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Switch to Forum Live View The Lord of the Rings Mafia - Mafia Wins
2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 4:06AM #541
Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy
  • Randomly humming since 2001
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Date Joined: Sep 7, 2001
Posts: 5,416
because I don't believe in this sudden bandwagon and want to see freddeh lynched instead. this wagon would have never formed that quickly on a mafiate imho
Abbot Pheldy OSM

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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 7:37AM #542
useless_mancer
Date Joined: Jan 30, 2010
Posts: 4,475
/facepalm
God d*** this looks dumb to me.
it looks like people just bandwagonned unto rag primarily because he was lurking.
so it looks like since he got bandwagonned so hard, the mafia seems to be dogpileing on rag to kill him off.

Unvote because this is quickly looking like a bad lynch to me even though there was originally decent evidance.
w00t hit my 1000th post on 4/25/2010
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I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Sep 25, 2010 -- 8:31AM, Skibo_the_first wrote:

Well obviously goblins breed at a rate of millions of times per year, thus in a few years they had evolved into a new species... you know or....



Spoiler: Show

Sep 28, 2010 -- 7:00PM, Random-Miser wrote:

Your asking for proof that the ocean is wet, while your standing on the beach.



Feb 1, 2011 -- 3:42PM, K-Mogg wrote:

Are these rankings all anonymus?

Can I go rank everybody I think is mafia with 1 star?



•Collecting a complete foil set of Zendikar block both on Magic Online and in paper Magic does not entitle you to one (1) free Richard Garfield. Because that would be slavery, and slavery is bad.


slayer of fluffy, and single handedly annoyed half of the flavor/storyline group in one fell swoop
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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 9:36AM #543
stinkyjoeterry
  • BCP5 Design Lead
  • Not Least
  • Master of the Universe
Date Joined: Sep 24, 2006
Posts: 14,000

Oct 3, 2011 -- 7:37AM, useless_mancer wrote:

/facepalm
God d*** this looks dumb to me.
it looks like people just bandwagonned unto rag primarily because he was lurking.
so it looks like since he got bandwagonned so hard, the mafia seems to be dogpileing on rag to kill him off.

Unvote because this is quickly looking like a bad lynch to me even though there was originally decent evidance.




Just to clarify, my vote and I suspect others as well had more to do with his worhtless Freddeh-Lynch boner that he won't drop than it had to do with his activity level, which is better than most.

ATTENTION WIZARDS OF THE COAST:
You have full rights to use any of my intellectual property found on these boards (I'm not going to use it and it'd be a shame to waste it).
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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 10:29AM #544
Freddeh
Date Joined: Aug 11, 2006
Posts: 5,566

Oct 3, 2011 -- 4:06AM, Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy wrote:

because I don't believe in this sudden bandwagon and want to see freddeh lynched instead. this wagon would have never formed that quickly on a mafiate imho




Yeah but I have a suspicion that Rag is actually a lynch bomb and thus doesn't care if he dies. Which means that scum would have no problem being on the wagon as well, because either 1) he doesn't die because of your reasoning, or 2) he dies and takes an unsuspecting townie with him.

I could be wrong and I'm curious to see what/if Rag claims anything, but this is what I'm thinking and why I would like to hammer, because then if I'm right I don't mind dying so I don't sidetrack more in the future.

Though honestly there is basically nothing he could claim that would stop me from hammering him at this point, so yeah, next time I see him at L-1 I will do it.

Mafia History (Most Fun and/or Favorites listed) Show
SoM Mafia - Mirran-Aligned Mason - Killed Night 5 - Mafia win
Iron Maiden Mafia (Classic) - Mafia-aligned Vanilla - Lived - Mafia Win - MVP
PK Hates you (Int) - Mafia Don - Lived - Mafia Flawless Victory
Toxic Waste Mafia (PC#3) - Mafia-aligned Roleblocker turned Hive-aligned Roleblocker - Hive win - MVP
Basic #4: The Orchard Tree Mafia - Town-aligned Apple - Killed Night 4 - Mafia Win
Mono has Mono, the privates story - Mafia-aligned Godfather - Lived - Mafia Win
Touhou: Border Collapse (PC#4) - Sakuya Izayoi - Died Night 2 - Mafia win
Tales of Symphonia (Int+) - Presea Combatir, Taciturn Girl - Lived - Town Win
Sunflowers for Ragnarokio (PC#5) - In progress
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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 10:59AM #545
The_Unwritten
  • Paranoia Paradise
Date Joined: Jan 31, 2005
Posts: 2,105
Unfortuned, we ended up with one laptop with Internet Access and Aiva needed. Therefore I could not do what I said I would. Next try is tomorrow morning.
Nobody talks about it.
Only the courage needed to write it in the dark words.
But fear for those who will put it on a piece of paper.
Yet, it is still unwritten.
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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 11:11AM #546
useless_mancer
Date Joined: Jan 30, 2010
Posts: 4,475

