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5 years ago ::
Nov 18, 2008 - 7:16AM
#201
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Date Joined:
Aug 16, 2001
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But 2 separate characters nominated for Best Clarity? I think Sasha is left from last time, clearly.
Gah! I copy/paste the previous contest's posts (starting and ending) to save myself time. And yet, I always seem to miss something. 
John Ling
Freelance Writer/Editor
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5 years ago ::
Nov 18, 2008 - 7:23AM
#202
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Date Joined:
Aug 16, 2001
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One thing that always gets me is that I seldom score well on Clarity (or at least, I never get nominated for it). If I may ask the judges, what, specifically, could be done to further improve the clarity of my entries?
I'll look through my notes a bit later, though I put most of my notes into my comments. But I'll review what I have, tell you what score I gave you in clarity, and try to explain why.
One thing you do that I like is only two sblocks, one for crunch and one for fluff. I can tell you that without looking at my notes.
John Ling
Freelance Writer/Editor
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5 years ago ::
Nov 18, 2008 - 11:44AM
#203
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- Hero Craftsman Gold Medalist
Date Joined:
Sep 29, 2005
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Well Mercurius, I really don't have a lot of complaints about your Clarity. Sblocks mean basically nothing to me. When I copy to word, those disappear. In fact, the only note worth mentioning on sblocks is that sblocks within sblocks can be frustrating, since I might not open them, and then a portion of your character sheet won't copy over.
Your attacks section is the really nice, concise style that I prefer.
You also do a good job of breaking down everything in your entries.
What you run into isn't that your Clarity is poor, but rather that other people just do a little better. I think the most likely cause is this: you make very complex builds.
Complex builds are always harder to check than simple builds, so when I have two high scores for Clarity (actually more, this is hypothetical), and I can only nominate one... I'm probably going to go for the "simple" build since it easier to check, all other things being equal.
Please don't feel like I'm insulting you, btw... the idea I'm kicking around in my head for HC#19 is currently going to require 6 source books... complex builds are fun, but in a Clarity race, they lose to simple builds quite often.
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 7:43AM
#204
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- Hero Craftsman Gold Medalist
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First of all, sorry to the judges, I didn't realize you guys took this thing that seriously or I'd have done the same. Also, now that I know that you guys don't mind tons of backstory, I will do better in that regard also. I just threw in the basics, 'cause I figured you wanted short and sweet. Enough to explain why it fit the contest and nothing more. Also, runner up for best in Thematic Creativity! :OMG! That's what I entered for, I'm glad that you thought it was that cool. Thanks! Zherog
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Yeah, I realized some of the mechanics mistakes after I posted, but I didn't realize I'd made such a pig's ear of it! XD
It's funny you would say that he should have been ranger, because as a character that I'd actually played, that's what he was, Ranger and Rogue. I made him a fighter instead because of the feats that he can take to improve his weapon use.
Yeah, it's easier to crunch all that time training and beating monsters to a single scene or two in a comic or movie, so I just left that part. I was working from my rough drafts and a level thirty-eight (Devin's real level) character sheet. Some stuff should have been translated much better.
I put that in because in a fighter's background in my games, I like a player to show me why the character can use what they use. Especially if the background is non-military. I figured seven years of constant training would do the trick.
As far as evil, he is, starting out. I ran into a few problems there, because he ends up as good, but it takes some time. I wasn't sure how much he had changed by that level. Not as much as I thought. Also, I put in the part about the priest of Heironeus because the DM that ran this character loves drama and made me chase down said priest because he'd been infected with vampirism and was sneaking around making more of them throughout the church.
Devin is in high epic levels, both the character I played and in the comic book, so Fortula is an actual speaking character. They had some interesting times at first. Between Burt and Fortula, Devin is eventually steered down the path of good.
