Jonathon Loucks

Penumbria
(My new world name.)

In an underground world, will you help spread the light, or embrace total darkness?

CR01 – Refracted Runner (common)
[Bolt Elemental -
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
R
Creature – Dwarf Berserker
2/1
Trample, haste
Living Reflection (When Refracted Runner enters the battlefield, put a  token that's a copy of it onto the battlefield except without its Living  Reflection ability.) At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice  Refracted Runner.

A very interesting mechanical idea. I had to read it a few times to get my head around it. I think saying "without this ability" would be much easier and clearer. Also, I think I'd show a card using a fairly normal version of this mechanic first.

This mechanic's name is also unnecessarily long.

CR02 – Sharpchucker (common)
1R
Creature – Orc Rogue
2/1
Morph 1R (You may cast this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it  face up any time for its morph cost.) When Sharpchucker is turned face  up, target creature gains first strike until end of turn.

I know a real set has to have simple commons, but I think you've missed  an opportunity here, by not coming up with a novel simple common here.

CR03 – Eager Cleaver (common)
[Orc Warmonger –
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1R
Creature-Dwarf Soldier
1/2
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, Eager Cleaver gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

CR04 – Orc Tunneler (common)
[Goblin Tunneler – Magic 2011]
1R
Creature – Orc Miner
1/1
T: Target creature with power 2 or less is unblockable this turn.

CR05 – Stout Guard
2R
Creature - Dwarf Soldier
2/3

A good developer puts cards like these in. But I'm not sure you get any design points for it.

CR06 – Trail Blazer (common)
2R
Creature – Dwarf Scout
2/2
When Trail Blazer enters the battlefield, illuminate the top card of  your library. If you own an illuminated land card, add RRR to your mana  pool. (To illuminate a card, exile it with a light counter on it.
For as long as it has a light counter, it has "If you would draw a card, you may instead put this card into your hand.")

Very linear, but that's already been said. Also, this ability seems like it could've been whittled down a lot. This definitely doesn't qualify as a common.

CR07 – Orc Bully (common)
[Orcish Bully -
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2R
Creature - Orc Warrior
3/3
If Orc Bully is blocked by more than one creature, prevent all combat damage it would deal.
Orc Bully can't block if more than one creature is attacking.

This card is great. However, you should've left the second line off. You have a novel and flavourful idea. Don't add extra sauce. As well as dragging down a great card, it probably makes your card an uncommon.

CR08 – Flashbomber (common)
2R
Creature – Dwarf Wizard
1/1
Living Reflection (When Flashbomber enters the battlefield, put a token  that's a copy of it onto the battlefield except without its Living  Reflection ability.) When Flashbomber enters the battlefield, target  creature can't block this turn.

CR09 – Bloodthirsty Orc (common)
[Orcish Torchbearer –
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3R
Creature – Orc Warrior
3/3
Morph 4R (You may cast this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it  face up any time for its morph cost.) Bloodthirsty Orc's morph cost is  1R while blocked.

Great twist on Morph. This kind of card is essential if you're going to reuse and old mechanic.

CR10 – Lavaskin Thragg (common)
[Mirror Thragg–
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3RR
Creature - Beast
4/1
Living Reflection (When Lavaskin Thragg enters the battlefield, put a  token that's a copy of it onto the battlefield except without its Living  Reflection ability.)

Maybe this one should be at the top. I think I would've premiered this mechanic at the top of the page, on a french vanilla creature. First strike would add a nice synergy, but not distract from the shiny new mechanic.

CR11 – Cloaked Predator (common)
4R
Creature – Beast
5/1
Morph 3RR (You may cast this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it  face up any time for its morph cost.) Cloaked Predator's morph cost is  1R while it is an unblocked attacker.

Good. Not sure it's worth using a card slot to show the reverse of a previous card though.

CR12 – Steamdriller (common)
[Goblin Rappeller –
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
4RR
Creature – Dwarf Miner
4/4
Mountainwalk
Dig 2 (Discard this card. Reveal cards from the top of your library  until you reveal a land card. Put that card into your hand and the rest  on the bottom of your library in a random order.)

CR13 – Aggressive Tactics (common)
R
Instant
Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

CR14 – Piercing Beam 1R (common)
Instant
Illuminate the top  card of your library. (To illuminate a card, exile it with a light  counter on it. For as long as it has a light counter, it has "If you  would draw a card, you may instead put this card into your hand.")  Piercing Beam deals 2 damage to target creature or player. If you own an  illuminated red card, Piercing Beam deals 4 damage to that creature or  player instead.

It's very easy to make some new linear thing, and then connect every simple mechanic to it. If you want to go linear, you need to do better than this.

CR15 – Enkindle (common)
[Engulfing Flames –
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2R
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/-2 and has first strike.