Oct 3, 2011 -- 9:36AM, stinkyjoeterry wrote:

Oct 3, 2011 -- 7:37AM, useless_mancer wrote:

/facepalm
God d*** this looks dumb to me.
it looks like people just bandwagonned unto rag primarily because he was lurking.
so it looks like since he got bandwagonned so hard, the mafia seems to be dogpileing on rag to kill him off.

Unvote because this is quickly looking like a bad lynch to me even though there was originally decent evidance.




Just to clarify, my vote and I suspect others as well had more to do with his worhtless Freddeh-Lynch boner that he won't drop than it had to do with his activity level, which is better than most.




ok, i thought it was rag being a lurker.

that does clarify stuff now.

Anyways i'd be more active but since last weel this entire month for me is being eaten up by time to help with wedding planning and whatnot for my sister and others, since i'm the oldest male in my family since my father is deceased i may end up walking the bride off and helping with other stuff.
It irritates me i have little time.  i have today but i'm not sure how much time i will have in the future, but i'll try to be on when i can, however it may not be enough to be more then a "lurker"

w00t hit my 1000th post on 4/25/2010
Spoiler: Show
I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Sep 25, 2010 -- 8:31AM, Skibo_the_first wrote:

Well obviously goblins breed at a rate of millions of times per year, thus in a few years they had evolved into a new species... you know or....



Spoiler: Show

Sep 28, 2010 -- 7:00PM, Random-Miser wrote:

Your asking for proof that the ocean is wet, while your standing on the beach.



Feb 1, 2011 -- 3:42PM, K-Mogg wrote:

Are these rankings all anonymus?

Can I go rank everybody I think is mafia with 1 star?



•Collecting a complete foil set of Zendikar block both on Magic Online and in paper Magic does not entitle you to one (1) free Richard Garfield. Because that would be slavery, and slavery is bad.


slayer of fluffy, and single handedly annoyed half of the flavor/storyline group in one fell swoop
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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 11:46AM #547
PeregrineV
Date Joined: Sep 9, 2010
Posts: 3,957
Unvote.
Vote: Rag

@Freddeh- saying your going to lynch regardless of claim doesn't make sense as town.
And I noticed also after UM unvoted (!?!), you didn't vote. Is there some particular reason you didn;t vote, or that your insisting on the actual hammer vote?
When I said it wasn't sarcasm, that was probably sarcasm. ~Thor665

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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 4:23PM #548
Freddeh
Date Joined: Aug 11, 2006
Posts: 5,566
I'm insisting on the hammer vote. Partially for sweet justice, partially because of my hunch. Rag has had plenty of time to do something, and his silence is just more incriminating evidence imo.

Vote: Rag

@TU: Work on your post overnight .
Mafia History (Most Fun and/or Favorites listed) Show
SoM Mafia - Mirran-Aligned Mason - Killed Night 5 - Mafia win
Iron Maiden Mafia (Classic) - Mafia-aligned Vanilla - Lived - Mafia Win - MVP
PK Hates you (Int) - Mafia Don - Lived - Mafia Flawless Victory
Toxic Waste Mafia (PC#3) - Mafia-aligned Roleblocker turned Hive-aligned Roleblocker - Hive win - MVP
Basic #4: The Orchard Tree Mafia - Town-aligned Apple - Killed Night 4 - Mafia Win
Mono has Mono, the privates story - Mafia-aligned Godfather - Lived - Mafia Win
Touhou: Border Collapse (PC#4) - Sakuya Izayoi - Died Night 2 - Mafia win
Tales of Symphonia (Int+) - Presea Combatir, Taciturn Girl - Lived - Town Win
Sunflowers for Ragnarokio (PC#5) - In progress
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2 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2011 - 9:15PM #549
Zinger2099
Date Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2,742
"We're being ambushed!" Ragnarokio said, "from all sides!"

