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2 years ago ::
Apr 02, 2011 - 8:29PM
#21
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Some additional thoughts on "HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES". I would like to introduce a pc contact, a young and funny Keebler Elf,some one to help the Pc during this adventure and be a contact latter in the campaign. Cookie of the New Orc City Keeblers
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Young and pretty blond tallfellow halfling. A font of knowledge and spends a lot of time explaining stuff to the pcs. Owns a magical wand. Wand has a white shaft and what looks like a chocalate chip cookie on the end. Cookie can create any normal cookie she's ever seen if she makes a successful will check. Wand does not have charges. As part of adventure the cookie monster might kidnap Cookie and force her to produce one cookie after another? How many cookies can Cookie produce using the Cookie Wand at the behest of the Cookie Monster? Role-playing the Cookie Monster
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In order for this adventure to work the Dm must commit to role-playing ,not rollplaying the Cookie Monster. Therefore I suggest a rigerous training schedule. First shout out "COOKIES" with joyful abandon. Then see how many cookies you can stuff in your mouth. When your mouth is full munch in a vigerous fashion without fear of spillage. Then say "COOKIES" in a most satisfied fashion. Do this in front of a mirror once a day for weeks till you have it down pat. Now you're Dming with style.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 03, 2011 - 12:17PM
#22
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Another mixed-up adventure from the febrile brain of taradusis. "All We Are Is Dust In The Wind." This is a game of keep-a-way where the pcs are hired to transport a magic bottle containing the dusty remains of a master vampire. Vlad the Impalers Kid Brother
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Now most vampire fans know that the Dracula myth is based off the real life Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was sent as a child to live under the turks who had conquered Romania. What they don't know is that his younger brother Radu The Pretty was sent also. The turks in order to make puppet rulers would torture and abuse these boys. Vlad became stoic and hate-filled under the abuse,Radu the Pretty learned to enjoy the abuse. A common ploy was to slice open the chest and sip the young boys blood,this later became part of the vampire mythology. Both Vlad and Radu joined the Brotherhood of The Wolf,rumored to be werewolves. After being killed by other nobles both Radu and Vlad arose ,with Vlad asssuming the Dracula persona and mystique. Radu became a pretty yet dangerous fool. Radu wears a turban with a large ruby and a huge ostrich plume. Radu wears slippers that curl up and have tiny bells at the tip. Radu has long scarves that hang out of his sleeves and attempts to wave his arms about in an artful fashion. Radu has eyelashes that are almost 2 inches long and claims to have eyes that are prettier than a she- goats. Radu tends to demand that male Pcs compliment him. Radu tells female pcs to shut up or he'll eat their hearts. CHERUBS OF DEATH
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Radu the Pretty likes to convert 3-8 year old boys to vampires. They are given bows and cloaks that look like batwings. A faction that wants to save Radu the Pretty. THE DRAC PACK
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A group of Draculas followers who want the bottle as a gift for dracula. RED MOON VAMPIRES
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A faction controlled by Draculas daughter Lillith. Hate Radu for how he treated Lillith. This faction attempts to destroy the earth every red moon. Wear red clothing and have a button designed to look like a red moon. HAN SOLO THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE HUNTER.
