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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 1:45PM #31
dahgda
Date Joined: Jun 6, 2005
Posts: 5
So the Elemental Evil is Tharizdun, which brings D&D full circle in terms of the Elder Evil. But my understanding is the Lady of Pain (and possibly Asmodeus) is also in the Primordial class of power - basically an intrinsic piece of the multiverse, without which it would not exist. The gods are Johnny-come-lately's (at least in the multiverse's perspective), and their existence, while impacting the planes, is not necessary to reality.

Sorry, just tossing that out there, based on what was published in the last Dragon magazine, talking about the "Secrets of D&D" and all that.
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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 1:52PM #32
Zinger2099
Date Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2,742

dahgda wrote:

So the Elemental Evil is Tharizdun, which brings D&D full circle in terms of the Elder Evil. But my understanding is the Lady of Pain (and possibly Asmodeus) is also in the Primordial class of power - basically an intrinsic piece of the multiverse, without which it would not exist. The gods are Johnny-come-lately's (at least in the multiverse's perspective), and their existence, while impacting the planes, is not necessary to reality.

Sorry, just tossing that out there, based on what was published in the last Dragon magazine, talking about the "Secrets of D&D" and all that.


Thanks for your input, no apology nessesary! You just brought us to Page 2! :P

My Mafia No Lie Policy.
Talking about the Tomb of Horrors.
Previously Run Games Show
Quotes I liked Show

Apr 24, 2011 -- 9:31AM, shadowfyre77 wrote:

dude, zinger, you are awesome.

yeah.

Apr 13, 2011 -- 4:18PM, Tevish_Szat wrote:

Zinger . . . 10/90 - If he bussed his don as a scum rolename cop while faux dug his grave attacking the claimed cop d1... well, if he fooled us all to lylo he deserves to win.

Apr 15, 2011 -- 1:03PM, Ragnalesca wrote:

Zinger was the star of that game, don't you deny it

Jan 12, 2011 -- 2:35AM, fcjamison wrote:

Soon is a funny creature with a highly variable pupal state, after which it becomes the beautiful creature known as now. Sometimes this metamophosis takes as little as a day, and sometimes it takes several months. Occasionally, the creature enters hybernation after chrysalis begins, and it may be several seasons before the metamorphosis is complete. Occassionally, the creature dies while in the pupal state without warning, and waiting for now to emerge becomes a lesson in futility. This is also seen in the creature known as later, and waiting for both soon and later to become now can be a frustrating process.

Feb 2, 2011 -- 2:44AM, scylis wrote:

Knowing is Half the Battle.
The Other Half is VIOLENCE!

Imagine a lightsaber duel between Optimus Prime and Batman. You're welcome.

Jan 31, 2011 -- 9:13AM, Just_a_cleric wrote:

Will add that I think Zinger is just a new 'type' of mafia player that doesn't really play by our standards and therefor still leaning towards town for now based on the way he plays in other games and it's seemingly the same (and I can't really see him as scum in all of them).

Jan 28, 2011 -- 10:07PM, Zipperflesh wrote:

.45 magnum + bullet + computer screen = problem solved

Best Death-Post Ever by ProphetKing Show

May 31, 2010 -- 11:58AM, ProphetKing wrote:



The sun rises – and then is blown away by the fierce wind.

All over the world, dark clouds cover the sky. The atmosphere is covered in a dark iron curtain of cumulus. Thunder pours from the sky as if it mere rain and it hails daggers onto the ground. The people hide in fear, of whatever ungodly evil has been summoned by some fool.

The Great Guardian of the Sky, RAYQUAZA, has been summoned.

And he has come for Silly Dragons!

(Right Click - > View)

RAYQUAZAAMEN.png

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Silly lay dead, once known in life as James, Town Aligned.

Now that Silly is dead, there is a calm. Once again all is right with the Heavens above.

But on Earth violence remains. King of Dominaria weeps over the loss of the one of his heart. He decides to end it all. He grabs an Arbok and shoves it onto it his neck. “BITE ME – END ME!” The snake does as asked and fills KoD with an exotic, incurable venom. He collapses.

