I had a placeholder post, but I accidentally rolled dice on it...
I'm going against RDW, attacking the White Hill.
Humshelter Monk - Creature - Human Shaman Lifelink At the beginning of each end step, you gain life equal to double the amount of noncombat damage dealt to you this turn. Hear the prayers of the people, receive the gifts from the gods. 2/2
Contest-Specific Redeemable Prizes: DaytimeLantern - +5 points on any score-based contest. Redeemable once. If contest is multiple rounds, only redeemable in a single round.
so this wasn't a lie, per se, but it may have suffered from a slight deficit of truth. but by my calculations I HAVE 28 MINUTES LEFT
Imma choose the grey hill because Rush didn't attack that. what archetypes dominated? affinity did. and that'd be a perfect time to make an artifact hoser. but that's ugly and hard to force through. affinity's biggest strength was its resilience, attacking it from one angle with a cheap artifact just means it'll turn around and win with a different thing. unless you attack the lands. everything hinges on the lands. null rod did this. granulate tried but was too expensive. (EDIT: NO IT DIDN'T. HOLY **** GRANULATE SUCKS) but we need a one-drop, really. to stop affinity cold you have to hit before ravager on the draw. how do we do that? well, call me crazy, but sometimes when a problem calls for a hammer, you just hit it with a god damn hammer.
Solenoid Barrier- Artifact Creature-Wall Defender Activated abilities of artifacts cost an additional to activate. On a world of metal, he who controls the magnets is king. 0/3
on top of the overall brutality of the lockdown on their lands, it also has enough toughness to stand in front of those frogmite s all day, all without doing much harm at all to any other archetype. maybe a little to white weenie decks with lots of equipment. also good in vintage, where it shuts down moxen, although they have other ways of doing that. also this is pretty strong. but you're asking me to shut down a dominant archetype, so it kinda has to be.
also note that even this will sometimes be too slow, if they have the chrome mox . in that case though, you can still stall them out a bit, and they can't sac anything to ravager once this is out. so, you know, there's that? affinity was broken.
alt. flavor text: "****ing magnets. how do they work?"~Raksha Golden Cub
Rush: So this thing is sideboard vs things like Deathrite Shaman , Bloodbraid Elf and Kitchen Finks right? Non-mana is a little clunky - I'd almost prefer it say 'of non-land permanents', but I guess then it doesn't hit things like Inkmoth or Wolfrun. This is pretty strong for control decks, and gives aggro white decks a boatload more time in which to deal, as well as occasionally shutting of things like incidental life gain from Finks, which is kind of cool. Despite all that, it doesn't do very much. But if Stony Silence can be a reasonable Modern sideboard card, then this might too. It's interesting the way this plays differently for aggro vs control builds. Flavour is OK, wow is middling. 5+5+5=15/30
Jo: OMG, RDW is shutdown. This is a blunt instrument which does very little against other matchups (which is fine - this is a sidebaord card really). The weird thing is this is a bit of a Lightning Rod for the burn spells that would otherwise be aimed at your face. It creates an interesting tension, because while they're not likely to let it live, it's using their valuable burn resources regardless. Hmm. It seems fine, though I'm not 100% across the flavour. It's got some grunt too. 5+5+6=16/30
Fenix: So Dissipate + Essence Scatter . I'm not sure about how I feel about this one. Dissipate's exile is really there to hurt things like re-animator and flashback. Most of the time this is exile just to get around 'can't be countered', which are generally paid for. This clearly owns Cavern fuelled stuff, but Caverns are quite limited in terms of what they can pay for anyway. Is it too far? Probably not. I guess I'm just not a massive fan of outclassing Scatter so hard. Flavour is a bit ordinary, and it doesn't have a lot of oomph. 5+3+3=11/30
morticianjohn: Heh, that's pretty neat. I think the trample is a big hit, especially for a three drop that does it's job just by suiciding into the red zone anyway. If it sticks, you stand a good chance of winning the game on the spot given it's not out of the question for a reanimator deck to have 10+ cards in the bin. The flavour is good but a touch clumsy, and it's got some pop. Pretty good I'd say. 5+5+6=16/30
Lobster: I think I'd prefer one or the other in these abilities, as there's quite a bit of overlap (in most cases the prevention of activated abilities stops lands attacking / blocking). It's weird, but that makes me like the first ability less. It has a very narrow focus for creating more than one mana, with Urzatron and then the totally busted Academy etc. The way it's worded also makes me wonder what happens - does it add one? None? I'm not sufficiently judgely to work it out, but I suspect your reminder text is wrong, especially wrt Urzatron, which has a replacement effect applied, then this one doesn't replace, it just stops more than one mana. Interesting nonetheless. Flavour is awesomesauce, and it does a neat job of impressing. 4+9+5=18/30
Glasir: Interesting. The first impression I have is that it's a potential combo piece with your 'splash damage' decks. I'm envisaging some sort of combination of Snapcaster, Runic Repetition, and Show and Tell to keep casting it with whatever stuff you want. But it does hit reanimator, so yay. It also strikes me as possibly archetype defining for an unearth type approach where you get stuff back. Funnily enough I think this shuts down Pod more than anything else, robbing them of the opportunity to incrementally improve their guys, and wrecking their tempo, though even then it gives opportunities for double EtB effects, one free, one paid for. This does SO MUCH. Flavour is OK, but a little flat. It makes a good impression. 4+5+5=14/30
morticianjohn is repelled by Jo and loses a life! Glasir is repelled by Jo and loses a life! Lobster takes the Green Hill from Jo!