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A future society bred aggresive instincts out of themselves. In this future humans are surrounded by a floating cloud of nano bots that provide for your every need. An alien race shows up and has a bio-electric field that destroys the nano-bots,allowing their warriors to close in and kill the humans bare-handed. The science council of this alternate future uses clones of actors like Harrison Ford and Arnold Swartzenegger,with an artificial personality overlay to defend the Earth. so the future is filled with millions of Han Solos and Terminaters. One Han Solo was being teleported and a mishap caused him to be sent back in time rather than thru space. Han solo has an Uv laser pistol that is really effective against vamps. After a meeting with Harrison Ford,this Han Solo took up a career of Vampire Hunting. Shows up to rescue pcs when things go horribly wrong. Crazed Collecters
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If it can be collected someone will. If it is morbid and rare then the price for this collectable is in the millions. A rich turk who is a druglord might want this dust from it's connection to the Ottoman Empire? When the government hires the pcs to take this dust to the Hexagon,a supernatural holding facility,tell them as little as possible. Since most Pcs hate Dm exposition this shouldn't be hard. The Cherubs of Death should end up with the bottle and ressurect Radu the Pretty. the Party should be given anti-vampire goodies and a chance to make this right after loosing the dust bottle.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 03, 2011 - 7:49PM
#23
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All We Are Is Dust In The Wind, cont'd. This should be a chance to meet several vampire factions and tick them off. first encounter
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First the Drac Pack sends a noble dressed in black armor with a ghoul on a chain,he demands the bottle in the name of his dread master Dracula. 2nd encounter
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Next comes a freak dressed in red lingerie with a red moon button.This freak is accompanied by a couple of Renfields,or human slaves. The freak demands the bottle in the name of Mistress Lilith. Promises a world of pain. 3rd encounter
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A small boy in a tuxedo and what appears to be leather batwings confronts the pcs with a smallbow. Demands to have his pretty friend returned. Has help from older friends with shotguns? Han Solo
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I want Han to show up and blast a serious vamp with his UV blaster. Introduce himself as Han Solo, The Fearless Vampire Slayer. Hammer films produced about 10 Dracula films. Dracula was virtually impossible to put down on a permanent basis. The Cherubs of Death probably have the blood of a virgin. The Red moon faction has ritual magic. The Drac Pack could use the blood of Dracula himself. Collectors just want the bottle,send drug dealers with cash ,then Uzi's?
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 16, 2011 - 3:48PM
#24
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DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE KING KONG? Every so often you're going to have to come up with a side game. A player will fail to show. A player will forget to bring his character sheet,and you forgot to ask them to leave a spare. You forgot your adventure. whatever the reason you want something to play besides Monopoly. A side game is the answer. This side game is based off some thoughts I had about King Kong and Giant Ape Wrestling from Futurama. GIANT APES
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The pcs should be issued stripped down versions of Cloud Giants. Each Pc should get an identical Ape. DISH 1
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On a platform 30 feet in the air and chained between posts is a Fay Wray type. A cute blonde with a good scream,able to survive King Kong using skills she got from dealing with hollywood producers. DISH 2
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On a platform 30 feet in the air is a wooden barrel with with a ton of a soporific berries. These are offered to calm the savage beast. THE BIG BANANA
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On a platform 30 feet in the air,surrounded by a golden glow. This is a one ton solid gold banana,has a magical glow from Nystuls Magic Aura. Villagers
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Some armed with spears,some women with babies. Bonus points awarded for stepping on or biting off the heads like Kong did in the movie. HUTS
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Thatched roofs and easily destroyed,a few points? Going ape
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This game does not rely on character developement or team playing. It relies on outrageous behaviour. THE RULES
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#1 You're a Giant Ape,act like one. #2 It's every Ape for themselves. #3 There will be a prize for going Ape. AWARDS
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Since they won't be getting XP or treasure you should come up with some prizes to give out. A bunch of Bananas. A rubber Ape mask. A small ape figure from the dollar store. If you give one you should give something to all pcs? This should be a fairly quick and raucus game,consider pitting two sample apes against each other so you can get a feel for giant ape combat.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 16, 2011 - 7:52PM
#25
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THE OLD CROSS-DIMENSIONAL MAGICAL PANTY RAID. The pcs are hired to steal magical panties from a witchy sorority. THE WITCHES
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A college sorority of evil witches. All between 17-25. All have large trust funds. All wear magical panties. All have goblinoid bodyguards. Number between 40-60. GOBLIN GIRLS