And sure enough, as if on cue, Uruk-Hai's jumped out of the bushes. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. So they fought! And fought valiantly they did. But it was of little use, the Fellowship was overpowered, and broken.

"But how did they find us?" Someone said, "I was sure we covered out tracks."

Suspicion turned the group on itself, and soon vrcngtrx69, stinkyjoeterry, defuse, Mono789, PeregrineV, and Freddeh-scum were all pointing fingers at Ragnarokio.

Almost brought to tears by their bitter loss, Freddeh-scum lost it! "Traitor! I'll kill you for this!" He said. And kill him he did, in cold blood.

As the life ebbed from his body, Ragnarokio whispered the words "For Gondor..." which were scattered across the winds. Then he fell dead, gripping to his chest a great horn.

There was no mistaking it. Ragnarokio was Boromir, Town-Aligned Captain of Gondor.

"Oh damn" Freddeh-scum said. And the surrounding Uruk-Hai's laughed.







Day 2 Final VoteCount


Freddeh-scum (2): Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy, Ragnarokio
Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy (1): Aiva
Ragnarokio (6): vrcngtrx69, stinkyjoeterry, defuse, Mono789, PeregrineV, Freddeh-scum

Not Voting (2): The_Unwritten, useless_mancer

With 11 alive, it takes 6 votes to cause an early lynch. Ragnarokio has been Lynched by Majority Vote.

Day 2 Vote Log Show
#393, Day 2 Begins
#394, Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy votes Freddeh-scum
#395, Freddeh-scum votes useless_mancer
#396, Ragnarokio votes Freddeh-scum
#406, stinkyjoeterry votes useless_mancer
#415, useless_mancer votes stinkyjoeterry
#429, useless_mancer unvotes
#433, Freddeh-scum votes Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy
#442, Mono789 votes vrcngtrx69
#444, Freddeh-scum votes Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy
#457, Aiva votes Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy
#464, vrcngtrx69 votes Ragnarokio
#468, useless_mancer votes Ragnarokio
#475, stinkyjoeterry votes vrcngtrx69
#477, Freddeh-scum votes PeregrineV
#489, PeregrineV votes Ragnarokio
#500, Freddeh-scum votes vrcngtrx69
#507, PeregrineV votes Freddeh-scum
#516, PeregrineV votes Freddeh-scum
#520, Mono789 votes PeregrineV
#528, Freddeh-scum votes Ragnarokio
#529, stinkyjoeterry votes Ragnarokio
#535, defuse votes Ragnarokio
#536, Freddeh-scum unvotes
#537, Mono789 votes Ragnarokio
#542, useless_mancer unvotes
#547, PeregrineV votes Ragnarokio
#548, Freddeh-scum votes Ragnarokio
#549, Ragnarokio is Lynched, Day 2 Ends


It is now Night! Night will last until all night actions have been submitted, or for 120 hours, whichever comes first.

My Mafia No Lie Policy.
Talking about the Tomb of Horrors.
Previously Run Games Show
Quotes I liked Show

Apr 24, 2011 -- 9:31AM, shadowfyre77 wrote:

dude, zinger, you are awesome.

yeah.

Apr 13, 2011 -- 4:18PM, Tevish_Szat wrote:

Zinger . . . 10/90 - If he bussed his don as a scum rolename cop while faux dug his grave attacking the claimed cop d1... well, if he fooled us all to lylo he deserves to win.

Apr 15, 2011 -- 1:03PM, Ragnalesca wrote:

Zinger was the star of that game, don't you deny it

Jan 12, 2011 -- 2:35AM, fcjamison wrote:

Soon is a funny creature with a highly variable pupal state, after which it becomes the beautiful creature known as now. Sometimes this metamophosis takes as little as a day, and sometimes it takes several months. Occasionally, the creature enters hybernation after chrysalis begins, and it may be several seasons before the metamorphosis is complete. Occassionally, the creature dies while in the pupal state without warning, and waiting for now to emerge becomes a lesson in futility. This is also seen in the creature known as later, and waiting for both soon and later to become now can be a frustrating process.

