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9 years ago ::
Sep 12, 2004 - 2:05PM
#21
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There are so many memories I have, but I can't seem to remember them! Here's one that comes to mind:
3.5, low level party. A human fighter who is an ex-fisherman (uses harpoons and what-not), a Neraph Ranger (this is a really cool race with no LA), and a cleric of nerull.
A barfight breaks out in the tavern we are all in. Y'know, people start fighting, breaking bottles etc. The PCs all join in. Everything is going well, 'till one of the drunks smashes Rusty Shackleford (the fighter) over the head with a bottle.
DM: "Okay, one of the drunks swings at you with a wine bottle." *rolls* "He hits you for 4 damage, and the bottle smashes into pieces."
Rusty: OOC "Lethal or non-lethal damage!?"
DM: "Lethal."
Rusty: "Okay." *rolls dice*
DM: "What are you doing?"
Rusty: "I'm impaling the guy on my harpoon."
DM: "What!?"
Rusty: *looks at dice* "Natural 20! Rolling to confirm..."
Everyone else: *stares anxiously at the rolling dice*
Rusty: "A total of 18, he's mine!"
DM: "Okay, you turn and impale the poor sap on your massive harpoon, he yelps a little then just gurgles and slumps over..."
The rest of the party members decided to start killing all the drunks. It was a blood bath. They didn't know the RULES of barfights (i.e., NO KILLING!).
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9 years ago ::
Sep 12, 2004 - 8:40PM
#22
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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This was in 2ed oriental adventures, My character was a bushi while 2 of my friends played a samurai and a shukenja (the 2nd edition version had a rule that shukenjas can't hurt anyone) We were trapped in another plane and the exit back home was in a small island guarded by a semi-divine dragon turtle and his amall army of giant crab spirits.
The leader of our group, the samurai, was negotiating with the dragon turtle and was actually about to convince him to let us enter the portal, when out of nowhere the shukenja....
Shukenja: "I open my bag and bring out the rod I found the other day"
DM: "Ok, it's a metal rod about 2' long topped with a blue crystal"
Shukenja: "I look if there is anything written on it."
DM: "There are some words etched on the side"
Shukenja:"Ok I read the words.....LIGHTNINGCRUSHES"
A chain lightning effect escapes from the rod and hits the water around the island, killing all the crab spirits and stunning the now mad dragon tutle. the shukenja and I run for the portal while the noble samurai is left to provide cover from the turtle's breath weapon
In another session with the same characters. While journeying to the frozen north, we (me and the samurai) were captured by tentacled ice creatures deep underground, with the shukenja the only one able to escape to the surface. At the surface the first thing he did was.....
Shukenja: "I bring out and use my dragon coin of wishing"
DM: "OK, a ray of golden light shoots from the coin up to the sky, where a
serpentine dragon appears (think dragonball) and asks for your wish"
Me and the Samurai together: " Great Thinking, ask it to teleport us out
of here"
Shukenja: (In a bold tone) "I wish for a weapon to defeat my enemies"
DM: Granted, heres a flaming mace. Farewell"
And so the holy shukenja (who cannot harm anyone) once again venturred underground armed with his +1 flaming mace, burning all the ice monsters on his way and freeing his captured companions :D
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9 years ago ::
Sep 13, 2004 - 7:03AM
#23
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Following a battle, where the elven rogue's love interest - a LG human ranger - charged recklessly into melee with a giant, trying to provoke an attack of opportunity so that the other party members could close unharmed:
Angry and concerned Rogue: Just what do you think you were doing back there, (w)itch??!!
Ranger, in a voice that could kick start the Ice Age: If you ever call me a (w)itch again, you'd better have your sword in your hand, because I'm going to draw mine and start swinging.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 14, 2004 - 10:31AM
#24
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Being attacked by Slaads.
2 of them in range of my Prismatic Spray, 4 Innocents in the way.