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About 6 goblin girls for every witch. Wear pink outfits. Pink pleated skirts. Pink jackets with epaulets like a bellhops. Tiny pink cap held in place by string. Small sized halberd with pink handle. Small .38 pistol with pink handle and a pink gunbelt. Small pink backpack for carrying witches books and computer. Drive the pink golf carts of the witches. Goblins in this world are green. Goblin girls are hired in order to keep the young witches surrounded by females. BODYGUARD BUGBEARS
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Wear black or red leather armor. Use a Ketchpole or 9MM. pistol on the job. 1 female bugbear is hired per witch. Bugbears also have elaborate and bead heavy hairdo's,sort of like Bo Derek in the movie 10. Bugbears are trained to react to the cry "NERD"by using their Ketchpole on the offending male. Picture a 400 lb. female bugbear with braided hair holding a nerd off the ground with ketchpole fastened around his neck. Witch House mother
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A female ogre magi who spends most of her time looking like a asian human of great beauty. Has two small tridents she wears in her hair,these will enlarge to fit her human or ogress form. Has a wand of Baleful Polymorph she wears in a holster. Dresses in silk dresses slit up to her waist. Is a cannibal,of course. guardhouse
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The outer defence of the witch house dimension is a pink building with surveilence camaras and plenty of Goblin Girls acting as guards. Inside this building is the gate to the pocket dimension that contains the witch house. Acts as a parking garage for pink golf carts. the witch house
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A large pink castle located in its own dimension. The Dimension has what appears to be a sun and moon but doesn't,this is a visual effect and can be made to pulse with red light in an emergancy. The Wich House Dimension is a 1 mile X 1 mile X 1 mile cube of space. When you approach the edge of the dimension and pass thru you appear at the opposite side of the dimension,a familiar effect for video game players. The ground of this dimension is grassy and has rolling hills and hummocks. MAGICAL PANTIES
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What does a witchy millionairess with goblinoid servents and all other lifes luxuries want, why, magical panties of course. Magical panties can fit any girl from a goblin to a giantess. Stand in front of a mirror and touch the panties and you can get them to change their color and cut. Magical panties clean and mend themselves. Magical panties filter bad smells and emit scents like rose,vanilla or herbal scents. (Witch house girls like to have have pretty smell contests after eating beans or pickled eggs.) Magical panties can once per day cast Cure Disease on the wearer. (used to cure the common cold of course). The BUYER
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What sort of person would hire people to steal magical panties? A jealous socialite. A foreign businessman who's perverted. A clothing designer who hopes to recreate them. A fraternity that wants to return them in exchange for..... The Goblin Girls often march around in groups chanting like the Winkies who guard the Wicked Witch of the West. The Housemother delays turning into an Ogress. Witches travel in groups,3 witches,3 bugbear guards,3-6 Goblin Girls in 3 pink golf carts. Pcs should be offered 20,000 dollars per panty they can steal?
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 18, 2011 - 4:45AM
#26
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HELP THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON IS IN MY BATHTUB. Now imagine the pcs come home to find their apt. is trashed and there are wet sounds coming from the bathroom. A jet black sahaugin has heard that the pcs are cross dimensional travellers. He leaves New Orc harbor. He finds their apt. He kicks in the front door. He smashes all the light bulbs,because he hates bright light. He goes to the bathtub because he's drying out. He comes out and says 'You Vill Elp Me". Do the pcs over re-act?
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 21, 2011 - 5:40PM
#27
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THELMA AND LOUISE, Love Conguers All. Now suppose in this world Thelma and Louise were real people and the movie with Susan Sarandon and Gina Davis was a fictionalised account of their life and supposed death. Now, when the car goes over the cliff thats supposedly the end of Thelma and Louise. For the sequel suppose it didn't end like that? the sequel (Love Conguers All) Begins with the car flipping thru the air. Gina and Susan are thrown from the car while still holding hands and land in a river. They swim to the surface with Gina's dress clinging to her amazonian form. T+L make it to the river bank and dry their clothes. They then head for mexico where they find work in a clinic for sick kids. Movie closes with susan smiling benificently at gina as she's surrounded by the kids who adore her. don't you just love a happy ending? THE MACHISMO GROUP
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The machismo group is a group of manly men who get together to ,in a manly fashion ,discuss their manly jobs, manly hobbies , sport'scars , weightlifting and who's not manly like them. evey so often they write a letter to some guy who's not manly,encouraging him to "man-up". THE HUNTING PARTY
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Having heard that Thelma and Louise survived the Machismo Group has decided to bring them to a man's justice, for why should mere women get to flout the law and encourage women to be "uppity". The pcs are asked, provided they're manly, to join the 2 dozen or so Machismo members as they hunt these two dangerous fugitives. How does this play out. Do the pcs join these nuts? Do they warn T+L? How does the mexican government react? Do the girls have a pistol or two? Do the pcs get confused and go visit the actresses instead of the outlaws? Does a radical splinter group of the National organization of Women (NOW) show up to help T+L?
