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5 months ago ::
Jan 12, 2013 - 7:02PM
#41
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Date Joined:
Sep 25, 2005
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My guess is that they choose not to respond in a like manner. 
"Today's headlines and history's judgment are rarely the same. If you are too attentive to the former, you will most certainly not do the hard work of securing the latter." -Condoleezza Rice
"My fellow Americans... I've just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. Bombing begins in five minutes." - Ronald Reagan
This user has been brought to you by the letters "O-R-C" and the numbers "2, 3, 4, and 6"
Resident Pithed-Off Dragon
Buttler of the House of Trolls
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5 months ago ::
Jan 12, 2013 - 8:07PM
#42
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Date Joined:
May 26, 2001
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You forget you left your dog at home, but you keep it fed by casting a lot of sending spells every day.
You also train it to salivate constantly in anticipation of random cookies appearing out of midair with no warning.
The kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance. - Good Omens
Co-Author of the Dreamfane, Euralden Eye, Gajuisan Crawler, Gruesome Lurker, Fulminating Crab, Ironglass Rose, Sheengrass Swarm, Spryjack, Usunag, and Warp Drifter, and author of the Magmal Horror from Force of Nature.
= My most popular campaign item; for all your adventuring convenience.
Show
Zauber's Mutable Rod: This rod has a number of useful functions that make it easier to live in the wilderness. It is made of polished wood, with five studlike buttons on one end. Each button produces a different effect when pressed. Unless otherwise noted, the rod’s functions have no limit on the number of times they can be employed.
• When button 1 is pressed, one end of the rod produces a small flame, equivalent to a candle.
• When button 2 is pressed, the rod unfolds into a two-person tent, complete with bedrolls and warm blankets.
• When button 3 is pressed, the rod becomes a one-handed hammer, suitable for pounding pitons into a wall.
• When button 4 is pressed, the rod becomes a sturdy iron spade.
• When button 5 is pressed, the rod becomes a wooden bucket able to hold 2 gallons of liquid. Once per day, it can be commanded to fill with fresh water.
If the rod is seriously damaged or broken in any of its alternate forms (button 2, 3, 4, or 5), it reverts to its basic rod form and cannot be activated for 24 hours.
Moderate conjuration; CL 9th; Craft Rod, minor creation; Price 375 gp; Weight 2 lb.
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5 months ago ::
Jan 13, 2013 - 3:49AM
#43
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Hmmm, I'm not sure the fortune cookie route suits my needs, and certainly doesn't suit the needs of my players. I can see it now, their warmage friend is bound and gagged on the floor of a damp dungeon cell. A fortune cookie pops into existence on the floor before his eyes. He knows someone is trying to communicate with him but has no way of reaching it. He begins to squirm, inching his way closer and closer, trying to be as silent as possible. The pain in his broken fingers throbs with every movement and he can't help but to groan in release.
"Quiet in their, mate," warns the guard stationed just around the corner as he comes by to see what the commotion is. "Oh, what have you here now, friend? A fortune cookie? Where did you get this?" The guard reaches down and picks up the errant confection, popping it into his mouth and crunching heartily, swallowing the treat paper and all. "The boss wouldn't abide by you having such things, now would he? I just saved your life I did."
A single tear clears a path through the muck covering the warmage's face before becoming indistinguishable on the cell's moist floor.
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5 months ago ::
Jan 13, 2013 - 8:16AM
#44
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Date Joined:
Sep 25, 2005
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And then the warmage flies into a berserk rage, because COOKIE!!! Before the astonished guard's eyes, the once-helpless prisoner begins to... change. The bonds break as he increases in size, and his skin changes hue in the dim light of the dungeon to... Wait, no. His skin is the same color, but he has sprouted blue fur! Realizing that in this bizarre new form, manual dexterity is no longer necessary*, the warmage blasts his way to freedom, with the last word many of his captors hear being "Cookie! Nomnomnom!"
*Seriously, did you ever notice how uncoordinated CM's hands were when he grabbed a plate of cookies?
"Today's headlines and history's judgment are rarely the same. If you are too attentive to the former, you will most certainly not do the hard work of securing the latter." -Condoleezza Rice
"My fellow Americans... I've just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. Bombing begins in five minutes." - Ronald Reagan
This user has been brought to you by the letters "O-R-C" and the numbers "2, 3, 4, and 6"
Resident Pithed-Off Dragon
Buttler of the House of Trolls
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