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First, something I missed on your Feats: Sentinel Adept gives use of Rods, Staffs, and Wands as implements. I'm thinking Wands should be Orbs.

Now to PP's:
Ok, I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm not really sure what you were intending with half of these PP's. Most of the powers are pretty solid, but both MotB and Fate Weaver require you to make sub-optimal choices in character building, and all 4 allow for more Features than 90% of WotC PP's allow. I don't think there is a single PP from WotC that tries to get a particular class to take it while changing the ability that the powers key off of to something that wouldn't otherwise be used by that class. I'll walk through them one by one.

Bottom line - PP's should be about the originating class, not about potential MC choices. The MC choice should be more about versatility than power, though both should allow for optimization if the key abilities coincide.

MotB
First, you are looking for a suboptimal char build choice with an Int15 prereq for this class. From that I'm guessing that this is supposed to be a MC PP from an Int based class (like Wiz or SM). I'm good with that up until I see that ALL of the features are Mark based. That rules out the Wiz (1/e from the MC feat use of features just isn't enough to justify taking the PP - again, a suboptimal choice), but still gives potential to the SM. Recognize here though, that you are essentially creating a PP specifically for a SM-->SS class. I guess it could be for an SS that uses Int for Def instead of Dex, but why would he? He loses the Init benefit and none of the SS powers key off Int, unlike Dex (of which there are some really decent ones).

That being said:
Features
Knowledgeable Mark - For an SS this is not a benefit, but a detriment. An SS isn't likely to have more than 17 at most for his Int at 11th lv, and probably not even that (14 or lower is FAR more likely, since Dex is more beneficial). So for anyone other than a MC char this feature is WORSE than what the original class gets. If he doesn't have at least an 18 Int, it is worse.
Crippling Spell - fine.
Improved Durability - weak. I'd make something like having the ability to use 2nd Wind 1 addl time per encounter as well as an extra Surge or 2.
Guardian's Book - As noted for Knowledgeable Mark, this just isn't strong enough for an SS.
If anything, I'd remove the 1/2 Int for full Int mod for Knowledgeable Mark, but specify for SS Mark only (might require rewording of the Feat to change from "Mark" to "Tracer feature" 1/e) @ 11th lv. This makes it beneficial for the suboptimal SS and doesn't allow it to be OP for the SM (as an example of an Int-based Marking class). This means losing Guardian's Book, which allows you to feel better about making Imp.Durability stronger and moving it to 16th.

Powers
First, you make mention a couple of places about "wielding a book." I'm assuming that you intended somehow to make books an implement. I can see that, but unfortunately it would require a ton of new magic items to be created first, or something more on what a "book implement" would/could do.

This led me to another thought of using Ritual Casting as a prereq and using the Ritual book somehow as an implement, but I think that's a flawed concept requiring too much to make it work reasonably.

Alternately, giving the class a more Wiz-like feature, such as allowing free rituals (maybe 4 under lv11, and 1 per 2 levels in PP?). Or possibly giving Wand as an implement and creating a Wand Focus option as well. However, that puts you back up to +1 feature, all of which are decently strong, which you really shouldn't do, IMO.


Knowledgeable Strike
1- Fluff Text, typos: remove apostrophe and "e" from "you're" to "your"; and remove and replace "l" with "k" in "striling" for "striking"
2- This power uses all 4 defenses. Please note that Wiz powers that do the same also have a different effect for each defense they hit. I recommend the same here, otherwise you are giving the char 4 chances to hit the target, where at least one of those chances will always be a suboptimal defense for the target.
3- This is one of the "wielding a book" powers.

Libra
1- Fluff text, I'm not sure where you intended to go with the whole Book concept, but I'd suggest the following wording change, since the word 'book' is kinda weak, "Weaving a symbol in the air transcribed from your arcane tome, you gain instant knowledge about your target's capabilities." Some things moved, some things changed, some things corrected.
2- Remove apostrophe from "it's" to "its" in Effect line
3- I suggest removing the last sentence from the Sustain line. This effectively makes the power an at-will as long as it's sustained. If you really want something that, I suggest making it a stance and allow for reassignment of target if the current target becomes bloodied or dying/dead. Makes it more reasonable.

Perfect Attack
1- Same as Knowledgeable Strike
2- also notes "wielding a book"


Warded Reaver
Features
Lethal Transfer
1- Remove "to affect and attack" - it's redundant, you don't need it.
2- Why "9" + Cha mod? Not 5 or 10, but '9'? Personally, I think this features is a little strong, even at 5+cha. (again, stacking issues)

I'd switch Deadly Action with Durable Guardian for level acquried (but I could go either way with that) and change Deadly Action text as follows:
"At the end of a turn granted by spending an Action Point, all creatures marked by you take damage equal to your Cha modifier."

