1598) Always carry a bottle of something strong. Few guards will accept a bribe; fewer will turn down a drink.
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else." -Umberto Eco, from Travels in Hyperreality
"The first adventurer was a nuisance. I am sure he acted against his mother's, his wife's, and the council of old men's strict orders when he did it; but it was he that found where the mammoths die and where after a thousand years of use there was still enough ivory to equip the entire tribe with weapons. Such is the ultimate outline of the adventurer; society's benefactor as well as pest." -William Bolitho, from Twelve Against the Gods
1601: Any plan that depends entirely on the enemy guards being incompetent, blind or dead is not the Plan A.
1602: Always check a magic weapon before equipping it. If you found it in the Big Bad's lair, there's always a 90% chance it's cursed, and a 9% chance it's completely useless. The last 1% covers the possibility that the item is important to the plot/dungeon, that it's useful and that it's not cursed.
1603: Even if the rules allow it, you shouldn't cast Invisibility on the bridge if you're the only one who knows where it is.
1604: Even if the rules allow it, casting Light on the Assassin to let him see better is going to ruin his chances of sneaking into the palace.
1605: No matter how high you roll on your knowledge Skill Checks, you're not going to be handed the Monster Manual so you can see the enemies' stat blocks, so don't waste your turns that way.
1606: Regardless of what the rules say, using Prestidigitation to create illusory fire all over a peasant warrants an alignment penalty for scaring the peasant.
1607: If you're playing a Wizard, and you don't know what to use your last action on, cast a Magic Missile at a minion. In 4.0E they don't require a roll and they are only Minor Actions making them a waste not to use.
1608: Don't cast fire-spells while standing on a wooden bridge. Especially if the wood is soaked. It will turn out to be covered in a highly flammable oil, and you will regret it for the rest of your character's life.
1609: Make sure to either be an excellent combatant or just a likeable person. This way, there's a slightly higher chance of your allies paying (with your gold) for you to be revived in case you die.
1610: Always make sure to be on your party's healer's good side.
1611: Always make sure you are not near the party's maximized character during an encounter. The Dungeon Master will try to kill him and everyone around him. (unfortunately my character was riding on his shoulders.)
1612: Stay away from the party's thief. He will try to steal something from a party member, and that member will have a grudge on the thief for the entire campaign, no matter how small and cheap the item.
1613: Nothing is immune to the barbarian throwing the gnome at or over it; wether it is a hallway of traps or a fleeing enemy.
1614: Always have a personal weapon mentioned in your background. The Dungeon Master usually won't let a rust monster eat your character's grandmother's greatsword. ( When the party Assasin/Sorcerer tried to steal my character's totem from me, I just told my Dungeon Master about how it had the feathers of my character's dead ostrich pet/ spirit companion. Since we were in the treasure room my character immediately found a toe-ring of protection from thievery.)
1615: No matter how cool it may be never tell your Dungeon Master an extremely good strategy before you do it. It only gives him time to prepare.
1616: Avoid playing the op races. It makes the party hate you along with the Dungeon Master.
Guys, i am currently in the process of copying and pasteing the constents of this thread into word and soon (hopefully) i will edit it for order and find some way to destribute it for easy download by the community, if you want to encourage me just post a humerous compliment or something.
I look forward to the finished product neo. Anything I can do to help?
Would you happen to know how i can put this on the internet or forums so that others can down load it? I thinking ill just copy and past the whole thing with s[blocks] then a person could copy and past into there own word proscesser. btw, it 112 pages, 1616 survival tips.