Just looking for some ideas on what a warforged can do while sitting on watch while the rest of the party are sleeping.
Preferably no 'pranks' on the party unless of course there really funny :D
To start us off-
1. Whittle Wooden sculptures to sell in town
2. Sharpens team mates weapons
3. Turn ladders into 10 ft poles for profit
4. Paint portraits of the party... sleeping
5. Catch and cook breakfast.
6.) Step on bugs.
7.) Review instruction manual.
8.) Play fetch with the Ranger's Beast Companion.
9.) Ponder the nature of the universe
10.) Ponder the meaning of life
11.) Ponder whether or not it is alive
12.) Ponder where its other sock went
13.> get talking in to various plots to take over the the world by you lab rat pet... that never work and leave next to the party the next morning.
14.> Prove that the Elderin in the group really does sleep that he is just trying to put one over on the group.
15.. learn to play the accordion or bagpipes.
Fletch arrows for the rangers/ mold and pack flintlock weapons/ tune crossbow.
Copy the wizards spellbook for redundant copy when first is destroyed
Scribe scrolls/brew potions
Polish and clean armors
Give items back to players the kender/thief stole during the last dungeon
Do the appraisal/accounting/identify-ing of treasure for the group
count the stars (starpact :P)
learn a new language/feat
25. While the party is sleeping surgically remove their limbs and replace them with warforged ones, bringing the meatbags one step closer to perfection.
26: Slowly and indugently apply a coat of Turtle Wax to self.
27: Feel exteem shame if someone in the party wakes up and sees him doing it.
But warforged don't have those kinds of parts, do they?
34. Math: formulate possible encounters for the party and the probability of the survival of the party, how many arrows they will use, how many times swords will have to swung, etc.
35. Talk to pet rock.
36. Write over and over again "Mustn't kill meatbags; Mustn't kill meatbags; Mustn't kill meatbags..." and leave it where someone in the party can find it.
37. Generate new PC for that great new roleplaying game where you pretend you're a student or worker in an industrialized and technological society, "Papers & Paychecks". (Cookie for the reference!)
39 -- Grind XP
40 -- Abuse the Auction House
41 -- Take dance lessons during the 4 hours the Eladrin is up
44. Write a play
45. Build furniture
46. Knit scarves for your fellow party members
47. Mix berry juices and color a rainbow
48. Sharpen stakes to place in the ground
49. Search for owls.
50. Learn to play the bard's instrument
51. Figure out How many 'forges could a warforged forge, if a warforged could forge 'forges
52. Be moderately bored
53. Count the seconds until the fleshbags awaken
54. Deleaf trees with magic missiles
55. Update the party's website/journal/Korranberg Chronicle column
56. Detail runes or go-faster stripes on plating
57. Craft elaborate kites which shall never be flown
(And the "P&P" cartoon was in the AD&D DMG.)
58.) Write poetry
59.) NOT fire its human laser (because since it is a human, it does not possess a laser and will laser you to death if you say otherwise).
60.) Build a sandcastle. Maybe a sand fortress, if given enough time.
61. Offer sage advice to party members dealing with insomnia and personal problems. (The warforged in our party ends up doing this quite a bit.)
62 - Try on clothes belonging to other party members. Make sure to use cartoonish voices in imitation of them.
63 - Stare into a mirror, wondering what it would be like to have facial expressions.
64 - Grow a meatbag tongue in a jar.
65 - Connect said tongue to itself and go around tasting food/scenery/other PCs to see what all the fuss is about.
66 - Dig a hole and see how far down he can get each night.
67. Go out and party every night while spending a fortune in gold
68. Visit every stripclub, bar, restaurant, listen to every singer, vendor and beggar, see every dance performance, and rate the performance of everyone and everything
70.) Learn to play tennis.
71.) Learn to play tennis without using hands.
72.) Learn to play tennis without using hands, racket, or ball.
73.) Forget how to play tennis.
74.) Rinse and repeat.
75. make a garden in those strange crevices on the back of your friends
76.make sculpture duplicates of other party members and put them in their sleeping bags, so they are all sleeping with themselves.
77.make aforementioned sculpture duplicates again, and replace party members with them. put actual party members in the forest dressed up litke the trees you cut down to make the sculptures.
78. make sculptures of your party members during the night, depicting them at their usual morning tasks.
79. When your friends awaken, talk to the statues.
80. Don´t comment on 78 or 79.
81. Work on your autobiographical novel (I, Robot?)
82. Paint your nails - and your screws, bolts and rivets!
83. Fling drops of your various bodily fluids into the campfire and see what color the flames turn.
84. Try out burning various (removable) parts of your partymembers trying to find where the "spark" is hidden. Start with the hair of any elves or eladrins.
85. Apply sovereign glue to the insides of all your party members armour, so they'll be forever encased in armour just like you.
