So, after some characters got captured by gnolls, two players are retiring their old characters. So one character is getting eaten by gnolls. One of the rescuing party + new characters casts Burning Hands, and opts to include the old character among the blast (to catch as many enemies as possible). He then claims, "That's how the mage would have wanted to die - with people burning with him all around."
Another one:
Elves: it's kind of hard to tell the gender without having them drop their pants.
So today o, our alternate campaigne, With a Half Orc monk who has a foul stenche and have "pet" flies around him, a Elf ranger bimbo, a Dwarf Warladin, and a Bard named Jack Rackham( who's a obvious clone of Jack Sparrow) and me with my Vryloka Blackguard.
So long story short, we get into catacombs full with Zombie...Pirates...
There is also Canoneer Zombies..., with canon in their stomachs who shots canon balls at us!
So after clearing a few rooms, we end up in a room with over 180 Skeletons&Zombie Pirates..., so...while we laughed at the idea to take them all on and grind the xp..., Jack Rackham did the smartest thing...he asked for Parley.
So we are bringed before Captain Barbossa, while over our heads we can see the underbelly of the Darker Pearl..., yup the ship was brought into the catacombs and embeded into the ceiling..., don't ask why, the GM himself din't know why...
So Jack and Barbossa goes on, on a argument on wich of them is the captain of the Pearl, just like in the movies, before facing Barbossa and "little" Jack, who here is not some little monkey, its a freakin Undead Gorilla!
SO here the figth goes on a bit like with the 5man raid of the Champions in Northfend in WoW, the encounter with the Dark Knight...
One normal form, a skeleton form and a specrtal form, who when he saw that his ass is being handed to him try to phase through the ceiling, at wich point the guy who plays Jack make us notice that thus he takes 5 OA's...
So yeah the Boss, who was meant to be a comeback etc was nearly killed...
So we go on in the catacombs fighting droves of Zombie pirates, our Ranger gets killed 3 times( we made a special NPC for those who died, Morty The "joyous" Grim Reaper, who once you have cleared a puzzle or enigma, you would come back alive with half our HP)when we endin a room, with 8 Zombies and 4 Skeletons
Now the weird part here is that each skeleton not only did a burst1 attack when bloodied, but also when killed..., and damn did they hit hard... the DM did some high dmg rolls, killed the Monk, who did a good amount of dmg, he failed his 3 try's with Morty so death for good.
He decid to reroll a Warlord, we continue to the next room, where we finnaly meet with Barbossa and 6 of the Skeletons who gave us a hard time...
And we there is only four of us left.
So after a hard and long fight, where 2 of my buddy's where brought down to negatif, and i had in midts of combat to pour some potions in their mouth to bring them back also the Warlord Dragonborn of the other guy joins in( he was brought prisoner and thight up), we finaly kill the darn pirates, and i was left with 14 HP and the others where at 2 or 5 HP!
The DM admited that we faced 6 lvl 6 and a lvl 8...we where lvl 4 and one lvl 5...
So we got out of the catacombs end up in a tower, and on one of the floors, we foudn 2 human mages in a room, we are behind the door, the elf chick tries to open the door...the wrong way, and jammed her fist in it, at that moment the first human mage who is behind the door, kicks the door, and Jack who was standing in the way of the door, got his nose broken!
So once the door open the Warlord, jumps in, makes an attack bulls rush the guy, making him flying across the room at the other end of the table, while his comrade is standing there dumbfound and pissing himself.
So the Dragonborn goes to the other guy and says" You,... its in your best interest that your answers to all of my questions if you don't want me to chop your head off and that i eat your innards..."
Dm rolling-" Yup okay...he is so intimidaded that he is **** himself..."
During that time the other guy gets up and try to hurl a fire ball into the door frame where the rest of the group was standing, at wich point the elf chick used an interupt and literraly put an arrow through the forehead of the guy..., ded on the spot...