Enraged and vicious, the snake systematically begins killing KoD’s poke’mon. Gengar and Beedrill are brutally slaughtered in an attempt to fight back. Skitty wisely tries to run away, but is easily taken out after Ekans discovers an underground gopher hole to pop out of. With great wide unhinged jaws, the snake swallows Skitty whole.

In great sorrow after the death of his owner, Silly, Wailord begins to look for his own lover – Skitty. It is a little known fact but whales and cats actually can interbreed in the pokemon world. Here is a graphic image illustrating this relationship.

Spoiler: Show

Wailord_X_Skitty_by_YellerCrakka1.jpg


At noticing the scent of Skitty in the vicious Arbok, Wailord goes nuts. He begins flopping around on the land and foaming from the mouth. He turns into some kind of suicide berserker and just throws his body haphazardly into anything. Mountains are crushed, caves are demolished, the earth is sundered. And Arbok is turned into a purple fruit roll up.

Meanwhile, KoD is suddenly feeling better! “I must have a natural immunity to snake poison or something. Wow…that was certainly sad and all, but y’know, I don’t think I’ll kill my – OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT STAMPEDING WHALE!”

It was like dropping the Moon onto an ant. KoD never stood a chance.

…wait, maybe he did! The blowhole! KoD managed to become a modern day Jonah and avoid certain dead by smashing. He begins to live inside the whale itself, starting a farming community on the great beasts tongue. Mostly living out of self grown mushrooms plucked from his own horribly unhygienic body and drinking whale saliva to survive, KoD is…well, still suicidal. But clinging onto life.

However, one day the great beast yawns. KoD tumbles back into the digestive system. His skin is flayed away by acid. Miraculously, he survives as some kind of horrible walking pile of muscles. Then…in the most horrible, disgusting way imaginable…he manages to escape from the whale using a secret exit.

Of course, the local insects also like what came out of the whale’s secret exit. They find KoD and decide he’d be much better with several stings and bites. KoD becomes violently ill from malaria and begins puking. Unfortunately he loses a lung in the process and has to be rushed to the hospital. There he is put into an iron lung and locked away by the hospital staff, who promptly forget to feed him. KoD starts starving to death inside an iron machine that is keeping him alive against his will. Crying every day, he wishes just to die.

Then, one day, a young boy from a local charity group brings KoD breakfast. There’s eggs, orange juice, coffee…and a bran muffin.

KoD eagerly eats the breakfast, having begun digesting his own stomach before being given the wonderful gift of food. He saves the muffin for last. He takes a big bite and begins choking. He passes out and dies from lack of oxygen.

However, the EMTs finally heard KoD’s cry! They bring in the jaws of life and a deliberator. AMAZINGLY, they actually bring KoD back from the dead! KoD managed to survive the terrible curse of the muffin! All is saved.

Unfortunately, whales are incredibly fond of muffins too. Wailord shows back up seeking the muffin and grinds everyone in the hospital to a fine paste. KoD is now a pancake and was, before being smashed into a breakfast food himself, Jessie, Town Aligned.

Eventually Silly’s Wailord killed itself after realizing its life as a reality TV star was meaningless. Silly’s other Poke’mon, Zapdos died of a heroin overdose.



Serena is drinking coffee peacefully. It is a luxury she will not have often.

Despite the caffeine, she drifts off into sleep.

She awakes to a beautiful woman.

Spoiler: Show
clearyjynx.png


The big, puffy pink lips…yes, Serena must give this woman a lovely kiss!

The making out is passionate and forceful. There is tongue on tongue action.

During this ungodly nightmare of mankind/poke'mon relations, a mysterious move is made. Jynx yawns incredibly loud - popping her cheekbones...which turn out to be whirling blades of death. Shocked Serena tries to escape, but Jynx bear hugs her into submission. In an instant the Jynx whirls Serena's tongue into a bloody pile of dust. Slowly, the electronic blades go deeper and deeper up Serena’s throat until finally reaching the brain. A few slices here and there…Serena has been given an involuntary lobotomy.

