Community

Jan 10, 2011 -- 11:15AM, Uhhsam wrote:

giving a magnet to a dude in a mask with a little dagger so he can single-handedly bring down the meanest fatty ever to annihilate a plane .

Feb 23, 2011 -- 10:29AM, RPJesus wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 6:21AM, Dragon_Whelp wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 4:48AM, Riorvard wrote:

Rancor dies to in-response removal.

Yeah... Until next game, where it'll be right back.

Seriously, there's no way to deal with Rancor in any format. It should be banned, except Gleemax is a lobbyist for the Rancor party, so that'll never happen.

You can't ban rancor, it just returns to your deck.

Apr 16, 2011 -- 12:06PM, Dragon_Whelp wrote:

Apr 16, 2011 -- 12:02PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

You might want to actually talk to the Flavor & Storyline Board people... since, you know, our whole reason for playing Magic is the flavor. I'm willing to bet you'll get a lot more interest there than in General.

Indeed, both posters down there would be thrilled.

Apr 26, 2011 -- 5:10PM, Vektor480 wrote:

I think I wasn't direct enough in my last post. I'll try to fix it now.
Ahem...
NO ONE CARES

there you have it.

May 3, 2011 -- 9:29AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

When talks about banning Jace first started, I was thinking that I would see him banned come June 20th. But as I think more about it, I don't really think that Jace is the problem anymore. Sure his power level leaves very little to the imagination (opening Jace is like opening a refrigerator box with a naked girl on the inside), and sure his price does have a strong impact on what players choose to play (playing Jace is like being intimate with a woman and she doesn't charge you in the morning), but it is not the source of all the problems in Standard.

May 24, 2011 -- 12:02AM, SleetFox wrote:

How do people think saving room to print more abilities on cards is dumbing down the game?

Do you really think, say, Akroma would ever be printed if she said, "Akroma can block by creatures with this ability and cannot be blocked by creatures without this ability.  If a creature without this ability would deal combat damage by Akroma would be destroyed, prevent all combat damage that creature would deal to Akroma this combat.  Attacking does not cause Akroma to tap.  If Akroma is blocked and deals lethal damage, it deals the remainder of its damage to the defending player.  Akroma may attack and use abilities that require tapping in the casting cost the turn it enters the battlefield.  Akroma cannot be damaged, enchanted, equipped, blocked or targeted by black or red sources" rather than her "dumbed down" wording she has?  No freaking way.  Keywording and shorthand allows them to make complicated cards easy to play with, allowing them to be printed in the first place.

May 30, 2011 -- 5:57PM, Vektor480 wrote:

The creation of praetors was worth it just because now amoeboid changeling is a praetor.

Jul 6, 2011 -- 4:06AM, Purple_Shrimp wrote:

1. cast frankie peanuts 2. ask opponent "will you concede the game this turn"? if they say yes, you win; if they say no, play a staying power
3. subsequently ask "will you attack this turn"? and "will you cast a spell this turn"? (using a Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir for the second question if necessary) to ensure they can't disrupt the combo
4. donate them a platinum angel
5. play a mox lotus and braingeyser them for every card in their library. play an opalescence and donate them a glorious anthem and a blacker lotus , then play enchanted evening . play and activate a mindslaver and then donate them a fastbond and the mox lotus (returning one of the donates to your hand with eternal witness or whatever)
6. during their turn, play every permanent in their hand (playing lands with fastbond) then (as yourself) cast mirrorweave on the blacker lotus, so every permanent becomes a copy of it. proceed to tear up every card they control, and hopefully do it before they notice that they aren't bound by staying power's ability anymore and can concede

Sep 8, 2011 -- 10:08AM, SereneChaos wrote:

Sep 8, 2011 -- 10:03AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Sep 8, 2011 -- 9:39AM, SereneChaos wrote:

One part of the statement being true=/=the whole statement true.

Whatever.
I'm still here about ten minutes away. Whenever you want to get destroyed in Magic, I'm available.

I would like to get destroyed in Magic, actually. Do you know anybody good enough?

Sep 9, 2011 -- 11:30AM, ElvenSoma wrote:

Please format your statements in a way that doesn't look like a baboon hit its face on your keyboard.

