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4 years ago ::
Feb 15, 2009 - 1:42PM
#41
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Date Joined:
Jan 21, 2009
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121. "I swear I am going to put you in a bag of holding if you dont be quiet."
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4 years ago ::
Feb 15, 2009 - 9:13PM
#42
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122. "Just because i said i didn't want to hurt you, doesn't mean i won't."
123. "I promise i won't kill you. But then again, you would be suprised to see how many bodyparts you can live without."
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
When the forces of stupid collide, magical things happen. And by magical, I mean ******* moronic.
- Anon
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4 years ago ::
Feb 16, 2009 - 10:55PM
#43
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Date Joined:
Jun 16, 2006
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124: Dont wory I'm the troop cleric, today Zehir has blessed me strongly and set a deathrattle at my feet this morning, will you join me in its milk? (milking a rattlesnake)
125: *Stabed with a sharp pointy object in the eye.* "YES! Grumish be praised, come my now one eyed brother and let us go get a pint!" (3.5 Half orc with orc paragon wielding a rapier)
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4 years ago ::
Feb 18, 2009 - 7:52AM
#44
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Date Joined:
Jan 21, 2009
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126. (best done when slowly dragging a heavy blade against a rock while sneering at the enemy) "First you crack the shell. Then you eat the pup inside."
127. "Have you ever seen a man burned to death in his own armor? Come dear knight, let us see how your ancestors greet you, when you have the face of sausage."
128. (character was wearing a cloak of hair) "Oh?... Wonderful.. wonderful... just the right color.. It will only be just a little cut." (imposter's armor. gotta love it)
129. (Sephiroth's theme music done in ghost sound) "Now Mother, be patient. I know you're hungry.."
130. "I OBJECT!" (must be done in a pronounced and overtly dramaticized manner - works great for a stun)
131. "No, no this won't do, this won't do at all. You have all your fingers. What kind of interrogation would this be if we didn't start it off right. Mm? Oh I'll ask questions eventually, I just have the proper procedure in mind right now."
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4 years ago ::
Feb 23, 2009 - 6:35PM
#45
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132. (After victim screams) B FLAT YOU IDIOT! B FLAT! (Hit him again)
133. I'm going to ask you a series of simple questions. For every one you get wrong I cut off a finger. Now, what is the sound of one hand clapping? (Cuts off finger) Oh, sorry! Best of two? If a tree falls in a forest... (continue on...)
134. Oh, I remember when I was a child and a bully took my favorite toy. I was so sad, I even cried a little. (Pause for like 3 minutes, then break his hand). You thought I was going somewhere with that? Nope. Now then...(continue interrogation)
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4 years ago ::
Feb 23, 2009 - 6:43PM
#46
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Date Joined:
Jun 16, 2006
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135: *cackeling menacingly with a thin blade* Ioun has blessed me with a spell, it is called "symbol of pain". I will ask a question and if I dont like the answer, I will caarve it on your skinn, how long can you go without looking at yourself?
136: Dragonborn fighter: Do what I say or i'll shove this mace head up your egg chute...What? You dont have one? I'll just have to make due with what I got then.
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4 years ago ::
Feb 24, 2009 - 7:44PM
#47
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Date Joined:
Aug 31, 2008
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100:
101: Gnom gnoms! (Note - only really effective if you're playing a really big character...
I might actually use this one for my dragonborn pally, it has that comedic psychosis that I always enjoy.
WoTC has gotten rid of the forums I came to know and love, if you think that the old Gleemax forums should be restored, add this to your signature.
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4 years ago ::
Feb 28, 2009 - 7:08AM
#48
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Date Joined:
Aug 30, 2008
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137) I can destroy you in more and more imaginative ways than even the greatest of psychotics- the more time I have to think... the more time I have to play. (Note; Unspoken house-rule is that cantrips make Wizards, basically, the Genie from Aladdin. Hedge Wizards Gloves make the wearer more like a birthday magician. So by that ruling, this is for Wizards.) 138) Alright then, I'm going to make this interesting for you. Say hello to the... Wheel... of... Mis-Fortune~! I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and for every answer you refuse to give, lie to me about, or I simply don't like, I'm going to give the wheel a spin! Whichever one of these pictures it lands on last, right before I'm done with you, is what I'm going to do to you. And no, this one isn't quite what it looks like, though I admit to seeing it too, so I don't blame you for being dirty- Needless to say though, I will enjoy that one. So, ready for a spin?
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4 years ago ::
Feb 28, 2009 - 2:01PM
#49
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Date Joined:
Dec 11, 2008
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139. You'll look like pulled pork when I'm through with you
140. Anwer me, or I'll tie your head to a tree with your guts and play tetherball with it
141. Your life is about to be like a halfling vampire: short and sucky!
142. (insert patron here) can level continents with a whim. You stand in the way of his/her paladin. What do you think your chances are?
143. (from a dragonborn) I'm going to beat you like a red-scaled stepchild
144. (to a male prisoner) Your boyfriend may break up with you if I break your kneecaps and you can't kneel anymore
145. Your god is laughing at your chances right now
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4 years ago ::
Feb 28, 2009 - 3:50PM
#50
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Date Joined:
Aug 31, 2008
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73)
*fo snippity'*
76) (Dragonborn with his breath weapon oozing from a snarl) Time to talk or time to get a kiss you won't forget? Your decision.
I used this one in my game to intimidate our gnome captive, rolled really well on the check and he burst into tears. Thanks for writing it! 
WoTC has gotten rid of the forums I came to know and love, if you think that the old Gleemax forums should be restored, add this to your signature.
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