I have been having some thoughts about a humor-based campaign. I have contributed to other threads on this subject,but they tend to die out over time. I would like to add elements from ; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Myth Inc Series , Sabrina the Teenage Witch , Keystone kops , Star Wars , Spaceballs , Star Trek , StarWreck , Austin Powers Series , the Untouchables ,3 Stooges , the Olsen Twins(mary-kate and ashley) ,Stormwrack , LAVERNE + SHIRLY , Vlad the Impaler , KING KONG ,FAY WRAY , FUTURAMA , Louis Mcmaster Bujold , quaddies , mood rings , smiley faces , solar powered satellites(SPS) , Bambi , Keebler Elves , Amazonia by rollins , Pilsbury dough co. , Famous Amos , The Lorax , Ray Romano , Cookie monster , Dracula , Radu the Pretty , Hammer Films , Faberge Eggs , The Gorgon , goose that laid the golden eggs , Creature from the Black Lagoon, Big Rock Candy Mountain , Uncle Sam , Iron Horses , peter sellers , Pink Panther , Mission Impossible ,Jeff Dunham , achmed the dead terrorist , skeletor , He-man and Masters of the Universe , Mayor Koch , SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, PHIL HARTMAN , 21 JUMP STREET , RICHARD GREICO , HOLLY ROBINSON , WKRP In Cincinati, Rosemary's Baby, ALLY MCBEAL , Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law , The She Hulk , SMURFS , BAST , SOBEK , CATWOMAN , HALLE BERRY , SMURFETTE , Deliverance,the movie ,
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Origin of New Orc. On an alternate earth an orc nation was defeated and the survivors scattered. Some sailed in viking style long ships and settled in Manhatten. Humans tracked them and conguered the new colony. The colony was called New Orcland or New Orc's Land and Novo Orcia,humans called it the the New Orc City. More creatures followed and New Orc City became the site of 13 colonies. Edit :as suggested by rustam, New Orc was the first of thirteen colonies.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
Dwarves-Mainly useful as a sort of foil. Every dwarf is at heart a lawful good paladin. Hard working and dour,clan oriented ,short and broad,prone to going nutty with an axe? Perhaps give them access to warpigs? Nothing humanizes a character like a pet or mount. A motorcycle with a boarshead design could be interesting as well. Mac coppersShow
Now what a city like New Orc needs is honest cops. Imagine if a clan of 400 dwarves moved from the scottish highlands to New Orc. They change their names from Raging Boars to Mac Coppers. They still use many scottish names and speak with a thick scottish accent. They still wear kilts,play bagpipes and play golf. Have a ceremonial unit that rides warpigs. Many were members of a british unit called SQUAT. Specially Qualified Underground Attack Troops serve Britain as guards for mining companies overseas and take on things that dwell in the depthes of the Earth,Dragons,devils,goblins,etc. An elderly dwarf often has trophies from the the good old days.
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4 feet tall and 600 lbs. Red hair and blue eyes. Based off the Austin Powers villain. Has an overweight warpig he rides on. He and "Pigasus" have eating contests. Phat's hobbies include golf,bagpipes and bribery. Under almost constant attention from IA.
Based off Sean Connery's character from the Untouchables. Almost 300 years old and near retirement. Lives in a small apartment in the Bachelor Hill section of the dwarven ghetto. Carries a light mace in addition to service revolver. Mace has a Raging Boar as it's head.
A female dwarf who came to the US shortly after the Civil War as a mail order bride. Has had two Muls, Half human/half dwarf children. Speaks russian,dwarvish and english. Skilled mechanic. Hobbies include bench -pressing harleys,drinking,cigar-smoking and flirting with guys who are 6 foot or taller. Mike the mechanic is a play on the band ,Mike and the Mechanics. Mike looks like a 4 foot tall version of Bridgette Nielson.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
Do more Heads equal more humor? Now in 2 Ed D+D we had Reaper minatures producing a three-headed ettin that looked like larry,moe and curly. In Savage Species we were given a Multi-headed template. This meant that many creatures could be made two-headed. So,add a head to a human being,he gains 2hd ,+2AC,each head controls one arm,free Multiweapon,no surprising. So, a two headed human could be twins like the Olson Twins. Would a two -headed human do advertising for the Doublemint Gum Co.? Suppose a husband and wife were turned into a two-headed beast, would they be hermaphrodites? Decency and the code of conduct forbid me from commenting on their love life. Would it be comedic to force two players who fight to play a two headed version of themselves? Could a team of 5-12 players play a hydra or naga-hydra? Each player could control a head and for a naga -hydra cast spells from a spell pool. The chaos from a large team trying to work a single monster would be educational. Just a few thoughts.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
MERMAIDS. A fine addition to any non-desert enviroment. New Orc should be about 1% mermaid and possess an aquatic district a mile or two out in the harbor. FINS TO FEETShow
In Stormwrack there was a spell Fins to Feet,this allows an aquatic creature like a Mermaid to trade her tail for legs. I would like the god Poseiden to grant this as an racial ability to all mermaids
A ll mermaids are born knowing Poseidens speech,an archaic form of greek that is only 50% understandable to a modern greek. Mermaids often converse in this langauge,though only a preistees bothers to write it.
