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So I watched eXistenZ yesterday for the first time ever.  Terrible.  Really, really bad.  And the guide thingy said it was a three star deal.  Blow was on at the same time on a different channel.  It's rating? Two and a half stars.  Whoever decides what ratings to give on the channel guide needs to lay off the rock.

Meh, I don't wanna.  It was that terrible.  Like, awful dialogue, terrible pacing and a pathetic story.  Srsly, it's like Inception but worse.  And that's something.

Nuh uh! 

Srsly, it's bad.  And so was Inception.

Meh, I thought it was stupid.  Tried too hard.  'A dream within a dream within a dream within a' you.  Who cares anymore?  Like, it's really, really lame to make some 'mind bending' movie like that.  Of course it's mind bending - they wrote it to be unintelligible!    There's no talent in that.  None at all.  Try giving us a story that makes sense that's still confusing.  That's talent.  Inception was just bad writing praised as good cuz people are too stupid to understand that it's not all that terribly hard to confuse them when the story was written to not make any sense on purpose.  There was no guile to it at all.  It's just a series of stuff that doesn't make sense that they pretend to explain a little for a little while and then once they get close to shedding any light on it, they just add something else that doesn't make sense to it to recapture that 'whoa' feeling.  It's fake.  It's cheap. 

If I tell you that the red dog barks at the moon, you'll not understand why the dog is red or why it's barking unless I give you some sort of real clue.  And by 'real' I mean a clue that makes sense and that holds up through the entire rest of the story.  If I don't do that it doesn't mean that I'm talented because I confused you, it means I'm a lazy hack.  And if I go all M Knight on ya like they did with Inception, it means I'm a hack who doesn't understand what a hack is and is madly in love with himself.  And that's Inception.  A hack's wet dream about himself.