She stares into space aimlessly. She is of the living but her spirit is gone.

The odd Jynx continues its plan. It vomits out several eggs into the now living corpse of Serena, via oral entry. They hatch into little Jynx maggots and begin to feast on Serena’s non-vitals. Slowly, the maggots begin to mature while eating out the inside of the still breathing, lobotomized Serena. They keep her alive in order to sustain the body as a food source – ensuring to eat an unimportant muscle, a vestigial pancreas…she’ll stay fresh longer if her heart still beats…

It’s too horrible to watch anymore. All you need to know is that she was Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her remaining Poke’mon, Gengar and Mismagius died alone in the wilderness.

Television informs you Glare has the orb now. It then flips to some local news about a ship being fired upon. Bored, you watch aimlessly until you hear a gunshot.

A random Suicine had it's brains blown out. The exit wound is the size of your fist. You try to apply medicine but you realize duct tape can't fix the hypothalmus.

...

TL;DR:

* Silly Dragons died as James, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Wailord and Zapdos. He was obliterated by Rayquaza.

321wailord.png145zapdos.png

* King of Dominaria died as Jessie, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Skitty, Gengar and Beedrill. He was crushed by Wailord.

300skitty.png094gengar.png015beedrill.png

* Serena died as Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her Poke'mon were Gengar and Mismagius. She was given a Lovely Kiss.

094gengar.png429mismagius.png

* A Suicine died.

245suicune.png

* Glare has the Orb.


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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 4:01PM #33
gnome_in_denial
Date Joined: Sep 8, 2007
Posts: 89
Just to put in my creative juices, I had an idea for inserting my players into the Primodial Wars with a medium other than time travel.

I was planning on sending them to the Primordial War era during their Paragon portion of the campaign (probably levels 14-16ish). The campaign starts in the CURRENT time period. I was going to have a demi-goddess of discord who liked to travel the Astral Sea looking to increase her powers as a deity. During her travels she would learn how the Primordials 'hid' the secrets of the cosmos (ie, unlimited power) inside the creation of the world. To retrive it, she means to destroy everything, including the entire planet and probably the feywild and shadowlands along with it. To do so, she plans on using the Primordial powers that are scattered throughout the land (probably raising the Primordial of Disease, or something to that nature...still fleshing it out).

The players (from levels 1+) have been stopping local threats always with a common tie that will eventually lead back to this demigoddess (although the players wont know that till levels 11+ish). To find her true motives, the players must obtain knowledge from way back into the Primordials Wars. They will come across a Ritual that will allow them to 'revisit' strong events in history. They will know this ritual will be dangerous, however, as it ties their spirits to the memories of a raging war-torn past.

After a few quests of finding the correct components (such as, say an artifact from a giant camp that dates back to their creation, etc), the players will enact the ritual. This ritual doesn't just show them the events, but actually transports their wills into the bodies of certain key persons in the old Wars. I will be giving them either alternate characters (probably levels 28+ish) or maybe even stats from a monster entry (Angel of Vengence or something more powerful). They will share the wills and the memories of these creatures and will play out a key battle or two in these new personas.

After a session or two, the players will come back (more experienced) to their old selves and, with new information gained to help find/stop the goddess, will attempt to stop the destruction of the world. This should take them through their paragon levels just fighting off her minions and what not till a final chase-showdown in the epic levels....

Those are just my thoughts and plans. Also, according the what I saw in the Worlds and Monsters preview, I got the impression that the Primordials were fewer in number than the gods and MUCH more powerful. Thats my take.

Another GREAT resource for this sort of campaign is the Swords and Sorcery 3.5 product based around the Scarred Lands. It had the same theme and some GREAT history to it. It is scattered across several books (the Scarred Lands MM is the best I think, then a world book, an item book., etc). You should be able to find them cheap at a used bookstore about now.....

