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4 months ago ::
Jan 25, 2013 - 12:49PM
#1
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Date Joined:
Dec 27, 2009
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Yesterday was a slow day at work.
Diary of Klink
Day 116 Cold this morning. The smog was thick, could barely see the sun. Good for me, the rust golems don’t do so good in the shade. I was able to get past them without any trouble. I don’t know if they just can’t see me in these conditions, or if they’re just too sluggish to react. Note to self: This needs testing. My hopes were true; there was an immense cache of trimmings and scrap past all the golems. I don’t know if the mean to be so predictable, but they always congregate where the best scrap is. They would be better guards if they weren’t so obvious about it. I found a nice socket wrench, about fifty units of tin, and of all things a shiny new mox. A mox! Jackpot! I can finally fix my blowtorch. It’s going to be a very productive week.
Day 123 Still cold. Not cloudy. Lots of wind. Sorry for not writing lately. Been busy. I spent the last couple days fixing the blowtorch. It works like a charm now. I wanted to get started on those blue prints I pried off that pewter golem a cycle back. I have no idea what it makes, but it’s something special. It looks like I have most of the parts I need. So I plan to get started this afternoon. I just wanted to get my thoughts down before then. Good luck to me! Day 125 Less cold. Sunny. Looks like a storm on the horizon though. No concern of mine. Progress has been slow, but sure. This is an unusual project, I still have not the slightest clue what exactly I’m building. I’ve tested the thing at various points, and all the pieces move but I know not to what end. The language on the blueprints is unlike anything I’ve ever read. I could probably spend some time finding someone to decipher it for me, lord knows I needn’t stay here to do it. But I figure, why spoil the surprise, eh? Day 131 Hot. Stormy. The weather here sucks. No matter, I will not be intimidated by mere clouds! Judging by the number of blue prints, I’m about a third of the way done. I think I’m getting the swing of this. This thing, whatever it is, is heavily regimented. There’s lot of patterns and constants in its construction. This is really getting exciting! Soon I’ll be done and be able to bask in the glory of my, um, glory! Day 133 Still hot. Sunny. Bad news. While I was finding a meal a bunch of those stupid, dumb, jerkface, arsehead golems found my shop. I got back in time, but they were smashing up the thing! I was able to break them, but they did significant amount of damage to it. Discouraging yes, but I can get it all fixed in about a week. I don’t think the project is safe here. The golems don’t want me to finish this thing. I plan to move the project to one of my spare garages. Day 134 Less hot. Little sunny. I stayed up all night establishing a defensive perimeter of sentries and traps to deter the golems. Bunch of jerkfaces. If they had faces. I also made a makeshift trolly to transport the contraption. I plan to make a move during the night when the golems are all intransient. Day 135 Cool. Cloudy. Tired. Tranport took longer than I thought. The golems were weirdly active last night. I’ve never seen them so mobile at night. They were weirdly coordinated, too. They really don’t want me to finish this thing. Nuts to them! Day 136 Cold. Still cloudy. Even more tired. Didn’t sleep much last night. Couldn’t. Wanted to work on the thing. Had to set up defenses. Can’t let the golems get to it. Need to keep working. Day 138 I think it’s 138. Yeah, that’s gotta be right. Hard to tell. Not sleeping much. Need to finish the thing. Sleep is a waste of time. I’ve almost fixed all the damage the golems did in their raid. But I can’t stop there! I need to keep working. Day 142? Oh jeez, is it 142? No wait, its 143. Oh gosh, I’m losing track. The days and nights kind of bleed together, especially without sleep. Need to keep working. Its frustrating. I think I’m making progress, but I still don’t know what exactly I’m making. Day ??? Losing track of time. Head hurts. Sleepy. Weather is stupid and so is this thing. Almost done. Still can’t tell what it does. Makes lots of noise. Moves all of the things. But to what end? Angry. Stupid thing. Need to work. Day XXX So tired. Need to work. Hungry. Thirsty. The thing is almost done, but I’ve grown to resent it. What does it do. It does a lot of things when it works. Yields no results. A lot of nothing. It does nothing. Day XXX Passed out. Woke up. Found food. Water. Still feel poopy. Wretched contraption. Mocking me. So much work. So little reward. Noises. Motions. Nothing. It’s like a joke. A mean joke. A mean stupid joke. I’ve become a clown. Day XXX Hate. This. Thing. Who put these blueprints here. Why. How can something this big. This complicated. Not. Do. Anything. Stupid stupid STUPID. HATE THIS THING. SCREW YOU. WASTING MY TIME. IM DONE WITH THIS. IM THROWING MY LIFE AWAY TRYING TO MAKE YOU WORK. WELL NO MORE. Day XXX
GRUEFNERUIVFERHVGNHERGJKRJKGDFHGJKDGGJHJHJGFHJDFHJFHJJVFNJFAGHRGRHGRHGERHJHGUIFHGGHGUIHGERJKGHJKG Day XXX Give up. Out of blueprints. Fully built. Still does nothing. So sleepy. Day XXX Moderate. Sunny. Got a good night sleep last night. Found some food and water. Feeling better. Much better. I had an epiphany last night. I know how to make the thing work! Just wait and see. This time tomorrow that contraption will be doing whatever it was meant to do! Day XX1 Oh God. I’ve done a bad thing. My idea. It worked. The contraption works. I wish it hadn’t. I’ve done a bad, bad terrible thing. I need to destroy it. If anyone finds this journal: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry sorry.
