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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 2:03PM
#21
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2001
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Worry not, I'll fix mine
Great selection!
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 2:04PM
#22
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2001
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442. In Eberron, killing them because they are goblins is not encouraged...
443. Even if the vast majority of them are still evil.
444. Flumphs do not attach themselves to people's faces and lay their eggs until they burst out of a person's chest...
445. Even if that would make them a much better creature.
446. Singing I like Darguneese to the tune of "I like Chinese" will not win you friends.
447. No you CANNOT outdrink the dwarf...
448. Do not refer to Boranal as Azoun, Arthur, or Aragorn.
449. No Erandis D'Vol is not Fistdantilius' daughter or Skeletor's sister or the girl from the Corpse bride.
450. Stop spreading rumors that Merrix D'Cannith runs a chocolate factory with a Xen'drick orange gnome race and that you can get in by finding golden tickets hidden worldwide.
451. Marish the shifter girl cat is not McDonalds, no matter how many she's served.
452. Do not refer to Henchmen crew as "Red Shirts"
453. Do not play Taps when we're exiting the ship with the Henchmen crew just recruited.
454. We have a high enough fatality rate as it is, do not PK because you're having a really bad day at work and we've got a cleric with raise dead finally.
455. Alf is not our god nor is Long John Silvers our Temple. I don't even want to know how you came up with that link.
456. On a related note, Optimus Prime is not the warforged god and it is wrong to tell them so.
457. I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts, though I may kill you today
458 through 460. NO you cannot invent Gunpowder!
461. Singing "The Bare Necessities" is not a good way to endear yourself to a subsistence living Bugbear tribe.
462. Crew members Raistlin Majere, Drizzt Do'Urden, Kenshin Himora, and any variations on these above will be forced to fight to the death in a battle royal
463. And the winner's killed.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 2:21PM
#23
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Date Joined:
Mar 31, 2005
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464. You are not allowed to use a halfling to go 'Dino fishing'.
465. You are not allowed to use a Fireball to go Dino giggin'.
466. The party cleric is not "Dr. Feelgood."
467. You are not allowed to ho out the shifter girl for 5 sp per trick.
467. Its 10 gp per trick.
468. You are not dating the Daughters of Sora Kell.
469. Erandis d'Vol is not to be refered to as "Lichie Lich".
470. Or "That dried up old Lich."
471. You are not allowed to train an army of kobolds and name them "Tuckers Kobolds".
471. Even if your name IS Tucker.
472. The warforged juggernaut is NOT the ships anchor.
473. Nor is he the airships 'emergency brake'.
474. Fnord does not exist.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 2:43PM
#24
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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465) Getting the bard to play the Star War's theme and begging the cleric to tell you to "use the force" while you magic missle the portholes of enemy ships is expressly forbiden.
466) Suggesting to the captain that he aquire a regiment of Karnnathi dead for use as marines and rechristen the "Forgotten Freedom" the "Black Pearl" merits being marooned with a hand cross bow and one bolt on the Ring of Syberys.
467) Bards inclined to perform Wagner's "the Ride of the Valkiries" durring strafing runs will be sent below decks forthwith
468) Questioning Khalashtar crew members as to how "Harvy" is doing, wether or not they had a "prodigal room-mate" in college, or making any references to the possibility of their entire race being a bunch of paranoid
schizophrenics is frowned upon....even though its so true.
469) Use of divinations to see what Pontif Jeala is going to look like when she hits puberty is forbiden unless the rest of the crew is invited to see a well.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 3:16PM
#25
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2001
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470. "Cause we're pirates!" is not an excuse for any action I choose to do.
471. I do not fear a crocodile that took my hand.
472. The first mate is not to be referred to as Smee.
472. My mortal enemy is not Peter Pan.
473. We will not ask the artificer to build a laser sword with guns on it that shoots other swords.
474. If we did, I would own it.
475. Shooting a man in the face because he asked for my identification is not an acceptable response...
476. Especially when we paid for fake IDs.
477. Queen Aurala is not the villainess in the movie "Willow."
478. No referring to the Engine Room chief as "Scotty"
479. Even if he is from the part of Breland they wear kilts in.
480. Pirates cannot survive falls of a million feet because we're Pirates and thus awesome.
481. It is wrong to test this on others.
482, It is wrong to put on a hockeymask and take a machete to chase co-eds around Lakes or Universities.
483. I don't care if you were really drunk when you did it.
484. Being a shapechanged druid does not give you permission to hump people's legs.
485. Or any other part of their body.
486. There are no crocodiles in the sewers of Sharn.
487. It is wrong to add them.
488. We do not have phasers or photon torpedoes.
489. Prince Jurian will not be "hoisted by his own petard" whenever we find him.
490. The proper response for disobediance from the shifter is bread and water at meal times, not spanking.
491. Illithids do not worship "Great Cthulhu."
492. When attacking a Riedran Stronghold guarded by Beholders, Elementalists, and Martial Artists...we do not do our best to act out Big Trouble From Little China.
493. There is not only one true God whose name is Keith Baker.
494. It is wrong to tell Worshippers of the Silver Flame that they worship a bunch of dead feathered snakes.
495. Rakashasas are not to be referred to as "Tony"
496. Vengeance from the Boramar clan does not take the form of a Fish being deliverered in the coat of an enemy.
497. You are not going to convince the head of the Boramar clan that he needs you as a psychiatrist.
498. It is wrong to use suggestion to convince Prince Oargev he's gay.
499. Umbargen will not be referred to as "the shrill voiced drow wannabes."
500. The Keep on the Borderlands is not Little nor is it inhabited by a bunch of wholesome homesteaders
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 3:20PM
#26
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2001
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We should save these.
Anyone know how to make a webpage?
Maybe the Mod will put a link on one of the Sticky.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 3:22PM
#27
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Great list, had to crawl up to my chair several times again while reading this?
But... couldn't we discuss poin 64, please? Anyone who has ever seen the Monty Python and the Holy Grail knows that bunnies are largely understimated... So why wouldn't that be an option?
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 3:33PM
#28
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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Great List :D
501. Theres no such thing as Gnome Gninjas
502. Even if there were, the extra silent "G" doesn't make them any more deadly
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 3:36PM
#29
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- Here be Dragons next 100 km
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We will not christen our next airship any of the following:
[indent]The Hindenberg
The Titanic
Fireball XL5
Prometheus
Daedelus
Definitely not Icarus
Any numeral preceeded by any variation on the word 'Thunderbird'
Laputa
Cloudbase
Aundair Force One[/indent]
In addition, our service craft will be airskiffs. They are not shuttles, O-Wings, Raptors or Deathgliders. We will be buying the standard versions, not bribing or extorting Cannith artificers to build a set of custom vessels which can be joined together to form a giant humanoid construct. And they definitely are not Zigs.
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8 years ago ::
Sep 23, 2005 - 4:56PM
#30
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Date Joined:
Aug 10, 2009
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505: The Kalashtar Soulknife is not a jedi.
506: You will not use Unseen Servant in that manner. I don't care if it feels nice.
507: Kalashtar do not have a little angel and/or a little devil on their shoulder.
508: The Burning Ring is not your personal sandbox.
509: No, you cannot call LoB "Ah-nold, the Governator". It would inflate his ego.
510: You shall not call Clevis the Kalashtar Soulknife "Cleavage".
511: Even if I made it up.
512: Prince Oargev is not Aragorn.
513:The Skyway is not Laputa.
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