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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 6:06PM
#11
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Date Joined:
Jan 16, 2013
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Player attendance from a planning perspective only becomes really important if the DM is counting on certain characters being present due to a predetermined plot. "I planned to have a big scene between Mr. NPC and Ragnar. Ragnar's player can't make it to the game. I'm boned!" When the DM has a story to tell and story arcs based upon specific characters, if those characters aren't there due to PC death, change of character ("I'm bored with Ragnar..."), or player absenteeism, it can ruin a gaming session. Or, it could mean that encounters are scaled a certain way and too few players means that it will be too hard or fall flat due to having to strip out the bells and whistles. Does your game fall into these categories?
A location- or situation-based game without a predetermined plot does not suffer from this problem. Players can come and go and it doesn't really matter because you're creating the story as you play rather than before you play. Characters can be written in and out with no real issues. Of course, this is DMing advice more than player advice, but perhaps this gives you some perspective as to why your DM is stressing out over the issue. A change in style would alleviate this problem for the DM (along with a whole host of others issues). Again, assuming your DM falls into those categories. If he or she doesn't, then I'd struggle to imagine what the real problem is, except that it sounds very personal and not game-related.
I would recommend as others have that you speak to the DM as frankly as you have posted above. A direct, out-of-game conversation between two mature friends (I hope) is no substitute for advice given by a bunch of strangers on the forums. If your DM would like to learn how to structure his or her game prep so that player absenteeism really isn't an issue, feel free to direct said DM my way. I'm happy to help.
I think he mostly keeps the game in a free-flowing state just with a few ideas of where he might take the plot. On rare occasions he does have specific plans for certain characters though. Maybe I'll just talk to him and emphasize that I don't mind playing a character that isn't central to the plot, just a guy along for the ride.
I agree with you that if it isn't that then maybe something else was bothering him... I'm not really sure what it would be though since we still hang out fairly often in other situations.
In any case thanks for the advice, you at least gave me the confidence that there should be a way to do this that would work out for everyone. Hopefully he will be open to that.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 6:08PM
#12
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Yeah we can't play if someone cannot be there because there are only 4 of us including the DM.
As a matter of preference it may not be ideal, but it's very easy to DM for 1 or 2 players. Much like any party that is lacking in roles, you simply have to remember not to play as if you had those resources available. Now you have to sneak past the orcs rather than fight them. That can be just as engaging as a game with a full group, since not every problem need be solved with smashing.
But again, that'll come down to preference.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 6:09PM
#13
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Date Joined:
Aug 15, 2011
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@LolaBonne
Is that because you don't want people to miss out or because it is difficult to change the game to accomadate the missing person? I personally wouldn't mind if a game had to progress a bit without me and just have people fill me in later but I know some would be a little upset by that.
Some of the first, but more of the second.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 6:13PM
#14
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I think he mostly keeps the game in a free-flowing state just with a few ideas of where he might take the plot. On rare occasions he does have specific plans for certain characters though. Maybe I'll just talk to him and emphasize that I don't mind playing a character that isn't central to the plot, just a guy along for the ride.
I agree with you that if it isn't that then maybe something else was bothering him... I'm not really sure what it would be though since we still hang out fairly often in other situations.
In any case thanks for the advice, you at least gave me the confidence that there should be a way to do this that would work out for everyone. Hopefully he will be open to that.
That he has a plot in mind is part of the issue. This is a particular style of gaming and it can be problematic when it comes to player absenteeism as I mentioned above. It's akin to the director calling "Action!" and the important actors are nowhere to be found. It's frustrating and halts the game.
Now imagine if the game didn't have a plot at all and was just a location, say, a dungeon. Does it really matter who goes and explores that location from week to week? Probably not. While he may certainly want to game with his buddies in this dungeon, it's not strictly necessary and quite a bit easier to swallow than having to sideline a plot he's been imagining all week because somebody had a date.
That being said, it does sound like there is an unspoken objection coming from this DM. A direct conversation is definitely warranted.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 6:21PM
#15
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Date Joined:
Sep 30, 2006
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I think because he's a friend he doesn't feet as constrained to hold back as he might with someone who is more of a stranger. All you can do is tell him you are trying to make it and you are giving notice when you can't. Letting him know that an 8+ hour session is often more than you can fit into the schedule.