Sep 10, 2011 -- 2:58AM, Purple_Shrimp wrote:

why did Garruk Relentless lose a loyalty counter

Spoiler: Show

to get to the other side

Oct 8, 2011 -- 10:22AM, catowner wrote:

You're such an obvious troll that you have hexproof and : Regenerate.

Nov 7, 2011 -- 2:34AM, RPJesus wrote:

Nov 7, 2011 -- 12:25AM, krichaiushii wrote:

Dark Ritual being overpowered is determined more by what is done with it than the card itself.

True, but the fact that it enables so many ridiculous things is pretty telling. It's like, sure I can use a shotgun as a bludgeoning instrument, but that doesn't make it not a shotgun.

Nov 21, 2011 -- 12:09PM, Yanmato1 wrote:

Shortly before Serra died, she transferred her spark into an angel whose full name was Asha Avacyn Bolas. Her dragon father groomed her for her positions in Alara and Innistrad, and she's also been getting help from her uncle Ugin in the form of Urza, who was resurrected as Marit Lage to be the avatar as which she projects herself into material realms. Grieslbrand is a split personality who sometimes wanders the planes disguised as a human woman named Liliana Vess.

Nov 22, 2011 -- 6:59PM, rulesinquisitor wrote:

Yeah that (Content Removed) really annoys me.

Moderated by MY_self right about naahowwww!

Dec 5, 2011 -- 4:01PM, Gemstone386 wrote:

Dilleux_Lepaire just won the thread.

Jan 21, 2012 -- 12:45PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

And, as usual, Dilleux wins the entire thread. Nice work, sir, nice work.

Dec 14, 2011 -- 2:33PM, signofzeta wrote:

They need to make 9 layers of zones where cards go when they "die".  Much like Hell.

Jan 22, 2012 -- 3:32AM, Escef wrote:

Wow, holy doggy poop, kids, obvious statement is obvious.

Feb 5, 2012 -- 11:35AM, krichaiushii wrote:

Feb 5, 2012 -- 8:48AM, garruk_rellentless wrote:

i don't think your geting it WotC is trying to kill the comption to make it so that there shity app is the only one left.

I haven't tried the app.   How is its use of English grammar?

Cheers!

Feb 23, 2012 -- 1:16PM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Everyone's life would be easier if players would, instead of coming to the 'net for help with a deck, just netdeck and be done with it. And I'm not talking about some Top 8 lists, for the Casualists, too, can benefit from netdecking. I've netdecked plenty of decks from the Casual Play forums from users such as Mown, Raedien, Floopfoot, and a few others. I snatched straight the heck out of my web browser. Yes, people, your original idea fell victim to a savage netdecker. You have been assimiliated.

Suppose I wanted a Zombie deck. Why on earth would I spend time searching Gatherer for a decent list of Zombie cards when Raedien already did it for me? Taking time to be creative or waiting on people on the forums to tell you why your deck sucks or 'go to Casual forums' is a disasterous waste of time (to me).

Feb 24, 2012 -- 2:29AM, RPJesus wrote:

Feb 17, 2012 -- 8:07PM, SereneChaos wrote:

If WotC started putting $100 bills in packs, the players would complain that they folded them wrong.

No, they just spam them with ban requests .

That being said, Magic was ruined back in Alpha when they added all that rules and cards [Debutantes avert your eyes]. My friends and I still like playing it the "pure" way (Basically we go into the woods and hit eachother with wiffle bats while shouting made up obscenities. You know, the way Garfield wanted it to be played). 

Mar 12, 2012 -- 11:50AM, RPJesus wrote:

Don't worry about it. I've come up with a list of changes to fix EDH.

-First off, there's no commander.
-The minimum deck size is 60 cards, and each deck can have up to four of each card, save basic lands and relentless rats. Also decks have no color identity.
-Starting life total is 20.

And voila, now things are balanced.

Mar 16, 2012 -- 11:06PM, catowner wrote:

Here's a clever play you can try yourself:
-Convince friend to run relentless rats.dec in legacy tournament
-Get a deck with lots of mill, yixlid jailer, and humility
-Drop humility and jailer, wait for him to dump his hand, mill him out
-All his rats now have no abilities.  Call a judge because he's playing an illegal deck with more than 4 of a single card.
-Get him/her banned from competitive magic play

Mar 21, 2012 -- 2:30PM, wickeddarkman wrote:

But how to mark them without making the individual sleeve different!

