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4 years ago ::
May 20, 2009 - 1:47PM
#131
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Date Joined:
Mar 12, 2006
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197. What the hell is TiVo?
Your patron requires eyes and ears in the material realm, and you fit the bill. So, in exchange for your power, your patron has set things up so anytime he wants to know what's going on, he can watch all your memories like TiVo. But in order to keep those memories available for him to watch, they've got to be stored somewhere. Easiest place is in your brain. As a result, you remember everything. Everything. Everything. Since you signed the pact to gain your power, you haven't forgotten a thing. Not one breath, one step, one drop of rain. You remember every face you've seen, every word you've overheard. The words to every song, the number of cobblestones in every street, the smell of every fish market you've walked past. Sure, it's nice to be able to recall important facts, but who wants to remember every little detail about that toothache? Or the time you took that crossbow bolt in the leg? Or almost freezing to death on the road during that rainstorm? Or getting burned in that grease fire? Or watching the love of your life get hacked apart by orcs? You haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in a while.
Some things are worth forgetting.
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4 years ago ::
May 24, 2009 - 10:00AM
#132
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Date Joined:
Apr 26, 2009
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198. I see dead people...
For you, to see the face of a man is to see how he dies. You see warriors with arrows piercing their rotting faces happily swigging ale in the tavern, farmers' dessicated corpses, covered in plague boils, tending the fields, and to-be-shipwrecked sailors cough up bloody water every time they open their deathly blue lips. You cannot know when or where these people will meet their end, and you certainly cannot prevent it, but your Patron has decided to keep death at the forefront of your mind.
199. This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but a Warlock
After signing your pact, you spent a week at the end of existence. Not only did you to witness the dying remains of your world, but you also were required to 'push the button' (you will not reveal to others what that entailed) and watch as the stars were snuffed out, one by one, till the universe was simple darkness once more.
200. Crank me up
You must be on a constant adrenaline rush for your powers to work/to stay alive. From mooning an ogre to deliberately using all your healing surges before the encounter with the Dragon, you are constantly putting yourself in exciting, dangerous and sexy places to keep on going.
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4 years ago ::
May 24, 2009 - 11:19AM
#133
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Date Joined:
Jan 15, 2009
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201: No Impulse Control You received great power, and it seems like you didn't lose anything. That is, until you call the innkeeper daughter a *****, or punch the sahugain cheif in the face, or hit on the Avenger in your party. If you feel it, you do it.
(I used this for my Gnoll Starlock :D)
Shaman: "Why doesn't the squirrel shoot the wizard?"
DM: "Because the last squirrel who tried to shoot the wizard missed, then was pulled out of his tree and incinerated."
Wizard: "He has a point."
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4 years ago ::
May 24, 2009 - 6:53PM
#134
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Date Joined:
Nov 14, 2002
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202: Phenomenal Cosmic Power: You live in a small, mundane, object like a bottle which you can't come out of unless it's holder performs some specific action- such as rubbing or polishing it.
You can't touch the object, but can (as a standard action) put yourself inside it if you are adjacent to it or it's holder. Being inside this space is uncomfortable, cramped, and claustrophobic- which makes it difficult to be comfortable... Which is particularly annoying since the holder can force you into it with a simple word.
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4 years ago ::
May 24, 2009 - 7:15PM
#135
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Date Joined:
Sep 14, 2006
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Hell's Kitchen - You are required by your infernal master to keep snacks around for any devils you run into. Low blood sugar really gets in the way of soul harvesting.
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4 years ago ::
May 25, 2009 - 8:12PM
#136
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Devil In Law 204.: You gained more from your pact than simply the ability to scourge your enemies with hellfire and brimstone. You gained something that you never really had before-a mother. Unfortunately, this matriarch that your patron has assigned to you is far from the "bake you bread and kiss your boo-boos" variety. She constantly berates you about your appearance, about how you're "just like your no good father" (regardless of whether or not she knows your biological father), and actively wondering "when you'll settle down and have kids". It's not clear to you why Asmodeus choose to burden you with such a shrew, but perhaps it's because he got tired of hearing her nag him.
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4 years ago ::
May 26, 2009 - 12:49AM
#137
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205: I could tell you, but then.... It is something that bugs you a lot, but you aren't allowed to talk about it to anyone. It really helps if the player has a good idea of what it was, though.
206: Sing for your supper You don't have to rhyme, but your fey patron loves music, so you have to sing instead of speaking normally (BLOW - away..an Orc today with a RAY of eldritch lightning blast...)
207: Vicarious living You patron experiences all the things you do, or bottles them of something. Either way, they want you to catalog as many experiences as possible for the collection. Sleep with a nymph? Got it. Eat worms.... oh dear...can I fry them first?
208: the first born is back You had to give up your first born before you got your powers. You might have even needed to create said first born...the old fashioned way..with your patron. This pact comes with a free side order of guilt, even if that child never comes calling.
209: Friends to the end You patron actually likes you. No strings. No muss. No revenge. You were childhood playmates until your imaginary friend gave you some serious hook-up.
210: Not the guy you invite to parties You have a really annoying quest.... like collecting knock-knock jokes or talking about how great your patron is to everyone within earshot.
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4 years ago ::
May 29, 2009 - 4:34AM
#138
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Date Joined:
Jun 26, 2002
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This one was inspired by an issue of House of Mystery...
211: The 25th Hour For you, the days are 25 hours long. And during that extra hour, you witness the world being torn apart by all manners of fiends and monsters, who destroy cities, burn forests and slaughter people and animals, including your loved ones. By the hour's end, when the world has been all but annihilated, they turn on you and tear you apart...
...And you come to back where you were before the 25th hour, as if nothing has happened.
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4 years ago ::
May 29, 2009 - 2:23PM
#139
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Date Joined:
Jan 29, 2008
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212: The Doublet System
As a condition of your pact, and for your patron's action, his opposite number has empowered someone on this plane to be yours. Unfortunately, if they die, so too do you. Moreover, because your patron and his opposite number are gigantic dicks, (not literally, unless dealing with star pact entities) your opposite number is your exact sexual idea, and visa versa. If your ideal is something inexplicable, the pact warps it until it's your opposite number as is.
213: The Narrator
Your patron, for whatever reason, is something of a storyteller. He narrates your life. Constantly. And you can hear it. But only you.
Oh Content, where art thou?
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4 years ago ::
May 30, 2009 - 12:09PM
#140
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Date Joined:
Apr 20, 2007
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This one was inspired by an issue of House of Mystery...
211: The 25th Hour For you, the days are 25 hours long. And during that extra hour, you witness the world being torn apart by all manners of fiends and monsters, who destroy cities, burn forests and slaughter people and animals, including your loved ones. By the hour's end, when the world has been all but annihilated, they turn on you and tear you apart...
...And you come to back where you were before the 25th hour, as if nothing has happened.
I've heard of something like this going on in a video game.
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