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 23, 2011 - 6:39AM
#28
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THELMA AND LOUISE(LOVE CONQERS ALL) Cont'd. Now,while male and female extremists are equally silly,I believe I would like to emphasize male silliness in this adventure. The Machismo Group should own a nice mansion. There should be oil paintings of Burt Reynolds,Shaq,Steve McQueen,Arnold Swartzenegger and other Manly Men on the walls. There should be some photos of feminists like Rosie O'Donnel,Whoopi Goldberg,Joy Behar with red crosses painted on them. The Meeting Room for Manly Men should feature a round table and heavy leather bound chairs. When the Manly Men enter they should circle the table chanting" Men Men Men,we're Manly Men....Men Men Men ,oh we're the Manly Men." The leader of the Manly Men should carry a large bulbuos -headed mace. There is no secretary for the Machismo Group, he's called the Record Keeper.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 23, 2011 - 7:34AM
#29
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Date Joined:
Mar 24, 2006
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Taradusis, you do make this one entertaining setting. Although I might not run a game in this world any time soon, it does make me laugh or smile anytime I see a post here.
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2 years ago ::
Apr 23, 2011 - 8:24PM
#30
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Well,you know what socrates said "A little nonsense now and again is something appreciated by the wisest of men." Now,my next idea involves saddling the party with a pet and an officious censor. The pcs are sent back in time to attack a supervillains pre-historic lair,pretty standard stuff, right? While in the past the pcs confront and kill a maximum HD T.rex. After the Party leaves a baby T.rex comes out of the bushes and wails pathetically. This just goes to show that everytime the pcs kill something it has consequences. Apple Peaches PumpkinPie
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Louis Mcmaster Bujold invented a race called quaddies. Quaddies were genitically altered humans designed to live and work in space. Quaddies had two additional arms where a normal human would have legs. Quaddies were great natural mechanics,Perhaps born with a Craft Mechanical -4. Quadddies could live in zero G or low G enviroments without bone loss but collapsed under normal gravity. In the New Orcverse I want quaddies to come from an alternate future where after being created they're installed in a solar power collecting satellite. After 200 years of living and working in the satellite quaddie scientists create more and more technology for an increasingly hostile humanity. The situation is intolerable and the quaddies flee in the SPS ,moving it closer to the sun for increased energy for their ultra high tech society. Apple Peaches Pumpkinpie(Named by a random computer search) is born after the retreat of the quaddies and has been watching heros as a hobby. She transports the baby T.rex back home and modifies his intelligence so he can talk and gives him some basic ethical training to make him a "Good Guy". Apple then transports the T.rex to where the Pcs are now,Tells them they're responsible for raising Bambi Rex(named by Apple who has shown the Bambi Rex the Bambi movie.). BAMBI REX
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A 200 lb talking baby T.Rex. Has an Allegiance to Good. Causes the following problems;Needs 40 lbs of meat a day. New Orc has A Pooper Scooper law,Bambi Rex produces a lot. Talks at inapropriote times. May eat pets. May attack threats. Has parasites? Needs teeth cleaned? needs a hot rock to sleep on? Never forgets that Pcs killed his mom. Apple thoughts
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Appears like a girl with four arms and no legs. Wears a metallic jump suit. Floats in mid air due to gravity back pack. Belt has a giant yellow smiley face that reflects the moods of Apple. Apple's Mood Belt also has numerous rods. Rods can do things like cast a Geas on Pcs. Give intelligence and speech to animals. Generate lighting bolts. Apple tells party shes with the Chronal Oversight Patrol or COPS. Apple should show up and pester the Pcs every so often.
I will immediately report any Phishers or Lonely Hearts Scam Artists.
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