You could buy a skunk and slam it's butt on you deck (pardon the french)

Then after the game just sniff at your opponent's pile of cards and you will know if any of your cards are there!!!

Mar 21, 2012 -- 2:38PM, Terti wrote:

In Soviet Russia, Sorin opens You

Apr 18, 2012 -- 3:33PM, HairlessThoctar wrote:

L, is for the leather gloves you weaaaar.
O, is for the organs that guy could spaaaare.
V, is very very, extraordinay.
E, is for every vagrant i butchered in a wine cellar befooooore.

May 11, 2012 -- 5:18PM, TinGorilla wrote:

The outer layer of the Magic: the Gathering box, the carton, or crust, is fairly thin and light, and contains largely aluminosilcates.

Within that lies the middle layer, consisting of the familiar booster pack. Although solid, the booster packs' high temperatures allow them to acutally move around within the booster box. This flow, sometimes called convection, is cited by frustrated box mappers as one of WOTC's most genious uses of thermodynamics since the Ravnica block.

No one knows what lies at the core of the booster box, but scientists theorize that it must be especially dense in order to make up for the large amount of fluff distributed amongst the booster packs.

Jun 15, 2012 -- 9:39AM, Burning_Forest wrote:

Jun 15, 2012 -- 9:31AM, chinkeeyong wrote:

Torpor Orb is absolutely godawful against Vexing Devil .

whoever is playing vexing devil is probably losing anyways

Jun 15, 2012 -- 4:36PM, RPJesus wrote:

I imagine [Ajani 3's] second ability involves him hurling the creature at your opponent Brion Stoutarm style, then the guy is just like "Okay, that may have worked, but don't- GOD DAMN IT!" as he does it again because cats don't give a **** :33.

Jul 6, 2012 -- 5:47PM, RPJesus wrote:

"Do or do not, there is no try." - Albus Dumbledore, The Lord of the Rings.

Jul 16, 2012 -- 3:14PM, catowner wrote:

Jul 16, 2012 -- 1:57PM, zpikduM wrote:

Its like that one time Elves broke out in a field of Jund. Elves became a resurgent hit, then died off again once Jund adapted to the rest of the field of G/W that it required mass removal that inherently pooped on Elves too.

Submit to the menace. Delver can, and will blot out the sun.

Then we shall play in the shade.

Jul 20, 2012 -- 6:02PM, catowner wrote:

I'm sorry, this forum isn't for getting bad advice on mediocre decks, that's standard deck help.  This forum is for starting ****storms.

Aug 13, 2012 -- 7:17AM, bay_falconer wrote:

Aug 12, 2012 -- 5:26PM, GM_Champion wrote:

Your advice would only lead me to make generic, boring, and unworthy content. It's of no use to me.

I just got this image of you as an architect, having finished a building suspended by only a small pole in its southwest corner, saying it's original.

Then the building collapses.

Aug 22, 2012 -- 7:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

I for one love the flavor of legendary lands.

"I remember my days as a youth at Tolarian Academy ."
"Wow, small multiverse, I actually went there too."
"WAIT, DON'T- Well ****, there's $200,000 in student loans well spent."

Aug 26, 2012 -- 11:18AM, RPJesus wrote:

And flavor goes out the window when you cast a second copy of a planeswalker right after the first one dies, so...

"Hey Nissa, I need a favor."
"You just asked me for a 'favor' like thirty seconds ago, and it turned out to be having Sarkhan Transmogrify my only follower into a dragon like 5 times -which dickery aside also violates some laws of causality - and then you let me get beaten over the head by that hedron crab."
"...I'll give you "
"...Well all right then."

Sep 6, 2012 -- 7:35PM, Jessica_Morgan wrote:

GM, I don't think Dill is better than you. I KNOW it. Even if he wakes up every morning, clubs a baby seal, steals all the TV remotes from within a block's radius of his house and then robs hungry orphans of their food he'd be better than you, for the simple reason that he learns from his mistakes.

