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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 12:48AM
#51
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Date Joined:
Mar 31, 2005
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703. "Bluevine" is a wine, not a curse.
704. Waking the captain by sloshing water in his face and yelling "We're going down, save yourself!" is not funny.
705. Unless he runs onto deck wearing only his boots and his Wally Warforged pajamas. Then its hilarious.
706. Warforged do not have ignition keys.
707. An air elemental powered airship is not a 'hybrid'.
708. Dont whiz on lightning coach conductor stones.
709. Dont swap a House Sivis sending stone for an ordinary rock.
710. Krakens dont make good calamari.
711. Rigging the privy lid with a Fire Trap is just wrong.
712. Funny, but wrong.
713. The Sphere of Annihilation is not to be used to play dodgeball.
714. Dont use beads of force to play marbles, either.
715. Musnt use the airship to write 'SURRENDER DOROTHY' over Sharn.
716. Flamekeep is still fair game, though.
717. Musnt reply to the bad guy's tirade with, "Oh, Im sorry, I wasnt paying attention."
718. and dont ask "Do you want fries with that?" either.
719. The bard is to refrain from singing songs by Celine d'Ion at all times.
720. We mean it.
721. There is no Sarah Connor, so I musnt send the warforged out to find her.
722. The airship is named Forgotten Freedom, not the Satellite of Love.
723. The Lord of Blades does not drink Mad Dog WD-40.
724. Blood drinking, evil, undead, soul-stealing horrors are VAMPIRES, not lawyers.
725. 'Ill hit the brakes and he'll fly right by' never works in airship to airship combat, so I should not try it.
726. The captain must not start each trip by shouting "NEXT STOP, XORIAT".
727. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 1:12AM
#52
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2001
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728. Whoever put the "We brake for no one!" bumper sticker on the back of the ship must step forward.
729. It is wrong to post bounties on law enforcement officials pursuing us.
(actually done)
730. Spreading tales of the "Head of Vecna" to kill competing but stupid adventurers is not a good way to clear the gene pool of deadwood.
731. Law enforcement personnel shall not be referred to as Inspector Zenigata.
732. The first mate is not a title for my concubine.
733. Neither is second mate.
734. Queen Aurala does not own a flying broom.
735. Throneport is not made of emeralds so stop telling the warforged that it is.
736. Inspector Gadget is not a Reforged with countless attachments.
737. It is wrong to try the "Would you believe" joke from Get Smart on villains.
738. It is wrong to spread rumors of Queen Aurala's demise.
739. Then introduce the "Ding Dong" song to the locals to sing.
740. No it is not concievably possible to make Queen Aurala hate us more.
741. Or King Kaius.
742. Boranal is still smarting over the duck incident.
743. Poor innocent Jaela has no idea...
744. It is wrong to polymorph dragons into bunnies that keep their hit dice and attack bonuses.
745. Even if you hire a wizard named Tim to warn people off.
746. Do not use Ghosts to age Jaela.
747. It is wrong to break the Manifest Zone with Sharn and the Plane of Air to kill everyone.
748. Especially for the EXP.
749. Oalian does not talk extremely slow nor does he have any draughts that will make you taller
750. Half-Orcs do not have larger genitalia and it is wrong to tell girls this.
751. Black Mages were not persecuted for centuries because of the color of their magic.
752. It is wrong to try and base a Drow on Malcolm X.
753. Even if he's from Xen'drick.
754. Do not point to the Seven Sisters as an example of how Aurala should behave.
755. Especially if you end the sentence...Slutty and Immortal.
756. The artificer does not have a Quori named Six in his head....or if he does, we're a little surprised she's so attractive.
757. No, we will not use a Spelljammer helm to invade Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 1:18AM
#53
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 1:32AM
#54
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2001
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Hahaha.
I believe that's 758 my friend.
;-)
759. I will not write Lymrics about the Queen of Aundair to make amends with her.
760. Especially not on the side of her castle.
***
As we near closure, anyone have any particular favorites?
Anyone have any fun influenced opinions on Eberron or adventuring? For example, never allow my players near your children?
;-)
I also want to thank all the contributors.
Anyone itching to try one or more of these?
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 1:40AM
#55
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Date Joined:
Apr 19, 2001
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Hahaha.
I believe that's 758 my friend.
;-)
759. I will not write Lymrics about the Queen of Aundair to make amends with her.
760. Especially not on the side of her castle.
***
As we near closure, anyone have any particular favorites?
Anyone have any fun influenced opinions on Eberron or adventuring? For example, never allow my players near your children?
;-)
I also want to thank all the contributors.
Anyone itching to try one or more of these?
Your players have an unhealthy obsession with jaela.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 1:48AM
#56
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Done? No idea yet.
Favorites? Most definately.
Your players around my kids? Never!
761. I will not ask King Kaius to shout out "Vae Victus(sp)" just for kicks.
762. I will not ponder out loud the similarities between him and some noble who was corrupted with vampirism by choice, used, and wanted revenge.
763. I will never, ever, ever again call King Kaius Batman. Especially not in his presence, and especially not while he is in bat form.
764. I will not sell tourists exclusive bridge building rights between the upper towers and Skyway.
765. Unless the Captain gets at least a 50% share of all proceeds.
766. I will not do a barrel roll.
767. I will not do a barrel roll.
768. I will not do a barrel roll.
769. I will not perform an aerial water drop to put out the temple of the Silver Flame.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 3:37AM
#57
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- Here be Dragons next 100 km
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770. The Glowing Chasm is not the latest manifestation of the Silver Flame.
771. It is wrong to tell Paladins this.
772. ...but if you can convince a few Cardinals, nobody we know will miss them.
773. There are no tribes of clawfoot-riding Halflings who wear beards, dark goggles and black leather jackets with studs on the back spelling out 'Khyber's Couatls'.
774. The Demon Wastes are not the Ashlands, nor does a Rakshasa Rajah named Dagoth Ur live in the volcano north of Ashtakala.
775. And even if he does, you are not the true Nerevarine.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 4:31AM
#58
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Date Joined:
Nov 10, 2004
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776. At the lightning rail station, you are not allowed to respond to the House Orien guards with: "Traveling papers? We don't need no stinking traveling papers!"
777. Kundarak Bank is not Gringots.
778. Even if goblins are sometimes employed there.
779. And there is no Diagon Alley in Sharn.
780. When surrounded by Xen'drik drow after stealing their ancient idol, speaking Jovitos will not save your party.
781. Nor can you command said drow to attack your rivals through hissing and sign language.
782. The following character concept is prohibited: A dwarf artificer who became an adventurer after discovering a Myconid Kingdom in Khyber by traveling through the sewer pipes of Sharn.
783. No character can cast fireball after eating a flower, regardless of concept.
784. You cannot stump Merrix d'Cannith by asking him: "What is the riddle of steel?"
785. Telling a warforged the answer to said riddle may cost you your life.
786. You shall not paint Riedran monoliths in bright colors.
787. Even if it is in accordance with your druidic holiday.
789. A warforged repair kit does not contain a hydrospanner.
790. The Mror Monument in the Ironroot Mountains is not the secret base of a world-wide police organization.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 6:22AM
#59
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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791 : Psion shapers ,went they conjure up an astral construct, DO NOT yell out "Astralmon, i choose you!" nor "I play Astral Warrior in attack mode!"
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8 years ago ::
Sep 24, 2005 - 7:40AM
#60
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792 We will not name the secret 'companionship club' we run out of the Silver Flame monastery "Flurry of Blows."
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