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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 10:00AM
#1
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Years ago, some time during Time Spiral block, I started one of these threads and it went on for a good long while. So let's have another go! The gist: take cards and errata them to reflect what they often do in practice. Make new keywords! Mess around with the flavor text! Vent! It's all good. Here's what I'm talking about: Squadron Hawk    Flying, protection from black, protection from green Whenever Squadron Hawk deals combat damage to a player, that player discards a card and you untap all lands you control. 3/3 Insurrection    Untap all creatures and gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste until end of turn. For the rest of the game, each opponent must attack you each turn if able. "It was totally worth it!" --Matoc, lavamancer Sharuum the Hegemon     Flying When Sharuum the Hegemon enters the battlefield, return target Sculpting Steel  from your graveyard to the battlefield. To gain audience with the hegemon, one must bring a Disciple of the Vault  . 5/5 Mana Leak  Counter target spell unless something totally ridiculous happens. Tezzeret's Gambit  As an additional cost to play Tezzeret's Gambit, pay 2 life. Draw two cards, then put a loyalty counter on each planeswalker you control. Surgical Extraction   Target opponent gets an emblem with "You can't play Vengevine  ." Serra Angel  Flying, vigilance, obsolescence 4/4
Obligatory Dragon (M) Creature - Dragon Flying Tokenism (This card exists to fulfill a quota.) Whenever Obligatory Dragon attacks, I dunno, maybe it deals damage to something or other. The automated Dragon Dispenser broke down and no one here knows how to design a Dragon card while sober. Hey, tell you what, try attacking with this thing and then shoot us an email to tell us what happens. We'll probably print it in a Core Set. 5/5
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 10:11AM
#2
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Date Joined:
Apr 21, 2010
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You forgot "Draw 3 cards" on the Squadron Hawk, and Gambit proliferates a lot more than PWs in Standard right now. Magnets, Shrines, Chalices, etc. Here's an update of a very, very awesome old card: Contract from Below  Sorcery Discard your hand, exile the top card of your library, then just go ahead and win the game.
Etiamnunc sto, etiamsi caelum ruat.
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 11:19AM
#3
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Shrine of Burning Rage  Suspend 6 -  Win the game
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 11:36AM
#4
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- Under your GLEEMAX!GLEEMAX!GLEEMAX!GLEEMAX!
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Time Stop  Choose one - counter target spell and exile it instead of putting it into the graveyard, or skip target opponent's turn, or end target counter war. Serra Ascendant  Lifelink, flying If you are playing this card in the commander format, each player attacks you if able. 6/6 Felidar Sovereign  Vigilance, lifelink If you are playing this card in the commander format, each player attacks you if able. 4/6 Luminarch Ascension  If you cast this spell on your second turn in the commander format, each player attacks you if able and uses removal spells on you or your cards whenever able until you die first. Vow of Wildness  Enchanted creature gets +3/+3, has trample, can't attack you or a planeswalker you control, and will die from removal in about 2 turns.
You'll forget you ever read this the minute you look away. Veslfen's House of Bone-Dry Sarcasm
Show
there is nothing "epic" about a turn one victory. ever.
or really any magic game, for that matter.
So this one time, I wanted to play a game of Magic with my friend, but he was in another country and neither of us had Magic Online. I hitchhiked my way to the coast, barely fending off hungry wildlife when I couldn't get a ride, nearly dying of thirst crossing deserts, and posoning myself half to death foraging for food. At one point, I was taken hostage by a group of kidnappers, only managing to escape after a week of careful planning thanks to careful application of a rusty spoon.
Once I reached the coast, I had no money to buy a ticket across the ocean, so I built a boat using my own two hands, and spent months sailing across the waves, nearly losing my deck as I swam to the shore of a desert island in a storm after being capsized by an enormous wave. Nearly delusional after so long with no human contact (the notches I cut in the single tree to tell time had long since felled the thing) I was eventually rescued by a passing ship, where I was taken aboard as a crew member.
We sailed around the world, seeing many exotic places and having great adventures, before we finally arrived at my friend's country. Once more I stumbled across a desolate landscape, riding on train or car when I could, and going on foot when I could not. Eventually, weary to the bone, seven years after I started my journey, I arrived at my friend's house, clutching my well-worn and weathered deck to my chest. We shuffled up our decks, I won the roll. Gleefully, I laid down my cards.
Black Lotus  . My friend looked quizzically at me, wondering what I was about to do. After so long, he no longer knew what deck I had brought with me to this game.
Flash  . A knowing smile appears on my friend's face as the knowledge slowly returns to him.
Protean Hulk  .
My friend extends his hand, knowing the game is over before it even started. And finally, after so many trials, the sweet taste of victory is mine.
So no one else is upset with the stunt Wizards just pulled to drive sales?
Drive sales of what? Non-Jace, non-Mystic cards? I'm pretty sure people already own more than eight Magic cards. If you don't, I feel for you. Maybe you can trade those Stoneforge Mystics, which are still quite valuable, for some.