Planting the seed that shorter sessions might help the situation may bare bear fruit as he has time to think about it.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 7:11PM
#16
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Date Joined:
Dec 21, 2012
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Yeah we can't play if someone cannot be there because there are only 4 of us including the DM.
As a matter of preference it may not be ideal, but it's very easy to DM for 1 or 2 players. Much like any party that is lacking in roles, you simply have to remember not to play as if you had those resources available. Now you have to sneak past the orcs rather than fight them. That can be just as engaging as a game with a full group, since not every problem need be solved with smashing.
But again, that'll come down to preference.
We're a pretty combat-oriented group and in the past when someone in our group couldn't make it we'd have someone else play that sheet. Now said person doesn't have time to come and play so we do not include them but yeah I guess you could play with just two others but it would be less fun in my opinion. We just don't though because we don't have a set night we play. We talk about who is free when and then plan around that. But anyway, we never counted on that one that missed a lot because we knew when we let him play he would be on and off. Honestly, we wish we had another player.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 8:18PM
#17
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We're a pretty combat-oriented group and in the past when someone in our group couldn't make it we'd have someone else play that sheet. Now said person doesn't have time to come and play so we do not include them but yeah I guess you could play with just two others but it would be less fun in my opinion. We just don't though because we don't have a set night we play. We talk about who is free when and then plan around that. But anyway, we never counted on that one that missed a lot because we knew when we let him play he would be on and off. Honestly, we wish we had another player.
An online game might be a good fit for you. It increases your circles and it's frankly more convenient for many people to play that way as there is no need to drive anywhere.
My groups are very combat-oriented too (in addition to being in-character interaction oriented and shared storytelling oriented and...) and I've run a campaign with just 2 players for over a year, online to boot. It was great fun and we had epic battles every session. The game is very adaptable in that regard. Of course, that doesn't help if you just don't like games with small numbers of people. It is possible though and I found it quite nice in some regards because there was more spotlight time for each player.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 16, 2013 - 9:53PM
#18
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Gaming is for fun. But real live always comes first.
Kids, Significant others, family, work, etc these things comes first.
It sucks when a player misses a ton of games. But that is how things go.
Talk to him about the issue, he may have more to say than you. Try to listen to what your friend says. Then when they are done talk to them about your feelings.
When we play Dwarves caving in goblins skulls its hard to think about feeling and stuff. But communication is how pretty much everything works.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 17, 2013 - 8:00AM
#19
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Date Joined:
Jan 16, 2013
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I can totally understand where both you and your DM are coming from so I hope some of my insight might help.
I am currently involved in two games. One that I've been running where we meet based on everyone's schedule, mine included, and one that a friend of mine is running. The one that I run gets together about once a month depending on schedules. One of the major problems for this is that I travel a lot for my job. Sometimes I am gone for two months straight, so the game I run is infrequent, and even when I am home it is hard to match up everyones schedules so we often times will do the best we can and play missing one or two people from time to time.
As for understanding where your DM is coming from, many years ago before I understood that a strict plot line only works if you railroad your players, in which case it is a much less fun game for everyone, I always had a big plan for adventures. It became very difficult because I tried to include all my players characters into the plot. If someone didn't show it could end up making a lot of extra work for me, and it did seem like that person didn't care about the fact that it gave me problems. I've grown since then as a person and a DM and hopefully your friend will too.
As for your side, as I stated before I travel a lot. The group my friend runs meets about every two weeks. Typically on a Saturday and we play for over 8 hours. Now fortunately even when I'm out of the country my job is normally Monday through Friday so since I can't be there in person, my friend lets me Skype into the session. I call his computer and he aims his webcam at the game table so that I can see what's going on.
We've done this a couple times now and it has it's challenges, but for the most part it works wonderfully. He still gets to have all his players there and I don't miss out on the action. Don't know if this is a possibility for you but it is a suggestion.
If that doesn't work I agree with the others above that communication is the key to resolving the situation.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 17, 2013 - 8:17AM
#20
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It generally helps, and is a good idea, that if you can't make it to a game consistantly that you ensure that you are not playign a character who's role to the story or group is critical. Basically you need to assume a more minor role so that the group can handle your absense.
Second, you should ideally work with another player who can take over your character and run him for you when you are not there, with a basic outline of how you want him handled, ussually your character stays out of the limelight and does just support when the group needs him.
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