Heres some info on it! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarred_Lands
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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 4:04PM #34
Nightchill
Date Joined: Feb 5, 2004
Posts: 93

gnome_in_denial wrote:

Those are just my thoughts and plans. Also, according the what I saw in the Worlds and Monsters preview, I got the impression that the Primordials were fewer in number than the gods and MUCH more powerful. Thats my take.


Aye I've just re-read Worlds & Monsters (and it answered my ponderings above, oops) and it certainly seems so - a few Gods to take down a Primordial

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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 4:11PM #35
JohnLynch
Date Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Posts: 2,962
My idea was to set it halfway through the war. Some dwarves have managed to lead themselves and other races into rebellion and gained their freedom. However they now live in towns in mountains and are in constant fear of the giants conquering them once more.

The campaign will begin in one such freed town and it'll be up to the players to help keep the town free and thriving (because there's also lots of other dangers besides the giants). Players can be humans, elves, eladrin, drow (elves and eladrin will take a different name but for code purposes this is what they are. They can also be ex-slaves or from a nearby city), half-elf, orcs (who at this stage haven't begun worshipping Gruumsh) and other MM races (who similarly won't be completely evil at this stage). Then as the campaigns go on players will have chances to change history. They could save Io from dying or stop Tharizdan from creating the Abyss or prematurely win the war.
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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 7:01PM #36
pdboddy
Date Joined: Jan 15, 2005
Posts: 226
Hey cool, they've converted Exalted to d20 now? :D
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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 8:24PM #37
dahgda
Date Joined: Jun 6, 2005
Posts: 5
Naw, Exalted stole the idea of Primordials from D&D :-) Who stole it from mythology in general but anyway....
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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 8:27PM #38
Zinger2099
Date Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2,742

pdboddy wrote:

Hey cool, they've converted Exalted to d20 now? :D


Lol. Not quite. I made that comment actually when I first noticed a similarity, but no. After doing some research I found that many cultures and many histories dating back to before D&D (and much before Exalted) speaks of powerful elemental forces called Primordials that helped shaped the world. Obviously this has influenced Exalted and D&D in some ways.

Also, in Exalted, the Primordials created the Gods. This is not so in D&D.

My Mafia No Lie Policy.
Talking about the Tomb of Horrors.
Previously Run Games Show
Quotes I liked Show

Apr 24, 2011 -- 9:31AM, shadowfyre77 wrote:

dude, zinger, you are awesome.

yeah.

Apr 13, 2011 -- 4:18PM, Tevish_Szat wrote:

Zinger . . . 10/90 - If he bussed his don as a scum rolename cop while faux dug his grave attacking the claimed cop d1... well, if he fooled us all to lylo he deserves to win.

Apr 15, 2011 -- 1:03PM, Ragnalesca wrote:

Zinger was the star of that game, don't you deny it

Jan 12, 2011 -- 2:35AM, fcjamison wrote:

Soon is a funny creature with a highly variable pupal state, after which it becomes the beautiful creature known as now. Sometimes this metamophosis takes as little as a day, and sometimes it takes several months. Occasionally, the creature enters hybernation after chrysalis begins, and it may be several seasons before the metamorphosis is complete. Occassionally, the creature dies while in the pupal state without warning, and waiting for now to emerge becomes a lesson in futility. This is also seen in the creature known as later, and waiting for both soon and later to become now can be a frustrating process.

Feb 2, 2011 -- 2:44AM, scylis wrote:

Knowing is Half the Battle.
The Other Half is VIOLENCE!

Imagine a lightsaber duel between Optimus Prime and Batman. You're welcome.

Jan 31, 2011 -- 9:13AM, Just_a_cleric wrote:

Will add that I think Zinger is just a new 'type' of mafia player that doesn't really play by our standards and therefor still leaning towards town for now based on the way he plays in other games and it's seemingly the same (and I can't really see him as scum in all of them).