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 11:39AM
#5
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Date Joined:
Feb 18, 2010
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Baneslayer Angel  Flying, first strike, lifelink 5/5
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 11:57AM
#6
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- Under your GLEEMAX!GLEEMAX!GLEEMAX!GLEEMAX!
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Dismember Instant You lose 4 life. Target creature gets -5/-5 until end of turn. Mental Misstep  You lose 2 life. Counter target spell with converted mana cost 1.
You'll forget you ever read this the minute you look away. Veslfen's House of Bone-Dry Sarcasm
Show
there is nothing "epic" about a turn one victory. ever.
or really any magic game, for that matter.
So this one time, I wanted to play a game of Magic with my friend, but he was in another country and neither of us had Magic Online. I hitchhiked my way to the coast, barely fending off hungry wildlife when I couldn't get a ride, nearly dying of thirst crossing deserts, and posoning myself half to death foraging for food. At one point, I was taken hostage by a group of kidnappers, only managing to escape after a week of careful planning thanks to careful application of a rusty spoon.
Once I reached the coast, I had no money to buy a ticket across the ocean, so I built a boat using my own two hands, and spent months sailing across the waves, nearly losing my deck as I swam to the shore of a desert island in a storm after being capsized by an enormous wave. Nearly delusional after so long with no human contact (the notches I cut in the single tree to tell time had long since felled the thing) I was eventually rescued by a passing ship, where I was taken aboard as a crew member.
We sailed around the world, seeing many exotic places and having great adventures, before we finally arrived at my friend's country. Once more I stumbled across a desolate landscape, riding on train or car when I could, and going on foot when I could not. Eventually, weary to the bone, seven years after I started my journey, I arrived at my friend's house, clutching my well-worn and weathered deck to my chest. We shuffled up our decks, I won the roll. Gleefully, I laid down my cards.
Black Lotus . My friend looked quizzically at me, wondering what I was about to do. After so long, he no longer knew what deck I had brought with me to this game.
Flash . A knowing smile appears on my friend's face as the knowledge slowly returns to him.
Protean Hulk .
My friend extends his hand, knowing the game is over before it even started. And finally, after so many trials, the sweet taste of victory is mine.
So no one else is upset with the stunt Wizards just pulled to drive sales?
Drive sales of what? Non-Jace, non-Mystic cards? I'm pretty sure people already own more than eight Magic cards. If you don't, I feel for you. Maybe you can trade those Stoneforge Mystics, which are still quite valuable, for some.
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 12:34PM
#7
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Date Joined:
Oct 12, 2010
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Shock  [r] Instant Shock does two damage to target creature or player. Do not draw a card, now or at the beginning of your next upkeep. (This card does not have split second, cascade, buyback, clash, metalcraft, or anything else.)
Commander's Tower  Land  : Add a mana of any color to your mana pool, but only if you're in the Commander format and your commander isn't colorless. Emrakul, the Aeons Torn  Creature - Eldrazi When Emrakul, the Aeons Torn enters the battlefield, you win the game. But good luck doing that. Seriously. 15 mana? You could've beaten your opponent five times over by now. 15/15 Opalescence  Enchantment When Opalescence comes into play, if another card named Opalescence or a card named Humility  is already in play, all players reserve the right to beat you over the head with the nearest blunt object repeatedly. If Parallax Wave  is in play, put a +∞/+∞ counter on all Allies you control. Darksteel Relic  Artifact Do nothing. A relic of Mirrodin, it was once darksteel goggles.
Yawgmoth's Bargain   Enchantment Pay 1 life: Draw a card. Any time you would gain life, draw a card instead.
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
----
Autocard is your friend.
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] = Lightning Bolt 
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 12:37PM
#8
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Date Joined:
Jul 20, 2006
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Flame Javelin  Instant Flame Javelin deals 4 damage to target creature or player. Bloodbraid Elf   Creature -- Elf Berserker Haste When Bloodbraid Elf enters the battlefield, it deals 3 damage to target player. That player discards two cards. 3/2 Polymorph  Sorcery Sacrifice a token creature. If you do, search your library for a creature card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 12:57PM
#9
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Date Joined:
Oct 12, 2010
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Koth of the Hammer  +1 Add to your mana pool, or opponent sacrifices a creature with infect. -2 Add to your mana pool for each mountain you control. -5 If your hand is empty, destroy all creatures your opponents control. Koth of the Hammer does colorless damage equal to the number of mountains you control minus the total toughness of all creatures destroyed this way, divided any way you choose among any number of opponents.
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
----
Autocard is your friend.
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] = Lightning Bolt
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2 years ago ::
Jul 02, 2011 - 3:44PM
#10
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Date Joined:
Jan 10, 2006
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Trinket Mage  - Creature When Trinket Mage comes into play, search your library for Sensei's Diving Top and put it into play. 2/2
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