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12 months ago  ::  Jun 24, 2012 - 12:52PM #5711
Zhara
Date Joined: Nov 9, 2010
Posts: 194
In one of my first games of LFR, we had a really exuberant wizard with us who really really liked to know everything about a given mob in 1-4. It was a little annoying for everyone, because he would roll on every knowledge check, and basically no one else got a go at it. Eventually, we ran into something that he couldn't Identify. This is all paraphrased from distant memory. 


DM: As you come around the alleyway of tombs, you see a number of undead creatures surrounding a sntrange glowing tree-like-thing. the undead turn around, growling, and begin shuffling your way. As your party steeles themselves for battle, there is a sickening cracking sound of wood as the tree uproots itself and starts to shamble towards the party as well...

(Interrupting) Player: 22 religion for the undead?

DM:... (momentary pause, as he's realized the guy has interrupted him, again.) They're [insert generic MM1 undead statblock here]. Roll nature for the tree. 

The player throws a natural one.

Player: Zero. (Wiz dumpstat, fittingly)

DM: You are fairly certain that it's a Pony, a mythical creature you've never before seen, but it has legendary powers that outstrip that even of the unicorn. In your fevered excitement, you tell the entire party that you think it's one of the great and majestic ponies, and that you can't possibly harm such a beautiful and gentle creature. 
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 27, 2012 - 4:40PM #5712
Chaosrex
Date Joined: Mar 7, 2012
Posts: 146
Not really a personal thing, more of a video about something that might happen in a DnD game once i a while, but hilarious neverless.

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12 months ago  ::  Jun 28, 2012 - 6:53AM #5713
Pelletse
Date Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Posts: 229
Yeah! Farador is amazingly funny!
I'm playing:
Abin Gadon, Halfling Bard
Winston "Slurphnose", Gnome Sorcerer
Pasiphaé, Minotaur Shaman
Eglerion, Elf Ellyrian Reaver (Ranger)

DMing:
Le Trésor du Fluide (Treasure from the Fluid)
Un Royaume d'une Grande Valeur (A Kingdom of Great Value)
La Légende de Persitaa (Persitaa's Legend)
Une Série de Petites Quêtes... (A serie of short quests)

Playtesting:
Caves of Chaos

We're building the greatest adventure ever known to DnD players!

Also playing Legend of the Five Rings and Warhammer Fantasy.

Sébastien, Beloeil, Qc.
I am Neutral Good and 32 years old.
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 04, 2012 - 1:42PM #5714
Richardine
Date Joined: Jul 6, 2010
Posts: 50

Some quotes from various games:


 


Crit.


I Diplomacise the shark.


Wait, that plan actually makes sense.


We need to split the party, hear me out, this will work.


Belee masic!

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11 months ago  ::  Jul 07, 2012 - 2:52PM #5715
EnglishLanguage
Date Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 4,952
I summoned a Succubus to get into a cat fight with a Lamia and the dominated each other a few times. Good times.

Also mauled a Lich by summong a Magma Beast, a Succubus, a Chainbearer, and a Marilith(houseruled resource system) and pretty much demolished him with Instinctive actions
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 08, 2012 - 10:24AM #5716
Dursus
Date Joined: Jul 7, 2012
Posts: 21
The rogue of my group has a bizzare habit of attacking with Riposte Strike and then moving around to provoke opportunity attacks and attack again. Of course being a rogue he is rather squishy and during the final confrontation with some augmented flesh golems and bone-claws he was using this strategy and getting the absolute snot beaten out of him, below is what happened.

Rogue: I attack with Riposte Strike (hit) and I will move to provoke an opportunity attack

Ardent: (looks at group HP sheet) Ummm you only have 15 hit points left

Rogue: That's 14 more than I need!

or this little gem that comes up every encounter when the wizard uses his favorite ability: storm cage

DM: Okay its the monster's turn and he-

Wizard: (interrupting) Takes another 10 damage for being in the STORM CAGE!!!!!
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 10, 2012 - 11:28PM #5717
xerovene
Date Joined: May 12, 2012
Posts: 43
Our group had just entered a village of people we're very suspicious of and they are oddly accepting of us and offer us a place to stay for the night.