Jan 28, 2011 -- 10:07PM, Zipperflesh wrote:

.45 magnum + bullet + computer screen = problem solved

Best Death-Post Ever by ProphetKing Show

May 31, 2010 -- 11:58AM, ProphetKing wrote:



The sun rises – and then is blown away by the fierce wind.

All over the world, dark clouds cover the sky. The atmosphere is covered in a dark iron curtain of cumulus. Thunder pours from the sky as if it mere rain and it hails daggers onto the ground. The people hide in fear, of whatever ungodly evil has been summoned by some fool.

The Great Guardian of the Sky, RAYQUAZA, has been summoned.

And he has come for Silly Dragons!

(Right Click - > View)

RAYQUAZAAMEN.png

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Silly lay dead, once known in life as James, Town Aligned.

Now that Silly is dead, there is a calm. Once again all is right with the Heavens above.

But on Earth violence remains. King of Dominaria weeps over the loss of the one of his heart. He decides to end it all. He grabs an Arbok and shoves it onto it his neck. “BITE ME – END ME!” The snake does as asked and fills KoD with an exotic, incurable venom. He collapses.

Enraged and vicious, the snake systematically begins killing KoD’s poke’mon. Gengar and Beedrill are brutally slaughtered in an attempt to fight back. Skitty wisely tries to run away, but is easily taken out after Ekans discovers an underground gopher hole to pop out of. With great wide unhinged jaws, the snake swallows Skitty whole.

In great sorrow after the death of his owner, Silly, Wailord begins to look for his own lover – Skitty. It is a little known fact but whales and cats actually can interbreed in the pokemon world. Here is a graphic image illustrating this relationship.

Spoiler: Show

Wailord_X_Skitty_by_YellerCrakka1.jpg


At noticing the scent of Skitty in the vicious Arbok, Wailord goes nuts. He begins flopping around on the land and foaming from the mouth. He turns into some kind of suicide berserker and just throws his body haphazardly into anything. Mountains are crushed, caves are demolished, the earth is sundered. And Arbok is turned into a purple fruit roll up.

Meanwhile, KoD is suddenly feeling better! “I must have a natural immunity to snake poison or something. Wow…that was certainly sad and all, but y’know, I don’t think I’ll kill my – OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT STAMPEDING WHALE!”

It was like dropping the Moon onto an ant. KoD never stood a chance.

…wait, maybe he did! The blowhole! KoD managed to become a modern day Jonah and avoid certain dead by smashing. He begins to live inside the whale itself, starting a farming community on the great beasts tongue. Mostly living out of self grown mushrooms plucked from his own horribly unhygienic body and drinking whale saliva to survive, KoD is…well, still suicidal. But clinging onto life.

However, one day the great beast yawns. KoD tumbles back into the digestive system. His skin is flayed away by acid. Miraculously, he survives as some kind of horrible walking pile of muscles. Then…in the most horrible, disgusting way imaginable…he manages to escape from the whale using a secret exit.

Of course, the local insects also like what came out of the whale’s secret exit. They find KoD and decide he’d be much better with several stings and bites. KoD becomes violently ill from malaria and begins puking. Unfortunately he loses a lung in the process and has to be rushed to the hospital. There he is put into an iron lung and locked away by the hospital staff, who promptly forget to feed him. KoD starts starving to death inside an iron machine that is keeping him alive against his will. Crying every day, he wishes just to die.

Then, one day, a young boy from a local charity group brings KoD breakfast. There’s eggs, orange juice, coffee…and a bran muffin.

KoD eagerly eats the breakfast, having begun digesting his own stomach before being given the wonderful gift of food. He saves the muffin for last. He takes a big bite and begins choking. He passes out and dies from lack of oxygen.

However, the EMTs finally heard KoD’s cry! They bring in the jaws of life and a deliberator. AMAZINGLY, they actually bring KoD back from the dead! KoD managed to survive the terrible curse of the muffin! All is saved.

Unfortunately, whales are incredibly fond of muffins too. Wailord shows back up seeking the muffin and grinds everyone in the hospital to a fine paste. KoD is now a pancake and was, before being smashed into a breakfast food himself, Jessie, Town Aligned.

