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9 months ago ::
Sep 14, 2012 - 8:13PM
#1
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Date Joined:
May 19, 2012
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So, I was reminded today of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest: www.bulwer-lytton.com/. As some of you may know, it is an annual competition for the best first sentence of a work of literature. Some of them are truly entertaining to read. I was wondering if y'all'd be interested in a little mini-version of that here, except focused on the Magic World? If you were to write a Magic Novel, how would you begin it? I'd rather not judge such a thing, because I am no expert on Magic Lore, and I imagine that a lot of the subtleties would go over my head, but I'd be happy to host, and vote, and potentially even participate. Anyway, the rules are simple and I'm going to steal them directly from Bulwer-Lytton. Really, there is only one (kinda two) guideline(s): Sentences may be of any length but we strongly recommend that entries not go beyond 50 or 60 words. Entries must be “original” (as it were) and previously unpublished. So, Magical sentences away! (P.S. if you guys aren't into this, that's okay. I come from YMtC, and up there contests and competitions are like most of the cool things going on.)
Whiny weenie and observant aren't the same thing pablo, somehow I thought you'd understand.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 14, 2012 - 9:37PM
#2
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Keeping it nice and simple, yet brimful of possibilities:
And so people say to me, "How do I know if a word is real?" You know, anyone who's read a children's book knows that love makes things real. If you love a word, use it! That makes it real. Being in the dictionary is an artificial distinction; it doesn't make the word any more real than any other word. If you love a word, it becomes real.
--Erin McKean, Redefining the Dictionary
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9 months ago ::
Sep 14, 2012 - 9:48PM
#3
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Date Joined:
Jun 28, 2008
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Keeping it nice and simple, yet brimful of possibilities:
Jaya Ballard was bored.
Oh God....
Also, some of those sentences from the website are genius, and some of those puns would make my dad cringe.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year mymoment
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 12:26AM
#4
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Date Joined:
May 30, 2010
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In the hushed back alleys of Stensia's slums, in smoldering hovels and behind bloodstained walls, it is said that a certain elixir makes men immortal.
Embrace imagination.
Lord of YMtC | Ten Rounds Contest Winner
Solphos – A fan set with a 'combo matters' theme
Fool's Gold – The second set of the Solphos blockMore
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Each of its nine tails is imbued with supernatural power, and it can live for a thousand years.
My Standard deck: Setting SunThink of how Neo couldn't beat the robots, but they kept him around anyways to defeat Agent Smith. Sure, the robots might not like having a Neo running rampant because instead of playing their favorite 4 drop fatty robot, they have to play a bunch of one mana Matrixs to contain him, but at least Neo keeps Agent Smith from reanimating an Iona on turn two.
Are you saying I'm trying to blame my loss on something? I don't care that I lost, I care that he's a sore loser, and a cheater, and a liar.
CKY, are you bad at anything?
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
I mean, In KevinWorld, Mark is reading the very words I'm typing as well. Heck, in KevinWorld maybe I am Mark.
I'm beginning to think CKY may be anime in real life...
Don't go anywhere CKY, I need to crash dramatically through your window and propose marriage and I don't want you throwing off my paradrop.
[In response to a thread about how hard grading is]
Upon reading this, I've found myself completely unable to operate in the world. I tried to decide what to eat for breakfast, and pondered the vast consequences of my choice. How do I balance my dietary needs against my desire to eat good-tasting food? Should I factor in how long it takes to prepare? Cereal is ready in moments, but bacon takes longer to cook.
Then there is the impact on other industries. Do people in the cereal industry deserve to be employed more than people in the bacon industry? Which industry should I support? I don't even have the data regarding HOW MUCH the cereal industry benefits from me eating a bowl of cereal, or how much the bacon industry benefits from me eating a side of bacon. How can I compare two qualities I can't even quantify?
And let's not forget the milk on the cereal. In addition to determining whether or not milk is healthy for me, how much that benefits the milk industry, and how much the people in the milk industry deserve my support, we have to factor in the fact that cows are put under brutal conditions in order to collect thier milk. Of course, the same goes for the pigs, and then they get killed. Of course, I really like bacon. So I need to come up with a scale that compares the value of cow happiness to pig happiness to my happiness. What trade-offs am I willing to make here? Does the fact that the pig gets put out of its misery count as a plus or a minus? Isn't bacon bad for me anyway?
Deciding what to eat for breakfast (or any meal) is impossible. Help me!
I must admit chinkeeyong, you have the most interesting character ideas; and you play them well.
Anyway, you'd be surprised about Time Stop. When I first saw that card as a relatively new player I didn't see its full potential until I read the reminder text. Is it that unintuitive, though? Mine I mean. What is possibility? Is it possible for me to type these words with my tusks? No, because I don't have tusks. Although I am now tempted to go buy some - obviously not from poachers or whatever - and use them as typing apparatus. I could be the best secretary ever. "What's your words per minute sir?" "Well, only six, but I use these tusks to type them." "You're hired!" That was the interview. And is anyone else disappointed that "apparati" is not the plural form of apparatus? I just could strangle a dictionary, because "apparatuses" is a real word. I guess it sounds pretty cool. I'll call them my Apparatusks.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 1:42AM
#5
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Date Joined:
Aug 28, 2012
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Tezzeret awoke wondering if such a sex machine would help him earn Gitaxias' love.
"The fuel on which science runs is ignorance. Science is like a hungry furnace that must be fed logs from the forests of ignorance that surround us. In the process, the clearing we call knowledge expands, but the more it expands, the longer its perimeter and the more ignorance comes into view." -Matt Ridley, Genome
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 2:20AM
#6
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Liliana lissened to MCR and cut her wrists.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 5:10AM
#7
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Date Joined:
Nov 27, 2005
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Jace paused for a moment tDACK FAYDEN.
Zammm = Batman. Bronies unite."I'd call you a genius, but I'm in the room." It's my sig in a box
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Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
Funny story:
InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game.
I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul:
Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy."
Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb."
Me: "*Sigh*. Okay."
I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board.
Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious. 
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol. 
I have the same problem with women.
Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
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And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now.
O' Jesus
Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle.
Amen.
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears  would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic  , giving you time to set up your silly  combo  . Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills 
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 7:46AM
#8
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Date Joined:
Dec 12, 2008
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Tezzeret awoke to find that his clothes had, once more, vanished in the night, and raising his newly remade fist to the heavens, the Planeswalker howled, "Quit screwing with me, Bolas!"
(This is, of course the first sentence of Tezzeret Punches Out The Multiverse.)
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 8:17AM
#9
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Date Joined:
Aug 28, 2012
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Tezzeret awoke to find that his clothes had, once more, vanished in the night, and raising his newly remade fist to the heavens, the Planeswalker howled, "Quit screwing me Bolas!"
(This is, of course the first sentence of Tezzeret Punches Out The Multiverse.)
Fixed that for you.
"The fuel on which science runs is ignorance. Science is like a hungry furnace that must be fed logs from the forests of ignorance that surround us. In the process, the clearing we call knowledge expands, but the more it expands, the longer its perimeter and the more ignorance comes into view." -Matt Ridley, Genome
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9 months ago ::
Sep 15, 2012 - 8:28AM
#10
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Date Joined:
Feb 27, 2012
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The village of Layton was one of Bant's more prosperous locales, with lush green fields, burbling brooks that flowed year round, the sweet fragance of blooming flowers that left the taste of mint on one's tongue, and a titanic ash-grey dragon that bellowed triumphantly as it started to burn Layton to the ground.
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you loads
