Simpleminded Goon (C) Creature – Ogre Minion 5/3 Greed is anything but subtle.
Officer Brutality (C) Instant Officer Brutality deals 10 damage to target attacking creature. "The law is but brute force in the service of order." —Judge Mortheon
Unfortunate Coincidence (C) Instant Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the amount of damage dealt to its controller this turn. "End that partnership now or you'll soon find out that Mr. Heinchen's losses will also be your losses." —Morlogar Vesuvi
Draconic Muscle (C) Creature – Dragon Minion 3/3 Flying : Draconic Muscle gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Activate this ability only if you control another Dragon.
Loudmouth Gang (C) Creature – Ogre Rogue 3/2 Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.) The advantage of speaking so loudly is that the shopkeepers don't hear the windows breaking.
Sentry's Doom (C) Instant Sentry's Doom deals 2 damage to target creature. If that creature is untapped, Sentry's Doom deals 4 damage to that creature instead. Violent lives end violently.
Spiked Drink (C) Instant Target creature gets -3/-0 until end of turn and doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step. Niceli poisoners are masters of their art, being able to calculate the time their victims spend incapacitated down to seconds.
Coverer of Tracks (C) Creature – Snake Warrior 2/2 Flash When Coverer of Tracks enters the battlefield, target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
Elder Watchman (C) Creature – Human Soldier 1/7 "I admire his honor. I admire his stand. I admire his will to remain and fight. But I ask whether he is still has what it takes to fight injustice." —Judge Mortheon
Niceli Jail (C) Land Niceli Jail enters the battlefield tapped. When Niceli Jail enters the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to each player. : Add to your mana pool.
Maniac of Cutthroat Alley (U) Creature – Human Rogue 2/2 When Maniac of Cutthroat Alley enters the battlefield, gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste and is a Rogue in addition to its other types until end of turn. "Do it for me."
Poisonfang Hulk (U) Creature – Snake Warrior 4/4 Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.) Fear is but one's body speaking truely.
Slow Bleeding (U) Enchantment At the beginning of your end step, each opponent who was dealt damage this turn loses 1 life. Most Velictans hope not for an honorable death but for a quick one.
Palace of Justice (R) Land Palace of Justice enters the battlefield tapped unless your life total is 20 or greater. : Add or to your mana pool.
I have no idea what else is in the set, and since removal is always good in limited, I'll probably pick Sentry's Doom. It is a very strong card. Maniac of Cutthroat Alley and Draconic Muscle are the other cards I considered.
Okay, here is the clincher. I've been waiting to say this.
The "cam girl" this was inspired by was just a girl from a social networking website, Stickam. Her name was TinyTerror and she was just a regular girl who was on her webcam, totally unrelated to any type of adult content.
I hope you all feel really smart now.
This is like someone coming into class with a bloody nose and everyone's like "Jeez what happened to you" and they're like "I ran into a wall" and everyone laughs at them for being an idiot but then at the end of the class they say "HAHA JUST KIDDING I PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!! TALK ABOUT OWNED HAHAHAHAHA"
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
Sorin walked into the chamber where his newly wed bride, Vampy, awaited. A beam of moonlight illuminated his brilliant silver hair as he strode with confidence towards the bed. His shirtless body showcased his powerful abdominal muscles and he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees.
Maniac of the cutthroat alley and sentry's doom seems like the strongest, when i have no idea what else in your set. Hulk, Dragon and the white removal spell comes second.
I expect Loudmouth Gang and Simpleminded Goon to be weaker than they typically are in draft.
Think of how Neo couldn't beat the robots, but they kept him around anyways to defeat Agent Smith. Sure, the robots might not like having a Neo running rampant because instead of playing their favorite 4 drop fatty robot, they have to play a bunch of one mana Matrixs to contain him, but at least Neo keeps Agent Smith from reanimating an Iona on turn two.
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
I mean, In KevinWorld, Mark is reading the very words I'm typing as well. Heck, in KevinWorld maybe I am Mark.