Confused: Words. Quite a few. To be honest I don't really like the second ability. I'm aware that's because counterspells are pretty much pigeonholed into blue, but it's still a bleed, even from the colour that brings us Guttural Response . This is also resilient to the point of silliness. They can't use instant speed removal ever if this thing is in your graveyard, or you just get a 3/2 hexproof guy which makes life hard for them in a lot of ways. I think this a little too non-specific in the way it goes about things, as it hates on counters, burn, removal, flash guys - the whole lot. I'm fine with the Troll thing, (hexproof is pretty trolly after all), but the flavour text, while to the point, doesn't provide a lot of depth, and it's just a bit wordy to press hard on the splash-o-meter hard with what it does. 4+4+4=12/30
vlord: This is pretty good, though it doesn't strike me so much as hate as kind-of-strictly-better-oring-mind-control-cross (or Kosbomc for short). It's better than O-ring because you get the guy. It's better than Mind Control, because you can't ice the enchantment once you control it. It's also far easier to construct bounce shenanigans with, because you don't have to worry about trigger order. Once it's down, you bounce it. It's a good card, really it is, but very, very strong (especially compared to say, Detention Sphere and I think it would end up well and truly in the deck you're trying to hate out, even if it is effective against it. Flavour is just alright. 6+5+3=14/30
Dudibus: Neato. I really like the simplicity of this one. The cantrip seems a little unnecessary on a three drop hate card (compare the aforementioned Stony Silence . This brings the hammer down pretty hard on some versions of reanimator, as well as madness fuelled shenanigans, but does it masquerading as a Spellbook variant. Wheel of Sun and Moon is kind of similar in how it works to some extent, and that sees play, so as a variant this seems fine, though it brings down the wow factor a bit. Flavour is very nice, I like it a lot. 6+7+5=18/30
pablo: Duuuude. What? I think this is far too much book keeping. Also, to use an example that was used on one of my cards from a while ago, what happens if you have both a Tarmogoyf and a Serra Avatar (or whatever) on the go at once. This is just way too complex. I love your innovation, but let's chalk this one up as an error. Do not get the flavour either, but it's interesting. I can't give you bang points, because it's a fizzler. 0+3+0=3/30
Confused is repelled by Lobster and loses a life! vlord is repelled by Lobster and loses a life! Dudibus is barely repelled by Lobster and loses a life! pablo is repelled by Lobster and loses a life! Lobster holds the Gold Hill!
FTK: This appears to attempt to fix a problem rather than be effective against a deck type. The issue being that it sounds like you're trying to clock out combo, but then you provide it with more resources. I don't think this accomplishes anything. I would always always always cycle this. Also - dude, colourless ramp for everyone? Kudos for committing hard, but I don't get the feels on this one. Flavour is hazy but coherent. 1+4+2=7/30
altimis: This thing hits you in the face, that's for sure. I like that you can build around it with mana dudes to reduce the damage. That does unfortunately make it crazy powerful in it's own right. The fact that you can also defend yourself with it makes me think a lot of players would just mull into this, defend with it and then, I don't know, Shape Anew ? It's a possibility anyway. Interesting regardless. I don't mind the somewhat generic flavour either. 5+5+5=15/30
Niklor: That's very Johnny. In fact I think it's too much Johnny, as all I can see is a drawback with a workaround. The plus side being that the work around is 'If I have a pinger (or Sulfuric Vortex ?) you can't attack me ever'. I guess what I don't like is that it's a piece that does next to nothing on it's own. They're still going to burn you after combat, hell, they get the option to shut down your guys with a ping or burn spell before combat on your turn, all for the cost of hitting you in the face. I like the flavour, though the wow is all on other cards. 3+4+3=10/30
razor: Tee hee. That's pretty neat. And holy hell that rips affinity. No mana from your lands actually just makes affinity stuff, well, fair, because it's still reducing costs. It just means that Froggies might be T3/4 instead of 2 at the latest. I really like this one actually. The flavour isn't the greatest (well, except for the name). I guess as a common / uncommon defender is lacks a bit of punch, but it shines as a hate card. 7+6+4=17/30
FTK is repelled by Glasir and loses a life! Niklor is repelled by Glasir and loses a life! razor takes the Grey Hill from Glasir!