Feb 2, 2011 -- 2:44AM, scylis wrote:

Knowing is Half the Battle.
The Other Half is VIOLENCE!

Imagine a lightsaber duel between Optimus Prime and Batman. You're welcome.

Jan 31, 2011 -- 9:13AM, Just_a_cleric wrote:

Will add that I think Zinger is just a new 'type' of mafia player that doesn't really play by our standards and therefor still leaning towards town for now based on the way he plays in other games and it's seemingly the same (and I can't really see him as scum in all of them).

Jan 28, 2011 -- 10:07PM, Zipperflesh wrote:

.45 magnum + bullet + computer screen = problem solved

Best Death-Post Ever by ProphetKing Show

May 31, 2010 -- 11:58AM, ProphetKing wrote:



The sun rises – and then is blown away by the fierce wind.

All over the world, dark clouds cover the sky. The atmosphere is covered in a dark iron curtain of cumulus. Thunder pours from the sky as if it mere rain and it hails daggers onto the ground. The people hide in fear, of whatever ungodly evil has been summoned by some fool.

The Great Guardian of the Sky, RAYQUAZA, has been summoned.

And he has come for Silly Dragons!

(Right Click - > View)

RAYQUAZAAMEN.png

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Silly lay dead, once known in life as James, Town Aligned.

Now that Silly is dead, there is a calm. Once again all is right with the Heavens above.

But on Earth violence remains. King of Dominaria weeps over the loss of the one of his heart. He decides to end it all. He grabs an Arbok and shoves it onto it his neck. “BITE ME – END ME!” The snake does as asked and fills KoD with an exotic, incurable venom. He collapses.

Enraged and vicious, the snake systematically begins killing KoD’s poke’mon. Gengar and Beedrill are brutally slaughtered in an attempt to fight back. Skitty wisely tries to run away, but is easily taken out after Ekans discovers an underground gopher hole to pop out of. With great wide unhinged jaws, the snake swallows Skitty whole.

In great sorrow after the death of his owner, Silly, Wailord begins to look for his own lover – Skitty. It is a little known fact but whales and cats actually can interbreed in the pokemon world. Here is a graphic image illustrating this relationship.

Spoiler: Show

Wailord_X_Skitty_by_YellerCrakka1.jpg


At noticing the scent of Skitty in the vicious Arbok, Wailord goes nuts. He begins flopping around on the land and foaming from the mouth. He turns into some kind of suicide berserker and just throws his body haphazardly into anything. Mountains are crushed, caves are demolished, the earth is sundered. And Arbok is turned into a purple fruit roll up.

Meanwhile, KoD is suddenly feeling better! “I must have a natural immunity to snake poison or something. Wow…that was certainly sad and all, but y’know, I don’t think I’ll kill my – OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT STAMPEDING WHALE!”

It was like dropping the Moon onto an ant. KoD never stood a chance.

…wait, maybe he did! The blowhole! KoD managed to become a modern day Jonah and avoid certain dead by smashing. He begins to live inside the whale itself, starting a farming community on the great beasts tongue. Mostly living out of self grown mushrooms plucked from his own horribly unhygienic body and drinking whale saliva to survive, KoD is…well, still suicidal. But clinging onto life.

However, one day the great beast yawns. KoD tumbles back into the digestive system. His skin is flayed away by acid. Miraculously, he survives as some kind of horrible walking pile of muscles. Then…in the most horrible, disgusting way imaginable…he manages to escape from the whale using a secret exit.

Of course, the local insects also like what came out of the whale’s secret exit. They find KoD and decide he’d be much better with several stings and bites. KoD becomes violently ill from malaria and begins puking. Unfortunately he loses a lung in the process and has to be rushed to the hospital. There he is put into an iron lung and locked away by the hospital staff, who promptly forget to feed him. KoD starts starving to death inside an iron machine that is keeping him alive against his will. Crying every day, he wishes just to die.

Then, one day, a young boy from a local charity group brings KoD breakfast. There’s eggs, orange juice, coffee…and a bran muffin.

