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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 4:52PM
#1
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Date Joined:
Jun 24, 2008
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This thread is for discussion of this week's Uncharted Realms, which goes live Wednesday morning on magicthegathering.com.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 9:15PM
#2
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Date Joined:
Dec 27, 2009
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Well, I shant look at a chronomaton  the same way again.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 9:33PM
#3
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So... his own body was the creation? I'm confused. If that's the case, how did it manage to go out at night?
This was just... weird.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 9:40PM
#4
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Date Joined:
Aug 25, 2006
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I should start off saying that I really liked this story, and this is quickly turning into one of my favorite columns.
That said, did anyone else wish it had been made more clear that Bazzle had given himself robotic body parts and not created a whole robot like the one depicted on the card? I literally didn't figure that out until this sentence: "It had merely decided it would no longer share a body with a rotting old clockmaker." And by that point, the story was almost over. I've reread the story, and I don't think I really missed anything. I think the combination of the vagueness about the "creation" and the misleading picture at the beginning made this story unfortunately a bit confusing on first read.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 10:05PM
#5
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I should start off saying that I really liked this story, and this is quickly turning into one of my favorite columns.
That said, did anyone else wish it had been made more clear that Bazzle had given himself robotic body parts and not created a whole robot like the one depicted on the card? I literally didn't figure that out until this sentence: "It had merely decided it would no longer share a body with a rotting old clockmaker." And by that point, the story was almost over. I've reread the story, and I don't think I really missed anything. I think the combination of the vagueness about the "creation" and the misleading picture at the beginning made this story unfortunately a bit confusing on first read.
Between the card art, and the fact that he mentions his creation going out at night when he's sleeping... also the fact that the mob apparently isn't searching his house for the creation, despite the fact that it would have had to have been him doing it... Yeah, the twist really doesn't make sense at all. I didn't get it until the mention of his "good arm" having been replaced, and even after going back and re-reading the whole thing, I still don't see that twist as having been compatible with the rest of the story.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 10:09PM
#6
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Date Joined:
Aug 25, 2006
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I should start off saying that I really liked this story, and this is quickly turning into one of my favorite columns.
That said, did anyone else wish it had been made more clear that Bazzle had given himself robotic body parts and not created a whole robot like the one depicted on the card? I literally didn't figure that out until this sentence: "It had merely decided it would no longer share a body with a rotting old clockmaker." And by that point, the story was almost over. I've reread the story, and I don't think I really missed anything. I think the combination of the vagueness about the "creation" and the misleading picture at the beginning made this story unfortunately a bit confusing on first read.
Between the card art, and the fact that he mentions his creation going out at night when he's sleeping... also the fact that the mob apparently isn't searching his house for the creation, despite the fact that it would have had to have been him doing it... Yeah, the twist really doesn't make sense at all. I didn't get it until the mention of his "good arm" having been replaced, and even after going back and re-reading the whole thing, I still don't see that twist as having been compatible with the rest of the story.
Well the story does explain why no one enters his home. It's because he has the plague, and that fact is clearly marked on his door for everyone to see. But yeah, I agree that the parts about the creation leaving the house gave a much different image than that of Bazzle's robot body parts walking him around while he's asleep.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 10:14PM
#7
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Well the story does explain why no one enters his home. It's because he has the plague, and that fact is clearly marked on his door for everyone to see.
I'd buy that, except for the slight problem that they were specifically looking for him. If the "his creation" that was wandering around town stealing stuff is really part of his own body, that means he was walking around town. Even if nobody actually recognized him... there's still the problem that, hey look, a clockwork thingy running around. And we have an outcast clockmaker. I wonder if they're possibly connected...
Heck, nobody used his services anymore or anything. Even the faintest hint of suspicion that he was involved should have caused them to come storming around his house, burning it down or something. They're an angry mob.
There's just so much wrong with the story...
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 10:18PM
#8
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Date Joined:
Apr 12, 2008
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Yeah, I don't get it either. There's a whole list of stuff that doesn't make sense.
None of the villagers understood why everyone else touched by the creeping plague had died, while this strange tinkerer lived on.
If he's largely made of clockwork, how could this be true?
his greatest creation. One that would be his lasting legacy to a world that had shunned him.
The above makes no sense with any of the rest of the story, and increasingly so as it progresses.