CL: That's pretty strong. It's good that it doesn't add coloured. I do think it's costed OK for repeatable Force Spike s. But repeatable Spikes that come on 1/1 flyers that you could use to Mana Leak brings up the power. I don't think it's over the top though - that would be 12 mana for a Leak, but the 1/1 flying guys in a tribe that seriously cares about how many things it could hit withSpellstutter Sprites isn't a small deal. The card exiling seems OK, but in terms of efficacy why not just Rest in Peace type? I get a few things from it, but archetype hate isn't one of them. Still, it's powerful though solid and can do some pretty cool things. Needs more flavour. 5+4+4=13/30
CL is repelled by vlord and loses a life! vlord holds the Brown Hill!
Oh hey, this! Another round? Why sure thing! But only if each and every one of you promise to go and vote in the Champs final first. Still the best community contest.
Lives have fallen! Bodies litter the battlefield. Lobster was the only contestant to expand his realm, and impressively took down four invaders on defence. Some of you might be feeling a little flat with no hills and first blood drawn, but it's at these moments that greatest victories can happen!
Congratulations, you've found My Lie Policy: Only when i'm prompted, i might lie. (policy still in the refinement process.)
I am both rational and instinctive. I value self-knowledge and understanding of the world; my ultimate goal is self-improvement and improvement of the world around me. At best, I am focused and methodical; at worst, I am obsessive and amoral.Show
Designed as a limited bomb and in some cases a finisher, or a very heavy build around me card on the basis of Timely Reinforcements . It's almost a Choose one, but with less control. It depends on how the game has gone. First, if you have a larger graveyard than an opponent, any opponent discards their hand. Second, if you have less cards in hand than an opponent, any opponent draws ten cards. Only in multiplayer games will you ever get both options. (Or with much assistance)
I originally had the order reversed. Less cards in hand makes opponent draw ten. Then, if you have more in graveyard, they discard their hand. But then the cost would be rather expensive and would require less planning and therefore not follow this criteria as much.
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Previous Episodes:Show
Okay, here is the clincher. I've been waiting to say this.
The "cam girl" this was inspired by was just a girl from a social networking website, Stickam. Her name was TinyTerror and she was just a regular girl who was on her webcam, totally unrelated to any type of adult content.
I hope you all feel really smart now.
This is like someone coming into class with a bloody nose and everyone's like "Jeez what happened to you" and they're like "I ran into a wall" and everyone laughs at them for being an idiot but then at the end of the class they say "HAHA JUST KIDDING I PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!! TALK ABOUT OWNED HAHAHAHAHA"
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
Sorin walked into the chamber where his newly wed bride, Vampy, awaited. A beam of moonlight illuminated his brilliant silver hair as he strode with confidence towards the bed. His shirtless body showcased his powerful abdominal muscles and he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees.
What Lies Beneath the Mountains Instant As an additional cost to cast ~, sacrifice all creatures you control. Whenever ~ is cast, counter it unless you control three untapped Mountains. Until end of Combat Phase, you may cast creatures without paying their mana cost as if they had flash. Upon the completion of the initial campaign, we believed to have wiped out over 90 percent of the population. Unfortunately, our estimates did not take into account those monsters who slept beneath the Jaggedhorizon. I advise we abandon this war and recover from our losses. And never return again.
I, Niklor, in the event of a situation where I am placed at L-1, in other words 1 vote away from being lynched, will bring the hammer vote down upon myself unless it is a known Lylo situation by either announcement or general consensus. Note, if the general consensus is that it's Lylo on days when it clearly isn't, I will ignore them. Please respect the self-hammer by not hammering Niklor in non-Lylo scenarios.