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I've been collecting the guild leaders of the Return to Ravnica block (just for collection purposes) and I only have two left to go. While trying to come up with a deck idea using Grimgrin, Corpse-Born , the thought occurred to me that I have a lot of guild leaders that aren't doing anything right now. I didn't feel quite adventurous enough to go in for all five colors, but I think four could work well given my current mana base.

I'll note early here that I don't plan on this deck being competitive in the conventional sense. There are plenty of free Standard tournaments in my area that I can run a deck like this at and not worry about blowing off tourney fees. I don't like going 0-4, however, which is why I'm bringing this here. If I can move it into a deck that should get 1-3 or 2-2 reliably I'll be happy.

Land: 23
2 Watery Grave
Drowned Catacomb
2 Steam Vents
Sulfur Falls
2 Breeding Pool
Hinterland Harbor
2 Blood Crypt
Dragonskull Summit
3 Overgrown Tomb
Stomping Ground
2 Rootbound Crag
5 Forest

Creatures:
Lazav, Dimir Mastermind
Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius
Prime Speaker Zegana
Jarad, Golgari Lich Lord
Rakdos, Lord of Riots
Borborygmos Enraged
4 Deadbridge Goliath
4 Arbor Elf

Other Spells:
4 Farseek  (I've been looking for someplace to play my promo copy!)


Obviously the deck isn't done yet. This is what I'm thinking of as the core. The mana base has 14 green sources and 9 for each other color, so I'm counting on the mana dorks (11 of my green sources are Forests) and  Farseek to get me off the ground. I'm not sure yet whether I'll have to put in more mana acceleration to get this going quickly enough. Verdant Haven is a bit slow for acceleration, but performs marvellously with  Arbor Elf . It's starting to look likely that I'll run some Jarad's Orders in order to search for my guild leaders and pitch a  Deadbridge Goliath for scavenge.

Other spells I pulled out for consideration: (# of copies omitted)
Chandra, the Firebrand - would need more instants/sorceries to justify her and that might be a stretch. Possibly she is sideboard material.
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker
Staff of Nin
Abrupt Decay
Moldgraf Monstrosity
Fathom Mage
Sever the Bloodline - doesn't jive well with Lazav though.
Mercurial Chemister
Guild Feud
Carnival Hellsteed
Grimgrin, Corpse-Born - I think he's unlikely at this point, but I still want to run him sometime
Bloodline Keeper
Unexpected Results
Hypersonic Dragon
Izzet Charm
Wolfir Avenger
Treasured Find
Dimir Charm - I'm a bit excited about using this card. The third mode should help Lazav find critters in the opponent's deck to transform into or help my deck grow Jarad and/or find more guild leaders. Also removal or sorcery countering in a pinch (most board wipes are sorceries, so this goes well)
Urban Evolution
Alpha Authority
Triumph of Ferocity
Tracker's Instincts
Rise from the Grave
Soul of the Harvest
Harvester of Souls
Xathrid Gorgon
Consuming Aberration
Bonfire of the Damned

Obviously I'm not going to run all of those, and some didn't really look like they'll work as I wrote this out. I'm still brainstorming at this point, however. Maybe if I ran some reanimator spells and used Jarad's Orders to pitch a guild leader into the graveyard instead of the easier-to-cast Deadbridge Goliath , with the intent to have them change places as the game went on?

It's a bit unfortunate that the different guild leaders want to pull the deck in different directions, but I don't think unsolvably so:

Lazav, Dimir Mastermind - want he really wants is to mill the opponent. If he can't do that, removal or combat dominance could still work for him. He's a good target for +1/+1 counters if nothing else.
Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius - should work fine as long as I can get him out & have mana available for zapping stuff. Yay card draw!
Prime Speaker Zegana  - She wants big creatures to be out on the field when she makes landfall (and is actually kind of an obvious sacrifice target for Jarad since she is just a generic fatty after she lands)
Jarad, Golgari Lich Lord - He likes big creature buddies and creatures in my graveyard
Rakdos, Lord of Riots  - He needs the opponents to lose life & might be the hardest one to cast
Borborygmos Enraged  - He doesn't really care what anyone else is doing, as long as he gets to attack at some point. Edit: Actually, his land toss ability likes the card drawing on Zegana and Niv-Mizzet just fine now that I think about it.

Overall, I think most of the guild leader themes will work if I'm running big creatures and I get them out quickly enough. Fortunately I'm already sporting a midrange-esque mana base, so that should work out.

Any ideas on how I can bend this monstrosity into a 2-2 or 1-3 quality decklist?

That's funny. I don't own any copies of the lantern, so I didn't even think of it. You're right though: although I'm pretty sure I could handle the casting costs on a decent draw without the lantern, it would be a good way to be more confident of it. Also, Niv-Mizzet would be way less cranky with me on his activation costs. While the Verdant Haven / Arbor Elf combination is tempting, it is also more fragile.

Alright, I have an early version of the deck put together so we can get into more specifics. No sideboard yet, though:

Land: 23
2 Watery Grave
Drowned Catacomb
2 Steam Vents
Sulfur Falls
2 Breeding Pool
Hinterland Harbor
2 Blood Crypt
Dragonskull Summit
3 Overgrown Tomb
Stomping Ground
2 Rootbound Crag
5 Forest

Creatures:
Lazav, Dimir Mastermind
Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius
Jarad, Golgari Lich Lord
Rakdos, Lord of Riots
Borborygmos Enraged
4 Deadbridge Goliath
4 Arbor Elf
2 Consuming Aberration
2 Wolfir Avenger

Planeswalkers:
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker

Other Spells:
4 Farseek
Urban Evolution - this is a stand-in for Zegana, who I still need to trade for
3 Vessel of Endless Rest - stand-ins for Chromatic Lanterns
2 Unburial Rites
2 Dimir Charm
Dreadbore
2 Murder - these need to become Dreadbores
Bonfire of the Damned
Jarad's Orders
Grisly Salvage - this needs to become a Jarad's Orders
Mizzium Mortars

Now that I've written it out...it looks worse than I thought it would. Tons of singles, even if I ignore the ones in the land section. I guess I have to start somewhere, though, so I'll leave the list up for comments before I go crazy tearing it apart.

I added a bit of reanimation with Unburial Rites , which I should be able to flashback sometimes given the Vessels/Lanterns. Some removal came into the deck, although there isn't tons of it. Someday, I will Murder Olivia Voldaren while Lazav is in play. It will be glorious. I'm hopeful for the Consuming Aberration s, since they can power Lazav as well as boost the guild leaders that care about big creatures.

I'm not very confident that the Wolfir fit into the deck, but I thought that I should make at least a token effort to stop aggro.