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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 7:39AM
#1
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Every game has some great lines in it, one of the current games I'm in has had some great ones.... *Discussing the upcoming mission*Male rogue - We're not going to do it. It's stupid. Why should we trust these guys to do what they say. Additionally, why should we give them a dragon? It's just going to grow up and eat us! Female Druid - I'll sleep with you. Male Rogue - OK. *In an ancient burial mound, trying to rescue a baby "red" dragon for kobolds*Fighter - I am going to cut the rope bridge! Druid - NO! We need to use the bridge to get across and get the dragon! Fighter - There are goblins shooting at us from the other side! I'm cutting the rope! Druid - Don't cut the rope! Don't cut the rope! *RAWR*Druid - CUT THE ROPE! CUT THE ROPE! *After rescuing the dragon and now attempting to escape. 2 of the players have already been hurt by the writhing form of the baby WHITE dragon, painted red and are running off*Druid - I turn so that the dragon is facing the goblins. They won't hurt the dragon and he provides me with cover. DM - the dragon hits the goblin in front of you with his breath weapon and *rattle rattle* his claw *rattle rattle* and his bite. The goblin goes down. Druid -  :D I have a semi-automatic dragon.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 10:22AM
#2
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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I feel kind of sorry for people who don't role-play a lot, mostly because they miss out on the opportunity to have these kind of situations occur.
Recently I was playing a noble negotiating with another noble for permission to establish a trade post and a minotaur who was traveling with us accused me of coming to enslave them (he then told me a dromite PC convinced him that this was true). Me and the DM were a little tired, and we thought the dromite came in to laugh about it, so I asked the minotaur "You mean that dromite?" My friend informed us that he never entered the room, so the first thing that came to my mind and out my lips were "made you look?". Everyone laughed a couple of minutes afterward.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 10:44AM
#3
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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I was playing second edition and we were in undermountain and had been haveing a heated battle with some orcs out in one of the main halls where we drew some EXTRA attention (imagine that!!!) We had attracted a few hell hounds but our characters had NEVER seen them before so our DM was just giving a breif discription. something to the affect of small quadraped with big teeth and red eyes and brown fur....now we were entering hour 9 of our marathon game and it was like 2 am and i said "oh look, Gophers....with christmas lights!!!" we laughed and laughed about that one.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 1:00PM
#4
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Date Joined:
May 26, 2003
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I was running a campaign earlier this year. The PC's were in the process of saving a little village from a Drow raiding party that had decided to stick around for a while. The PC's didn't see the Drow right away, just their minions. The party managed to kill some orcs I'd modelled after their own characters (heh). The Ranger followed the tracks of the orcs and found a couple of Drow, standing around, waiting for their flunkies to return. He got to eavesdrop on the following exchange:
Female: Pah! Where are those oafs?
Male: Do you mean the orcs, mistress?
Female: Of course I mean the orcs, fool! An orc is a type of oaf!
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 1:16PM
#5
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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The party telling an NPC that Khelben Arsun Blackstaff is cheating with a married fellow LOWD, the clumsy with words dwarven fighter proclaimed " She loves the blackstaff" instead of "She loves blackstaff"
Needless to say we had to end the session there, we were overwhelmed with laughter and whipped out Munchkin.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 7:48PM
#6
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Date Joined:
Aug 28, 2003
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Well, directly I remember a couple easy to remember ones. I just dragged them over to this post from the Greatest One-Liners on the General Discussion page.
1. From a Ninja and Super Spies one shot adventure, my hero (the gun toting, Rambo like individual) was aiming his undermount grenade launcher at the record store in the mall. From behind him, his team member shots, "We are not supposed to damage the building!"
My characters only response, "I'll pay for it."
Then a nice and quiet KA-BOOM. . . .I got the bad guy though
2. In the climatic fight with the BBEG, the parties Knight and Ranger were fighting with the BBEG. The knight spent the entire time shouting taunts and snipets of the evil things the BBEG did when the two worked together. With a lucky called shot, the BBEG stabbed the Knight in the throat, slicing his larinx in half. With the sword still in place, the BBEG pulled the player close and whispered, "I told you to be quiet."