Improved Mark
Text alteration and suggested addition: "Creatures marked by you suffer a -2 penalty to all attacks, including those that have you as a target."

Powers
Sudden Ward
Effect line wording addition, "The creatures is marked, including for the interrupted attack, and you..." Otherwise, since he's already rolled his attack (though it doesn't resolve, ie- dmg isn't applied) before your interrupt, he wouldn't take the -2 atk penalty. There would at least be some confusion about that (RAW v. RAI).

Null Field
Suggested wording change for Effect line:
"The power fizzles. Any result of that power for a Hit, Miss, or Effect does not occur and the power may not be sustained. The foe does not retain use of the power." I think that was your intent, but there's an issue using the word "effect" if you don't mean just the Effect line of a power, which it doesn't look like you meant that.

Devastating Protection
Add "damage" after '3d6 + your Cha mod', and I'd suggest -2 atk penalty instead of -5. Again, atk bonuses and penalties are really rare in 4e, so they should be used sparingly and at a low degree - conditions seem to be that new currency for alternate effects for an attack.

Arcane Archer (I really like this one - it plays to the ranged concept of the SS without requiring a suboptimal choice)
5 Features?!? Really, way too much.
Bow Implement- suggestion: "Choose a type of bow with which you are proficient; this may now be used as an implement with SS powers." I just think this is more fitting.
Arcane Accuracy- Lower to +2 instead of +4, Atk bonuses are just as rare as penalties in 4e, and almost never exceed +2. You're effectively making an 18 stat into a 26 stat, which would otherwise take 28 levels to accomplish.
Archer's Defense- Mark everyone within a 20 square radius at lv11?!? Holy crap, and I thought Perfect Ward was OP at lv22! Drop this one (you have too many features anyways). With your Ward Stances and Dangerous Ward, this is too much at too low a level, even 1/e.
Limitless Arrows- Nothing wrong with this, but why non-magical? I kinda think cool factor could readily apply here with force arrows, lightning arrows, or even fire arrows (rather shafts of force, lightning, or fire) ala the old 80's DnD cartoon for the Ranger. No bonuses or anything, just typing. Just a suggestion. Add notation that the 'arrow' appears when drawing your bow so as not to get misused in other situations (like having been disarmed).
Channeled Shot- Remove "either" and add, "...instead of the usual range of the power."

Counter Shot
Change to Immediate Interrupt. By suffering a penalty to the attack which triggers this power, it needs to be an interrupt. I know you'd rather not have it limit the char's option of using other Interrupts this turn, but this power is really that kind of action.

Double Shot
Fluff text: Change "to" to "two" and add hyphen for "spell-infused"

Blot out the Sun
1- Fluff text: "spell-infused", and remove "infused with a spell" (redundant), and suggested change, "...the air, where it duplicates,..."
2- Suggest Ongoing 5 dmg instead of 10 for tertiary atk hit.

Fate Weaver
(I like this concept, but again, suboptimal Wis choice, indicates PP is designed for an SS MC Feat char)
Features - I think you're ok with leaving all these features, because none of them are really very strong, and they are all situational.
Spread the Luck- Change to, "You may spend an action point to give you and all allies..." and add at the end, "...end of your next turn."
Lucky Recovery- Remove "n" in "...against a[s]n condition..."

Powers
Inescapable Attack
Fluff text - seems like it got partially removed. Maybe, "...ensuring that your next attack will succeed." ?
Remove extra "l" from "rollls" in Hit line.

Revoke Destiny
This one is kinda powerful, but I think ok.
1- I recommend first off to take out the mitigation lines of "or all of them if [you/he] have less." If it should be 4 Surges, than it should stay 4 Surges. 2- Additionally, you could make it 8 Surges all together from both you and the ally, any amount taken from either so long as it totals 8 (though I also think 6 might be sufficient). Another option to make it more reasonable might be restoring the ally only to Bloodied value HP.
3- Oh, and needs Healing keyword.

Rebraid the Strands
1-Fluff text, add "u" to "pll" and add hyphen to "re-entwine"
2-Effect text, remove extra "b" in "bon[s]bus"
3-Suggestion, make allies within 10 squares instead of 5.
4-I think that weakened AND slowed is a little harsh. It means that you can't hurt much and you can't get away either. I'd go with weakened and dazed, which may seem more harsh, but it allows the FW to get away at least, just not with a double move.
Of coarse, that being said, I'd also likely never use this power as an SS since the other SS stances are SOOO much better.