Oct 8, 2012 -- 9:15AM, AzureShade wrote:

Oct 8, 2012 -- 9:10AM, EyeHunter wrote:

Tamiyo vs. Gideon

What would they have to fight about?  Like, all I can think of now is Gideon going "Hey, long-ears!  I'm gathering a group of 'Walkers together to fight some tentacle monsters.....you want in?"  and Tamiyo going "Ew!  Hentai no bakka Gideon-desu desu!" and flying away.

Oct 13, 2012 -- 12:42AM, Uhhsam wrote:

I open 4 packs just to be on the safe side.  Not only do I get more cards than everyone else, but I also get to spend the rest of the night off.  Win Win.

Nov 5, 2012 -- 10:48AM, Renasce wrote:

MaRo has a thing for people opening boosters with bad cards. But since he can only get so many bad cards printed in each set, he has found a devious way of getting more bad cards into circulation: He makes entire print sheets with just bad rares, then puts them onto the assembly line. He proceeds to wring his hands and twirl his evil mustache that he grew for twirling purposes as a lightning bolt strikes in the background. Afterwards, he goes to make sure that the good cards are only opened by everyone's friends, and that we all only get to open bad cards. He does this by memorising each booster, than switching them around accordingly. Whenever someone complains about a card, he immediately jumps out from behind a chair to yell "WELL, IT'S NOT FOR YOU!" before merging back into the shadows in order to devise new ways in which he can screw over players, then claim that he has valid reasons for doing so.

Nov 29, 2012 -- 9:00AM, bay_falconer wrote:

Nov 29, 2012 -- 8:56AM, GeekyDad wrote:

You open a booster pack, and staring back at you from the rare slot is a Lotleth Troll?

At least I can stick him in my EDH deck and still have four for my standard constructed.

Because lol troll

Dec 20, 2012 -- 9:49AM, Dragon_Nut wrote:

It helped that I more or less skipped most of GM_Champion's longer diatribes. I only have so many brain cells I'm willing to sacrifice each day.

Jan 13, 2013 -- 8:14AM, Catotheyounger wrote:

Mark Rosewater is sitting in a seemingly innocuous cable TV van, outside of Bankaimastery's house.  Sitting nearby are two hardened criminal hackers, fresh out of prison, and filled with resentment at their lack of physical fitness.  "Have you managed to hack his brainwaves yet?  The set deadline's coming up fast."  "We're almost through.  It should be coming up on the screen any second."  The hacker presses a button, and Kevin's thoughts flash onto the screen.  Mark and the hackers stare in amazement at the sheer beauty, the elegance, and the raw truth of what they see.  It's like the ending to 2001:  A Space Odyssey.  Brilliant light shines across the screen, the truth of existence is made clear to them, and they despair at their own foolishness, their own ignorance, their own inadequacy.  And then they steal his ideas.  As they return back to R&D, Mark sneers at a haggard old man chained to a cast-iron sphere.  The man looks up from his laborious task of breaking rocks in the dungeon of Wizards of the Coast headquarters, and asks a question:  "Kevin, my greatest student.  He - he's all right, isn't he?  You didn't hurt him?"  Mark deals him a weighty blow with his boot.  "Know your place, Richard.  Get back to work."

Feb 5, 2013 -- 9:30AM, Jman22 wrote:

Now show me on the Garruk doll where Zac Hill ruined your enjoyment of Magic...

Mar 5, 2013 -- 9:36AM, Astarael7 wrote:

I'm only opposed to it because it bears so little relation to how people actually play the game. The example of Miracles is actually a much better one then the Clone example I was trying to use.

From the game's perspective, the card can move instantly from face down in the library to revealed in the hand and that's fine for the rules. But in real life, we can't actually do that, so the card spends a good bit of time in locations that are neither where that player's library is nor where that player's hand is. And that's fine for real life. What I don't want is the disconnect to be explicitly codified. Along the lines of

183664.697 A game of Magic as laid out by these rules exists only as a pure Platonic ideal, utterly unrealizable by fallible mortals limited by the confines of physicality and the ravages of evil and sin.

183664.698 The cake is a lie, too.

I know it's true, but I don't want the rules to actually straight-up tell me that.

Apr 26, 2013 -- 7:53PM, Decktesting54 wrote:

Apr 26, 2013 -- 3:50PM, Ebontail wrote:

Pfft this cant be serious can it? If it is please delete your account OP. Its not even close to ban worthy, considering what JTMS and stoneforge had to accomplish to get banned i see the WotC selling magic to aquire Pokemon before that ever happens.

