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9 months ago ::
Oct 05, 2012 - 9:59PM
#1
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You wake in wracking pain. You are missing several fingernails, and in the sepia light you can make out lazily tied bandages around what feel like very deep wounds. You try to remember how you were hurt, but your thoughts are half-formed; they fizzle out halfway through their journey.
Too weak to move, you squint across the stone floor with the eye whose vision is not occluded by an battered, inflated eyelid. Not far away are black iron bars, but beyond that you can only see the vaguely man-shaped shadows that the mind conjures onto places that the candles have not illuminated. With a groan, you turn your head to the other side, ignoring the dark pain at the bottom of your skull. The other side of your cage — it must be a cage — is identical. Tall, black-metal bars, dimly lit from a torch mounted on a dull stone wall. Craning your neck, you see a sigil on the metal brace which bears the torch. A candle encircled with a crown. The Fire Queen's emblem.
And slowly the wounds make sense: torture. And the bars make sense. Imprisoned.
You must have confessed to something. But what?
Confess
Create a card based on one of the following crimes:- Heresy
- Conspiracy
- Regicide
- Banditry
- Usury
The Queen's militia worked for one week to extract confessions, but only there are only twenty vacant cells in the Queen's prison. Only the very worst of the confessions will be locked up, the rest will be sent to the to the Endless Glacier to work in Her mana mines until their hands dissolve or they are turned mad from the constant exposure to raw blue mana.
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9 months ago ::
Oct 05, 2012 - 10:06PM
#2
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Date Joined:
Jun 26, 2007
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EDIT: Original concept thrown out. New one below! Rampant Treachery   Enchantment [Rare] When Rampant Treachery enters the battlefield, choose a color. Creatures of the chosen color have, "At the beginning of your upkeep, this creature deals 1 damage to you." "A touch of dark magic to fan the flames, and their own petty weaknesses do the rest."
Miss Envy, the Heartbreak Queen
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9 months ago ::
Oct 05, 2012 - 10:24PM
#3
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Date Joined:
Oct 21, 2007
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Killer of Kings -   Creature - Skeleton AssassinWhen ~ enters the battlefield, it fights target creature unless that creature's controller confesses. (to confess, a player may discard a card with the same name as a card in his or her graveyard.)
: Regenerate ~.
Confess, cur! Or would you rather be Razi'krul's first victim since his execution?5/1
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9 months ago ::
Oct 05, 2012 - 11:13PM
#4
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Date Joined:
Jan 13, 2012
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Quotes
Show
Okay, here is the clincher. I've been waiting to say this.
The "cam girl" this was inspired by was just a girl from a social networking website, Stickam. Her name was TinyTerror and she was just a regular girl who was on her webcam, totally unrelated to any type of adult content.
I hope you all feel really smart now. 
This is like someone coming into class with a bloody nose and everyone's like "Jeez what happened to you" and they're like "I ran into a wall" and everyone laughs at them for being an idiot but then at the end of the class they say "HAHA JUST KIDDING I PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!! TALK ABOUT OWNED HAHAHAHAHA"
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
Sorin walked into the chamber where his newly wed bride, Vampy, awaited. A beam of moonlight illuminated his brilliant silver hair as he strode with confidence towards the bed. His shirtless body showcased his powerful abdominal muscles and he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees.
I wish more girls play magic cards...
Have you considered assassinating Kevin?
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9 months ago ::
Oct 06, 2012 - 12:24AM
#5
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Date Joined:
Dec 10, 2010
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Forced Confession InstantDestroy target creature unless its controller sacrifices two permanents. You or your accomplices will die today... and lucky you, you get to pick!
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9 months ago ::
Oct 06, 2012 - 8:05AM
#6
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Date Joined:
Aug 30, 2002
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Sublime Creditor  Creature — Human Advisor If an opponent would draw a card, that player may pay 1 life. If that player does, you gain 1 life. If not, that player skips that draw. "The shiftless call us shopkeepers who pretend to virtue. But is there a greater miracle than the genesis of value added or compound interest? A single zino in an Orzhov's hand becomes three, a thousand. Barbarians trade goods; the divine lend."1/1
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9 months ago ::
Oct 06, 2012 - 8:19AM
#7
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Date Joined:
May 30, 2010
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Kingdom Come
 Sorcery Destroy all nonland permanents the opposing Emperor controls, regardless of your range of influence. "The king hangs up his crown when there is no one left to rule."