KoD eagerly eats the breakfast, having begun digesting his own stomach before being given the wonderful gift of food. He saves the muffin for last. He takes a big bite and begins choking. He passes out and dies from lack of oxygen.

However, the EMTs finally heard KoD’s cry! They bring in the jaws of life and a deliberator. AMAZINGLY, they actually bring KoD back from the dead! KoD managed to survive the terrible curse of the muffin! All is saved.

Unfortunately, whales are incredibly fond of muffins too. Wailord shows back up seeking the muffin and grinds everyone in the hospital to a fine paste. KoD is now a pancake and was, before being smashed into a breakfast food himself, Jessie, Town Aligned.

Eventually Silly’s Wailord killed itself after realizing its life as a reality TV star was meaningless. Silly’s other Poke’mon, Zapdos died of a heroin overdose.



Serena is drinking coffee peacefully. It is a luxury she will not have often.

Despite the caffeine, she drifts off into sleep.

She awakes to a beautiful woman.

Spoiler: Show
clearyjynx.png


The big, puffy pink lips…yes, Serena must give this woman a lovely kiss!

The making out is passionate and forceful. There is tongue on tongue action.

During this ungodly nightmare of mankind/poke'mon relations, a mysterious move is made. Jynx yawns incredibly loud - popping her cheekbones...which turn out to be whirling blades of death. Shocked Serena tries to escape, but Jynx bear hugs her into submission. In an instant the Jynx whirls Serena's tongue into a bloody pile of dust. Slowly, the electronic blades go deeper and deeper up Serena’s throat until finally reaching the brain. A few slices here and there…Serena has been given an involuntary lobotomy.

She stares into space aimlessly. She is of the living but her spirit is gone.

The odd Jynx continues its plan. It vomits out several eggs into the now living corpse of Serena, via oral entry. They hatch into little Jynx maggots and begin to feast on Serena’s non-vitals. Slowly, the maggots begin to mature while eating out the inside of the still breathing, lobotomized Serena. They keep her alive in order to sustain the body as a food source – ensuring to eat an unimportant muscle, a vestigial pancreas…she’ll stay fresh longer if her heart still beats…

It’s too horrible to watch anymore. All you need to know is that she was Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her remaining Poke’mon, Gengar and Mismagius died alone in the wilderness.

Television informs you Glare has the orb now. It then flips to some local news about a ship being fired upon. Bored, you watch aimlessly until you hear a gunshot.

A random Suicine had it's brains blown out. The exit wound is the size of your fist. You try to apply medicine but you realize duct tape can't fix the hypothalmus.

...

TL;DR:

* Silly Dragons died as James, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Wailord and Zapdos. He was obliterated by Rayquaza.

321wailord.png145zapdos.png

* King of Dominaria died as Jessie, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Skitty, Gengar and Beedrill. He was crushed by Wailord.

300skitty.png094gengar.png015beedrill.png

* Serena died as Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her Poke'mon were Gengar and Mismagius. She was given a Lovely Kiss.

094gengar.png429mismagius.png

* A Suicine died.

245suicune.png

* Glare has the Orb.


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2 years ago  ::  Oct 08, 2011 - 1:21AM #550
Zinger2099
Date Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2,742
"Get a move on you lazy pigs!" the Uruk-Hai commander yelled as the battered Fellowship made it's way in chains towards Isengard. Yessiree, things did not bode well for our heroes, and they were only about to get worse. "Hey you, I said get a move on!" the commander said as he kicked Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy in the backside for having stopped moving. Unfortunately, when he does this, Feroz collapses into a heap of flesh! His insides have been somehow totally liquefied and drained. It is really quite grotesque, some of the Hobbits puked. The Uruk-Hai's laughed.

Of course by now it was evident to all those around him that Feroz-s_Familiar_Pheldy was Samwise Gamgee, Town-Aligned Hobbit. The poor fool never stood a chance.

Completely distraught by the loss of one of their own, some of the surviving Hobbits turned to each other for compassion in these dark times. One thing led to another and, well....you have the making of a tiny movie.









And now for something completely different...

