In a Dark Alley: Malos Devinokar

Jim C. Gadrow

G’day ladies and gentlemen! Gather round and hear a tale or two of beings both wretched and righteous as told by yours truly, Makari Verslund, world-renowned bard and mischief-maker! All I ask is for a copper or two and a mere moment of your time.

            My tale today begins in a small city by the sea known as Glendor. It was here that I met, rather by accident I do say, a curiously groomed young man by the name of Malos Devinokar. He was dressed in a loose-fitting garment with a red sash about his waist and a beautifully bejeweled rapier hanging from his left hip. He had an odd way of glancing about him, with his vibrant, green eyes, as if expecting an ambush at any moment and his hand brushed strands of coal black hair from his eyes more than once. His face was remarkably well kempt, and many ladies, I am certain, have thought it handsome. Though, there was a fierceness behind those laughing eyes not visible to the untrained eye. I, of course, being a brave and adventurous soul, did not fear this young man, though many people in the street certainly gave him a wide berth.

            I decided from the look of the sword he so proudly displayed that he might have a copper or two to dispense to a performer of my caliber, and so I took up a rousing song of a young maiden who met her lover at the fair titled, “Julia’s Fancy.” You’ve never heard of the tune you say? Well, I suppose I could sing a few lines of it and then you might remember hearing it once before. Sir? Oh, yes, I do digress. I apologize, on with the tale.

            So, there I was, singing of how lady Julia managed to find her fair knight, while this young man didn’t bother to drop as much as a single copper into my performer’s cup! Instead, he marched right up to me and joined in! I was quite taken aback, I must say. For, now I had gathered a small crowd around me and would now have to share my profits with some man who thought himself equal to one of the world’s greatest bards! But, the show must go on, and truth be told, he did make a better Julia than I. We finished up, collected our dues and he offered to accompany me to a tavern he knew tell of.

            As I accompanied him to the tavern, I learned a great deal about his past and his current occupation. It seems this jaunty fellow was raised as one of seven brothers and sisters in filth and squalor on the outskirts of town. His father, who had once been a skilled blacksmith, was left unable to perform his duties after an accident one day at the forge. This left the family no choice but to save every copper piece as if it were gold. Since his mother had no employable skills and his father could do naught but lie in a bed, Malos took it upon himself to find a source of income for his family.

            It was then that he settled on a career using his wits to separate fools from their money. He was skilled at swindling money from commoners and possessed of a silver tongue that aided him in eluding imprisonment more than a few times. However, he knew that his luck would only last for a short time. He sought out work that would allow him to help his family and put him in the public spotlight, where he always longed to be.

            A few years ago, he was able to find work as a crewman on the Dancing Blade. He is now the first mate! He has earned some recognition for his services aboard the Dancing Blade, however, his real fame comes from the duels he attends, and usually wins, weekly at the Royal Pub. This puts a little extra coin in his purse and gains him a small measure of respect among the common folk.

            At this point, we entered the tavern, the ‘Boisterous Maid.’ I have managed to see many inns across the world both fair and foul, and the ‘Boisterous Maid’ definitely falls into the latter category. After paying 5 gold coins for the most rank and rancid ale I have ever sampled in my long years, and watching him haggle with the inn keep over 1 copper, he finally settled in and told me about the rest of his life, all the while observing everything around him.

            He confessed to me that his dearest wish in all the world is to one day own his own vessel and go into business as a privateer. Slightly less important than this burning desire is to one day hobnob with royalty and be able to provide everything his family has ever wanted. This has become even more important to him in the past fortnight, since his father passed. Afterwards, we took turns at singing songs that we knew until I paid the serving wench her tip, I swear this young man makes me laugh, but he is too young to be a miser! I took my leave of the young man and bid him good fortune.

            Well, friends, my old bones grow weary and I must take my leave of you. I kindly thank those of you who were generous enough to spare an old bard a coin and an ear and wish to see you again soon. Farewell and adieu!

Makari’s Museum of Madness: Petting Zoo or Pile of Goo?

Jim C. Gadrow

            Enter and welcome to my very first column! These were, originally, going to be for a friend-of-a-friend's website but they grew lazy. I use the word 'column' lightly as I'm not really ready to dedicate my time to this but I felt the term fit.

