I'm going to be starting a fan fiction book, and I need some help on critiquing my plot, characters, writing style, and so forth. I'll be posting the raw un-critiqued pages, and then after they have been critiqued I will post the finished pages on my blog.
So the question is, who will help me by posting helpful posts and critique nicely?
• Protagonist will be Jarl Zallow.
• Co-protagonist will be an IG-86 assassin droid Talus-6, Ships mechanic and love interest Marie Sulstar, Pilot of Red Lady and Ex-Commando Jace Banner, and Jarl's Jedi Master Duncan.
• I have not decided who the main Antagonist will be. Help with this would be nice.
• Legacy Era
After Jarl has left the hidden temple he will become slightly hard, but not dark. He is total light side. The light side version of Darth Malgus. This is his picture:
Jarl Zallow Show
I want the story to go from Jarl as a padawan to knight, and then Crusader. The first few chapters will focus on Jarl's training, and then go to Duncan's death right after Jarl has become a Jedi Knight. Jarl will feel Duncan's death. Then he will go tell off the Jedi council and chew them out about sitting around while the galaxy is ravaged by the dark side, and how they are doing nothing about it. He will then leave the hidden temple after he feels Duncan die. He will be mind wiped the insure he can't tell of the hidden temple. He will go to Tattooine and find the scene of his Master's death, some were he will find Duncan's lightsaber. Jarl will pick it up and swear to serve the light side and hunt down, destroy all dark siders, and protect innocent people. He will then go on a crusade around the galaxy. At some point he will meet the crew of the smuggling ship Red lady. He will join forces with them, and together they will... Not so sure about the rest of this. This is as far as I got.
Some help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
I'll cogitate on it and throw something your way when I get a chance.
Maybe I should have worded it better then swearing to hunt down and destroy darkside force-users. What I mean is he has sworn to protect all good people, and oppose all dark sider in all things.
Here is my first page:
Chapter One Show
Sounds like a good start. I don't know what happened to your spoiler block, but when I unhide it, it extends horizontally off the screen. I had to copy and paste it to a notepad to read it properly.
Anyway, like I said, I don't know anything about Legacy Era. Who is commanding the Stormtroopers in this era? Is there still an Empire and a Rebellion?
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