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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 3:33PM
#1
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Just a collection of the worst magic rares ever. Some pretty funny stuff in there.
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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 3:44PM
#2
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Date Joined:
Nov 27, 2005
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I don't get it. Am I missing some section where he writes a few paragraphs mocking the card or is this just a matter of "MAN, REMEMBER HOW OLD CARDS HAD WILDLY VARIABLE POWER LEVELS?"
Zammm = Batman. Bronies unite."I'd call you a genius, but I'm in the room." It's my sig in a box
Show
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
Funny story:
InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game.
I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul:
Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy."
Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb."
Me: "*Sigh*. Okay."
I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board.
Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious. 
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol. 
I have the same problem with women.
Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
Show
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now.
O' Jesus
Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle.
Amen.
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears  would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic  , giving you time to set up your silly  combo  . Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills 
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 4:10PM
#3
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Date Joined:
Jan 23, 2007
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Jesus has spoken, the thread is now over. Seriously, a list of bad rares is uninteresting. At least rank them. And why hate bad rares? They're funny. Except mudhole  . **** mudhole . How many cards are there which would still be bad if they cost two less, and added "draw a card?" **Yes, I'm aware that this card would actually be great as a hoser now. Back when it came out, my statement was true.
Spoiler:
Show
My sig was so awesome it broke Browsers, I had to remove it.
Support Magic Fiction! Or Bolas will eat youYou should never explain layers to people unless one of the following is true: they're studying for a judge exam, you're both in a Ben Affleck movie and it's the only way to save the world, or you hate them.
We try to maintain the illusion that Magic cards are written in English.
Hell, if they steal from us, we'd be honored.
oh my god, AWESOME!
Then changing the Slivers was your idea! haha
lol
Occassionally when catering, I've been put the task of arranging Fruit and Cheese or Grilled Vegetable platters. More than once a high class buffet has started with the mark of Phyrexia upon it. Since i've got a good eye for color so it looks great to people who don't get the "joke" (it's a niceley divided circle after all: the outline gives you 4-6 "regions" to work with), this has actually got me put on platter design more often, resulting in Phyrexia's presence at more private and industry events.
I have 6743 Planeswalker points, that's probably more than you. "Destiny, chance, fate, fortune, mana screw; they're all just ways of claiming your successes without claiming your failures."  Gerrard of the Weatherlight
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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 6:07PM
#4
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- UnCon Prizewinner 2008
- Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil
- Chairman of the Board
Date Joined:
Jul 29, 2006
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my second one was tomb of urami  which is playable in a couple of legacy decks, this guy sux
firstrike
Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
This definitely doesn't mean what you think it means.
I was referring to the painting The Treachery of Images.
I know.
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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 6:33PM
#5
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- UnCon Prizewinner 2008
- …mmm
Date Joined:
Jan 20, 2008
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my second one was tomb of urami which is playable in a couple of legacy decks, this guy sux
And I got Archangel's Light  and Nefarious Lich  . I'm under the impression mangeraker is just bad.
lel♯ jenk♯ ∞
Show
I'm the world's leading astrophysicist. You can trust me, because I said I was.
What's wrong with my formating?
you make paragraphs shorter than the page width
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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 8:55PM
#6
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Date Joined:
Jun 26, 2012
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A lot of rares are pretty crappy. I look at alot of rares and go thats actually a rare?
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7 months ago ::
Nov 02, 2012 - 10:39PM
#7
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Date Joined:
Jun 14, 2006
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I was very upset during time spiral because I kept opening norin the wary  but in the days of mythic rares I have come to appreciate the ability to print crappy rares like moonlace  . A lot of people enjoyed playing norin the wary with pandemonium  types of cards and where else could they print a terrible card? In hindsight maybe I shouldn't have gotten so upset about Norin because we as the fan base have essentially removed their ability to put flavor cards like that into future sets.
Don't be too smart to have fun
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7 months ago ::
Nov 03, 2012 - 3:20AM
#8
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Archangel's Light without doubt. People could've pulled Sorin, Huntsmaster, or Aristocrat instead.
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7 months ago ::
Nov 03, 2012 - 5:21AM
#9
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Date Joined:
Nov 27, 2005
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Archangel's Light without doubt.
People could've pulled Sorin, Huntsmaster, or Aristocrat instead.
That one's not even fun to mock, since WotC has explained why it exists (They had another mythic, which proved to be WHOOPS at the last minute, so they threw in Light as an eleventh hour replacement).
Zammm = Batman. Bronies unite."I'd call you a genius, but I'm in the room." It's my sig in a box
Show
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
Funny story:
InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game.
I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul:
Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy."
Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb."
Me: "*Sigh*. Okay."
I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board.
Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
Show
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now.
O' Jesus
Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle.
Amen.
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic , giving you time to set up your silly combo . Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
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7 months ago ::
Nov 03, 2012 - 6:03AM
#10
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Archangel's Light without doubt.
People could've pulled Sorin, Huntsmaster, or Aristocrat instead.
That one's not even fun to mock, since WotC has explained why it exists (They had another mythic, which proved to be WHOOPS at the last minute, so they threw in Light as an eleventh hour replacement).
I understand that it was more or less of a filler for the 14-17 Mythic standard per set, even though Dark Ascension would've been fine with just 14 mythics. I still think that a single look would have sufficed for someone to see how underwhelming it is, even at it's creation for the set.
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you loads
