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Thiloq and Dragx: What's your idea of a really good first date?

:coolcthul A good first date for me starts with a good meal...perhaps some nice, fresh elf brains. I find that elf brains have the light, clean flavor that keeps me alert. Some in-depth telepathy, to really get to know each other. Perhaps a couple hours at the slave pits, soaking up emotions. If we really hit it off, maybe going back to my place and...you know...perfoming psionic experiments on slaves together. Oh dear; I'm blushing.
Appearances are everything. If she doesn't look good...if she doesn't look just like me... I'll have to tear her apart.
:coolcthul And if she does?
Then maybe I'll get lucky enough to implant my eggs in her before she does it to me. Let my glorious offspring consume her still-living flesh!
:coolcthul I admit to a certain respect for aboleths. They appreciate the powers of the mind, and while they lack Elder Brains, they do the best they can.
All are weak and pathetic! All...all right, delvers are not so bad. Easy to train. And gauths...are less hideous than most blasphemous abominations.
:coolcthul Well-put. I personally cannot stand gibbering mouthers. All that endless, insane babbling...it's enough to ruin anyone's concentration.
All of the so-called "beholderkin" are hideous, vile and disgusting! Lashers are especially horrible!
:coolcthul We do not keep "pets" in the sense of companion creatures, but yes, we find the illithidae to be useful servants, and less unnerving than the poor, tentacle-less humanoids we must often put up with. Gricks are also favored.
"Unpleasant things?" What do you mean, puny dfarnsworth? The Great Mother is supreme! She was cheated by the jealous lesser gods of all other creatures!
:coolcthul Elder--
Cheated!
:coolcthul Ahem! Elder Brains rarely get headaches, but I understand that excessive use of their more potent powers sometimes causes a sense of "strain." This rarely occurs, for an Elder Brain is a match for nearly anything. When it does, we add a soothing mucus to the Elder Brain's pool, made from the distilled essence of the brains of psionically-active humanoids. It's also quite good on toast.

What? Don't you care about Dragx's opinion?!
:coolcthul Pseudonatural creatures are...comforting to me. I find a disturbing lack of tentacles in most of the animal life.
Half-farspawn are somewhat admirable, somewhat unnerving. While it is laudable for a lesser being such as a humand to seek to improve itself, and while the air of majesty these creatures possess is undeniable, there is still the uneasy sense of two unrelated creatures melded into one whole.
Alienists are humanoids who have become aware of realities beyond their own. I admire them in much the same way you might admire a fish that understands the concept of a fishtank, and that a world exists beyond it. However, for the most part, their minds are too frail for true greatness.
Dragx does not care about your opinion either, puny xXOblivionXx! Bleargh!

:coolcthul "The Adversary"? Are you referring to the illithid myth of a mind flayer consumed by the partial personality of the donor whose body he wore? Superstitious hogwash.
Ethergaunts...too bony, and taste bad, too.
:coolcthul The ethergaunts are perhaps the only creatures equal to my own race, and the second-worst threat we face (after those rebellious gith). They have the colossal gall to consider the multiverse "theirs," when all intelligent species know it belonged to the Illithid Empire for eons before the ethergaunts ever arrived. I am not usually a proponent of violence by humans upon aberrations, but for the ethergaunts I'll make an exception.
What about the sun? What have you guys got against the sun?
:coolcthul The project to return the world to a state of pleasant darkness and coolness exists, but it is very long-range. You will undoubtedly be dead before it comes to fruition, so I advise all of you humanoids to ignore it completely. It is, however, just one of several grand ideas. Each city and each Elder Brain has its own plans, you know.
Like what?
:coolcthul Oh, there are several...flooding the surface world...re-establishing our ancient empire...exterminating the gith...perfecting dragon cerebremorphosis...the usual things.
Good luck with that.
:coolcthul And as for mindwitnesses--
Blearrgh!! Freaks! Abominations! (incoherent raving)
:coolcthul The mindwitness is an example of...excessive zeal. While I applaud the concept--cerebremorphosis with a subject superior to a mere humanoid--the problems should have been obvious from the start. Really, mindwitnesses are simply too...outre for my taste, though I'm told there are cities that employ them.

Do celestial brains and fiendish brains taste different from normal humanoid brains?

What do illithid brains taste like?

What do beholder brains taste like?

Do krakens give mindflayers tentacle envy?