IT IS NOW DAY 3! WITH 9 PLAYERS ALIVE, DAY 3 WILL END IN 18 DAYS OR BY MAJORITY VOTE (5 VOTES).

My Mafia No Lie Policy.
Talking about the Tomb of Horrors.
Previously Run Games Show
Quotes I liked Show

Apr 24, 2011 -- 9:31AM, shadowfyre77 wrote:

dude, zinger, you are awesome.

yeah.

Apr 13, 2011 -- 4:18PM, Tevish_Szat wrote:

Zinger . . . 10/90 - If he bussed his don as a scum rolename cop while faux dug his grave attacking the claimed cop d1... well, if he fooled us all to lylo he deserves to win.

Apr 15, 2011 -- 1:03PM, Ragnalesca wrote:

Zinger was the star of that game, don't you deny it

Jan 12, 2011 -- 2:35AM, fcjamison wrote:

Soon is a funny creature with a highly variable pupal state, after which it becomes the beautiful creature known as now. Sometimes this metamophosis takes as little as a day, and sometimes it takes several months. Occasionally, the creature enters hybernation after chrysalis begins, and it may be several seasons before the metamorphosis is complete. Occassionally, the creature dies while in the pupal state without warning, and waiting for now to emerge becomes a lesson in futility. This is also seen in the creature known as later, and waiting for both soon and later to become now can be a frustrating process.

Feb 2, 2011 -- 2:44AM, scylis wrote:

Knowing is Half the Battle.
The Other Half is VIOLENCE!

Imagine a lightsaber duel between Optimus Prime and Batman. You're welcome.

Jan 31, 2011 -- 9:13AM, Just_a_cleric wrote:

Will add that I think Zinger is just a new 'type' of mafia player that doesn't really play by our standards and therefor still leaning towards town for now based on the way he plays in other games and it's seemingly the same (and I can't really see him as scum in all of them).

Jan 28, 2011 -- 10:07PM, Zipperflesh wrote:

.45 magnum + bullet + computer screen = problem solved

Best Death-Post Ever by ProphetKing Show

May 31, 2010 -- 11:58AM, ProphetKing wrote:



The sun rises – and then is blown away by the fierce wind.

All over the world, dark clouds cover the sky. The atmosphere is covered in a dark iron curtain of cumulus. Thunder pours from the sky as if it mere rain and it hails daggers onto the ground. The people hide in fear, of whatever ungodly evil has been summoned by some fool.

The Great Guardian of the Sky, RAYQUAZA, has been summoned.

And he has come for Silly Dragons!

(Right Click - > View)

RAYQUAZAAMEN.png

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Silly lay dead, once known in life as James, Town Aligned.

Now that Silly is dead, there is a calm. Once again all is right with the Heavens above.

But on Earth violence remains. King of Dominaria weeps over the loss of the one of his heart. He decides to end it all. He grabs an Arbok and shoves it onto it his neck. “BITE ME – END ME!” The snake does as asked and fills KoD with an exotic, incurable venom. He collapses.

Enraged and vicious, the snake systematically begins killing KoD’s poke’mon. Gengar and Beedrill are brutally slaughtered in an attempt to fight back. Skitty wisely tries to run away, but is easily taken out after Ekans discovers an underground gopher hole to pop out of. With great wide unhinged jaws, the snake swallows Skitty whole.

In great sorrow after the death of his owner, Silly, Wailord begins to look for his own lover – Skitty. It is a little known fact but whales and cats actually can interbreed in the pokemon world. Here is a graphic image illustrating this relationship.

Spoiler: Show

Wailord_X_Skitty_by_YellerCrakka1.jpg


At noticing the scent of Skitty in the vicious Arbok, Wailord goes nuts. He begins flopping around on the land and foaming from the mouth. He turns into some kind of suicide berserker and just throws his body haphazardly into anything. Mountains are crushed, caves are demolished, the earth is sundered. And Arbok is turned into a purple fruit roll up.

Meanwhile, KoD is suddenly feeling better! “I must have a natural immunity to snake poison or something. Wow…that was certainly sad and all, but y’know, I don’t think I’ll kill my – OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT STAMPEDING WHALE!”

It was like dropping the Moon onto an ant. KoD never stood a chance.