Eventually Silly’s Wailord killed itself after realizing its life as a reality TV star was meaningless. Silly’s other Poke’mon, Zapdos died of a heroin overdose.



Serena is drinking coffee peacefully. It is a luxury she will not have often.

Despite the caffeine, she drifts off into sleep.

She awakes to a beautiful woman.

Spoiler: Show
clearyjynx.png


The big, puffy pink lips…yes, Serena must give this woman a lovely kiss!

The making out is passionate and forceful. There is tongue on tongue action.

During this ungodly nightmare of mankind/poke'mon relations, a mysterious move is made. Jynx yawns incredibly loud - popping her cheekbones...which turn out to be whirling blades of death. Shocked Serena tries to escape, but Jynx bear hugs her into submission. In an instant the Jynx whirls Serena's tongue into a bloody pile of dust. Slowly, the electronic blades go deeper and deeper up Serena’s throat until finally reaching the brain. A few slices here and there…Serena has been given an involuntary lobotomy.

She stares into space aimlessly. She is of the living but her spirit is gone.

The odd Jynx continues its plan. It vomits out several eggs into the now living corpse of Serena, via oral entry. They hatch into little Jynx maggots and begin to feast on Serena’s non-vitals. Slowly, the maggots begin to mature while eating out the inside of the still breathing, lobotomized Serena. They keep her alive in order to sustain the body as a food source – ensuring to eat an unimportant muscle, a vestigial pancreas…she’ll stay fresh longer if her heart still beats…

It’s too horrible to watch anymore. All you need to know is that she was Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her remaining Poke’mon, Gengar and Mismagius died alone in the wilderness.

Television informs you Glare has the orb now. It then flips to some local news about a ship being fired upon. Bored, you watch aimlessly until you hear a gunshot.

A random Suicine had it's brains blown out. The exit wound is the size of your fist. You try to apply medicine but you realize duct tape can't fix the hypothalmus.

...

TL;DR:

* Silly Dragons died as James, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Wailord and Zapdos. He was obliterated by Rayquaza.

321wailord.png145zapdos.png

* King of Dominaria died as Jessie, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Skitty, Gengar and Beedrill. He was crushed by Wailord.

300skitty.png094gengar.png015beedrill.png

* Serena died as Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her Poke'mon were Gengar and Mismagius. She was given a Lovely Kiss.

094gengar.png429mismagius.png

* A Suicine died.

245suicune.png

* Glare has the Orb.


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5 years ago  ::  May 15, 2008 - 10:21PM #39
will_a
Date Joined: Mar 2, 2008
Posts: 8
Since the Primordials were imprisoned at the end of the War, one could also have a campaign where the Primordials break free. It can begin with a war on the material plane, with giants and titans and other such creatures on the one side and dwarves, humans, elves, and the like on the other. From there the war could escalate all the way up to the Primordials breaking free and the Elemental Chaos waging war with the Astral Sea.
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5 years ago  ::  May 16, 2008 - 5:40AM #40
Zinger2099
Date Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2,742

will_a wrote:

Since the Primordials were imprisoned at the end of the War, one could also have a campaign where the Primordials break free. It can begin with a war on the material plane, with giants and titans and other such creatures on the one side and dwarves, humans, elves, and the like on the other. From there the war could escalate all the way up to the Primordials breaking free and the Elemental Chaos waging war with the Astral Sea.


Using this idea and mixing it with the earlier mentioned time travel idea would work. Primordials break free after ages of imprisonment, they seek to change history so that they won the primordial war. Players try to stop them and fail, so they must go back and fix things?

It's a possibility.

My Mafia No Lie Policy.
Talking about the Tomb of Horrors.
Previously Run Games Show
Quotes I liked Show

Apr 24, 2011 -- 9:31AM, shadowfyre77 wrote:

dude, zinger, you are awesome.

yeah.

