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4 years ago ::
Jun 25, 2009 - 8:31PM
#131
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296. (When you've got the bigger weapon: ) -"Nice 'sword'. When you die, can I give it to my little girl?"
”He is a precious stone. His eyes are priceless diamonds set in a perfect, smooth onyx. His hair is mythril, and his movements are flowing like mercury. If I possess him, I will be richer than I ever was. If I can claim him as my own...”
-Pippa Dragonsdaughter-
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4 years ago ::
Jun 26, 2009 - 8:31PM
#132
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Date Joined:
Jul 15, 2008
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Shakespearean taunts!
297. Thou spleeny motley-minded puttock!
298. Thou cockered milk-livered canker-blossom!
299. Thou impertinent fool-born measle!
300. I shall live to knock thy brains out.
301. Thou craven hasty-witted flax-wench!
302. Thou dissembling tardy-gaited popinjay!
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4 years ago ::
Jun 26, 2009 - 8:55PM
#133
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Not sure if this has been posted previously.
303. (To an Archer/Ranged opponent) Would it help if I stood still for you? I could paint a target on my chest and everything.
304. (After being hit with a fire spell, a character with a desert origin) Summer in the desert is hotter than your fire. I appreciate the reminder of home.
305. (Not really a taunt, used after you've been hit with a weapon/attack similar to your own) Told you mine hurt worse.
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4 years ago ::
Jun 28, 2009 - 4:05AM
#134
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Date Joined:
Jun 24, 2009
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306. Yeah, that was -really- painful  307. Congratulations! You have won the dummy (can't think of much else to rhyme with emmi :P ) award for most epic failure! 308. Hey, my life just flashed before my eyes! No wait.....nope, it was yours. 309. Yeeeeaaaahhh....while you're trying to do whatever it is you're doing with that sword/dagger/spell, mind if we shift a little to the left? My legs are cramping up. 310. Oy! Stop bleeding on me! 311. So a fighter and a cleric walk into this bar right? So they order a...hey don't die just yet, I'm not done!
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4 years ago ::
Jun 28, 2009 - 5:33PM
#135
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(Shamelessly borrowing from Edmond Rostand's "Cyrano de Bergerac")
312. Fool! Pray the gods, lords of all / receive your soul, for your time has come! / Beat, pass! I fling you aslant, asprawl! / Then, as I end the refrain, thrust home!
(And this one is from "The Princess Bride")
313. You miserable, vomitous mass, you warthog-faced buffoon!
Cattle die, kindred die, every man is mortal. But the good name never dies of one who has done well.
Cattle die, kindred die, every man is mortal. But I know one thing that never dies: the glory of the great dead.
- Hávamál
D&D 4th Edition Bard builds: The Dashing Swordsman, The Master of Sound and Illusions, The Warrior Skald
Captain Morality! (No point in not having fun with it. ;-))
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4 years ago ::
Jun 30, 2009 - 6:16PM
#136
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313: (Usable only on female enemies): I've dated girls uglier than you for breakfast!
314: I'm going to shove my fist so far down your throat you'll have to drop your pants to shake hands.
315: (taking a cue from above) I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll have to clear your throat to fart!
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4 years ago ::
Jun 30, 2009 - 7:36PM
#137
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Date Joined:
Jan 17, 2009
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314: I'm going to shove my fist so far down your throat you'll have to drop your pants to shake hands.
haha, this one made me chuckle.
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4 years ago ::
Jun 30, 2009 - 8:59PM
#138
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Date Joined:
May 25, 2009
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I've dated girls uglier than you for breakfast!
You date girls for breakfast?
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4 years ago ::
Jun 30, 2009 - 10:09PM
#139
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You date girls for breakfast?
Well, the joke is he's mixing two completely unrelated taunts, and...
Oh, what's the point? You probably got the joke and said it to make another joke. Sigh.
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4 years ago ::
Jul 01, 2009 - 2:41AM
#140
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276.get my brow pants!!
You should post the whole joke behind that one so the ones who haven't seen that bit will get it. Besides, it's hillarious.
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