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5 months ago ::
Jan 17, 2013 - 12:10PM
#21
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... He has one every weekend and they generally last about 8+ hours. ... until recently I was playing maybe once every couple weeks and then he pulled me aside to tell me it was too much of a stress not to know if my character would be a consistent part of the campaign and that I had to either make a commitment to be there each week or not at all.
Sorry for the snippage, but those 2 lines cannot be stressed enough (it seems many of the previous posters had missed this.
Look at it this way:
if you show up and then miss the following 2-3 weeks and then show up again (rinse and repeat), you are effectively missing 60-75% of the sessions. And given how long the sessions are, you are basically missing 16-24 hours worth of game time in between the sessions when you show up.
This is COMPLETELY different from a person who misses the occasional session and should not be treated the same way.
So, from the DM point of view, i completely understand what he's saying: it would be easier if you weren't there.
But, there may be other solutions.
If showing up weekly is hard for you, then maybe recommend to him/the group that you switch to a biweekly schedule.
If the actual duration of the session is the real issue, then I see 2 options:
One is that you just show up late/leave early so you can still game and get your errands done.
The other option is to talk to him about revising the times or shortening the schedule.
FWIW, my group recently did the second, we used to 'play' from noon - 930 on sunday. People would show up at noon with food and start eating. We got to eat and socialize before the game. Then we started gaming around 1:30, took a dinner break from about 5:30 -7, and then played a few more hours. It was a good fun day, but hte hours became cumbersome, so we agreed to cut the hours down to 1-6, people eat on their own and show up at 1 ready to roll dice, and we don't take food breaks (we still have snacks, of course). Overall, we get about the same amount of gaming in, but we cut a 9 hour day into a 5 hour one.
One last thing though, i would still only recommend that you get the schedule switched if you can actually commit to the new schedule...
FWIW [4e designer] baseline assumption was that roughly 70% of your feats would be put towards combat effectiveness, parties would coordinate, and strikers would do 20/40/60 at-will damage+novas. If your party isn't doing that... well, you are below baseline, so yes, you need to optimize slightly to meet baseline.
-Alcestis
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5 months ago ::
Jan 17, 2013 - 1:01PM
#22
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Date Joined:
Jan 16, 2013
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First off, thanks so much for all the replies guys, I will definitely talk to my DM.
I know that switching the schedule will not be so much of an option in his eyes but hopefully asking to play more of a minor roll overall could work, or have someone else who is authorized to manage my character.
@Onikani
I can totally get where you are coming from for a game with a more structured plotline but as I've said my DM tends to keep it pretty open. What is the difficulty in having someone who only shows up some of the time if the DM knows that they don't need to work that character into the plot?
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5 months ago ::
Jan 17, 2013 - 1:12PM
#23
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Or, if you want to go in a completely different direction: maybe you could roll a new celestial character that the party only summons in case of emergencies, so that any session with you participating could start in media res one of those emergencies and your celestial happens to stick around for a while before being dismissed or something? It seemed like all of the less-out-there ideas had already been covered 
A character sheet is a player's love letter to the DM. If someone wants to do something and they want to do it well, let them. Encourage them. Have fun with it. -Unknown
An adventure is a DM's love letter to the players. If the DM wants something to happen in the game, let it. Encourage the DM. Have fun with it. -Centauri I'd love for input as to what it should be rather than arguments against why I shouldn't have it at all. -lialwyn Best defense that I've read in favor of having alignment systems as an option
Spoiler:
Show
However, if some people are heavily benefiting from the inclusion of alignment, then it would behoove those that AREN'T to listen up and pay attention to how those benefits are being created and enjoyed, no? -YagamiFire
But equally important would be for those who do enjoy those benefits to entertain the possibility that other people do not value those benefits equally or, possibly, do not see them as benefits in the first place. -wrecan
That makes sense. However, it is not fair to continually attack those that benefit for being, somehow, deviant for deriving enjoyment from something that you cannot. Instead, alignment is continually attacked...it is demonized...and those that use it are lumped in with it.
I think there is more merit in a situation where someone says "This doesn't work! It's broken!" and the reply is "Actually it works fine for me. Have you considered your approach might be causing it?" than a situation where someone says "I use this system and the way I use it works really well!" and the back and forth is "No! It is a broken bad system!" because the former posits that improvement could be made...the latter only undermines the enjoyment of the person who is using alignment. -YagamiFire
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5 months ago ::
Jan 17, 2013 - 1:25PM
#24
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I can totally get where you are coming from for a game with a more structured plotline but as I've said my DM tends to keep it pretty open. What is the difficulty in having someone who only shows up some of the time if the DM knows that they don't need to work that character into the plot?
