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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 2:49PM
#261
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Date Joined:
Dec 24, 2012
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OH MY GAWD! Fracture would have been a perfect keyword... JournalSpoiler:
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The burns are only just healing and another assignment. Oh well, work keeps the mind off of it. The pegasus is almost a boring element of this splice. Truly a fine example of natural bioevolutionary convergance, its powerful wings seem to its most interesting point. Spiders on the other hand are a natural bounty of inspiration. Powerful limbs, toxic venom, chitinous armor, large batches of spawn, and its web all make them prime examples of natural advantage. So what traits to bring through? Archnaquine Krasis   Creature - Spider Pegasus Mutant During your turn, ~ has flying. Otherwise it has reach. Whenever ~ damages a creature put a -1/-1 counter on that creature. Creatures your opponents control with -1/-1 counters on them lose flying. After it hunts, it returns to its lair to wait for its prey to fall from the sky. Inevitably its venomous bite does its work.
1/4
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 3:44PM
#262
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Detektazoline Spoiler:
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Hivemind Scout |  
Creature - Human Sliver
First strike
Assimilate (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a permanent, it gains the creature types of that permanent).
Hivemind Scout gets +1/+1 for each creature type it is.
Its search for the perfect form is endless. It knows not that it has already found it.
0/0
I think I would have tucked that first mechanic away for a future round. It's Simic, its Scholary, its Scientific, its Sexy. You don't mess with the four S's. More of your superior design skills shining through. I feel bad to have restricted you to the crude art of warfare. Assimilate is interesting, and it centers around combat which was something I was looking for, but as mentioned it would be a pain in the butt to actually track. Other than the tracking it has lots of design space with all the usual effects (draw a card for each creature type it is, gets +X/+X for each creature type it is, etc). 7/10.
Mmkay, Detektazoline is yelling at me mega hard about now to say that he updated his card and somehow it's my fault that I didn't point that out, and you graded the previous one.
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 4:45PM
#263
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Date Joined:
Nov 15, 2012
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sigh keeping track of added creature types is the same offence as keeping track of tokens and emblems, memory issues  Flying SpidersParasail Spinners  creature spider pegasus reach, deathtouch  target creature with toughness 3 or less gains flying until end of turn ~"would you like the world on a string"(1/2)
TLDR
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 8:07PM
#264
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Date Joined:
Mar 18, 2003
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Detektazoline Spoiler:
Show
Hivemind Scout |
Creature - Human Sliver
First strike
Assimilate (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a permanent, it gains the creature types of that permanent).
Hivemind Scout gets +1/+1 for each creature type it is.
Its search for the perfect form is endless. It knows not that it has already found it.
0/0
I think I would have tucked that first mechanic away for a future round. It's Simic, its Scholary, its Scientific, its Sexy. You don't mess with the four S's. More of your superior design skills shining through. I feel bad to have restricted you to the crude art of warfare. Assimilate is interesting, and it centers around combat which was something I was looking for, but as mentioned it would be a pain in the butt to actually track. Other than the tracking it has lots of design space with all the usual effects (draw a card for each creature type it is, gets +X/+X for each creature type it is, etc). 7/10.
Mmkay, Detektazoline is yelling at me mega hard about now to say that he updated his card and somehow it's my fault that I didn't point that out, and you graded the previous one.
Please explain to Detektazoline (seriously I have a mental block about spelling that name...I have to cut and paste it to not screw it up even when Im staring at it as I type) that the error was mine as I tried to get a headstart on grading as the entries started to come in. I should have known to double check the entries before I posted the grades, and I especially should have known to double check when he publicly acknowledged the previous interations shortcomings.
Please check the grades again, I have updated the standings.
Spoiler:
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These cards are Ball Tightening.
Perfect originality is overrated and often ugly. The best and most beautiful cards I've ever seen were clearly inspired by something else.
Cards are not entirely unlike living organisms in this regard. All the good ones are a result of long evolution; the 'original' ones are either monocellular or mutant aberrations.
The weird part is reaching over the table, grabbing a card from their hand, and just staring slowly back at them, awkwardly, as you slide their voice of resurgence slowly into your pants.
Graveborn are strictly better than Zombies. I mean, look at that wicked beard  . You try growing that when your dead. And I know aging fellows who are suffering from Male Pattern Baldness, who would kill for a Mop like Ribsy's over there.
Hey Dudibus, I can't take you seriously until you take your shirt off!
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 8:31PM
#265
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You are quite the fool if you think that we did not concur with Hairless' original assessment, hence the outrage of a replacement card not being graded. We are thinking currently that fusing your essence with a higher life form, perhaps some kind of spider monkey, would improve your grasp of the situation. Regardless, our revenge upon Hairless is nearly complete. Joining him will be this 'contest's' well meaning host. Ha. Haha. MUAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! We are confused as to when we became a supervillain personality. Perhaps some science will calm us. Perhaps a more traditional splice of taking a characteristic and weaving it into an existing being, instead of creating a new horror will help soothe our frayed nerves. Venomblood Steed | Creature - Pegasus SpiderFlying Protection from creatures with reach and from creatures with deathtouch. Its wings majestic. Its heart pure. Its blood poison.3/3
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 8:33PM
#266
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We are slightly mollified, and hope you find your new form to be...
...not overly uncomfortable.
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5 months ago ::
Feb 06, 2013 - 11:45PM
#267
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Date Joined:
Jan 13, 2012
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Arachnasus  Creature - Spider Pegasus Arachnasus enters the battlefield with 8 limb counters. Remove two limb counters from Arachnasus: Arachnasus gains your choice of deathtouch or flying until the end of turn. "At first we thougt the experiment had failed, because the specimen came out of the vat essentially limbless, with 8 stumps on the sides of its body. Only when two of them sprouted a pair of wings and two others a pair of poisonous spiky legs that impaled my assistant, did we realize it was a brilliant success." -Magano's journal of Progressive Splicing3/4
Quotes
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Okay, here is the clincher. I've been waiting to say this.
The "cam girl" this was inspired by was just a girl from a social networking website, Stickam. Her name was TinyTerror and she was just a regular girl who was on her webcam, totally unrelated to any type of adult content.
I hope you all feel really smart now. 
This is like someone coming into class with a bloody nose and everyone's like "Jeez what happened to you" and they're like "I ran into a wall" and everyone laughs at them for being an idiot but then at the end of the class they say "HAHA JUST KIDDING I PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!! TALK ABOUT OWNED HAHAHAHAHA"
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
Sorin walked into the chamber where his newly wed bride, Vampy, awaited. A beam of moonlight illuminated his brilliant silver hair as he strode with confidence towards the bed. His shirtless body showcased his powerful abdominal muscles and he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees.
I wish more girls play magic cards...
Have you considered assassinating Kevin?
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5 months ago ::
Feb 07, 2013 - 1:09AM
#268
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DZ is above admitting to being Sarnath'd, but clearly his rant was directed at Monsieur Holck, and not our esteemed host, who I'm sure is currently enjoying his newfound state of hairlessness.
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5 months ago ::
Feb 07, 2013 - 5:47AM
#269
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We...we...feel...so...liberated. We used to feel sorry for the biomasses we experimented on, but now we truly understand what it means to be whole. Your vision is exemplary Detektazoline, second only to ours in this regard.
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5 months ago ::
Feb 07, 2013 - 6:01AM
#270
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Ulcaster's Journal
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Note to self:
Strange things are happening at the main lab.
I believe some of the other students are conducting unauthorized experiments.
I need to keep my eye on this.
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