But now it seemed that even it preferred the company of others and went out on its own at night to terrify the villagers down the lane.
Again, this sentence makes no sense, and straight up contradictory - how could the villagers not understand what's going on, and furthermore, it clearly isn't actually going out on it's own.
Working with only one arm, he had come up with a way to turn the keys simultaneously: twist the front one enough and the clockwork arm sprung to life and turned the one in the back. It had taken him a year to figure that out, and another year to get the movements to align precisely.
The clear implication here is that the device is purely clockwork and not magical at all, otherwise getting the "movements to align precisely" would just be a matter of getting it to understand what to do. Every other indication is that the device is in fact magical, and could easily be made of wood for all the difference the clockwork makes. At least some expicit attempt to clarify what is intended here would be nice.
There were lines on the arm after all, but they seemed to make a haphazard kind of sense; clearly intentional but lacking any artistic logic. That's when he saw the angular teeth and the looped handles.
Cmon, really? Any editor should be able to tell you this is bad writing. Take vague and incomprehensible imagery, and then say "that's when he saw teeth and handles" and knew it was made of keys. Why didn't he see teeth or handles before? Why are there teeth or handles on melted keys, anyway? How could you have anything approaching precise clockwork with material that retains characteristics of being keys? This line makes no sense on any level.
the key. With it, he might regain control of his creation and dismantle it,
This defies logic, if the device is attached to him and can knock him out at will. The key serves no purpose but to activate it, and he should have stayed as far from it as he could. This is needless misdirection, and is basically the author making the character act like a fool for no reason other than to railroad the story into the direction the author wants it to go.
This is all on top of things in the story that don't belong there, like the creation going out and stealing brass keys, specifically. No iron keys? No brass doorknobs? What's so special about brass keys? The thing is literally surrounded by well-made gears and quality materials, so why is it going out foraging for substandard parts?
Overall, pretty disappointing. Not enough thought went into this one, by a long shot.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 10:21PM
#9
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Date Joined:
Feb 27, 2012
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Personally, its the, "It didn't want to share a body" line that needed to be edited it out. The entire thing makes much more sense if the automaton is a different creature that is trying to "fix" its dying creator by replacing his rotting, plague ridden body parts with artificial ones that it built.
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12 months ago ::
Jul 10, 2012 - 10:22PM
#10
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Date Joined:
Jan 13, 2012
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I really liked the tone of this story, and the writing. Giving cards like Chronomaton such a strong identity is amazing.
But I have to agree with chronego and CommanderJim about the ambiguity of the twist. Since the beginning I felt something was kind of off, as if I skipped a paragraph or missed something important. It sounds like the writer wrote this while expecting readers to pick up too many things by themselves, but he didnt provide enough hints. Being the only survivor of the plague is something, but not enough.
The ending is really strong and visceral, but the confusion that leads into it kind of dampens its effect.
Quotes
Show
Okay, here is the clincher. I've been waiting to say this.
The "cam girl" this was inspired by was just a girl from a social networking website, Stickam. Her name was TinyTerror and she was just a regular girl who was on her webcam, totally unrelated to any type of adult content.
I hope you all feel really smart now. 
This is like someone coming into class with a bloody nose and everyone's like "Jeez what happened to you" and they're like "I ran into a wall" and everyone laughs at them for being an idiot but then at the end of the class they say "HAHA JUST KIDDING I PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!! TALK ABOUT OWNED HAHAHAHAHA"
I really enjoy imagining this from Kevin's perspective. Because in Kevin's world, Rosewater actually reads everything he types. Mark is sitting there right now, reading this, and thinking "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled. . ." Or some such. He chuckles low, then clicks on "The Best Of KEVINSET" and says "Yes, this'll do just fine. A busty lady with banding who deals direct damage to Zones!? Why this will be the star of my next set, and no one will ever believe you Kevin." Then he closes his Macbook, so his servant may move it out of the way, while another servant puts a Fetal Richard Garfield Clone lathered in Steak Sauce in front of him. Then Mark Feasts.
Sorin walked into the chamber where his newly wed bride, Vampy, awaited. A beam of moonlight illuminated his brilliant silver hair as he strode with confidence towards the bed. His shirtless body showcased his powerful abdominal muscles and he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees.
I wish more girls play magic cards...
Have you considered assassinating Kevin?
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