Very nicely written, and it's pretty hard to offend me. I'm liking what everyone has added, sorry for my character's grammer not being very "timely." I just thought it would be funny to write a pre-teen rant.
Its no problem at all. I found the rant very amusing.
Imagine a world where the first-time D&D player rolls stats, picks a race, picks a class, picks an alignment, and buys gear to create a character. Imagine if an experienced player, maybe the person helping our theoretical player learn the ropes, could also make a character by rolling ability scores and picking a race, class, feat, skills, class features, spells or powers, and so on. Those two players used different paths to build characters, but the system design allows them to play at the same table. -Mearl
Bah, bunch of landlocked folk, No respect for the water, too overconfident when in a place not of their element. Might have been able to get to this place faster without the ship, and more so without having to lug that raft around. Then they dare to ask me to plunder my home, just so they could make more money? Fools hardly understand the real treasures of my world.
Still, I can't say my position is much better, residing on land. Only reason I took the ship really, if for no other reason then to be used to not being underwater all the time. A flower is not going to bloom if drowned all the time, and even the sea grasses use the light of the sun. I too must harness this power.
DISCO IN THE BACK OF A WAGON!! I find that if i shine a light on myself, i make the crazy lights bounce everywhere! Money idea prehaps. Today we saw a wall place but were not allowed to go. Also we fought a load of goblins, and the big lady kept falling over! There was a pixie as well, a greedy little thing. The scary man we killed and i got his orb of magics and there was a crown and lots of gold! Today was a fun day. Now we head to a port to send the not little girl home to her parents, the scary man scared her. But until then its disco time! And we have two horses and this cart. Mr half orc wants to find others to fight with, and i dont know who to stal....follow. Well have fun big tower! *A load of incoherant words and screams follow for a few minutes*
-A magic mouth in a tree, spoken to a passer by...
Thank you for your tutelage in the military arts, and your friendship. I am sure it will come in handy. Do yourself a favor do not show me a loyalty if they come for you. Take care.
Your Friend,
Thyren
Pened and sent prior to boarding the Calm Bell...
Dear Uncle Holston,
I feel ashamed that I don't tell you this in person, but I feel that you might have tried to talk me out of my decision to leave. I feel that now that I am of age that my welcome from the new lord of House Caldair has been worn out. I have booked passage on a ship called Melora's Grace headed for Wealdland. I have always wanted to see my mother's homeland. I wish you the best of luck and be careful since we both know of my father's innocence. I know I can trust you, but it is safer that I do not put my reason on paper. Keep safe and watch your back until I return.
Your nephew,
Thyren P.S. I would loyally follow Lord Holston.
Pened in CodKrieg Inn
Dear Mother and Father,
I am far away from Castle Caldair, but I hope that the seed I have planted will bear fruit. I never dreamed of ruling and I still do not, but I will not let my father's name continue to be besmirched. For the past few years, I have bitten my tongue while your family has continue to spread lies of you, father, and unkind words of you, my mother. Only recently have I discovered that my mother's death was most likely not do to a natural sickness, but alas a poison. Everything is in the beginning for me and the only thing I know is I can trust no one in the Castle even my good friend Rylan who I wish to keep him out of the chess game that we nobels play. I am a novice at this game so patience is my tool of choice. Experience and skill are what I need most. I will bide my time with my new capable companions while we tail a less than normal group of adventures to put it lightly.
Your son,
Thyren
Thyren carefully folds the paper meticiously before he walks over and nonchalantly tosses into the fire at the inn. Pretending to warm his hands as he watches it burn.
The following has been translated from a series of ancient Elvish chirps and cheeps that constitute the Pixie tongue for your convenience...
Thorn's rant to no one in particular on the road South.
"What. The. F***!? I set out to find an Eladrin princess, and end up having to babysit 4 cubs instead of 1!?
The Eladrin herself is alright...but for some reason she doesn't always team up with me so we can coordinate my...errr..."our" strikes for maximum brutality! As if the rest of these losers could hit better or harder than me.
China-shop is a douche, he tried to blow me up with his mind, didn't work...might be a secret rival from the Bone Wastes...need more intel...Oh, and I so called dibs on that big round shiney after I killed "Tool" the epic level necromancer! Don't they know about the "blood price" here in the Wealdlands?
Then there is the Orc. He might not have made my s***list, except HE did not recognize my loot claim on the four-armed-Bugbear Battlemaster-General when I slew him either! Again, "blood price" people! He does know good drinking games though.
And finally there is Miss Big Britches. I know her type. "I am big and tall and strong! Look at me all imposing! I am compensating for..." ....ummm...hmmm...she is not a male of her species...anyway, she fell down A LOT! On her FACE! I nearly pissed my leaves laughing every time!