Good filler. Could you have come up with a more resonant flavour?

[Stir the Earth –
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1RR
Sorcery
Turn target land face down. (It is a 2/2 creature.)

CR17 – Scattered Inquiry (common)
[Luminous Inspiration –
community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3R
Sorcery
Draw three cards, then illuminate three cards at random from your hand.  (To illuminate a card, exile it with a light counter on it. For as long  as it has a light counter, it has "If you would draw a card, you may  instead put this card into your hand.")

This just isn't exciting enough for its complexity. Drawing one of my discards, later on, isn't very compelling. I'm also not sure why this card is red.

Illuminated cards sit around all game, adding complexity, without really adding much gameplay.

CR18 – Blast Mining (common)
5R
Sorcery
Destroy target land. Blast Mining deals 5 damage to that land's controller.
Dig 2 (Discard this card. Reveal cards from the top of your library  until you reveal a land card. Put that card into your hand and the rest  on the bottom of your library in a random order.)

Comments
I chose red because it's a color that's both light and  dark. While red may look slightly mechanic-heavy, the mechanic as-fan is  in balance – white and green don't get morphs or face-down cards and  black doesn't get illuminate or living reflection.

Flavor update! Naturally occurring channels of highly reflective  crystals conduit magic-infused surface light to the underground. The  light-users harness the surface light's inherent magical qualities.

The major challenge with my theme: "Information is not as much fun as  mystery." My answer is to make the light inherently powerful, causing  creature's reflections on shiny cave walls to come to life. While Living  Reflection does give the set many unique tokens, it's an extremely  grokkable ability. Remembering the size and attributes of a token is  very easy when a real copy is close by. Still, it's no accident that my  common Living Reflection creatures are virtual vanilla.

Living reflection gave my set a direction. Players are going to  control more and smaller creatures than normal, either through Living  Reflection or face down cards (morph or otherwise). Knowing this allowed  me to make simple commons that have meaning in the context of this set.

In order to make illuminate feel relevant, I've tied the card's  effects to what a player has illuminated. To minimize the tension  between wanting to draw a known card and wanting to power up your  illuminate spells, I've made it an effect that's either on or off  instead of scaling based on the number of infused cards.

Shawn Main

Wodotha

On doomed Wodotha, civilization struggles against the relentless Blight that eats away the world.

CB01 – Deathgreeter
[Shards of Alara]
B
Creature – Human Shaman
1/1
Whenever another creature is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may gain 1 life.

CB02 - Craven Imp
1B
Creature - Imp
1/1
Flying
Forsake 2 (2, Sacrifice this: Draw a card.)

CB03 – Gravechatter Rat
[Mindwiper, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1B
Creature - Rat
1/1
When Mindscraper is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, target player discards a card.

This mistake is easy to make. You change the card's name part way, and forget to change it in the card text. :>

2B
Creature - Horror
3/1
When Doom Herald enters the battlefield, blight target creature.  (Destroy each permanent with a blight counter. Then put a blight counter  on the blighted creature.)

Hmmm. Linear, but still more interesting than most linear mechanics.

CB05 - Cowering Zombie
2B
Creature - Zombie
2/2
Forsake 2 (2, Sacrifice this: Draw a card.)

For Forsake to be a keyword, this set had better have a whole lot of forsakable creatures, and a whole lot of stuff that makes sacrifice (or being in the GY) matter.

CB06 – Bone Courier
[Reverse Gravedigger, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2B
Creature - Zombie
2/1
When Bone Courier is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, return  another target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

An interesting idea, but the majority of the time, this guy just finds a pal, and they recur each other. It would've been nice to have this guy do something more interesting. You could do this by exiling him, or by putting a restriction on what he can dig up.

CB07 - Maggotgut Buzzard
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3B
Creature - Zombie Bird
2/2
Flying
When Maggotgut Buzzard is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put two 1/1 black Rat tokens onto the battlefield.

CB08 - Blightbearer
3B
Creature - Horror
1/4
Whenever Blightbearer deals damage to a creature, blight that creature.  (Destroy each permanent with a blight counter. Then put a blight counter  on the blighted creature.)

The idea of blight is very interesting, but I get the feeling players would typically avoid having their creatures blow up. I can't see anyone attacking into this, or blocking it.

Also, if both players are playing cards with blight, blight just becomes a random death-fest. That might be fun. I'm not sure. But it might just be a bit too random and stunted. Like Slivers vs Slivers.

CB09 - Entrail Eater
[Entrails Eater, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2BB
Creature - Zombie
3/3
Sacrifice a creature: Entrail Eater gets intimidate until end of turn.

CB10 – Decaying Horror
[Blighted Horror, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3BB
Creature - Horror
5/3
When Decaying Horror enters the battlefield, blight Decaying Horror.  (Destroy each permanent with a blight counter. Then put a blight counter  on the blighted creature.)