All mermaids are born knowing how to use the Trident. This is a racial ability granted by Poseiden. Greater Mermaids(Q.V.) use a 2 headed version. In New Orc a Mermaid can carry a Trident because it's not classified as a weapon,it's officially a piece of fishing equipement and a mermaid is allowed to carry the tools of her trade.
In human form most Mermaids are around 6'6" and weigh about 400 lbs. Most Mermaids have a very muscular and voluptous build. All normal mermaids have red hair,green eyes and a peaches and cream complexion. With a tail on many mermaids are 8 feet long.
Basically a Gust of Wind Spell modified into a breath weapon. A mermaid will get angry or upset. She will be to huff and puff till her chest is four times it's normal size,bursting free of her upperbody garments. The mermaid will then release her breath like a small tornado. I gotta ask you,whats more impressive than a mermaids Mighty Breath? For humor purposes this should happen to Pcs who date and act dis-respectful to a mermaid. A mugger could be dealt with by trident or Mighty Breath,a pc offers to help and gets blown away. An apartment would have pets blown up onto a ceiling fan,windows blown out and people going to the hospital for bruising? This would be the my girlfreind does'nt know her own strength gag?
Because mermaids have no Nudity Taboo and a casual attitude towards sex they're very popular in Hollywood. A sit-com or a soap will often have a Mermaid cast member because Mermaids have a similar look,makes it easy to replace a mermaid even in mid-season. The main problem with Mermaids is that at 6'6" they tend to be taller than most leading men.
Mermaids like small aquatic themed tattoos;fish,anchors,octopi,waves,schooners,mermaids,poseiden,etc. They also have peircings. Because mermaids have a very similar look they often feel the urge for a mark that lets Dry landers tell them apart.
Mermaids part tres- Some thoughts on mermaid love. Mermaids live to be about 40 and reach adulthood at age 4. A 4 year old being lacks the world experiance needed for a complex and meaningful relationship. Most early relationships for mermaids are probably one night stands. By age five though a mermaid begins to want a child. Since all memaids are female the only way they can reproduce is with a human male who's been magically transformed. THE BRINY KISSShow
Also known as the sweet and salty taste of mermaid love. A suitable male is led for a late afternoon swim. The mermaid kisses the male at sunset. As the sun sinks below the horizon the male grows a tail and becomes amphibous. The transformation into merman lasts only untill sunrise. the mermaid leads the newly created merman to her egg chamber. She lays an egg in her egg basket,a device that warms and aereates the egg. The merman is encouraged to deposit silt on the egg. Upon doing this function the male will be led to the surface,he is transformed back to human by the suns early light.
Mermaids usually don't feel much jealousy. Shortly before egg-laying though a female may be prone to fits of rage,see Mighty Breath.
After egg-laying a mermaid tends to lose interest in her partner. When a mermaid reaches age four and can walk on land they occasionally seek out their fathers. This could be an amusing thing to spring on a pc who acts like a Lothario.
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MERMAIDS PART QUARTO-Some further errata on Mermaids,neatly sblocked for your veiwing pleasure. ALGAE BRAShow
A bra that is made from magical algae. Is constantly moist and is comfortable for mermaids who work as cooks or in hot,dry areas. Kept in a pail when not in use.
A somewhat mythical race. Golden hair and tails. Twice the size of normal mermaids. Use a two-headed trident in combat. Have Mighty Breath and an Earthquake ability. Speak only Poseiden's Speech. Hostile to humans since the time of the Great Hunting(Q.V.). Possess a magical tuning fork that can vibrate the ice caps to pieces ,causing world-wide flooding,left over from Atlantis?
6 inch tall mermaids. Have a Briny Kiss they use to rescue shipwreck victims. Lawful and Good in their allegiance to Poseiden. Spellcasting ability plus tiny spearguns. Travel in a "Congress"of about three hundred members. Rarely seen.
A topless resturaunt run by mermaids. Serves sushi ,usually a haddock and spinach wrap,sometimes a cod wrapped in kale. Owned by a great grandmother mermaid named Neptuna. Cooks wear Algae Bras(Q.V.). A large glass tank serves as a childcare facility for young mermaids. Adults on break often dive in nude and switch from Feet to Fins while bar patrons watch from inside of the resturaunt. The wall decorations features huge blowfish and koi up to a metre long. A hangout for Groupers(Q.V.) and fishermen. Popular with japanese businessmen and a possible yakusa hangout.
A slang term for guys who hang around with mermaids all the time. Often get tattos of mermaids. Some rich Groupers have built small ponds and lakes and kept mermaids in a sort of harem. Often treated with a sort of contempt by evil or nasty mermaids.
Most mermaids have an allegiance to the mermaid race. Many have an allegiance to Poseiden. Many have an allegiance to Chaos. Many will lean to Good or Evil,the split is about 4-1 in favor of Good. Some will take an allegiance to the Ocean itself.
In New Orc City the city council has dictated that all young mermaids must attend the Kinderaquarium between the ages of 2-4. This school has plastic books,desks that are combination hot tubs and desks, and buses with waterproof seats. Between the ages of 2-4 most mermaids are fast learners,absorbing what a human child takes 12 years to absorb.
About 2 miles out in New Orc harbor there is a stone spiral the mermaids have been working on for about 200 years. This looks like a snails shell? Holds 10,000 to 30,000 mermaids at night, half empty during the day except for mermaids under 1 year old or over 36 years old. Lighting is by Continual Flame spells. Spiral grows steadily every year,just like a snails shell.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
