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May 31, 2010 -- 11:58AM, ProphetKing wrote:

The sun rises – and then is blown away by the fierce wind.

All over the world, dark clouds cover the sky. The atmosphere is covered in a dark iron curtain of cumulus. Thunder pours from the sky as if it mere rain and it hails daggers onto the ground. The people hide in fear, of whatever ungodly evil has been summoned by some fool.

The Great Guardian of the Sky, RAYQUAZA, has been summoned.

And he has come for Silly Dragons!

(Right Click - > View)

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Silly lay dead, once known in life as James, Town Aligned.

Now that Silly is dead, there is a calm. Once again all is right with the Heavens above.

But on Earth violence remains. King of Dominaria weeps over the loss of the one of his heart. He decides to end it all. He grabs an Arbok and shoves it onto it his neck. “BITE ME – END ME!” The snake does as asked and fills KoD with an exotic, incurable venom. He collapses.

Enraged and vicious, the snake systematically begins killing KoD’s poke’mon. Gengar and Beedrill are brutally slaughtered in an attempt to fight back. Skitty wisely tries to run away, but is easily taken out after Ekans discovers an underground gopher hole to pop out of. With great wide unhinged jaws, the snake swallows Skitty whole.

In great sorrow after the death of his owner, Silly, Wailord begins to look for his own lover – Skitty. It is a little known fact but whales and cats actually can interbreed in the pokemon world. Here is a graphic image illustrating this relationship.

Spoiler: Show

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At noticing the scent of Skitty in the vicious Arbok, Wailord goes nuts. He begins flopping around on the land and foaming from the mouth. He turns into some kind of suicide berserker and just throws his body haphazardly into anything. Mountains are crushed, caves are demolished, the earth is sundered. And Arbok is turned into a purple fruit roll up.

Meanwhile, KoD is suddenly feeling better! “I must have a natural immunity to snake poison or something. Wow…that was certainly sad and all, but y’know, I don’t think I’ll kill my – OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT STAMPEDING WHALE!”

It was like dropping the Moon onto an ant. KoD never stood a chance.

…wait, maybe he did! The blowhole! KoD managed to become a modern day Jonah and avoid certain dead by smashing. He begins to live inside the whale itself, starting a farming community on the great beasts tongue. Mostly living out of self grown mushrooms plucked from his own horribly unhygienic body and drinking whale saliva to survive, KoD is…well, still suicidal. But clinging onto life.

However, one day the great beast yawns. KoD tumbles back into the digestive system. His skin is flayed away by acid. Miraculously, he survives as some kind of horrible walking pile of muscles. Then…in the most horrible, disgusting way imaginable…he manages to escape from the whale using a secret exit.

Of course, the local insects also like what came out of the whale’s secret exit. They find KoD and decide he’d be much better with several stings and bites. KoD becomes violently ill from malaria and begins puking. Unfortunately he loses a lung in the process and has to be rushed to the hospital. There he is put into an iron lung and locked away by the hospital staff, who promptly forget to feed him. KoD starts starving to death inside an iron machine that is keeping him alive against his will. Crying every day, he wishes just to die.

Then, one day, a young boy from a local charity group brings KoD breakfast. There’s eggs, orange juice, coffee…and a bran muffin.

KoD eagerly eats the breakfast, having begun digesting his own stomach before being given the wonderful gift of food. He saves the muffin for last. He takes a big bite and begins choking. He passes out and dies from lack of oxygen.

However, the EMTs finally heard KoD’s cry! They bring in the jaws of life and a deliberator. AMAZINGLY, they actually bring KoD back from the dead! KoD managed to survive the terrible curse of the muffin! All is saved.

Unfortunately, whales are incredibly fond of muffins too. Wailord shows back up seeking the muffin and grinds everyone in the hospital to a fine paste. KoD is now a pancake and was, before being smashed into a breakfast food himself, Jessie, Town Aligned.

Eventually Silly’s Wailord killed itself after realizing its life as a reality TV star was meaningless. Silly’s other Poke’mon, Zapdos died of a heroin overdose.

…

Serena is drinking coffee peacefully. It is a luxury she will not have often.

Despite the caffeine, she drifts off into sleep.

She awakes to a beautiful woman.

Spoiler: Show

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The big, puffy pink lips…yes, Serena must give this woman a lovely kiss!

The making out is passionate and forceful. There is tongue on tongue action.

During this ungodly nightmare of mankind/poke'mon relations, a mysterious move is made. Jynx yawns incredibly loud - popping her cheekbones...which turn out to be whirling blades of death. Shocked Serena tries to escape, but Jynx bear hugs her into submission. In an instant the Jynx whirls Serena's tongue into a bloody pile of dust. Slowly, the electronic blades go deeper and deeper up Serena’s throat until finally reaching the brain. A few slices here and there…Serena has been given an involuntary lobotomy.

She stares into space aimlessly. She is of the living but her spirit is gone.

The odd Jynx continues its plan. It vomits out several eggs into the now living corpse of Serena, via oral entry. They hatch into little Jynx maggots and begin to feast on Serena’s non-vitals. Slowly, the maggots begin to mature while eating out the inside of the still breathing, lobotomized Serena. They keep her alive in order to sustain the body as a food source – ensuring to eat an unimportant muscle, a vestigial pancreas…she’ll stay fresh longer if her heart still beats…

It’s too horrible to watch anymore. All you need to know is that she was Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her remaining Poke’mon, Gengar and Mismagius died alone in the wilderness.

Television informs you Glare has the orb now. It then flips to some local news about a ship being fired upon. Bored, you watch aimlessly until you hear a gunshot.

A random Suicine had it's brains blown out. The exit wound is the size of your fist. You try to apply medicine but you realize duct tape can't fix the hypothalmus.

...

TL;DR:

* Silly Dragons died as James, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Wailord and Zapdos. He was obliterated by Rayquaza.

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* King of Dominaria died as Jessie, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Skitty, Gengar and Beedrill. He was crushed by Wailord.

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* Serena died as Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her Poke'mon were Gengar and Mismagius. She was given a Lovely Kiss.

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* A Suicine died.

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* Glare has the Orb.