Also, yeah, I realize the "parents dead" thing is kind of an booger flicker, but it's the only thing that makes sense. They needed to be dead for Devin to be anything but a tinker. He wouldn't have been nearly so close to his sister if they hadn't had to rely on each other for everything. JOH
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I like to keep animal companions no matter what class I happen to be playing. I have always had cats and dogs around me, and it sort of melts over into my character quite often. Gorgon is an old alley cat that I had a chance to make friends with when I was younger. He'd be pleased to know that he lost none of his grouchy charm.
I never thought of giving the old fellow cat food. He just eats whatever Devin eats. That's not to say he doesn't give Dev a chomp once in a while, though.
Yes, it's almost completely certain that Brulaxis will be long gone by the time Devin gets there, but there is a family reunion later on. Sister shows up as a Marilith with the lich template and the story shifts focus, but at level nine, Brulaxis is still the hunted. Thanks to the judges for wading through all that! Now that I know what you guys expect, I will do much better.
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 8:19AM
#205
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Date Joined:
Aug 16, 2001
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 11:27AM
#206
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Date Joined:
Aug 16, 2001
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One thing that always gets me is that I seldom score well on Clarity (or at least, I never get nominated for it). If I may ask the judges, what, specifically, could be done to further improve the clarity of my entries?
OK, I've had a chance to go back through and look at stuff. First, I'll say this: I didn't score you badly in clarity -- in fact, you tied for the third-highest score I gave out in the category.
I liked Jason's theory, and so I checked into it. Sure enough, the two entries I had scored higher than you were both single-classed entries. So I do think there's something to that. A simpler entry makes it easier to verify. In addition to that, you're one of the few contestants who takes advantage of the rules in MIC for adding abilities to certain items. I agree those rules are useful, but it's just one more thing to check. The fact that you provided a footnote is great -- I didn't have to flip through the book to find those rules again. But I think that the extra checking probably does play an impact.
You do a lot of things I like in formatting.
- You keep sblocks to a minimum.
- You use "white space" to break up sections such as ability scores, saves, attack routines, and so on.
- You use some simple formatting like bold to make text stand out in appropriate spots.
- Your background reads like a story, has few spelling and grammar errors, and effectively uses white space to prevent "wall of text" syndrome.
some things that probably hurt your score a bit, aside from the complexity: - I had trouble with your skills. Giving a break down is a great help, but I generally try to verify first before checking how the contestant did it. And I spent a long time going over your skills.
- More a style thing than a problem, but I prefer the LIST tag instead of prefacing a line with a dash, like you did with equipment and stances.
And I think that last point hits on something key. As you know, a lot of the judging criteria is purely subjective. Rules Use is probably the most objective of the categories; everything else really relies on the whim of that particular judge. For example, while I don't like a lot of sblocks, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to hear from a judge who is thankful when somebody uses lots of them to present smaller chunks of data. You can also take heart that I've never scored particularly well in clarity either - or, at least, I've never been nominated for "Best Of" with any of my characters.  Hopefully, that helps a little bit. In the end, I don't think you do anything wrong. It's just a few other folks seem to have a slightly cleaner style of presentation.
John Ling
Freelance Writer/Editor
PM for availability
VCL for General Gaming and play-by-post groups
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 1:48PM
#207
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Date Joined:
Oct 12, 2003
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You'll have a hard time surpassing the length of a jennibert entry. :D
It wasn't THAT long.
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 2:28PM
#208
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Date Joined:
Aug 16, 2001
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Not this time. Go back and look at some of her past entries, though.  
John Ling
Freelance Writer/Editor
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VCL for General Gaming and play-by-post groups
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 2:30PM
#209
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Date Joined:
Oct 12, 2003
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Not this time. Go back and look at some of her past entries, though.
Not until I'm done with my background for HC19, since I don't want to get destracted from that
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5 years ago ::
Nov 19, 2008 - 2:56PM
#210
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Date Joined:
Aug 16, 2001
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Good idea. The length of some of them might not leave you enough time to finish your character! :angelhide
John Ling
Freelance Writer/Editor
PM for availability
VCL for General Gaming and play-by-post groups
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