Apr 13, 2011 -- 4:18PM, Tevish_Szat wrote:

Zinger . . . 10/90 - If he bussed his don as a scum rolename cop while faux dug his grave attacking the claimed cop d1... well, if he fooled us all to lylo he deserves to win.

Apr 15, 2011 -- 1:03PM, Ragnalesca wrote:

Zinger was the star of that game, don't you deny it

Jan 12, 2011 -- 2:35AM, fcjamison wrote:

Soon is a funny creature with a highly variable pupal state, after which it becomes the beautiful creature known as now. Sometimes this metamophosis takes as little as a day, and sometimes it takes several months. Occasionally, the creature enters hybernation after chrysalis begins, and it may be several seasons before the metamorphosis is complete. Occassionally, the creature dies while in the pupal state without warning, and waiting for now to emerge becomes a lesson in futility. This is also seen in the creature known as later, and waiting for both soon and later to become now can be a frustrating process.

Feb 2, 2011 -- 2:44AM, scylis wrote:

Knowing is Half the Battle.
The Other Half is VIOLENCE!

Imagine a lightsaber duel between Optimus Prime and Batman. You're welcome.

Jan 31, 2011 -- 9:13AM, Just_a_cleric wrote:

Will add that I think Zinger is just a new 'type' of mafia player that doesn't really play by our standards and therefor still leaning towards town for now based on the way he plays in other games and it's seemingly the same (and I can't really see him as scum in all of them).

Jan 28, 2011 -- 10:07PM, Zipperflesh wrote:

.45 magnum + bullet + computer screen = problem solved

Best Death-Post Ever by ProphetKing Show

May 31, 2010 -- 11:58AM, ProphetKing wrote:



The sun rises – and then is blown away by the fierce wind.

All over the world, dark clouds cover the sky. The atmosphere is covered in a dark iron curtain of cumulus. Thunder pours from the sky as if it mere rain and it hails daggers onto the ground. The people hide in fear, of whatever ungodly evil has been summoned by some fool.

The Great Guardian of the Sky, RAYQUAZA, has been summoned.

And he has come for Silly Dragons!

(Right Click - > View)

RAYQUAZAAMEN.png

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Silly lay dead, once known in life as James, Town Aligned.

Now that Silly is dead, there is a calm. Once again all is right with the Heavens above.

But on Earth violence remains. King of Dominaria weeps over the loss of the one of his heart. He decides to end it all. He grabs an Arbok and shoves it onto it his neck. “BITE ME – END ME!” The snake does as asked and fills KoD with an exotic, incurable venom. He collapses.

Enraged and vicious, the snake systematically begins killing KoD’s poke’mon. Gengar and Beedrill are brutally slaughtered in an attempt to fight back. Skitty wisely tries to run away, but is easily taken out after Ekans discovers an underground gopher hole to pop out of. With great wide unhinged jaws, the snake swallows Skitty whole.

In great sorrow after the death of his owner, Silly, Wailord begins to look for his own lover – Skitty. It is a little known fact but whales and cats actually can interbreed in the pokemon world. Here is a graphic image illustrating this relationship.

Spoiler: Show

Wailord_X_Skitty_by_YellerCrakka1.jpg


At noticing the scent of Skitty in the vicious Arbok, Wailord goes nuts. He begins flopping around on the land and foaming from the mouth. He turns into some kind of suicide berserker and just throws his body haphazardly into anything. Mountains are crushed, caves are demolished, the earth is sundered. And Arbok is turned into a purple fruit roll up.

Meanwhile, KoD is suddenly feeling better! “I must have a natural immunity to snake poison or something. Wow…that was certainly sad and all, but y’know, I don’t think I’ll kill my – OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT STAMPEDING WHALE!”

It was like dropping the Moon onto an ant. KoD never stood a chance.

…wait, maybe he did! The blowhole! KoD managed to become a modern day Jonah and avoid certain dead by smashing. He begins to live inside the whale itself, starting a farming community on the great beasts tongue. Mostly living out of self grown mushrooms plucked from his own horribly unhygienic body and drinking whale saliva to survive, KoD is…well, still suicidal. But clinging onto life.