86. Apply sovereign glue to the party members orifices that the strange sounds are coming out of while they sleep.
87. Remember, posthumously for the party member, that non warforged need to 'breathe'.
88. Learn and master the art of dorodango, then replace the wizards orb with one of your creations. So much fun to be had, the wizard gets out of line and you crush his orbs, and the look on the wizard's face when he fights the BBEG and realizes you made the switch. If the party and the wizard survive, you'll be able to look back on that moment and realize why the party kicked you out of the group. This list makes warforged seem like jerks.
89) Taxedermy all those critters the party offed during the previous day.
90) Learn to be a Jewler. The party needs some form of income.
91) Study texts on theoretical magics.
92) Invent a new game.
93) Invent a new instrument.
94) Invent a new weapon and fighting style for it.
95) Write. Either novels, or for a travel guide (for adventurers?), or paper.... Or something interesting.
96) Play a complex game of switching out party members' equipment.
100. Develop your cooking skill despite your inability to taste food and your flawed understanding of what 'edible' means.
101. Befriend a cockroach. (I saw WALL-E for the first time Saturday night. Best. Movie. EVER!)
102). Review battle strategies.
103). Plan out the next days activities.
104. If your head is detachable, unscrew it and start juggling it. Make sure the rest of your party wakes up to see you doing that.
105. Make plans on how to assassinate the meatbags around you. Just in case you need to, of course.
106. Pretend to "sleep" and start muttering random and/or disturbing things in your "dreams".
107. Hold a tea party for the severed heads of the enemies you killed during the day. Make sure the rest of your party wakes up to see you doing that.
108) Resurrect old conversations you found entertaining
109) Dig a hole, fill it up, and refuse to comment on it when people ask.
110) Tame a chipmunk, and teach it to steal things for you.
111) Figure out how to craft another warforged, then make a Mini Me. Teach him how to craft a smaller warforged...
112) Create and learn to use sword-chucks!
113) Plant a tree on your head. Name it Bob.
114) Switch your hands and feet around, giving new meaning to the term "butthead". Make sure the rest of your party wakes up to see you doing that.
115) Prepare various jokes, insults, and comebacks to be used on fellow party members and noteworthy NPCs.
116) Replace your feet with hands. Learn how to levitate. Hover into battle with four weapons!
117) Taking the bodies of your enemies
placing them inside your chest cavity
crushing the bodies into small cubes
and stacking the cubes neatly in the corner.
118) Learn to scrapbook
119) Kobald marionettes.
120) Engrave intricate geometric designs on your metal parts.
121) Write violent haiku and poems about war.
122) Make chain mail.
123) Get into a lengthy, pointless debate about whether Dragonborn females have breasts :p
124. To turn his chest, or an arm or something into a safe to hold precious items and gold for the party. Just hope they don't forget the combo...
125. To stand around for hundreds of years in a garden and wait around on the floating island(anime Laputa reference).
127. Provoke wild animals by poking them with a stick.
128. Poke party members so they can help you fend off the offended wildlife
129. Make new poking sticks.
130: Reattach hands backwards. Become the first Warshasa.
131: Pretend to be each of your party members.
132: Hump a rock.
I dare you guys to come up with a list like this for every race that doesn't sleep. Especially the thri-kreen. :D
Thri-kreen #265) pre-write comebacks to the jokes the prey-who-you-travel-with-till-you-lay-your-eggs-in-them make about you on leaves of paper.
Thri-kreen#1764) train the night insects into an effective attack force.
136. Give your sleeping party members therapeutic back and foot rubs.
137. Begin drawing schematics on how to turn yourself into a truly living creature.
138. Give your fellow party members haircuts (and shaves) in their sleep so that they look their best...after all it is protocol for all soldiers to be neatly groomed.
139. Try to learn about the concept of personal space through reading domestic guides.
140. Play Promethean: The Created
WAIT WAIT WAIT!
136A) Learn two things: First, learn how to control pressure applied through the limbs; second, learn how to set a broken back and crushed feet.
146) Attempt to can heat.
147) Install canned heat in heels.
148) Dance, because you have nothing left to do.
149.) Knit a tiny, tiny suit.
150.) Find a cricket.
151.) Dress said cricket in tiny, tiny suit.
152.) Wish upon a star.
153. Fortify your companion's camp (build walls, trenches etc.)
154. Listen to wildlife in the area, and learn to mimic their calls.
155. Play chess with yourself.
156. Attempt to "upgrade" yourself using additional warforged components
157. Speak a monologue describing your contempt for the gods (fist shaking optional).
158. Connect yourself to the Internet. Proceed to search craigslist personals for another Warforged.
159. Ask the party Eladrin if it is asleep yet.
160. Take up whittling as a hobby. Carve miniatures of your fellow party members and keep them inside your chest cavity.
161. Rearrange your party members so they wake up in awkward positions with each other.
159) Paint pictures on yourself, erase them when finally satisfied, start over.
