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my wednesday group plays with crit hit & fumble rules.

about a month ago my 3.5 warlock was trying out his newly retrained invocation: eldrich glaive.

regretfully i rolled a 1. then failed a 2nd attack roll (the failure confirmation roll) and was told to draw from the fumble deck... (we have a crit deck too)

Double damage to adjecent ally... roll random ally next to me... rogue or paladin... rogue of course and now damage... 42... rogue is dying and bleeding.

at least i managed to kill the enemy on the backswing of the 2nd attack so the pally could stabilize the rogue long enough for the cleric to heal.

Me and a group of my friends were playing 1st edition and were trying to escape using a series of tunnels. Two of my friends jump down into a tunnel and find a drow waiting for them. Both of the PCs rolled 1's and dealt damage to themselves. Then it was the drows turn and he rolled a 1, confirmed the crit, and was using a blade with sharpness. Rolled the decapitation dice and it was full body.

Our DM explain it like this:
As you jump down into the tunnel you're confronted with a menacing looking drow. With your weapons drawn each of cuts their wrists and arms before battle to try and intimidate him. The Drow doesn't want to be out done so he exclaims, "Is that the best ya'll can do? Watch this!" He then takes his sword and commits Seppuku. He thrusts his sword clean into his side and drags it all the way across. At this time your other members jump down after ya'll and see the drow's guts spill all over the place!

My group used to have mean fumble rules. As in, you shatter your waepon on a one.

This was 3.5

My 11th level illusionist had just died a ridiculously embarassing death (fell off of a bridge in an antimagic zone, eaten to death by gargoyles) and I rolled up an 11th level fighter that was min-maxed to the hilt. Two flaws, monkey-gripped large heavy keen adamantine poleaxe, huge strength, high dex, combat reflexes, improved trip, improved sunder, power attack, combat brute, etc. I was there to trip people and then break their stuff, hardcore.


Seriously, before buffs, I was rocking 3d6 +15 damage a hit, without taking power attack (x3 your str if you'd set up with the combat brute feat). It was ugly.

I died 5 minutes after joining the party. We came out of a tower, were faced with a necromancer, a legion of mooks, and a mid-level fighter. This was how it happened:

Round 1-I drink a potion of enlarge person, move
Round 2-double move (lots of ground to cover)
Round 3-Hit with an enervation (an empowered one) for 4 negative levels.
Round 4-Hit by the Invisible Green Hag Assassin with a death attack. That was poisoned. I then proceeded to roll a natural 1 on the poison save, thus taking 2d6 con damage, for a total of 11 Con damage. Then I got to roll the save vs. the death attack. Rolled another natural one. Flavor description stated that I got my throat ripped out as the green hag spit bile down the exposed hole.

To be fair, in another game, my neutral thief/priest burned the DM's PC's keep down, and got him killed while going on a wild goose chase. But really? Really folks?:rolleyes:

Everyone else at the table was pretty taken aback by the INVISIBLE GREEN HAG ASSASSIN that just showed up. Didn't see her on the notes when I peeked later, either. :rolleyes:


-----The ninja story was good, too.

In a recent campaign i started the PCs began in a maze made by the Adventurer's Guild to train new recruits. In one part of the maze, a gnome asked riddles in exchange for magical rewards. The halfling rogue decided that logic wasn't his strong point and lit the gnome's beard on fire, demanding the gnome's help in exchange for extinguishing the fire.

Flash forward a few sessions, and the gnome returns as a big bad with a serious grudge against the PCs, and designs another death maze for them, this time devoted to killing them once and for all (especially the halfling). Since he hates the halfling so much, the dungeon is filled with tricky traps and locked doors with especially negative consequences for anyone who attempts and fails to disarm them. Obviously a few of these end up harming the halfling.

My favorite one was a poisoned needle. The effects? Every time the character rolled a natural 1 on a physical d20 roll (attacks, physical skills etc.) he sh@t himself. I've never seen anyone roll so many natural 1's in a single session. The stench got so bad that by the end of the dungeon, the dragon boss wouldn't even attack the halfling and instead targeted other PCs who didn't smell like . . . well, s**t.