–Gamvar, bandit warlord
Emperor Magic
Embrace imagination.
Lord of YMtC | Ten Rounds Contest Winner
Solphos – A fan set with a 'combo matters' theme
Fool's Gold – The second set of the Solphos blockMore
Show
Each of its nine tails is imbued with supernatural power, and it can live for a thousand years.
My Standard deck: Setting SunThink of how Neo couldn't beat the robots, but they kept him around anyways to defeat Agent Smith. Sure, the robots might not like having a Neo running rampant because instead of playing their favorite 4 drop fatty robot, they have to play a bunch of one mana Matrixs to contain him, but at least Neo keeps Agent Smith from reanimating an Iona on turn two.
Are you saying I'm trying to blame my loss on something? I don't care that I lost, I care that he's a sore loser, and a cheater, and a liar.
CKY, are you bad at anything?
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
I mean, In KevinWorld, Mark is reading the very words I'm typing as well. Heck, in KevinWorld maybe I am Mark.
I'm beginning to think CKY may be anime in real life...
Don't go anywhere CKY, I need to crash dramatically through your window and propose marriage and I don't want you throwing off my paradrop.
[In response to a thread about how hard grading is]
Upon reading this, I've found myself completely unable to operate in the world. I tried to decide what to eat for breakfast, and pondered the vast consequences of my choice. How do I balance my dietary needs against my desire to eat good-tasting food? Should I factor in how long it takes to prepare? Cereal is ready in moments, but bacon takes longer to cook.
Then there is the impact on other industries. Do people in the cereal industry deserve to be employed more than people in the bacon industry? Which industry should I support? I don't even have the data regarding HOW MUCH the cereal industry benefits from me eating a bowl of cereal, or how much the bacon industry benefits from me eating a side of bacon. How can I compare two qualities I can't even quantify?
And let's not forget the milk on the cereal. In addition to determining whether or not milk is healthy for me, how much that benefits the milk industry, and how much the people in the milk industry deserve my support, we have to factor in the fact that cows are put under brutal conditions in order to collect thier milk. Of course, the same goes for the pigs, and then they get killed. Of course, I really like bacon. So I need to come up with a scale that compares the value of cow happiness to pig happiness to my happiness. What trade-offs am I willing to make here? Does the fact that the pig gets put out of its misery count as a plus or a minus? Isn't bacon bad for me anyway?
Deciding what to eat for breakfast (or any meal) is impossible. Help me!
I must admit chinkeeyong, you have the most interesting character ideas; and you play them well.
Anyway, you'd be surprised about Time Stop. When I first saw that card as a relatively new player I didn't see its full potential until I read the reminder text. Is it that unintuitive, though? Mine I mean. What is possibility? Is it possible for me to type these words with my tusks? No, because I don't have tusks. Although I am now tempted to go buy some - obviously not from poachers or whatever - and use them as typing apparatus. I could be the best secretary ever. "What's your words per minute sir?" "Well, only six, but I use these tusks to type them." "You're hired!" That was the interview. And is anyone else disappointed that "apparati" is not the plural form of apparatus? I just could strangle a dictionary, because "apparatuses" is a real word. I guess it sounds pretty cool. I'll call them my Apparatusks.
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9 months ago ::
Oct 07, 2012 - 11:36AM
#8
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- YMtC Champion
- Infinitely Patient
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But is there a greater miracle than the genesis of value added or compound interest?
Haha, you.
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9 months ago ::
Oct 07, 2012 - 11:41AM
#9
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Date Joined:
Oct 12, 2010
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Usury Enchantment When ~ ETB, you gain 10 life. At the beginning of your upkeep, put a debt counter on ~, then lose life equal to the number of debt counters on ~. "Oh, you want to borrow from me? You have my interest."
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
----
Autocard is your friend.
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] = Lightning Bolt 
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9 months ago ::
Oct 07, 2012 - 11:54AM
#10
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Date Joined:
Jul 21, 2010
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Assassin's revelry  Enchantment When a legendary permanent enters the battlefield it is destroyed unless its controler pays  . One day, those who live in the shadows will have their turn. That Day is today. (Regicide)
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