[In response to a thread about how hard grading is]
Upon reading this, I've found myself completely unable to operate in the world. I tried to decide what to eat for breakfast, and pondered the vast consequences of my choice. How do I balance my dietary needs against my desire to eat good-tasting food? Should I factor in how long it takes to prepare? Cereal is ready in moments, but bacon takes longer to cook.
Then there is the impact on other industries. Do people in the cereal industry deserve to be employed more than people in the bacon industry? Which industry should I support? I don't even have the data regarding HOW MUCH the cereal industry benefits from me eating a bowl of cereal, or how much the bacon industry benefits from me eating a side of bacon. How can I compare two qualities I can't even quantify?
And let's not forget the milk on the cereal. In addition to determining whether or not milk is healthy for me, how much that benefits the milk industry, and how much the people in the milk industry deserve my support, we have to factor in the fact that cows are put under brutal conditions in order to collect thier milk. Of course, the same goes for the pigs, and then they get killed. Of course, I really like bacon. So I need to come up with a scale that compares the value of cow happiness to pig happiness to my happiness. What trade-offs am I willing to make here? Does the fact that the pig gets put out of its misery count as a plus or a minus? Isn't bacon bad for me anyway?
Deciding what to eat for breakfast (or any meal) is impossible. Help me!
Anyway, you'd be surprised about Time Stop. When I first saw that card as a relatively new player I didn't see its full potential until I read the reminder text. Is it that unintuitive, though? Mine I mean. What is possibility? Is it possible for me to type these words with my tusks? No, because I don't have tusks. Although I am now tempted to go buy some - obviously not from poachers or whatever - and use them as typing apparatus. I could be the best secretary ever. "What's your words per minute sir?" "Well, only six, but I use these tusks to type them." "You're hired!" That was the interview. And is anyone else disappointed that "apparati" is not the plural form of apparatus? I just could strangle a dictionary, because "apparatuses" is a real word. I guess it sounds pretty cool. I'll call them my Apparatusks.
@Simpleminded Goon: A pricey vanilla, something you never first pick.
@Officer Brutality: Situational removal that doesn't work when you're ahead.
@Unfortunate Coincidence: Situational removal that doesn't work when you're behind. Also the -X/-X feels tacky because you can't use it as a combat trick without a burn spell, so it feels no better than X damage.
@Draconic Muscle: Kinda the same as Goon. Even though it isn't vanilla, it is not exciting and it is expensive.
@Loudmouth Gang: A solid creature.
@Sentry's Doom: The best removal so far. Much more efficient and not nearly as situational as the other two removal cards.
@Spiked Drink: Not very good.
@Coverer of Tracks: Utility, but it isn't very big and requires you to hold up lots of mana. Just doesn't seem worth it.
@Elder Watchman: I like walls, but this one is way too expensive.
@Maniac of Cutthroat Alley: Seems strong in an aggressive deck. I like it.
@Poisonfang Hulk: Strong as both a defender and attacker. Like the Gang I really like this card, evasion on big guys is strong.
@Slow Bleeding: This wouldn't even be good if it activated every turn.
@Palace of Justice: Good fixing, but not a first pick.
For me the pick is Sentry's Doom, second I'd probably go with Poisonfang Hulk or Maniac of Cutthroat Alley, both strong creatures. I have a little bit of a flavor gripe with Sentry's Doom though. A creature that is attacking every turn isn't really a sentry, so this card should really be a sorcery so it can't hit those creatures.
Incidentally: Sentry's Doom is actually a sorcery (so you can't just throw it for 4 during their precombat main), my mistake. Makes it strictly worse than Flame Slash , but for the set Slash would probably have been too good.
Incidentally: Sentry's Doom is actually a sorcery (so you can't just throw it for 4 during their precombat main), my mistake. Makes it strictly worse than Flame Slash , but for the set Slash would probably have been too good.
I suppose this doesn't change pick order much?
Well it moves from being first pick 95% of the time, to around 75% of the time. (mostly depending on the power of red).
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