Female Hamadryad Ardent: (suspiciously) Do they attempt to split us up?
DM: They lead all the males to one room to sleep but since you're the only female and you're a hamadryad they give you your own space in a garden outdoors.
Hamadryad: (jokingly) Oh no, they're going to plant me!
Other Player: Yeah they're gonna plant you.
Innuendos rock.

Later at dinner our suspicions were confirmed when they poisoned us. Luckily our wizard (I believe he's sha'ir) rolled a nat 20 on his endurance and we have a deva invoker who doesn't have to eat, so they escaped. On top of that, my dragonborn with high strength and our assassin with high thievery managed to unlock our chains and break down the cage.

I haven't been playing DnD for a very long time, but I have to say this is probably the single most fun session I have every played in.
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 11, 2012 - 6:07AM #5718
Pelletse
Date Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Posts: 229
We were in a cursed castle, everyone in here was sleeping. We had to find what was happening. The only thing that could help us was the statue of a cat on the last floor of a tower. We could talk to him and he would answer...

We managed to wake everyone up after a couple of days and a guard came to us and asked us what happened...But before anyone could answer in the group, our rogue said:"The cat knows everything!"
The guard looked a bit puzzled, so I answered.
"Do you need a village idiot? We got one to give!"

This rogue ( Well, this player ) always bring stupidities like that. He doesn't try to be funny...He's just "like that".

He's also famous for this situation...

He and another player, Seit Tocs, were at a locked door and the rogue said:"We go at three, because two is better than one!"
Seit Tocs was so confused...
( Then while we talked about this...The door opened and monsters charged at us! )
I'm playing:
Abin Gadon, Halfling Bard
Winston "Slurphnose", Gnome Sorcerer
Pasiphaé, Minotaur Shaman
Eglerion, Elf Ellyrian Reaver (Ranger)

DMing:
Le Trésor du Fluide (Treasure from the Fluid)
Un Royaume d'une Grande Valeur (A Kingdom of Great Value)
La Légende de Persitaa (Persitaa's Legend)
Une Série de Petites Quêtes... (A serie of short quests)

Playtesting:
Caves of Chaos

We're building the greatest adventure ever known to DnD players!

Also playing Legend of the Five Rings and Warhammer Fantasy.

Sébastien, Beloeil, Qc.
I am Neutral Good and 32 years old.
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 13, 2012 - 9:52PM #5719
BRJN
Date Joined: Jun 7, 2001
Posts: 1,168

Jul 10, 2012 -- 11:28PM, xerovene wrote:

Innuendos rock.



During a D&D5 playtest I was playing the Dwarven fighter; a woman was playing the Cleric of Moradin.

Me (off-hand comment): Clerics take oaths of poverty and chastity.
Her (indignant): No I didn't !
Me: Well, you are as a Daughter of Moradin, and I'm not gonna make your father mad at me.
Rest of table:

Best complements I have yet received:
Spoiler: Show

Making it up as I go along:
{BRJN}
     If I was writing the Tome of Lore, I would let Auppenser sleep. But I also would have him dream.
     In his dreaming he re-activates the innate powers of (some) mortal minds. Or his dreaming changes the nature of reality - currently very malleable thanks to Spellplague &c. Or whatever really cool flavor text and pseudo-science explanation people react positively to.
{Lord_Karsus}
You know, I like that better than the explanations for the Spellplague.

My plot device: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/ … #489880509 (The reaction is the next post.)

Prepped ahead of time:
I started the thread "1001 Failed Interrogation Results"
{ADHadh}
These are all good and make sense!  I just can't come up with something that's not covered here and is not completely ridiculous.

My characters:
Spoiler: Show

Active Characters:
LFR Half-elf StarLock6     Gondolin Nightstar
AoA Dwarf Guardian Druid6     Narvik from House Wavir

Character A-building:
Neverwinter Dwarven Invoker / Heir of Delzoun / worships Silvanus (!)
"Truenamer" - speaks Words of Creation

Concepts I'm kicking around:
"Buggy" Wizard - insect flavor on everything
Halfling Tempest Fighter - just because nobody else is doing it
Shifter Beast-o-phile Druid - for PoL campaign
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 16, 2012 - 4:20AM #5720
Omnirahk_half-Rahkshi
Date Joined: Nov 12, 2005
Posts: 1,885
After the party comes in on a goblin chief's harem, things got a little off-topic:

"Why does Googling 'comely goblin wenches' turn up images or Thor from the movie?!"
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