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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 7:51AM
#21
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Date Joined:
Jan 13, 2012
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It annoys me how bad she makes the Azorius look in this one. Every Azorius mentioned is super corrupt and/or uncompassionate.
Because that's exactly what they are?
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Okay, here is the clincher. I've been waiting to say this.
The "cam girl" this was inspired by was just a girl from a social networking website, Stickam. Her name was TinyTerror and she was just a regular girl who was on her webcam, totally unrelated to any type of adult content.
I hope you all feel really smart now. 
This is like someone coming into class with a bloody nose and everyone's like "Jeez what happened to you" and they're like "I ran into a wall" and everyone laughs at them for being an idiot but then at the end of the class they say "HAHA JUST KIDDING I PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!! TALK ABOUT OWNED HAHAHAHAHA"
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
Sorin walked into the chamber where his newly wed bride, Vampy, awaited. A beam of moonlight illuminated his brilliant silver hair as he strode with confidence towards the bed. His shirtless body showcased his powerful abdominal muscles and he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees.
I wish more girls play magic cards... 
Have you considered assassinating Kevin?
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 8:16AM
#22
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To be fair (not that those monsters deserve it), the Azorius shtick is being super opressive, not corrupt per se.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 8:22AM
#23
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Date Joined:
Nov 11, 2009
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I found this to be a compelling, well written story. Thank you!
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 8:34AM
#24
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Date Joined:
Sep 14, 2010
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I like her. Making three tokens that could kill instantly makes for a nice dramatic effect that still allows answers before they actually do. I'll definitely shove her in my Ghave commander deck (kill three opponents in one turn, live the dream!)
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 8:51AM
#25
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It helps to remember that like the Alaran shards, each guild is extra-obsessed with its two component colors, at the expense of the excluded colors. And as the Alaran shards show, absolute exclusion leads to...problems. Usually of the stultification variety. Bant became trapped in cyclical rituals , Grixis in ravenous undeath, Jund in unalloyed predation, etc.
Azorius's problem, as mentioned back in the original Ravnica cycle, is that they want stillness. Perhaps better still, they want a world where LaPlace's Demon is a reality, with themselves taking that role; they don't want to be surprised by anything, ever. That's why you have people like Relov who are vulnerable to bribery; taking the bribe (as long as the other side maintains their part of the bargain, nothing's been left to chance) is better than suborning unpredictability/diminished control.
It really doesn't help that the Azorius scorn the works of red. Red's emotionalism, though, is considered, at least by WotC, to be a necessary foundation of mercy and compassion (remember that this is what's going on with Urabrask and his retinue? They're stymied by red empathy and Phyrexian ultra-perfectionism conflicting with each other?). You probably need white as well--I know I wouldn't call the Gruul or Rakdos empathetic, and the Izzet are open to debate--but the point is, the Azorius are rejecting one of the important components. (Should be interesting to see what their opinion of Zedruu, or Raka in general, would be.) Especially when the opposed colors can be seen as correcting each other. Red reminds white that not everyone has their values, white reminds red that some extremes just shouldn't be taken. In this case, the Azorius have a bad tendency to not realize that there is such a thing as a bad rule, and for that matter, such a thing as a bad interpretation of a good rule. Think of it as purity actually being corrupting, or using cold iron (pure) where steel (alloy/impure) is called for. They've become besotted with purity, mistakenly thinking that "pure" and "good" are perfect synonyms. If all the regulations were followed and all chance nulled, then the implementation was pure, and good by default. Others suffered? If it followed from the pure, then their suffering was not only necessary, but proper. To ones like Relov and Leonos, all mercy really does is encourage and catalyze recklessness. Better for the pall of fear of the law's wrath to slow everything down to perfect anticipatibility.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 10:22AM
#26
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Date Joined:
Aug 19, 2007
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didn't see that one coming
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 10:47AM
#27
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Loved this story and I LOVE the new walker, super flavorful and unique. Not like an 8th jace, love the new blood!
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 11:31AM
#28
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Date Joined:
Aug 31, 2012
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As cool as it is that we are finally returning to Ravnica, I hate how Wizards is disregarding important parts of the original story. The sisters of stone death were supposed to be the last gorgons, and two of them died in the books. The last gorgon is Ludmilla. As cool as this card is, I must disregard it story wise...and that's not the only story hole I've noticed.
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 12:35PM
#29
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As cool as it is that we are finally returning to Ravnica, I hate how Wizards is disregarding important parts of the original story. The sisters of stone death were supposed to be the last gorgons, and two of them died in the books. The last gorgon is Ludmilla. As cool as this card is, I must disregard it story wise...and that's not the only story hole I've noticed.
Well she's a Planeswalker.
Anyway, am I the only one hoping there's gonna be a nice Azoriuz? Basically one who's not like Relov. And is there anyone who likes the Azoriuz besides me?
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9 months ago ::
Sep 05, 2012 - 1:14PM
#30
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Date Joined:
Mar 21, 2012
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Going through the full story, it's obvious that this reads much better as one big story rather than two parts. I'd say it's the best story in Uncharted Realms so far; there are a lot of parts dedicated to characterization (Pretty much the entirety of the promenade scene), allowing us to care more about the people in the stories. This could have easily been one of the Kamigawa vignettes in its quality and length, and that's a compliment (I love the Kamigawa vignettes so much). Also, I like a lot of the little touches, like how Relov signed off the installation of the statue he ended up replacing. Anyway, am I the only one hoping there's gonna be a nice Azoriuz? Basically one who's not like Relov.
Relov used to be a nice Azorius. Keep in mind that it's the system that's corrupt, not all of the individuals within it (Just like each of the other guilds).
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