First off, let me just apologise for coming across as a bit of a tool. I was having something of a gakky day, and was taking it out over lunch, for which I'm genuinely sorry. And you're right, I didn't have the prep time I would have liked for a mod in general - however, with that in mind, I really didn't have the prep time needed to do heavy DME. In the end, though, if you boil away the vitriol, I think there are some key points left:
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1: Orrlarakh should be the end boss for the whole adventure regardless of AL, her daughter was a clumsy addition, and really doesn't work well. I should, and could, have DME'd her out, so leaving her in was my problem, but her being there in the first place, wasn't.
2: Melauthaur's dialogue at the end. It just doesn't make sense, and his goals in saying it aren't explained at all. They should be, or he shouldn't say it, because leaving the goals of what could well be a key figure in future adventures up to individual DMs, seems somewhat of a suspect idea.
3: The stuff Sven mentioned all applies for me as well, so I won't repeat it.
4: Generally clumsy writing - not telegraphing plot points early, or not using telegraphed plot points to good effect (fulfilling promises made to the players is vital in satisfying them, and, for instance, not having AL12/14 actually attack Orrlarrakh is bad form, so's not using the 4-headed monster, and including random Chuuls instead), introducing new NPCs instead of maintaining old ones, not giving the alternate Shadowkiss plotline anywhere near enough weight until right at the end etc etc etc, and frequently poor editing on spelling and grammar.
5: Another thing I just remembered, mostly because I prepped this part but didn't run it: the bottomless, save vs death chasm in the poison path: not cool.
For those intending to run the series, who have time to DME it, it could look something like this:
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Mod 1: arrive in Dusk Ports, see the festival, meet the Scions, they ask (and/or offer to pay, depending on the PCs, natch) the PCs to help train them, and to help them to defeat the evil tyrannical dragon leaders. This gets the PCs invested in staying, rather than forcing them to by the nebulously-unexplained means by which they can't just sail or portal away - LFR is always on-rails, because people know that if they refuse the mission, they go home and don't play. But it's important to give them the illusion of choice, and this mod didn't do a good job of that. Go through the training/prep montage as a group, rather than individually, it's just easier to run that way. During it, run one of the two alternative fights from the end - the Banderhobbs could come up in a sewer-based encounter, whilst the Tarandar encounter could fit into stealing some kind of necessary supplies for brewing the potions. Once this has happened, finalise arrangements for the escape from the city - make this to extract important higher-ups from the Scions because of fear of discovery after the fight during the SC. Also during the SC, introduce Zasheena as the shadowkiss agent, and set her up as an alternate source of help. Also, introduce Nandrel Gostur and his kidlet. During the escape, the Prince attacks the city in a feeding frenzy. Run that encounter basically as written (but which kid is Nandrel's, really should be specified), but don't have him unexplainably teleport away at the end. Instead, have Orrlarrakh informed of his death by some sort of connecting magic (there's a 3rd level magic arms slot item which would do the job perfectly), and arrive with an army of guards to collect his body for raising - way more than the PCs and Scions together could hope to defeat (more on this story later). At this point, the sidekicks transform into the PCs, and go to die holding off the guards so the rest can make good on the escape - the PCs can at that point try to save them, and make it obvious that they're not the ones who died, or leave them to die, in which case, they are thought dead (if they do go back, it gives them time only to see that the NPCs are dead, they're able to escape again trivially). Remove the mimic-is-Drogan thing entirely, save for being a monster in the banderhobb encounter - if captured, he babbles about his plan to infiltrate the Scions, but it is clear that he probably wouldn't have succeeded.
Mod 2: Open with a note about a wanted poster for them - dead or alive, after all, death is not the end in the Realms (thus, why they still have to be careful about people knowing who they are). Then, play more-or-less as written except: Zasheena is there, instead of the Gnome barmaid, and reflavour the Chuul encounter as a four-headed fire monster (I think it could probably be done with the four chuul as four independent monster heads, connected to a mostly static main body under the jungle - but add some sort of means of keeping them from just fleeing, although, I'm not too sure what offhand - or make a new encounter.) The city should be a city rather than just a guard post, and should be a more epic encounter, probably an SC coupled to a fight, or followed by a fight, during which they find loads and loads of amber, but can't retreive much, and it takes a lot to forge dragonbane weapons/make dragon poison. They retreive enough for one, and the area can then become a long term source of weaponry for the Scions.
Mod 3: Run more-or-less as written (taking into account the crits above, particularly about the weapon), but give the Prince only 2 heads in the Dragonslayer end fight (maybe scale in a 3rd for 6 PCs), due to his somewhat botched resurrection following his death in mod 1. If you use Melauthaur, have him command the crowd to attack the PCs, then fly off - the crowd should make a desultory attempt, to avoid death by dracolich, but stop once he's out of view. I'd also be inclined to give the PCs the ability to turn the crowd onto their side - instead of making panicked attacks, an SC could lead to them throwing things at the dragons instead, possibly only once the Duchess is bloodied - after all, the whole point of the fight is to bring the general public to the view that the dragons ARE defeatable, and instigate a revolution; it might as welll start there. I'm less sure about the poison path, but I imagine it should work in a similar way.
Throughout: have Ghedrinn and his ship introduced as the escape mechanism in the first mod. Have him provide transport to the jungle in the second. Have him provide transport around the Ports in the third. He and his ship are very cool, and I'd have loved to see more of him, so would my players. Cut out his 'agent of the Tarandar' backstory, probably.
Much of this shouldn't take much extra prep, since I've tried to suggest mostly using the original encounters, and a lot of the original characters - but keep the cast low, to give the PCs more time to invest in them.
Tom: I hope this is a little more help and a little less harsh than the first time round. I'm sorry about that.