There may be more of a plot there than you realize. I used to run plotted games and nobody ever knew it. (I don't do this anymore. Too much work plus nontransferable skills.)
Or, if you want to go in a completely different direction: maybe you could roll a new celestial character that the party only summons in case of emergencies, so that any session with you participating could start in media res one of those emergencies and your celestial happens to stick around for a while before being dismissed or something?
It seemed like all of the less-out-there ideas had already been covered
I like that idea. It requires the group to buy in, but I know I'd be up for it if it were suggested, if only for the promise of action every time you show up.
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5 months ago ::
Jan 18, 2013 - 11:08PM
#25
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Can be irking not have a char on a continued story, especially when last session ends in a dungeon. Then like figuring out why his missing suddenly can be confusing. We fixed this problem for our dm. We crawl into Handy Havor sack when not present. We crawl back out when we show up. Problem fixed. LOL
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5 months ago ::
Jan 18, 2013 - 11:10PM
#26
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Date Joined:
Aug 15, 2011
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Can be irking not have a char on a continued story, especially when last session ends in a dungeon. Then like figuring out why his missing suddenly can be confusing. We fixed this problem for our dm. We crawl into Handy Havor sack when not present. We crawl back out when we show up. Problem fixed. LOL
Maybe you should just use Pokeballs.
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5 months ago ::
Jan 18, 2013 - 11:34PM
#27
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Try crawling out of a handy sack in middle of an encounter. Its not easy you know. Damn pc's sometimes unstrab bag and throw you into middle of mobs. When u crawl out, take a beating. Bastards.
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5 months ago ::
Jan 21, 2013 - 8:31AM
#28
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It isn't always a matter of your character being there or not effecting the plot, but that of the DM's preperation.
Adding a character to an encounter will make it too easy, taking a character away will make it too hard, and the DM preparing these encounters in advance will be understandably frustrated when he has to change encounters on the fly, or be unable to properly prepare in advance, to account for the added or missing PC.
If you are going to be there or not is somethign the DM needs to know in advance. If you commit to be there and at the last minute are calling to say you can't make it, then the DM will be understandably frustrated, (and the same if you show when they weren't expecting you)
Being able to say in advance if you will be able to make it or not would go along way to reduce the DM's frustration as he can prepare accordingly.
The second solution is to see if someone in the party is able to play your character in your absence, so that he doesn't leave the group. This would minimize your absence and not need to be accounted for in the plot.
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 3:58PM
#29
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Date Joined:
Mar 28, 2004
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The guy is a great friend and we hang out at least weekly but I don't always have time to make it to his games. He has one every weekend and they generally last about 8+ hours. I love playing but the games are long and I pretty much need to have my whole day free in order to attend. So until recently I was playing maybe once every couple weeks and then he pulled me aside to tell me it was too much of a stress not to know if my character would be a consistent part of the campaign and that I had to either make a commitment to be there each week or not at all.
I was honestly kindof surprised, I know that I am the one that misses the most games out of all the people in the group (usually around 5 of us) but other people seem to miss some here and there and it never hindered the game, we just went along without them.
Is this a common thing for DM's to feel? I've never been one myself so I guess I don't understand why it's so stressful.
It seems like he could just allow me to play a more generic character who doesn't matter too much to the story and it should be all fine and dandy.
I guess I'm just wondering if he's being a little unreasonable about it or if I was actually putting stress on the game. I'd still like to play when I'm available if possible so any advice would be much appreciated.
1. If you agreed to be part of the group, you do have a obligation to meet them on most occasion.
2. You have a life, so does the rest of them, and they make the time.
3. Missing one or two once in a while is acceptable, we all have lives that is important.
4. If the storyline depends heavily on everyone, the whole group suffers as a while.
5. The GM is in his right to ask you if you will meet more often.
Based on your response, it is his right (and the group if he will include a group vote) to keep you as an occasional member or boot you out.
It is not personal.
6. It would be better to think of the group's well being and tell them that you cannot meet and have them find a new player in your place. That way you are putting them in front and they wil respect you more so for being a great friend.
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5 months ago ::
Feb 08, 2013 - 3:53PM
#30
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Date Joined:
Jun 20, 2012
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Play a wizard. Teleport in when you can play. Teleport out at the end of every session. Tell everyone 'There are questions. Questions that need answering."
My best advice would be to show up a little early on the days you CAN play, so you can work out with the DM how to get you back in the game.
Drop a text when you can't play to let him know what you might do.
At any rate, the DM shouldn't be mad, just frustrated... unless you tell him you'll be showing and don't show up.
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller.
WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells?
DM: Awesome. Yes.
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