So seeing as how they will probably get themselves killed without me, the muscle of the gang...and brains...and speed...and I am the cutest one as well...anyway, they probably wouldn't last half a day without me, so I will just have to stick around them to make sure they don't fall down a bottomless hole or wake a Dracolich or something...
...but I'm keeping my crown as a deposit pig-f***ers!"
(OOC: Thorn will not keep the crown, just let me know when the party want to appraise and sell it;-))
Like OMG I can't believe my stupid mother sent Thorn to get me. She's so stupid, Thorn is acting all "cool" like always "It's always about me chirp chirp chirp." It's ok I'm prettier. Who didn't tell Frog that the whole disco ball thing was so last year... sigh... what a loser. All this walking is making my feet hurt. That she-man keeps hoarding the horse, doesn't she know who I am, she should be begging for me to ride that horse. That scary man that keeps following me, I think his name is Korgul, ugh it's like he's never seen a growing up woman before. It's OK though he seems to be cool. We almost got ambushed by these goblins, but my bff Korgul saved the day by ambushing them, my hero. Then my hero decides to look in the Tools bags and I peaked in and saw bones GROSS!! Then the Tool got all scary and was like "Who do you blah blah blah." I then told everyone that no one yells at me and to kill the gross man with the bones. They obeyed my orders like always. Like, then everyone told me he was a necromancer and that could have been a lot worst. Whatever, I wasn't scared, well a little. I'm glad I ordered everyone to get rid of him. After that we were kind of lost. The She-man told me about the war up north and about scary creatures and such. I kind of got scared after that necromancer and the stories of what's up north, so I told everyone I want to go home. I really don't want to because home stinks, but I'll be better off in a city/port area anyways. Feels like home, but not. Thank god before I left I bought this, what's it called, "My little Adventurer's kit." Sleeping bag, journal, pen, hair ties, snacks and lights, man I don't know what I'd do without it. That's enough for tonight, I hope this new city is as cool as my weird new friends.
Ancient Spirits, I fear that stonewalker where right to turn their back on me. I fear I am losing control over “Ragebound”. His presence has is become a distraction and I may very well die to a knife in the belly in the attempt to contain his rage before I need worry about being overwhelmed. His rage has never been this strong, not even when I first born the curse. I suspect that the dark magic of the necromancer may have triggered something in “Ragebound”.
I will not attempt to betray your trust, I know that some part of the anger is my own, the abominations that human made of the dead is an unforgivable offense! However, I fear for the consequences of losing myself to Koreel’s fury. I am made more uneasy by the thought that my curse is endangering my companions.
I have already grown accustomed to my companions. The half-orc has shown himself to be untrustworthy. This land is no place to find honor and my experiences thus far we will be well served by his questionable character. I’ve started to question Frog’s stability he has been creating flickering lights since we first set out from CodKrieg. It started with exasperating and particularly annoying flickering chirping light show. Elz’s has apparently decide to make its her make believe friend. Sigh, even Korgul seems to be playing along! The bit of magic however seems to help Frog drink alcohol properly so there is at least that.
I feel some relief from Elz’s choice to return to her family. It is for the best. This is a unsafe land and I fear she is not yet prepared for its dangerous. I will see the girl off to her family and then see what I can find out of this crown. It makes me uneasy to consider what the necromancer was doing with a crown. If all of the human of this land desecrate the dead so, I hope we struck down the king of such evil beings. It is good that the blacksmith partied with his stallion, I may need a strong horse to purge all the inhuman beast from this island.
- Lanshee's prayers on the journey to the port city of Windebruck.
Imagine a world where the first-time D&D player rolls stats, picks a race, picks a class, picks an alignment, and buys gear to create a character. Imagine if an experienced player, maybe the person helping our theoretical player learn the ropes, could also make a character by rolling ability scores and picking a race, class, feat, skills, class features, spells or powers, and so on. Those two players used different paths to build characters, but the system design allows them to play at the same table. -Mearl
........Everyone is good and drunk, even the skeletons in the corner. Everyone except the big wench, watching disapprovingly, her arms crossed always watching. "She can go bugger herself."
There are strange lights dancing along the walls, and the music is loud. Korgul downs another pint. "What the ****!?" Korgul recoils surprised to see Thorn smiling up at him from the bottom of his tankard, she begins chirping at him "This is MY ale you pig****!!"
As he looks back inside the tankard, a red mist rises out to form a claw, raking at him. Korgul falls back his face burning, an empty tankard on the floor beside him, a fat whale of a man at the next table looks down laughing, food spraying from his nose and mouth.
Korgul rises and shoulders his way to the back room. There he finds Maggie dancing to the loud music comming from the common room, her hips gyrating, light flashing across her young body, the whole room is pulsating. Korgul grabs her roughly and leads her upstairs to his room.
