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I'm playing a cleric/bard in a D&D 4e campaign. During the last 3 sessions, I have felt the wrath of certain dark forces at work trying to sabotage me and my party.

During the last 3 gaming sessions I have failed on about 80%, no, seriously, of my dice rolls (thank god for not having to roll for heal powers!). I have 3 sets of dice, 2 orange and a red. No matter what order or combination of dice rolling between the different colors of dice, they all turn up with dismal results.

Evidence:

After being blinded in the opening rounds of the major encounter with the big bad boss of death and her minions, I get blinded. I then proceed to roll saves each round to get unblinded. All I need to roll is a 10 or higher. I fail 8 straight save rolls, they aren't even close to 10. I remain blinded the whole fight and a little bit afterwards...

We fight about 2-3 battles per session and I use Hymn of Resurgence and Moment of Glory as my big saving graces to debuff the big bads and give my guys some defense. Well thank god for the automatic buffing from those powers because when I roll attack rolls for these, I usually make sure that the big bad and some significant baddies are hit by it, and when it comes time for the dice attack roll on them it's usually ends up being a 1 to 5 on the dice and sometimes I actually hit ONE and of course it's never the big guy ;( Seriously, I have a decent attack modifier but the dice say "I roll a 3, thank you, have a nice day"

Last session I had to make endurance rolls and although all I needed to roll was a 5 or more I failed 2 of the 3, thus losing some healing surges. Then at the all important adventure turning point to secure an alliance with NPCs, I roll a 5 on my diplomacy thank god for my tons of bonuses and barely squeak by, then after our barbarian accidently killed one of the NPCs in a non lethal test of combat I try to save her by applying my heal skills, I have +11 so no prob right? I roll a 1 and she dies...

Obviously my GM has concocted some sinister evil ritual of hexing on my dice.


How do I remove this baneful crippling affliction??!!


Do I need to cleanse the dice in flames? Or is the only option to "fix" them with the blessed hammer of smashy?


Please help!

Aug 30, 2012 -- 6:03PM, Dansun wrote:

How do I remove this baneful crippling affliction??!! 

Do I need to cleanse the dice in flames? Or is the only option to "fix" them with the blessed hammer of smashy?


Please help!

I know it's tempting, but resist the urge to cleanse your dice in flames or smash them with a hammer. The unruly spirits no doubt housed within your dice are immune to fire and force, and once the physical die is ruined, they will be free to haunt your next set of dice.  Thus the curse will remain with you, and even cost you precious pizza money.  The best way to resolve this situation is by disciplining the spirits housed within your dice.  Speak to the dice loudly and firmly, telling them that you are the master, not they, and that you are tired of their chicanery.  If they persist, put them on a time-out(the freezer works well for this).  If you must, threaten to purchase new dice and leave the unruly ones on the shelf where they can only watch.  Stress that their only way of getting back into the game is to shape up and begin acting like productive polyhedrals.  

If they persist in this behavior despite trying everything I outlined here, purchase new dice, but save the cursed ones.  Later, you can gift them to a rival or annoying younger sibling.  When you have the new dice, before letting any other players see them, take them to a catholic church and dip them in the holy water(try not to let the priests see you, they often misunderstand).  You may also beseech one of the Saints to watch over your gaming and aid you if they can.