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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 8:00AM
#1
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So there I am, watching my group bicker (in character) about how to get into the Temple of Akargon to retrieve the Rod of Improbability that's rumored to be there. The little one (she's 7), comes in from the next room, taps on one of my player's shoulder to get his attention, and says "I've got the key I can sell you."
Now, most groups would probably drop out of "game mode" at this point, humor her, and get back to playing. I don't play with most groups.
The player says to her (still in character) "What do you want for it?"
"Five thousand gold" she replies, "and an ice cream cone."
"An ice cream cone?! What's that? More to the point, where do I find one."
"There's an ice cream store over near the school, but they're closed now."
"What if I just give you six thousand gold instead?"
"Okay, six thousand gold...and an ice cream cone."
"No. No. I meant six thousand gold and no ice cream."
"No ice cream, no key." she says with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.
"I'm not sure it's worth it. We could just kick the door down."
"If you don't have the key, the guards will kill you. They're really tough. You'll never get to the door to kick it."
"According to our sources, there are no guards. Besides, a few soldiers shouldn't be much of a problem."
"They're statues that come to life if you don't have the key." [note: this is news to me]
"We can handle a couple statues if we have to."
"There's a thousand of them."
Another player chimes in (also in character). "If she's even half-right, we're going to need that key. I say we get her her ice cream. We're wasting time."
First player: "Okay, little one, we'll get you some ice cream. How do we find you when we've got it?"
"I live here, silly. I'll be in my room." She says, and heads off. [another note: the characters were having this conversation in a burned out ruin in the middle of a barren wasteland]
The characters head off on a quest for ice cream (minus one player, who went to the store to buy ice cream and cones).
Just thought I'd share.
Boraxe wrote: "Knowledge of the rules and creativity are great attributes for a DM, but knowing when to cut loose and when to hold back, when to follow the rules and when to discard them, in order to enhance the enjoyment of the game is the most important DM skill of all." Keeper of the Sacred Kitty Bowl of the House of Trolls. Resident Kitteh-napper. FToLI
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 8:13AM
#2
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Good share. 
Old School: It ain't what you play - it's how you play it.
My 1E Project:
http://home.earthlink.net/~duanevp/dnd/Building%20D&D/buildingdnd.htm
"Who says I can't?"
"The man in the funny hat..."
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 8:29AM
#3
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Clearly, it is your 7-year-old daughter who should be DMing this campaign. I mean you didn't even know about the statues! For shame! 
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 9:01AM
#4
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Well, I didn't know about the key either. I'm a baaaaaad DM. 
Boraxe wrote: "Knowledge of the rules and creativity are great attributes for a DM, but knowing when to cut loose and when to hold back, when to follow the rules and when to discard them, in order to enhance the enjoyment of the game is the most important DM skill of all." Keeper of the Sacred Kitty Bowl of the House of Trolls. Resident Kitteh-napper. FToLI
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 9:13AM
#5
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Date Joined:
Mar 15, 2008
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*slow clap* I...I mean...you....everybody involved needs some serious RP rewards for that. That...that was just awesome.
"Not only are you wrong, but I even created an Excel spreadsheet to show you how wrong you are." --James Wyatt, May 2006
Dilige, et quod vis fac
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 10:05AM
#6
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Date Joined:
Nov 27, 2005
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*slow clap*
I...I mean...you....everybody involved needs some serious RP rewards for that. That...that was just awesome.
Bronies unite."I'd call you a genius, but I'm in the room." Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
Show
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now.
O' Jesus
Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle.
Amen.
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again?
Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster...
Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil.
And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
I don't say this often, but ...
LOL
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears  would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic  , giving you time to set up your silly  combo  . Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills 
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
Uktabi Orangutan  What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
Spoiler:
Show
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct.
You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_...
Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively.
If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right?
Right.
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
 
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players.
And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it.
He/It got me with Light of Sanction  , which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum  exists).
+10 
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 10:28AM
#7
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Date Joined:
Mar 22, 2005
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3rd ed SRD, character sheets, errata & free modules4th ed test drive - modules, starter rules, premade characters and character builder & character sheet, errata Free maps and portraits, dice, printable graph paper, campaign managing website, image manipulation program + token maker & zone markers"All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR **** LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! Make life RUE the day it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!" -Cave Johnson, Portal 2
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 10:53AM
#8
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Date Joined:
Oct 24, 2001
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I loved it! And nothing I could say or do will top the slow clap repeat video gif.
Here are the PHB essentia, in my opinion: - Three Basic Rules (p 11)
- Power Types and Usage (p 54)
- Skills (p178-179)
- Feats (p 192)
- Rest and Recovery (p 263)
- All of Chapter 9 [Combat] (p 264-295)
A player needs to read the sections for building his or her character -- race, class, powers, feats, equipment, etc. But those are PC-specific. The above list is for everyone, regardless of the race or class or build or concept they are playing.
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 11:16AM
#9
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Date Joined:
Mar 22, 2005
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yeah, it's stories like this that make me keep my account here, edition wars (and my inability to not partake in them) be damned.
this board is definitely lacking in the "future gamers being cute" type of stories.
if i ever manage to find a lady-type willing to bare my offspring i really hope to post a story like this one day.
3rd ed SRD, character sheets, errata & free modules4th ed test drive - modules, starter rules, premade characters and character builder & character sheet, errata Free maps and portraits, dice, printable graph paper, campaign managing website, image manipulation program + token maker & zone markers"All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR **** LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! Make life RUE the day it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!" -Cave Johnson, Portal 2
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12 months ago ::
Jun 26, 2011 - 7:24PM
#10
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That is an amazing story, as everyone else had said there is nothing more I can add.
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