However, one day the great beast yawns. KoD tumbles back into the digestive system. His skin is flayed away by acid. Miraculously, he survives as some kind of horrible walking pile of muscles. Then…in the most horrible, disgusting way imaginable…he manages to escape from the whale using a secret exit.

Of course, the local insects also like what came out of the whale’s secret exit. They find KoD and decide he’d be much better with several stings and bites. KoD becomes violently ill from malaria and begins puking. Unfortunately he loses a lung in the process and has to be rushed to the hospital. There he is put into an iron lung and locked away by the hospital staff, who promptly forget to feed him. KoD starts starving to death inside an iron machine that is keeping him alive against his will. Crying every day, he wishes just to die.

Then, one day, a young boy from a local charity group brings KoD breakfast. There’s eggs, orange juice, coffee…and a bran muffin.

KoD eagerly eats the breakfast, having begun digesting his own stomach before being given the wonderful gift of food. He saves the muffin for last. He takes a big bite and begins choking. He passes out and dies from lack of oxygen.

However, the EMTs finally heard KoD’s cry! They bring in the jaws of life and a deliberator. AMAZINGLY, they actually bring KoD back from the dead! KoD managed to survive the terrible curse of the muffin! All is saved.

Unfortunately, whales are incredibly fond of muffins too. Wailord shows back up seeking the muffin and grinds everyone in the hospital to a fine paste. KoD is now a pancake and was, before being smashed into a breakfast food himself, Jessie, Town Aligned.

Eventually Silly’s Wailord killed itself after realizing its life as a reality TV star was meaningless. Silly’s other Poke’mon, Zapdos died of a heroin overdose.



Serena is drinking coffee peacefully. It is a luxury she will not have often.

Despite the caffeine, she drifts off into sleep.

She awakes to a beautiful woman.

Spoiler: Show
clearyjynx.png


The big, puffy pink lips…yes, Serena must give this woman a lovely kiss!

The making out is passionate and forceful. There is tongue on tongue action.

During this ungodly nightmare of mankind/poke'mon relations, a mysterious move is made. Jynx yawns incredibly loud - popping her cheekbones...which turn out to be whirling blades of death. Shocked Serena tries to escape, but Jynx bear hugs her into submission. In an instant the Jynx whirls Serena's tongue into a bloody pile of dust. Slowly, the electronic blades go deeper and deeper up Serena’s throat until finally reaching the brain. A few slices here and there…Serena has been given an involuntary lobotomy.

She stares into space aimlessly. She is of the living but her spirit is gone.

The odd Jynx continues its plan. It vomits out several eggs into the now living corpse of Serena, via oral entry. They hatch into little Jynx maggots and begin to feast on Serena’s non-vitals. Slowly, the maggots begin to mature while eating out the inside of the still breathing, lobotomized Serena. They keep her alive in order to sustain the body as a food source – ensuring to eat an unimportant muscle, a vestigial pancreas…she’ll stay fresh longer if her heart still beats…

It’s too horrible to watch anymore. All you need to know is that she was Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her remaining Poke’mon, Gengar and Mismagius died alone in the wilderness.

Television informs you Glare has the orb now. It then flips to some local news about a ship being fired upon. Bored, you watch aimlessly until you hear a gunshot.

A random Suicine had it's brains blown out. The exit wound is the size of your fist. You try to apply medicine but you realize duct tape can't fix the hypothalmus.

...

TL;DR:

* Silly Dragons died as James, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Wailord and Zapdos. He was obliterated by Rayquaza.

321wailord.png145zapdos.png

* King of Dominaria died as Jessie, Town Aligned. His poke'mon were Skitty, Gengar and Beedrill. He was crushed by Wailord.

300skitty.png094gengar.png015beedrill.png

* Serena died as Lt. Surge, Town Aligned. Her Poke'mon were Gengar and Mismagius. She was given a Lovely Kiss.

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* A Suicine died.

245suicune.png

* Glare has the Orb.


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