My mage: "Acceptable Collateral damage"
Proceeds to Cast on innocents.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 14, 2004 - 12:04PM
#25
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Back when the Dragonlance modules first came out, my monk got splashed by the Black Dragon. The GM gave me the stats for the elven prince the party meets once they get captured by the dragonkin, plus some background info on him.
We're currently in cages on wagons, getting carted off who knows where.
Me: Okay, once we get into the Qualinesti forest, I can use the 'forest-speak' of the Qualinesti Elves to let them know to break us out.
Other player: Yeah, sure, right, what are you, the King of the Qualinesti Elves?
Me: No. pause. I'm the Son of the King of the Qualinesti Elves.
Other player: Oh. Well, okay, then. I guess you can do that.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 14, 2004 - 1:49PM
#26
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*Female Rogue, realizing things are not as they seem with the cleric*Rogue: So, let me get this straight. I told the entire story of what happened between the emperor and myself, while drunk, to the sea elf who turned out to be one of the pirates we were looking for in the first place. Cleric: Right... Rogue: I then turn around, after being waylaid by the pirate and tell the whole thing to someone else... Who just happens to be a good friend of the emperor's. Cleric: Oh, I'm not a good friend of the emperor's. I have only known him for a little over 20 years. Rogue: But the emperor is only 31.  Cleric: Right, and my 21st birthday is next month. Rogue:  Cleric: I do know what my brother likes and dislikes. Rogue: :OMG! 
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9 years ago ::
Sep 14, 2004 - 3:17PM
#27
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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The Fighter, the fighter/rogue and the bard in a discussion (bit OOC):
Fighter on the incredible jump and tumble skills of the fighter/rogue:
"He has a Matrix-mode"
On her own whirlwind-attack:
"I have a blender mode"[/i]
The bard:
"And I have Depeche Mode"
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9 years ago ::
Sep 15, 2004 - 6:03AM
#28
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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The bard:
"And I have Depeche Mode"[/quote]
:heehee
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9 years ago ::
Sep 15, 2004 - 7:17AM
#29
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Takes some setup, bear with..
Barbarian: (walks into Scottish themed town tavern)
Man: What can I get you?
Barb: Are you wearing a dress?
Man: NO!
Barb: It looks like a dress.
Man: It's a kilt.
Barb: Not a dress.
Man: It's a kilt. Women wear dresses. This is a kilt!
Barb: A man dress..
man: (very angry now) It's a kilt and I suggest you remember it.
Barb: Uh...yeh..okay...
Time passes. Drinking. Waiting...
Woman: (runs into the tavern, weeping unconsolably)
Man: What's wrong?!
Woman: It's terrible...limb from limb...*SOB*...my poor boys
Man: No...say it's not so...tell me they're alright!
Woman: They've been killed!
Barb: Don't you mean kilt?
Shut down the game for 15 minutes.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 15, 2004 - 8:43AM
#30
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- Hero Craftsman Gold Medalist
Date Joined:
Feb 14, 2002
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The party of characters, including a generally belligerent elven ranger with a strength of 18 and a WIS and CHA at or below 10, are venturing into a dwarven fortress in an attempt to defeat the enemies that have taken up residence. They're being guided by an NPC gnome recruit who is actually a Strife Elemental (from the S&S books, but basically makes those nearby become very argumentative and possibly violent) who has affected all but the cleric and fighter at this point with its strife effect.
After fighting through several monsters and the gnome giving them next to no information about where they were heading (because he was "just a recruit" and didn't know the lay of the fortress), they come across a darkened hallway. Down the hallway, they see what looks like a faintly glowing sword (actually a gelatinous cube with a magic sword stuck in it) and the party, already beat up by Shadows, among other things, tells the gnome to check it out. The gnome refuses to go, since he's not likely to survive.
At this point, the half-elven bard suggests "throw the gnome."
So, the ranger grabs the gnome and chucks him down the hallway.
It was just classic. There are still jokes about throwing gnomes and, particularly, that if the players ever meet a badger who throws gnomes, they'll have found the reincarnation of that ranger (who died the same session to a party kill, actually).
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