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offeringsOther contestants are welcome to grab these cards.
Brand new stuff as of 11/9 (now with 100% more crazy):
Seriously though, I'm not worrying about play balance. Just pure concept. Feels tingly.
GARRUK, CORRUPTED (mythic)
+1: Return a creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
-2: Creatures opponents control get -1/-1 until EOT. Creatures you control get +1/+1 until EOT.
-5: Sacrifice THIS. If you do, search your library for a card named
Garruk Wildspeaker and put it OTB with an extra loyalty counter.
TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR (mythic)
+1: Lightning Bolt.
-X: THIS deals X damage to target c/p and to you.
-5: You get an emblem that says "At the beginning of your upkeep, you deal 5 damage to target c/p."
Whenever you add G to your mana pool, put a loyalty counter on THIS.
-X: Distribute X +1/+1 counters among any number of creatures.
-15: Gain 15 life. Put a 15/15 green Plant token OTB. Target creature gets +15/+15 until EOT.
JACE OF ALL (mythic)
+1: Until your next turn, you may cast cards in your hand as Cryptic Command.
THE UNKNOWN (mystic)
+2: Add 2 to your mana pool.
-1: Put a 2/2 colorless creature token OTB. (face-down? with morph?)
-7: Search your library for a card and cast it without paying its CMC.
DICK GARFIELD (mythic)
+1: Cards in your hand have Transmute 1.
+1: Whenever you cast a spell this turn, THIS deals damage to target c/p equal to its CMC.
+1: Discard your hand. Draw that many cards. Gain that much life.
FLAME ON (rare)
Add RRR to your mana pool.
Until EOT, cards in your hand are Shock.
ALSO COUNTERSPELL (unc)
Counter target spell.
If a spell is on the stack named THIS or Counterspell, THIS costs 0 to cast.
ALSO GIANT GROWTH (unc)
Target creature gets +3/+3 until EOT.
If a spell is on the stack named THIS or Giant Growth, THIS costs 0 to cast.
SPIDERS HAVE LOTS OF LEGS, YOU KNOW (cmn)
THIS can block any number of creatures with flying.
YET ANOTHER FLIP-O-WALKER (rare)
Whenever THIS deals damage to a player, put a loyalty counter on it.
R: Flip THIS.
YET ANOTHER FLIPPED-O-WALKER
+1: THIS deals 1 damage to target c/p.
-5: Put three 1/1 red Goblin creature token OTB.
Creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain haste until EOT.
BOLDWYR WALKER (rare)
Cowards can't block Warriors.
+1: Target creature is a Coward. Target creature is a Warrior.
-5: Gain control of all Cowards and Warriors until EOT. Untap them.
Creatures you control have haste until EOT.
Old or oldish stuff (including lots of planeswalkers):
Draw three cards. Skip your untap step, draw step and combat phase next turn.
BYOAura Guy (unc)
When THIS ETB, search your library for an aura card with CMC <= X and attach it to THIS.
WIND AND SEED (rare)
When THIS ETB and at your upkeep, choose one:
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature;
or double the number of +1/+1 counters on target creature.
PAST MISTAKES (common)
Counter target spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard.
SPIRIT OF THE HERD (unc)
Enchanted creature is 3/3.
Whenever a 1/1 creature ETB, if THIS is in your graveyard, you may attach THIS to it.
VILE RAGE (cmn)
Enchanted creature gets +3/+0.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage, THIS deals that much damage to its controller.
ANGEL OF GLORIES PAST (rare)
creature - Angel
When THIS EBT, attach each aura card in your graveyard to it.
enchantment - aura
Enchanted creature gets +3/+3.
Aurate-1G (If a permanent would ETB and THIS is in your hand, you may pay 1G.
If you do, that permanent ETB with THIS attached.)
enchantment - aura
Enchanted creature has shroud.
enchantment - aura
Enchanted creature gets -4/-4.
COMMUNION OF KNOWLEDGE (unc)
Each other player may discard two cards.
You and each player who discarded this way draws two cards.
THE COMMON PLAGUE (unc)
Creatures get -1/-1.
When there are on creatures on the battlefield, sacrifice THIS.
VESUVAN KNIGHT (rare)
creature - shapeshifter knight
Protection from cards with the same name as permanents you control or cards in your graveyard.
MERCIFUL SANCTUARY (rare)
You can't be attacked by any group of creatures with total power greater than your life total.
