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1 year ago  ::  Apr 25, 2012 - 11:41PM #5681
Matyr
Date Joined: Jun 19, 2004
Posts: 2,726
During our game someone asked the ranger if they were ok with a particularly sensitive situation.

PC1: You alright with this?
PC2: Meh, **shrugs**, in a perfectly level voice: "I won't kill you in your sleep."
PC1: You know there is no way you can say that without it being a threat...

Examples that followed from PC1: (Best if said aloud with inflection on bold parts)
Spoiler: Show

I won't kill you in your sleep.
I won't kill you in your sleep.
I won't kill you in your sleep.
I won't kill you in your sleep.
I won't kill you in your sleep.
I won't kill you in your sleep.
I won't kill you in your sleep.
Currently working on making a Dex based defender.  Check it out here
Spoiler: Show
Need a few pre-generated characters for a one-shot you are running?  Want to get a baseline for what an effective build for a class you aren't familiar with?  Check out the Pregen thread here
If ever you are interested what it sounds like to be at my table check out my blog and podcast here
Also, I've recently done an episode on "Refluffing".  You can check that out here
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1 year ago  ::  Apr 27, 2012 - 6:40PM #5682
Alcyius
Date Joined: Mar 24, 2012
Posts: 5
In our current campaign, I'm playing as a Warforged who was previously an elf(Warforged's brains got blown out, I got put in and then kersploded against the side of a planet and was in a coma for 250+ years), and I as the DM if I was a virgin before I became a Warforged.

DM: Roll a luck roll.
Me: High *Rolls 16*
DM: *Rolls 9* No, you weren't.
Me: But I won the luck roll!
Party:
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1 year ago  ::  Apr 27, 2012 - 9:35PM #5683
JacobK
Date Joined: Apr 24, 2012
Posts: 17
In my campaign we went to the shadowfell and came back into contact with a nemesis that had previously evaded us (he conveniently showed up right after a huge fight where we used out dailies). We had just participated in a set up fight where people were betting, so we were surrounded by civilians watching. Nemesis jumps in and starts fighting us. Once we had the upperhand, some people (assuming the nemesis' allies) started shooting arrows at us.

The wizard of our party (my father in real life) seems to get really ticked off at this. He starts to get up from the gaming table to get a drink, as soon as he stands up DM says "Robbilard, your turn. what do you wanna do?"

Wizard: "I wanna magic missle this **** in the back of the crowd!!"


Another adventure we were in some caves, where certain parts had been built up by dwarves. We also had a dwarf NPC with us.Walking down a dwarven built hall, My char. takes a step on a stone/tile and we here a "click". I immediatly stop moving because we know it is a trap and try to disable it. We do skill roles and check out the room for 30 minutes in real time to find out how to disable this trap. We cant figure anything out, so our ranger says "I ask the dwarf with us if he has any ideas"

DM (as dwarf) "Yeah, you just gotta flip this light switch looking thing right here.."
*whole group face palms*
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1 year ago  ::  May 01, 2012 - 6:46PM #5684
EnglishLanguage
Date Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 4,946
In our Saturday game, my Half-Elf Battlemind tied up a harpy he defeated and interrogated her by smacking her with a rotten shark liver.
He had said shark liver because he decided to fish while sailing to the island said harpy was fought on and caught a shark. After they ate, he tore 10 teeth out of the shark and cut out it's liver which started to rot by the time we fought the harpy. 
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1 year ago  ::  May 12, 2012 - 10:31AM #5685
awaken_D_M_golem
Date Joined: Dec 22, 2006
Posts: 2,655
I forget the exact details, because this happened a decade ago, but it's pretty much accurate.


The DM was being sneaky, and the PCs were just figuring this out.

PC with True Seeing : " HE'S GOT EXPLOSIVE RUNES IN HIS PANTS !!! "

PC with Max Perform : " ... and he's HAPPY to see you !! "


Everyone howled at the truth of all three details. 
The damage rolls were relatively painless.
my kitty avatar's Royale Lineage ---> http://static.neatorama.com/images/2009-09/original-keyboard-cats.jpg

new helpful bg/mmx refugee locale ---> http://www.ruleofcool.com/smf/index.php/topic,632.0.html
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1 year ago  ::  May 12, 2012 - 1:05PM #5686
xerovene
Date Joined: May 12, 2012
Posts: 43
I play a Deva Cleric in a very odd 3.5 group. The VERY FIRST TIME I EVER PLAYED this happened.