Real simple line, but it was the delivery, and the player still talks about that moment to this day. He was really thrilled when we later ran a campaign on the same world, and the first of the major NPCs he met was his old character, complete with the nasty scar and inability to talk.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 9:24PM
#7
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Date Joined:
Mar 15, 2001
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Can't go wrong with a classic that goes back to one of my first Basic-level games...
My Thief starts checking around to make sure everything's safe, catastrophically fails roll, the DM says "you all hear a grating of stone against stone..."
Eyes wide, my Thief turns back to the party "Oops?"
:D
(as a side note, nobody survived that one, and "oops" was the last thing they heard)
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9 years ago ::
Sep 10, 2004 - 11:59PM
#8
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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OK I got another one. My friend and I were playing with a more experienced group before we tried roleplaying with our own group. Anyway, he was a Sorcerer and I was a Rogue and we were trying to figure out what these two other PCs (a Barbarian and a Fighter) were doing in our city, so we trailed them all the way to the local cheap Inn and went to their door. My friend knocks on the door, not realizing we didn't know what to say. When they asked who it was, my friend responded "Room Service". Being the low quality inn that it was, they kicked the door down and my friend ran off, leaving me to roll up a new character.
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9 years ago ::
Sep 11, 2004 - 4:17AM
#9
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Ok, the group was coming up on the great cave wich was, undoubtly, holding a dragon (Grey, a variant of Black and White, don´t know how but the Dm told us ealier, it´s been 8-9 years) The last thing my character ever said, as he came up to the entrance was: "Oh, neat the entrance looks like a Dragons mouth"  And then I told the Dm: "I enter".  Need I say; the session was 9-10 hours old and I was the party thief. And it was not a entrance!! Evil O
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9 years ago ::
Sep 11, 2004 - 8:26AM
#10
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Date Joined:
May 28, 2004
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Okay, we were playing a 20th level game. The DM had decided to whip out the Tarrasque on our way to fight "bigger and badder" things. Oh, by the way, the Cleric had the Protection domain and the Saint template. The combat went something like this: DM: You see a gigundular bipedal creature with giant teeth, claws, and horns stomping towards the temple. Make a Will Save.
Cleric: Okay, 34. Does that make it?
DM: Yes.
Me (Bladesinger): Um, does 27 make it?
DM: Yes.
Ranger: Does 30 make it?
DM: Yes. Okay, roll for initiative.So initiative goes like this: Tarrasque, Cleric, Me, Ranger. DM: The Tarrasque rushes forward and attacks you (the Ranger). *rolls dice* He hits you with two claws and a bite. Make a Grapple check.
Ranger: Um, 15.
DM: You are swallowed whole.So, the Cleric activates a couple of buffs on himself and begins taunting the Tarrasque (yes, taunting), I cast True Strike in myself, and the Ranger cuts his way out of the Tarrasque's stomach. DM: The Tarrasque steps forward and attacks you (to the Cleric). *rolls dice* Make a Grapple check.
Cleric: No point, I want to be swallowed.
DM:  Okay. You're swallowed whole.
Cleric: I activate my 9th level domain spell, Prismatic Sphere.
DM:  Um, okay. Make a Spellcraft check.
Cleric: Does 53 make it? (We used the +10 from nat 20 roll rule variant.) DM: Yep.
Cleric: The save DC for the spell effects is (insert some ungodly high number).
DM: *rolls dice* Saves vs. Red. Saves vs. Orange. Saves vs. Yellow. Saves vs. Green. Saves vs. Blue. Saves vs. Indigo. Fails vs. Violet.  *rolls dice* Sent to the Nine Hells. *rolls dice* Sent to Asmodeus' personal residence. :OMG!  
Everyone else:  Needless to say, it was one of the more funny moments (especially considering that the DM mentioned he had wanted to include some plane-hopping the day before; I don't think he had just that particular situation in mind).
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