Again, I really think that Paragon Paths should be designed with the Prereq class (or race or whatever) specifically in mind. These are supposed to be specialized versions of the originating class (if class-based).

PS - I think I like the name Sentinel Sorcerer better than Sorcerous Sentinel. Just personal preference, but the powers seems more Sorcerer than anything else. If you think it sounds better too, just remember that Find/Replace All edit feature is your friend. LOL

I think overall you did a really good job on the base class. It fills the concept that you intended for it and provides a unique method of playing a Defender, while giving him an Arcane power source. Like I said previously, it's like a Ranged version of the SM (and I think better executed, actually). I'd be hard pressed, personally, to come up with that many different power designs to keep them from becoming repetitive and cliche. All in all, good jorb.

The PP's I think lost something in design concept, but their powers are really creative and near-perfect.

ff6shadow wrote:

OKay. removing all cases of Implement, Weapon powers. They will be weapon powers. This changes the notations, so any power with the Weapon keywrod will have Weapon: Staff effect instead of Implement: staff effect. Also, notations of quarterstaff will be changed to staff, since we mayb recieve more staff weapons at a later time.
I think that is the best option also.
Added notation to Perfect Ward that it does not remark.

And the last benefit with Constitution that I forgot to mention is that most of the powers

Paragon Paths are definitly a weaker part of the design here. The only one I could think of to enhance the class itself Warded Reaver

Master of the Book
This was partially designed to help with multi-classing, but it also allows you to create a different type of Sorcerous Sentinel. This is designed for it you want to use Intelligence as a primary stats for whatever reason: fits the character, multiclass, or just an intelligent sorcerous sentinel.
This goes back to basically being just a PP for SM--> SS. I think that's just bad design personally. Maybe that's just me though.
Knowledgeable Mark
This was designed based on the fact that if you take this path, Intelligence will be a stat for you, and you'll stick to Charisma focuses class power. It is supposed to be Tracer only though, so I added that in. This prevents Perfect Ward from applying a stupid level of debuff to the entire battle. It is also supposed to enable the use of books as implements, which will be edited in.
Remember though, it is likely that this will be LESS than what Tracer or any Mark already allows unless the Char has 18 Int, which he won't unless he comes from Wiz or SM.
Improved Durability
It is weak, mostly because it is a third paragon path feature at 11th. If you think a second Secind Wind is okay, I'll edit it.
I only suggested the addl 2nd Wind based on it being made the 16th lv power and Guardian's Book being removed in exchange for allowing full Int mod with Knowledgeable Mark. For the specifics of a Class and PP, I think you're better off forgetting about the Book Implement and dropping Guardian's Book, but for a personal campaign which already includes those things, it makes more sense.
Guardian's Book
It is missing the final line. It must have been cut at some time. This feature is designed as the books Implement Focus. Making this solely an Implement & Implement Focus feature I think works better, but there's that issue of Book Implements again. Also, you're giving the SS an add'l focus for free, but really the price is suboptimal choices in char build.

Powers
First off, Libra is mistyped. Should be a daily power. For a general note, the idea with the powers is that they are hyper accurate. Rather than simply giving them a decent bonus to target one defense, they target all defenses. Additionally, both the encounter and the daily have a mistake;. They should be using Intelligence to hit.

Final Note
I did have several book magic items statted out. They seem to have been cut from the PDF. I'll dig them up and add them at the end.
Like I said, I think I'm just against the idea of a PP with an originating class prereq that isn't primarily beneficial to that class. I think the fundamental premise of it is flawed, so I really don't know if I could really give MotB a fair shake as a result. Sorry.

Warded Reaver
Lethal Transfer
The 9 damage is pulled from the Paladins Mark damage at epic level.

Wondering why you suggest changing Durable Guardians and Deadly Actions level. ALso, why the rewording on Deadly Action. Defense should be available at a lower level than similarly powered offense. Every edition of DnD seems to have predominantly been designed that way (at least before the power creep sets in). Since Deadly Action seems to be effectively similar (if not the same) as your Ward Stances, it would hold that it might need to be of similar level or higher. Also because of the Stances, it is a double edged sword, and as a result, you might also want to add the wording of, "...you MAY reduce that damage..." to the feature as well, giving the WR a choice about mitigating it or not.

The wording change clarifies that the creatures are those marked by you this turn, as opposed to your original wording which would occur BEFORE you took the actions from burning your action point, and thus not applicable to those creatures targeted by your extra actions.

Improved Mark
Changed. Also made sure to specify that it overrides the normal marking penalty.

