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1.Elminster’s Death-to-the-Caster.
2.Power word, fart.
3.Gelatinous Shell (immediately surrounds the caster in a gelatinous cube).
4.Safe fall (like feather fall, but makes you weigh as much as a 12 ton bank vault).
5.Polymorph Udder (a highly specialized spell which only affects female cattle).
6.Stinking Klaus (summons a fat, smelly German business man, who chases your enemies while eating an Oktoberfest sausage and belching).
7.Magnetskin (a variation of stoneskin - makes the caster’s skin magnetic, giving all metallic weapons a +10 bonus to hit).
8.Meatier Swarm (large chunks of ground chuck rain to the ground).
9.Polymorph any Omelet.
10.Fireballs (sets the target’s testicles on fire).