160)Build tiny, fully functional automatons in the likeness of your party members.
161)Get kicked out of the party for excessive creepiness.
162. Absolutely nothing. Stand there impassively, staring into space.
163. Recreate Star Wars, acting the part of C-3PO.
164. Get over your pathological fear of the number 2. (Cookie to whomever gets the reference!)
165. Cultivate dissociative personality disorder, so that you won't be lonely.
167) Work on your pick up lines."Hey baby, I got a belt sander back at my place"
168) Brew beer inside of you. Still be afraid of number 2.
Nice Futurama reference.
169) KILL ALL HUMANS! (and elves, dwarves, eladrin, etc.)
170: Stare at the stars whilst slowly murmuring phrases such as, "Souls... Don't... Die..." and, "Superman..."
171: Contemplate whether you are a gun or what you choose to be.
173: Wander about scanning various objects. Shoot anything that moves.
174: Inspect yourself for birds or other small animals that may or may not be the source of your power.
175: Perfect the MC Hammer slide. Use this as a primary mode of manual transportation from now on.
176: Learn to sing with subliminal messages. Convey your murderous intent towards the PCs in your songs.
177: To end the debate as to whether or not female Dragonborn have breasts, examine the party's female Dragonborn.
178: Hastily explain why you were groping said Dragonborn.
179: Begin debates as to whether or not female Gnolls have breasts.
180: Question why no Warforged have breasts before resigning yourself to the fact that some perverted mage has undoubtedly made one somewhere.
181: Set aside a personal agenda to find said "female" Warforged.
182: Bend and weld junk and sheet metal to sculpt a boquet of flowers for such an occasion.
183: Meditate at the bottom of a nearby lake. Watch the fish swim by.
184: Complain about the pain in your left diodes.
185: Connect yourself to a cable network and project the screen onto one of the party member's tents.
186: Navigate to the Spanish channel.
187: Hold your crossbow at the ready and rotate your torso in a sentry pattern. Greet people with phrases such as, "There you are" and, "Target aquired". If tipped over, shoot randomly and say phrases such as, "Whyyy?" or, "I don't blame you".
188: Create a large, cubelike box.
189: Grant said box limited sentience.
190: Paint a heart onto the sides of said box.
191: Contemplate the validity and/or falsehood of cake.
192: Memorize disturbing, prohpetic speeches. Recite them with an odd tone and inflection to the party leader. "Rise, and shine, Mr. Greenhilt. Rise... and Shine..."
193: Charge your laser.
194: Loudly announce the charging of said laser.
195: Learn how to fold your body to become a motorcycle.
196: Contemplate the existence of nonexistence.
197: Project the BSoD into your eye lights. Sit frozen in mid-action.
198: When "Restored", complain about Windows. Request being reformatted with Leopard.
199: Read the Monster Manual.
200: Pull out and flip through the DM's guide. Scribble on graph paper and chuckle maniacally.
136.) In outdoor settings, mold little garden gnomes from mud and make entire garden gnome communities...including a large temple-like area where a mass of garden gnomes are apparently worshipping a large warforged entity.
201: Create a game involving writing ability scores, powers and feats on a peice of parchment, then rolling dice with a number of differant sides, 20 being the most prominant, to determin what the charcters do.
202: Create a forum post board on a notice board in town about the game you created
204: Create a suit of human flesh in the shape of an austrian body builder so you can pass as human and steal their clothes
205: Try to rebuild yourself into a chaise lounge for the comfort of your party members.
207: Bury yourself for a thousand years to see what the future is like.
175.act like wile cyote(you know,making wild and/or wacky devices to trap/kill enemies/roadrunners)
176. Take notes of seeming inconsequential things such as: the number of trees in a park, the number of leaves on each tree, the number of ants on the ground, number of times each person is wounded in combat... etc
211. Step 1. Attempt to install own battlefist on the group's Half-Elf.
212. Step 2. Wonder what all that red stuff spilling out of the shoulder socket is.
213. Step 3. No, its not strawberry jam. Continue tasting anyway.
214. Step 4. Hide the Half-Elf's arm.
215. Step 5. Reattach own battlefist.
216. Step 6. Following night, repeat steps 1 through 5 with the group's Dwarf.
217. Step 7. Repeat as necessary w/ other races until installing is a success and/or the others' run out of arms.
218. Step 8. Attempt to install battlefoot on the group's Half-Elf.
If a Warforged Druid,
218: Practice Wild Shaping into a dire armadillo. in the morning, when the PCs are ready to leave, transform and roll out.
219: Make a fire from spellbooks. In the morning, descirbe how cold it was on watch.
220: Pound sand.
221: Wake everyone up and explain to them that you are now a pacifist and then just wander off,...
222: Knit everyone a towel.
223: Hitch a ride on the next Spelljammer to Sigil.
224: Throw the gnome overboard before you get there.
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