            Unlike the other columns that I will be writing, I felt that this one deserved a little special attention. This column will not have a running theme as the others do; it is for random tidbits that I feel like creating or sharing. Some months it may include support information for other columns, a story from one of my gaming sessions, or anything else that seems like a good idea. Now, on with the show!

            In this article of Makari’s Museum of Madness, we shall be sharing a little story from a campaign I began running and tips on how to avoid the same fate as the unfortunate character. The character in question was played by a novice gamer and thus these tips are probably better suited to someone of a comparable play level.

            There they were, the brave party of adventurers attempting to return to the home of Baladir, one of the party’s dwarven fighters. The other party members consisted of an elven druid, an elven wizard, a human rogue, a half-elven ranger, and an npc dwarven fighter. They had just won through many tough battles in the duergar encampment and were quickly closing upon the natural cavern that would lead them to the dwarven holdings.

            Being unafraid, they entered the cavern and decided to check the occasional side cavern for anything useful. In one cavern, however, they managed to spot a large, nearly translucent cube of a gooey-looking substance. It reached out towards them and they fled in a panic, for they were still grievously injured from their previous battles. Hungry and sensing weakened prey, the gelatinous mass squirmed quickly after them.

            The noise of the party bolting headlong into the cavern chased by the pile of slime was enough to alert the two bugbear sentries that were positioned further up in the cavern. They decided to investigate the disturbance and inadvertently caught the party between the bugbears and the cube. On the first round of combat, the NPC fighter was swallowed up and paralyzed. This did not bode well for the party as he was their heavy hitter. And so, Baladir took it upon himself to attempt to dive into the gelatinous mass and free his brother in arms, not knowing of the paralytic or acidic qualities of the slime.

            After all was said and done, with the party escaping a grisly death by the heroic fighting prowess of their sorceress, every character lay on the brink of death. This is how my group began keeping a tally of who has committed the most suicidal actions.

            As a special note, this session took place prior to the release of the 3.5 rules. Thus, there was not an obvious way to avoid this encounter. However, if you give some thought to the descriptions given to you by the DM, you can usually guess several things about your opponent that wouldn’t be considered out of character information (provided your character is intelligent enough to figure out the basic concepts behind the appearance). In the above example, if you are squared off against a sentient mass of gelatinous material that is translucent and you witness no discernable anatomy, it likely is acidic. After all, it has to digest its food somehow. Other hints can come from such observations: if its body is made of a durable material, it likely has some form of damage resistance; if it has appendages that resemble tentacles, it likely can trip and grapple opponents with ease; if it has wings, it probably flies. These are all simple observations that can save your character’s life. So, pay attention to those descriptions! Until next time, have fun!

I'm going to see if submitting links to a DIFFERENT blog containing my original novel idea would still constitute giving Wizards the rights to said book. So, I'm putting this project on hold. I definitely would like to do it as I think it's a new use for the technology, but I don't want my hard work to suddenly appear in printed form (you know, if it's any good) and get nothing for it!

Obviously, commentary is appreciated. Due to the method that I'm using to publish this, I can't promise that each post will be, in and of itself, exciting and momentus. Also, it will not be run through an editor prior to posting so if any grammatical errors are found, I will attempt to correct them. One of the benefits of this medium.

I will be posting this blog  in, roughly, 500 word increments. This amounts to about 2 standard pages of written content. So, if I'm able to keep up with it, I should have a completed novel in approximately 175 days.

I will be using my own setting and characters for the novel. The story synopsis is:

Azralin is a loyal, faithful servant to his god. What more can one expect from an angel? Azralin finds himself in love with a mortal woman as his enemies begin a war between faiths. Can Azralin keep his love safe and remain steadfast in his faith while war rages across the land? Or will darkness triumph and claim all of Allabrilyn?

The lady of the fey
Emerges, trembling and naked, from the lake
In mortal form she has no more wings to fly
But her heart feels full to bursting
With new-found love
The light and the dark have beckoned her
And she is inclined to go
To the raging furnace of Passion
To aide the Light against darkness
Though she comes late to the struggle
This lady is no stranger to troubles
Nor stranger to dreams
For she is from the land of the immortal
And she knows that the magic in this land is not dead
Only slumbering
She shall awaken it with her immortal tread