The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep!

Noggles and kelpies share the mythological ancestory of a creature known as "The Water Horse". Just kidding…NOGGLES SHARE NOTHING, do you hear me kelpies? Go back to your holes!

In traditional mythology, the "water horse" pretends to be a regular horse or something, until it lures some fool onto its back. Then it rides right into the lake, to the astonishment of its rider. Pretty good trick.

This leads us to (or is it away from) "The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep".

In this big-budget hollywood production, "The Water Horse" is translated into a non-threatening dog-like creature who may or may not be The Loch Ness Monster. Overall, I found it a feel good hit, suitable for children and adults alike. But in the crevices, I found a points that require explaining.

1. The "Water Horse" isn't very crafty. He doesn't "lure" anyone into anything, prefering to hop around, bark incohernently, and eat lots of garbage. This is patently false. A real noggle, even a BABY, should be able to out-trick and out-maneuver a normal human. Let alone some dog…in real life, they would have been vacuuming up doggie brains by the 2nd reel.

2. The "Water Horse" sure eats a lot of garbage. But this actually illustrates an important point…it's NOT garbage just because you pull it out of the garbage. This has been proven again and again by Noggle Philosophers. You see children, the garbage can is a portal. Portals can be traversed in 2 directions. It's part of the circle of life, and all that jazz.

3. The "Water Horse" requires constant moistening. This is completely true. Noggles are often depicted moving about on dry land, which they can do quite comfortably. But there is always a source of water nearby, be it a stream, lake, ocean or 40 oz. plastic bottle. A squirt now and then does wonders to refresh a parched noggle, both inside and out.

4. There is no 4.

5. If you want to see a lovable children's movie more truthful to noggle esprit, then just watch "Five Children and It" (www.imdb.com/title/tt0366450/). The "Sand Fairie" HERO is Noggle in every way, especially since it is voiced by Eddie Izzard, an honorary Noggle if every there was one.

Hope these notes help in your further cinematic pursuits.