Devastating Protection
The -5 penalty was an attempt to negate a solo creatures advantage against this power. I've reduced it to 2 for now, but I'm considered putting it back at -5 and making only apply to effects of this power.
That might not be as bad (applying only to this power), but that's still a HUGE penalty to some pretty major conditions. It reduces the chance to save by half, down to 25%. That means that he isn't likely to save but once every 4 rolls, which puts him at one condition for 2 rounds and the other for 4 rounds (on avg). I just think that the -2 penalty (10% less) as a continuing condition is better overall - doesn't hamper the target as much, but still significantly, and provides an incentive for your party members to doll out the condition and ongoing dmg applications.
Arcane Archer
Arcane Arccuracy
More than a few paragon paths offer a +4 bponus to attacks for a turn after using an action point.
I think I misread that. I don't remember thinking that it was for 1 round and required an action point. I agree, should be fine. My bad.
Archer's Defense
This is missing two lines. One, the mark lasts until the end of your next turn. Second, it counts as Implement Focus, this time for a bow. While it is a large scale debuff, it does not allow you to use Warded Transfer more than the usual once before yoour next turn.
Your Tracer mark already lasts until the end of your next turn, so that would be redundant under the assumption that this is a Tracer mark. Being an Implement Focus is also irrelevant as it pertains to the mechanics, since it's additional to the other SS Implement Focuses anyways. Neither line changes the feature mechanically, at all.

That being said, I think I got a little gun-shy about the Warded Transfer ability. The way you have the class using it kinda scares me, so I think I'm being overly cautious when reviewing anything that has to deal with it. I guess it's not too OP really, with Warder Xfer still being 1/r. MAybe roll it as an Implement Focus into the "Bow Implement" feature though, so it doesn't look like you've got the PP too front-loaded with features.
Limitless Arrows
This was the 4th feature added, and I really questions doing it, since it brekas a precedent. Since it was non-magical arrows, I left it in since it is flavorful, but doesn't really provide any noticeable power bonus. It should specify for when drawing the bow though. I can respect that, but it just seems a shame to lose the 'cool factor' potential there.

Fate Weaver
Yeah, the off stat choice again. Wisdom is the key stats for a line of luck feats I'm working on. Additionally, a few Sorcerous Sentinel feats key off wisdom. Finally, yes it does offer an option for multi-classes characters.
BOOOOO!! :D
Inescapable Attack
Yeah. I forgot to finsih the sentence.

Revoke Destiny
Added the Healing keyword
I left the out clause becuase wihout it, people would question what happend without enough surges. Do they go negative? And it seemed funner in this case to allow thwe power to work even if you didn't quite have enough.
You simply can't use the power without the Surges. I really think it's necessary for the power to work, personally, but up to you.

Rebraid the Strand
If it appears that weak, perhaps I should remove eithe weakened or slowed all together. I was worried since it effectively gives the party +4 to hit all your enemies and all your enemies get a -4 to hit your allies.
10 Square is in though.
You know what? I missed the DEFENSES and ATTACK ROLLS. I'm an R-Tard. I think you should put it back the way it was, 5 squares and all. Once again, my bad.
Again, thanks for all of your comments and I'm glad you've liked it. Are you planning to go over the revised PDF now? And most interesting to me, any plans to allow it into a campaign of your own?

Updated PDF will be up shortly.

I think I must have been asleep when reviewing your PP's. Either that or I got so biased from MotB that I didn't give the rest enough of a chance. I don't freaking know, but I obviously needed proofreading for my proofreading. Sincerely, my apologies for really not working on these as helpfully as my previous work. WTF to me.

I will double check the new PDF- I'm honestly surprised you still want me to. I thought I might have worn out my welcome being so nit-picky.

I might take the weekend to refresh my brain though (I appearantly need it). Should take less time to review this go-round though, especially with your notes on conceptual design.

I would consider allowing in my campaign depending on the outcome of the changes. You seem to have taken most of them to heart, so likely I would (though not the PP's except maybe Warded Reaver and AA). The things we disagree on, I might have to change to allow, but again, depends on the next go-round of review (since I can't remember all the things that were worked on and their interactions with the rest of the class).

I do really like the concept and think it was very well executed, particularly for a role function that's so complex. I haven't seen pretty much any other Homebrew classes that I've felt that way about thus far.

I'm not up to DM until April/May, so I don't know if anyone in my group would be interested (since there will be all that cool new stuff from PHB2). I've been talking to my eldest son about it, so he might be interested. Honestly, I doubt I'd go through all this trouble if I weren't going to make it available in my House Rules book though. :D

ff6shadow wrote:

One last thought I had. The Orb implement doesn't have a stat attached to it. Perhaps I could modify some powers with the Orb implement to use Wisdom or Intelligence in some way.

I think this is a good idea.