Inside, the moon shines brightly through the window, the loud music seeps in muffled through the closed door. Maggie is riding him roughly and moaning loudly, her head thrown back, perfect breasts bouncing. As she leans forward her face transforms. Bright green eyes gleam out from behind golden hair a wicked grin on her lips. Shocked Korgul throws Elz to the ground. Half a second later the door busts open, and half a dozen Stormcrows pour into the room, charging at him with steel bared. An axe sweeps toward him..................
Korgul jerks awake, his hand grasping for his dagger hilt. Then he realizes where he is, the horses plodding along infront of him. Lanshee looks down at him strangly, frowning she looks back to the road, reins in hand. The night is clear and crisp, a million shining stars in the bright nightime sky. Korgul looks back over his shoulder to see the rest of the group asleep in the back of the wagon. He uncorks his wineskin and takes a quaff of ale. Reaching to his face he traces a hand over the fresh scars left by the necromancers dark magic.
He hands the wineskin to Lanshee...... and contemplates the road ahead.
A restless dream on the road south.
P.S. Not sure if your character actually has green eyes and golden hair Elz. I just took a stab in the dark. If not let me know and I can edit.
((sorry to break Korgul's very deep and emotional dream and mood but it had to be done, and yeah you guys aren't the only ones that will feature in the tavern))
Month of Summertide, Day 7;
I am looking outside to this village of mine and i think to myself, how i have grown old. And with it how this village has changed so much, CodKrieg... it used to be larger, but the Tyrant War burned it to a crisp and left but a small hamlet of fishing villages. The trees have brought a great variety of fruit, i do love the apples, they are much better eaten straight away without baking it into a pie.
Month of Summertide, Day 13;
I sit and watch the apple trees and think to myself, how i am just like a tree. I was born a sapling, fresh, green and naive to the world, my bark still unformed i took hits which scarred me. But as i grew older, becoming hero of the town like a tree rising and growing its leaves and touching the sun while covering the ones below me with a protective shadow against the sun. But now i have grown old, my bark is thick and little gets through, just like the apple tree my fruits are rotting, if a fruit is unused then so will it rot.
On another subject, the tavern girls breasts are ripe as apples.
Month of Summertide, Day 21;
I have sat here and looked at the apple trees, an apple in hand. This apple fell on my head while i was sitting around under an apple tree, i wonder why it fell on my head... it hurt but why did it fall down? Speaking of which , why do things fall towards the earth in general. Is something pulling them down? Some dark creatures of the abyss which wants nothing but to steal all apples of this world? After further studying the apple, i cut it in half and looked inside. It reminds me of the village, inside the seeds for growth and around - the land- are the supplements and potential to let those seeds grow. I believe i like apples, they teach us so much. But the venom of greedy men take away the lands and leave the seeds alone to wither and die.
Month of Summertide, Day 23;
After further study of the mysterious apple of falling down, it got me to thinking about other things. I am thinking whether these apples are evil, a villager choked on one of the seeds and nearly died. Maybe the apples are actually an invading force that is trying to destroy our world, by slowly spreading and multiplying releasing spores that will EvenTuaLLY TaKE OVER THE WORLD AND RETURN WITH AN ARMADA OF MORE APPLES WHICH WILL DETERMINE WHETHER THE APPLES WILL RULE HUMANITY BUT WHAT IF THERE IS OTHER APPLE KINDS WHICH WILL FIGHT FOR DOMINANCE DOES THIS MEAN THERE IS GOOD APPLES IS THERE APPLES OF ALL KINDS IS THERE A SPECTRUM OF GOOD AND BAD APPLES BUT THEN DOES THAT MEAN THE APPLES HAVE GODS WHICH GUIDE THEM THROUGH THIS MORALI............ (the writing fades off into gibberish).
Month of Summertide, Day 26;
I have been watching the evil apples of armageddon for about two days now, they are silent, suspicious and malevolant. Their reach has flung further than i thought, the apples in this village seem to be ignorant to the threat, eating away at apples feeding their apples while they, maybe the apples will accept me as their servant so the apples to do not apple us all with their appleness. the apples of the village do not understand the mightiness of the apples and their trees of doom. I must stay quiet lest they realise that i am a cultist of apple, for i am apple now as apples have appled the apple of apples.
Month of Appletide, Apple 30;
APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLE APPLES APPLE TREE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLES APPPLELESLL... APPLE APPLE APPLLES APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLE APPLES APPLE TREE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLES APPPLELESLL... APPLE APPLE APPLLES APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLE APPLES APPLE TREE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLES APPPLELESLL... APPLE APPLE APPLLES APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLE APPLES APPLE TREE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLES APPPLELESLL... APPLE APPLE APPLLES APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLE APPLES APPLE TREE APPLE APPLE APPLES APPLES APPPLELESLL... APPLE APPLE APPLLES APPLE APPLE
-Extracts from the Diary of Madrid the Elder of CodKrieg