Spoiler:
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Klink, the Tinkerer
 
Planeswalker-Klink
+2: Assemble a Contraption
-1: Sacrifice an artifact. That artifact deals 5 damage to target creature or player.
-7: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, for each contraption you control, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of that contraption."
[3]
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4 months ago ::
Jan 25, 2013 - 1:11PM
#2
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Date Joined:
Jun 28, 2008
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1. Need a starting loyalty for that... Ah, ninja edit. Well now it does nothing, so thats nice I guess?
2. I don't feel like the story goes much of anywhere. I mean, it builds tension in two ways, the golems concern and the frustration at the machine. Neither from of tension is resolved in a particularly satisfactory matter. The ending revelation of, "Oh God it was actually a terrible doomsday machine" is so heavily foreshadowed that it really doesn't satisfy the reader, and the problems with the machine build to a head, but then after the climax you immediately move to resolution without exploring the consequences of the climax.
In short: You have a story that a reader can invest in, but I feel the conclusion doesn't properly use the investment.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year mymoment
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4 months ago ::
Jan 25, 2013 - 1:56PM
#3
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Date Joined:
Jun 12, 2010
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Sorry, all I could think of with the name was this. Spoiler:
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The story, while kind of generic, was still good. A nice delve into insanity. Quick question, though. Did Klink ascend before, during, or after building the contraption? As for the card, the second ability feels overpowered. I don't know anything about balancing levels, but I do know that ichorclaw myr  and company exist. Wait...his second ability works well with infect...his ultimate is a psudeo populate, which is a psudeo proliferate...DID HE BUILD A PHYREXIAN DOOMSDAY DEVICE!!!!!! Spoiler:
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im sorry
 thanks to gamma-mage for the awesome banner
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4 months ago ::
Jan 25, 2013 - 2:16PM
#4
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Date Joined:
Dec 27, 2009
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Not my best work. I wanted it to end up as a joke, like the actual rigger  . Didn't end up that way. In my mind, sometime before the story, but I didn't have anything in particular in mind.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 25, 2013 - 5:54PM
#5
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Date Joined:
Jun 28, 2008
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The card felt right for a joke, but I'm just imagining how hard Wizards R&D would be murdered if they printied a "joke" Mythic Rare.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year mymoment
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4 months ago ::
Jan 26, 2013 - 10:47AM
#6
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Date Joined:
Dec 27, 2009
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The card felt right for a joke, but I'm just imagining how hard Wizards R&D would be murdered if they printied a "joke" Mythic Rare.
Like utility spells? 
Or superjank that does nothing we haven't seen before? 
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4 months ago ::
Jan 31, 2013 - 6:06PM
#7
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Date Joined:
Dec 12, 2008
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I liked it :D It was silly and not really substantive but amusing all the same.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 31, 2013 - 6:09PM
#8
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Date Joined:
Jun 28, 2008
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The card felt right for a joke, but I'm just imagining how hard Wizards R&D would be murdered if they printied a "joke" Mythic Rare.
Like utility spells?
Or superjank that does nothing we haven't seen before?
Lotus Cobra gave me a nerd-gasm when it was first spoiled. People who say it didn't fit the bill of "mythic" are lying to themselves.
As for Archangel's Light  ... I'm just thankful it is a mythic so that I have a minimal chance of ever openning one.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year mymoment
Show
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4 months ago ::
Jan 31, 2013 - 6:27PM
#9
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Date Joined:
Dec 27, 2009
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The problem I have with Lotus Cobra being a mythic is that the effect is a utility one. It's a mana dork. A very explosive mana dork, but a dork nonetheless. I agree with you on Light though, it's 'bad' enough that most players would never want to open it. So the fewer the better. If nothing else, it's "Mythic" in that if you build around it you are going to gain an entirely stupid amount of life off of a single card.
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4 months ago ::
Jan 31, 2013 - 6:32PM
#10
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Date Joined:
Feb 27, 2012
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The problem I have with Lotus Cobra being a mythic is that the effect is a utility one.
It's a mana dork.
A very explosive mana dork, but a dork nonetheless.
I agree with you on Light though, it's 'bad' enough that most players would never want to open it. So the fewer the better.
If nothing else, it's "Mythic" in that if you build around it you are going to gain an entirely stupid amount of life off of a single card.
The thing to remember about Light is that even MaRo admits it wasn't mythic caliber. The problem was they decided last minute the card they were going to print was too poweful, but they didn't have time to test a proper replacement, so instead they made it something so terribly weak they wouldn't have to worry.
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