…wait, maybe he did! The blowhole! KoD managed to become a modern day Jonah and avoid certain dead by smashing. He begins to live inside the whale itself, starting a farming community on the great beasts tongue. Mostly living out of self grown mushrooms plucked from his own horribly unhygienic body and drinking whale saliva to survive, KoD is…well, still suicidal. But clinging onto life.

However, one day the great beast yawns. KoD tumbles back into the digestive system. His skin is flayed away by acid. Miraculously, he survives as some kind of horrible walking pile of muscles. Then…in the most horrible, disgusting way imaginable…he manages to escape from the whale using a secret exit.

Of course, the local insects also like what came out of the whale’s secret exit. They find KoD and decide he’d be much better with several stings and bites. KoD becomes violently ill from malaria and begins puking. Unfortunately he loses a lung in the process and has to be rushed to the hospital. There he is put into an iron lung and locked away by the hospital staff, who promptly forget to feed him. KoD starts starving to death inside an iron machine that is keeping him alive against his will. Crying every day, he wishes just to die.

Then, one day, a young boy from a local charity group brings KoD breakfast. There’s eggs, orange juice, coffee…and a bran muffin.

KoD eagerly eats the breakfast, having begun digesting his own stomach before being given the wonderful gift of food. He saves the muffin for last. He takes a big bite and begins choking. He passes out and dies from lack of oxygen.

However, the EMTs finally heard KoD’s cry! They bring in the jaws of life and a deliberator. AMAZINGLY, they actually bring KoD back from the dead! KoD managed to survive the terrible curse of the muffin! All is saved.

Unfortunately, whales are incredibly fond of muffins too. Wailord shows back up seeking the muffin and grinds everyone in the hospital to a fine paste. KoD is now a pancake and was, before being smashed into a breakfast food himself, Jessie, Town Aligned.

Eventually Silly’s Wailord killed itself after realizing its life as a reality TV star was meaningless. Silly’s other Poke’mon, Zapdos died of a heroin overdose.



Serena is drinking coffee peacefully. It is a luxury she will not have often.

Despite the caffeine, she drifts off into sleep.

She awakes to a beautiful woman.

Spoiler: Show
clearyjynx.png


The big, puffy pink lips…yes, Serena must give this woman a lovely kiss!

The making out is passionate and forceful. There is tongue on tongue action.

During this ungodly nightmare of mankind/poke'mon relations, a mysterious move is made. Jynx yawns incredibly loud - popping her cheekbones...which turn out to be whirling blades of death. Shocked Serena tries to escape, but Jynx bear hugs her into submission. In an instant the Jynx whirls Serena's tongue into a bloody pile of dust. Slowly, the electronic blades go deeper and deeper up Serena’s throat until finally reaching the brain. A few slices here and there…Serena has been given an involuntary lobotomy.

She stares into space aimlessly. She is of the living but her spirit is gone.

The odd Jynx continues its plan. It vomits out several eggs into the now living corpse of Serena, via oral entry. They hatch into little Jynx maggots and begin to feast on Serena’s non-vitals. Slowly, the maggots begin to mature while eating out the inside of the still breathing, lobotomized Serena. They keep her alive in order to sustain the body as a food source – ensuring to eat an unimportant muscle, a vestigial pancreas…she’ll stay fresh longer if her heart still beats…

It’s too horrible to watch anymore. All you need to know is that she was Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her remaining Poke’mon, Gengar and Mismagius died alone in the wilderness.

Television informs you Glare has the orb now. It then flips to some local news about a ship being fired upon. Bored, you watch aimlessly until you hear a gunshot.

A random Suicine had it's brains blown out. The exit wound is the size of your fist. You try to apply medicine but you realize duct tape can't fix the hypothalmus.

...

TL;DR:

* Silly Dragons died as James, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Wailord and Zapdos. He was obliterated by Rayquaza.

321wailord.png145zapdos.png

* King of Dominaria died as Jessie, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Skitty, Gengar and Beedrill. He was crushed by Wailord.

300skitty.png094gengar.png015beedrill.png

* Serena died as Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her Poke'mon were Gengar and Mismagius. She was given a Lovely Kiss.

094gengar.png429mismagius.png

* A Suicine died.

245suicune.png

* Glare has the Orb.


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