DM: *describes surroundings as we enter a tavern at the very beginning of the campaign*
Everyone: *walks around, talks to the bartender, tries to find a quest*
Me: I think I'm going to roll gather information and try to find out more about the area by talking to those who seem to be wearing adventuring clothing.
Cornpuff the Half-orc fighter(OOC): Holy crap the newbie's smart!
Me: *rolls pathetically low number*
DM: Everyone you talk to is drunk. 
-----
Group is in an underwater civilization (with rings of water-breathing) in the throne room, I have used summon monster to ride a porpoise around.
Dwarf Wizard: I'm going to seduce the fish-princess.
DM: *Glares* Fine.
Dwarf: *rolls and fails*
Me: My porpoise is going to seduce the fish princess. *natural 20*
-----
*in a volcano*
DM: There's a door-
Cornpuff: Is it wooden? Can I smash it?
DM: No, it's solid stone and completely unlocked.
Me: I open the door.
DM: Okay, in the next room there are three doors-
Cornpuff: Are they wooden? Can I smash them?
DM: We're in a cave in the middle of a volcano! The entire place is scorching hot and you're walking on platforms over lava! There are no wooden doors! Period!
Cornpuff: Are you sure they aren't wooden?

I'm sure there are more, I'm just blanking right now.
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1 year ago  ::  May 17, 2012 - 1:39PM #5687
Highspade
Date Joined: Dec 18, 2005
Posts: 4

Mar 4, 2012 -- 1:14PM, DangerVanPelt wrote:

First campaign I ever played in, we bust up into a room with some orcs interogating a halfling. After mopping up all the mobs (and in 2 turns i might add) The halfling has time to catch his breath and stand up before immediately being grabbed by the throat by our barbarian who slams him against a wall and starts shouting. "ARE YOU OK?!"





20 rounds to kill a few orcs?   I would be angry as well.



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1 year ago  ::  May 17, 2012 - 9:17PM #5688
Daethon
Date Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 61
AD&D
Ashe, psionicist after using mindfry on a minotaur:  You can have the legs; I'm going to eat the horns.

Chezare, magethief and little brother:  You know mindfry doesn't actually involve heat?  He's still raw...
Parenthood: Gain rage class feature.  While enraged, take ongoing psychic damage equal to half the child's level.  Dealing damage while enraged is against your Code of Conduct and you will be depowered.

  ^^Wow, is that really how I came across in that personality thing or was this chosen at random?
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1 year ago  ::  May 17, 2012 - 11:57PM #5689
Matyr
Date Joined: Jun 19, 2004
Posts: 2,726
Situation:
Players enter a building, fight some stuff and find the entrance sealed behind them.  After looking around they find the only way is heading down a long shaft that ends at a door that opens out at the bottom of a cliff face.  In that canyon are several hundred vampires.  Players take one look outside and go "well, we aren't going that way" and head back inside back up the steps the the original building.

Player 1: Well, the walls of the building are probably not that thick, even if they are stone.
Player 2: I think the climbing kit comes with hammers, if someone has a climbing kit we can start to hammer away at the walls.
Player 3: I think I have a climbing kit.  Oh wait I'm a pixie I fly.
Player 4: I break some of the stuff in the room to make hammers and use the tent spikes to hammer into the wall.
DM: After several hours of working at the wall you see no progress.
Player 1 to player 3: I think these walls are DM re-enforced....

Ahh... rails.
 
Currently working on making a Dex based defender.  Check it out here
Spoiler: Show
Need a few pre-generated characters for a one-shot you are running?  Want to get a baseline for what an effective build for a class you aren't familiar with?  Check out the Pregen thread here
If ever you are interested what it sounds like to be at my table check out my blog and podcast here
Also, I've recently done an episode on "Refluffing".  You can check that out here
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1 year ago  ::  May 18, 2012 - 12:25PM #5690
Jario
Date Joined: May 18, 2012
Posts: 6
The Cleric solves a moral problem: "We don't need to be evil... just thorough"
Jare’io-Harotamycolan, son of Umbar-Harotida
Master Detective and Prophet of Sins
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