LIGHTNING INPIRATION (unc)
Discard a card at random. If you can't, THIS deals 3 damage to you.
Draw two cards.
FIRE MAN (rare)
Creature - human wizard
Whenever THIS deals combat damage, you may play a red instant or sorcery card from your graveyard
targeting only the creatures and players damaged this way.
If THIS is in your opening hand, you may pay 2 life and exile it and another card from your hand.
If you do, draw two cards.
T: Add 1.
Name a card. Target opponent may pay X Life. Reveal the top 6-X cards of your library
and put all cards with that name into your hand. Put the rest on bottom in any order.
GOBLIN CODEX (unc)
Draw a card.
Each player discards a card at random.
CRUEL PRANK (rare)
Name a card. Target player reveals his hand. Choose a nonland card from it. He discards that card.
If he discards the named card this way, he loses 2 life. Otherwise, you lose 4 life.
HASTY MANUEVER (cmn)
Add R to your mana pool. If you paid the kicker cost, add RRR instead and draw a card.
The next creature that ETB under your control this turn gains Haste until EOT.
TRINITY OF OAK (unc)
Choose one: Either put a 1/1 green Saproling creature token OTB;
or put a +1/+1 counter on a creature.
Choose twice more.
+2: Draw 2 cards. Discard 2 cards at random.
-1: Add RRR.
-5: Exile the top 3 cards of your library. Each card exiled
this way deals damage equal to its CMC to a target c/p.
+1: Draw a card. Lose 2 life.
+2: Discard a card. If you can't, lose 5 life.
-X: THIS deals X damage to target c/p. You gain X life.
Creatures you control with +1/+1 counters on them have trample.
+1: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
-X: Put a 1/1 green Saproling token OTB with X +1/+1 counters on it.
THIS deals 4 damage to each of X target c/ps.
EDRI OF LLANOWAR
Planeswalker - Edri
+1: Add one mana of any color.
-X: Put X 1/1 green Elf token creatures OTB. Creatures you control get +X/+X until EOT.
Planeswalker - Guy
Spells and abilities you control cost 2 more to target.
+1: Scry 2.
-4: Draw three cards.
IXID OF URBORG
Planeswalker - Ixid
+X: Lose X Life.
+1: Target player loses 1 life.
-4: Destory target non-black, non-artifact creature.
LAIA OF BENALIA
Planeswalker - Laia
+1: Gain 1 life.
-1: You gain protection from the color your choice until your next turn.
-5: You gain 20 life.
Whenever you play a creature, put a loyalty counter on THIS.
+1: Target creature gets +3/+3 until EOT.
-X: Search your library for a creature card with CMC X or less. Put it OTB. Shuffle.
Planeswalker - Gideon
Whenever you lose life, put that many loyalty counters on THIS.
-3: Each player sacrifices a creature.
-9: THIS permanently becomes a 9/9 Demon with flying and trample.
Creature - Zombie Bird
THIS ETB with three +1/+1 counters on it.
Whenever THIS would DIE, instead remove a +1/+1 counter from it.
AZUL, THE CORRUPTER
Legendary Creature - Human Horror
T: Destroy target non-black creature.
Its controller discards a card and loses 3 life.
Put a +1/+1 counter on THIS.
LUZA, THE NUTURER
Legendary Creature - Human Elemental
T: Another target creature gets +3/+3 until EOT.
Draw a card and gain 3 life.
Put a +1/+1 counter on THIS.
Put three 3/3 green Rhino token creatures OTB.
GARRUK GONE WILD 1GGG
+2: Target creature gets +3/+3 until EOT.
-X: Put a 1/1 green Saproling creature token OTB w/ X +1/+1 counters.
-4: You get a Muraganda Petroglyphs emblem.
VENSER, MASTER OF THE ETERNITIES 2 G/U G/U G/U
+2: Search for a permanent card and put it on top of your library.
+1: Put a permanent card with CMC <= the number of lands you control from your hand OTB.
-8: Cast your hand without paying any mana costs.
VENSER, PLANAR GUIDE (the early years) 2/U R/U R/U
+0: Clash with an opponent. If you win, draw a card. Otherwise, put a loyalty counter on THIS.
+2: Exile a permanent you control.
-X: Clash with an opponent. If you win, put X cards exiled by THIS OTB. Otherwise, put 1 OTB.