Dm-" The other guy is now completly emptied of any fluids and is begging for his life"
We get some intel from him, he give us all his belongings and while we are discussion what we are to do with him, he teleports out of the tower!
The name of the guy who fled was Noahgro and the guy who died was Alwaiss Han'Gri...
We go a few Floors up and we end in the Boss room, the final Boss of this quest!
So he sit on a chair with 3 creatures and a stranger undead abomination.
We charge in...and kill in 2 rounds the Undead Abomination..., and we are all looking at the Dm like WTF?...
Us" What lvl was he?" Dm " Lvl 10..." Us" What?!" US" and the others?" DM" Lvl 6 and the Boss lvl 8"
Next round, i and the warlord charges the boss, hits him both, and we see the DM making rolls behind his screen with a really dissapointed face. Us " Whats going on, what you're doing?" DM"...Death saving throws..."... US" Oo?!?"
DM" ...i hate you guys..." in a soft disheartend voice ^^.
SO after meeting with the Changling( or is it doppleganger in english?), we did actually enter in fight mode, and was near killing him, because he can't forfeit his disguise willingly during combat(at least the rules arn't clear on it...)
So we had to make Insight rolls, wich 2 or 3 of the team failed, so he took a bit of damage, then i finaly got a satisfactory Insight roll and stoped the fight and clearing the misunderstood situation. We go into a Rp discussion as to why we would allow a Dopplegagner(assassin) to join our team.
SO he goes like" well the best way to prove it to you, is to prove my worth and my talents, so i propose a duel".
We are okay with it, and the Warlock wants to go first,...we are all a bit worried, because in a 10 square large space, the assassin will have the upperhand.
So we sets a few rules,all damages done are non-lethal( so no death saving throws, you count as having succed it), and when a fighter is below Bloodied value he can forfeit if he wish.
So the match begins, without a surprise the assassin, gets the Initiative and dashes to the Warlock, and he hit him, and use his Infernal Rebuke feat to push the assassin back, and luckily the dmg roll of the assassin wasn't high.
So when the Warlock turns comes up, he uses his encounter power, Flames of Phegetos i believe, and...crits!
But not only does he crits, the Doppleganger guy forgot to spent some Healing surges to resplenish his HPs..., so yeah Win for the Warlock.
After that you would expect that admist the laughing of the groupe he would stop it and we will continue our route...
But he asked for another duel, and so he dueled every member of the group...and lost miserably each time...
Not only was he sent flying across the hills by the Barbarian who tried to hit him with the flat of his sword and critted and sent him hurling into the trees, but he was badly molested by the Warpriest of our group, who also got a crit of one of her encounter power, and with the addition of items effects got him to 0 hp in 3 turns. He got his ass handed to him by the Jedi wannabe and i nearly annahilated him into oblivion...
Not to say that he was pretty much dissapointed with his rather OVERFAILED attempt to look cool and the fact that we where laughing our **** off, din't help...
DM-"...soooo..., you're an assassin right?, din't know they sucked this hard^^!"
Playtesting a Zoids RPG (it's still in early alpha test). The key character: Father Michaels, a gun-toting priest with an eye patch. The situation: we just won the day.
Father Michaels: Let us not forget that we could not have won without help from the Lord. And so let us stop to offer thanks to Him Above. For it is right to give thanks and praise. *Puts on Journey's "Anyway You Want It."
We summoned a devil once. All we used was the D&D books, too. It was pretty kwazy.
God of Arrested Development and Intelligence Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Pie-Cooling-On-A-Windowsill of the House of Trolls In the morning HK'll be sober but you'll still be a meatbag. I know I misspell "Danke" in my posts. It's an inside joke. "Ten cents gets you nuts." -George Michael Spoiler:Show
''Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening.'' —Bill Clinton
You are not a moral man. There are not enough middle fingers in the world for you.
"Heroes"...I wish I had those. I remember in my first-ever campaign one PC went around shootin all the unconscious baddies in the head to gain Dark Side Points...