I'm trying to imagine sorin markov as a gym leader in one of those pokemon games which you have to beat him to get his badge... somehow I imagine that he would stab you in the chest with his sword before giving you the badge, even if you beat his pokemon....

May 9, 2013 -- 1:23PM, Smoke_Stack wrote:

Personally, I'd be fine with tea time but then I'm not gonna waste the mana summoning Emrakul, the Aeons Torn . He always takes all the sugar, drinks the whole pot of Earl Grey and doesn't even say thank you. SO. RUDE.

Each of its nine tails is imbued with supernatural power, and it can live for a thousand years.







My Standard deck: Setting Sun

Apr 19, 2012 -- 5:36AM, prospector wrote:

Think of how Neo couldn't beat the robots, but they kept him around anyways to defeat Agent Smith. Sure, the robots might not like having a Neo running rampant because instead of playing their favorite 4 drop fatty robot, they have to play a bunch of one mana Matrixs to contain him, but at least Neo keeps Agent Smith from reanimating an Iona on turn two.

Jun 26, 2012 -- 3:07PM, GM_Champion wrote:

Are you saying I'm trying to blame my loss on something? I don't care that I lost, I care that he's a sore loser, and a cheater, and a liar.

Oct 5, 2012 -- 1:36PM, magicpablo666 wrote:

CKY, are you bad at anything?

Oct 25, 2012 -- 9:53PM, magicpablo666 wrote:

I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.

I mean, In KevinWorld, Mark is reading the very words I'm typing as well. Heck, in KevinWorld maybe I am Mark.

Nov 9, 2012 -- 2:27PM, Exxile72 wrote:

I'm beginning to think CKY may be anime in real life...

Feb 11, 2013 -- 7:38AM, Jessica_Morgan wrote:

Don't go anywhere CKY, I need to crash dramatically through your window and propose marriage and I don't want you throwing off my paradrop.

Mar 15, 2013 -- 7:56AM, Knifethrower wrote:

[In response to a thread about how hard grading is]

Upon reading this, I've found myself completely unable to operate in the world.  I tried to decide what to eat for breakfast, and pondered the vast consequences of my choice.  How do I balance my dietary needs against my desire to eat good-tasting food? Should I factor in how long it takes to prepare?  Cereal is ready in moments, but bacon takes longer to cook.

Then there is the impact on other industries.  Do people in the cereal industry deserve to be employed more than people in the bacon industry?  Which industry should I support? I don't even have the data regarding HOW MUCH the cereal industry benefits from me eating a bowl of cereal, or how much the bacon industry benefits from me eating a side of bacon.  How can I compare two qualities I can't even quantify?

And let's not forget the milk on the cereal.  In addition to determining whether or not milk is healthy for me, how much that benefits the milk industry, and how much the people in the milk industry deserve my support, we have to factor in the fact that cows are put under brutal conditions in order to collect thier milk.  Of course, the same goes for the pigs, and then they get killed.  Of course, I really like bacon.  So I need to come up with a scale that compares the value of cow happiness to pig happiness to my happiness.  What trade-offs am I willing to make here?  Does the fact that the pig gets put out of its misery count as a plus or a minus?  Isn't bacon bad for me anyway?

Deciding what to eat for breakfast (or any meal) is impossible.  Help me!

Apr 11, 2013 -- 6:15AM, altimis wrote:

I must admit chinkeeyong, you have the most interesting character ideas; and you play them well.

Apr 12, 2013 -- 7:13PM, magicpablo666 wrote:

Anyway, you'd be surprised about Time Stop. When I first saw that card as a relatively new player I didn't see its full potential until I read the reminder text. Is it that unintuitive, though? Mine I mean. What is possibility? Is it possible for me to type these words with my tusks? No, because I don't have tusks. Although I am now tempted to go buy some - obviously not from poachers or whatever - and use them as typing apparatus. I could be the best secretary ever. "What's your words per minute sir?" "Well, only six, but I use these tusks to type them." "You're hired!" That was the interview. And is anyone else disappointed that "apparati" is not the plural form of apparatus? I just could strangle a dictionary, because "apparatuses" is a real word. I guess it sounds pretty cool. I'll call them my Apparatusks.