Whaaaaaat?!??
Wow...way to waste perfectly good potential slaves.
Er...no wait I mean..uh...something not evil!
(Quotes screwed up on the next one, won't give the poster's name. It's in the Best Lines thread on the D&D forum)
First, an experience from a game I played in a few years back. Our DM didn't like 3.5 as a whole but liked parts of it. So he hands us a big ass rules packet for his modified FR campaign, complete with quotes from important NPC's on the front. I can't remember most of the HRs, just that some how gods like Cyric and Bhaal existed at the same time, despite the obvious problems there. In the end the game became a problem more because of the railroading than the HRs, but it ended with this classic line, after our ranger tried to disarm the strange woman following us WITH HIS BOW: DM: You just killed (insert random noble sounding name here) JP: Was she important? Jack: Dude, she's quoted on the front of the rules packet!
"Why in the wide,wide, world of all things irrational would I help you? -Daniel Jackson "Fun will now commence." -Seven of Nine
Cut the last encounter on your way out after dealing with the Darth. He's the BBEG. Treat him as such. Play up that Darth Revan is THAT much of a badarse. When the shuttle landed, I had no less than 13 JEDI MASTERS step off the shuttle. The PCs were slack-jawed. After the meetup with Bastila (as she's carrying Revan's body), only TWO jedi masters remained with her. Let me tell you, the player whining about not getting to fight Revan himself shut up pretty quickly when he saw that.
1. Cleric cast protection from fire on Tank. 2. Tank goes in and get surrounded by enemies. 3. Wizard cast fireball and blows them up. 4. ??? 5. Profit
I go by the saying," If it ain't friendly fire then it's not working."
Not so much a line, but we're in a campaign to go into the Nine Hells and dethrone Asmodeus(for various reasons. One guy wanta to take over in his place, one person is looking for his daughter's soul, I'm a historian from the future coming to record a supposedly major event that happend).
4th Ed
So we went up against Baal, Lord of the First Layer, and before he died, I readied an action to use Lost in Time(Level 20 Time Bender Daily) on him when he dropped, then when it went off, he got hurled out of the timestream. Sicne he was below 0, he can't make his saves and is floaitng through time. Then as a joke, the DM mentioned he might end up in the far future where they have the technology to heal him. Then I laugh and say he'd probably come after us with future tech to try to get revenge. The DM then paused and thought it sounded cool, so he might try to work it in.
F-111 Interdictor Long (200+ squares) distance ally teleporter. With some warlord stuff. Broken in a plot way, not a power way. Thought Switch Higher level build that grants upto 14 attacks on turn 1. If your allies play along, it's broken. Elven Critters Crit op with crit generation. 5 of these will end anything. Broken. King Fisher Does an excellent job at keeping an enemy disabled in a few ways. Strong. Boominator Fun catch-22 booming blade build with either strong or completely broken damage depending on your reading. Very Distracting Warlock Lot's of dazing and major penalties to hit. Overpowered. Pocket Protector Pixie Stealth Knight. Maximizing the defender's aura by being in an ally's/enemy's square. Yakuza NinjIntimiAdin: Perma-stealth Striker that offers a little protection for ally's, and can intimidate bloodied enemies. Very Strong. Chargeburgler with cheese Ranged attacks at the end of a charge along with perma-stealth. Solid, could be overpowered if tweaked. Void Defender Defends giving a penalty to hit anyone but him, then removing himself from play. Can get somewhat broken in epic. Scry and Die Attacking from around corners, while staying hidden. Moderate to broken, depending on the situation. Skimisher Fly in, attack, and fly away. Also prevents enemies from coming close. Moderate to Broken depending on the enemy, but shouldn't make the game un-fun, as the rest of your team is at risk, and you have enough weaknesses. Indestructible Simply won't die, even if you sleep though combat. Sir Robin (Bravely Charge Away) He automatically slows and pushes an enemy (5 squares), while charging away. Hard to rate it's power level, since it's terrain dependent. Death's Gatekeeper A fun twist on a healic, making your party "unkillable". Overpowered to Broken, but shouldn't actually make the game un-fun, just TPK proof. Death's Gatekeeper mk2, (Stealth Edition) Make your party "unkillable", and you hidden, while doing solid damage. Stronger then the above, but also easier for a DM to shut down. Broken, until your DM get's enough of it. Domination and Death Dominate everything then kill them quickly. Only works @ 30, but is broken multiple ways. Battlemind Mc Prone-Daze Protecting your allies by keeping enemies away. Quite powerful. The Retaliator Getting hit deals more damage to the enemy then you receive yourself, and you can take plenty of hits. Heavy item dependency, Broken. Dead Kobold Transit Teleports 98 squares a turn, and can bring someone along for the ride. Not fully built, so i can't judge the power Psilent Guardian Protect your allies, while being invisible. Overpowered, possibly broken Unnamed Avenger|Runepriest/Hammer of Vengance Do lot's of damage while boosting your teams. Strong to slightly overpowered. Charedent BarrageA charging ardent. Fine in a normal team, overpowered if there are 2 together, and easily broken in teams of 5. Super Knight A tough, sticky, high damage knight. Strong. Super Duper Knight Basically the same as super knight, only far more broken. Mora, the unkillable avenger Solid damage, while being neigh indestuctable. Overpowered, but not broken. Swordburst Maximus At-Will Close Burst 3 that slide and prones. Protects allies with off actions. Strong, possibly over powered with the right party.
We summoned a devil once. All we used was the D&D books, too. It was pretty kwazy.
God of Arrested Development and Intelligence Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Pie-Cooling-On-A-Windowsill of the House of Trolls In the morning HK'll be sober but you'll still be a meatbag. I know I misspell "Danke" in my posts. It's an inside joke. "Ten cents gets you nuts." -George Michael Spoiler:Show
''Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening.'' —Bill Clinton
You are not a moral man. There are not enough middle fingers in the world for you.
"Heroes"...I wish I had those. I remember in my first-ever campaign one PC went around shootin all the unconscious baddies in the head to gain Dark Side Points...
Whaaaaaat?!??
Wow...way to waste perfectly good potential slaves.
Er...no wait I mean..uh...something not evil!
(Quotes screwed up on the next one, won't give the poster's name. It's in the Best Lines thread on the D&D forum)
First, an experience from a game I played in a few years back. Our DM didn't like 3.5 as a whole but liked parts of it. So he hands us a big ass rules packet for his modified FR campaign, complete with quotes from important NPC's on the front. I can't remember most of the HRs, just that some how gods like Cyric and Bhaal existed at the same time, despite the obvious problems there. In the end the game became a problem more because of the railroading than the HRs, but it ended with this classic line, after our ranger tried to disarm the strange woman following us WITH HIS BOW: DM: You just killed (insert random noble sounding name here) JP: Was she important? Jack: Dude, she's quoted on the front of the rules packet!
"Why in the wide,wide, world of all things irrational would I help you? -Daniel Jackson "Fun will now commence." -Seven of Nine
Cut the last encounter on your way out after dealing with the Darth. He's the BBEG. Treat him as such. Play up that Darth Revan is THAT much of a badarse. When the shuttle landed, I had no less than 13 JEDI MASTERS step off the shuttle. The PCs were slack-jawed. After the meetup with Bastila (as she's carrying Revan's body), only TWO jedi masters remained with her. Let me tell you, the player whining about not getting to fight Revan himself shut up pretty quickly when he saw that.
1. Cleric cast protection from fire on Tank. 2. Tank goes in and get surrounded by enemies. 3. Wizard cast fireball and blows them up. 4. ??? 5. Profit
I go by the saying," If it ain't friendly fire then it's not working."
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