CB11 – Mark of Doom
[Spreading Blight, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
B
Instant
Blight target nonblack creature. (Destroy each permanent with a blight  counter. Then put a blight counter on the blighted creature.)

CB12 - Demon's Bite
B
Instant
Target creature gets +3/+0 until end of turn.
Bloodlust- If a creature was put into a graveyard from the battlefield  this turn, that creature gains lifelink until end of turn.

CB13 – Spoil Soul
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
XB
Instant
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.

CB14 - Diabolic Visage
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1B
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+0 and has intimidate.
Pitch 2 (2, Sacrifice this: Draw a card)

CB15 – Unmourn the Lost
[Graverobbing for Fun and Profit, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1B
Sorcery
Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand. You gain life equal to its toughness.

CB16 – Blighted Expanse
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2B
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant land
When enchanted land becomes tapped, blight it. (Destroy each permanent  with a blight counter. Then put a blight counter on the blighted land.)

CB17 – Gnawing Suspicions
[Thought Plague, community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1BB
Sorcery
Target player discards two cards. For each land card discarded this way, put a 1/1 Black Rat creature token on the battlefield.

CB18 – Demon's Joy
3B
Sorcery
Each opponent loses 2 and you gain that much life.
Bloodlust- If a creature was put into a graveyard from the battlefield  this turn, instead each opponent loses 4 life and you gain that much  life.

Before receiving the judges feedback, I imagined the Blight would  serve only as the inciting incident for the story of Wodotha. Encouraged  by the judges to make the Blight into the centerpiece of the story, I  knew I had to find it a distinct mechanical role. After three days of  false starts, someone suggested the game could accumulate blight  counters as a clock to an event where marked permanents would die. I  liked the flavor, but was wary of the complexity. Playtesting never  clicked until I brought the number of counters needed for destruction  all the way down to one. Suddenly, being blighted was a rush, feeling  like your marked creature could vanish suddenly. The Blight itself had  character in the game.

Making each blight action both destruction and marking makes it so  that, under normal circumstances, there's only one blighted permanent at  a time. Thus it feels like the Blight chases cards across the table.  And, though I only used it once on the final design, it opens  possibilities for self-blighting cards to be used as both an advantage  and a drawback.

Once blight was locked in place, I decided to design for black, since  it had the most space to utilize the mechanic. Because blight was so  linear, I wanted the other set mechanics to be more modular. With a  sadistic demon as the villain and secret initiator of the Blight, I  figured black's flavor could focus on reveling in destruction while the  world falls apart.

Your Forsake engine is just nowhere near interesting enough. You really need to make "dispoable Forsake guys" interesting somehow. Other than this weak theme, I don't realy see any novel cards here.

Devon Rule

Your Name: Devon Rule
Your Set Name: Utopia
Your updated logline: A once-peaceful world adapts itself for war.
Your commons:

CB01 – Industrial Spy
B
Creature - Goblin Mercenary
1/1
Intimidate

CB02 – Accountant
1B
Creature - Human Advisor
1/1
B, T: Gain a gold counter. (Gold counters can be spent as colorless mana or life payments.)

Interesting. Gold is a bit similar to the Spawn from ROE. Gold would probably be used as such, as well. People would use it for ramping, not for some innocent and entertaining purpose. If this were my mechanic, I'd take off the "life" bit, allow the gold to pay any colour mana, and probably limit the gold payment to one gold per cost paid.

(Each time you pay a mana cost, one gold counter can be spent as a mana of any color.)

CB03 – Tavern Sellsword
[Simple Mercenary by Guy Srinivasan - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
1B
Creature - Human Mercenary
2/1

CB04 – Rental Imp
1B
Flying
Pay 1 life, T: Search your library for a  Mercenary permanent card with converted mana cost 1 or less and put it  onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
1/1

CB05 – Smuggler
2B
Creature - Human Rogue Mercenary
1/3
When Smuggler deals combat damage to a player, gain 2 gold counters. (Gold counters can be spent as colorless mana or life payments.)

Good use of gold here. Gold needs this kind of variable and interactive use, to be interesting.

CB06 – Ghoul Messengers
Creature - Zombie Mercenary
2/2
Swampwalk
Pay 2 life,  T: Search your library for a Mercenary permanent card with converted  mana cost 2 or less and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your  library.

CB07 - Giant Cockroach
3B
Creature - Insect
4/2

CB08 – Elite Houseguard
[Big Mercenary by by Guy Srinivasan - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
4B
Creature - Vampire Mercenary
4/3

CB09 – Vault Shade
[Yet Another Greedy Shade by Daniel - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
3BB
Creature - Shade
2/2
2: Vault Shade gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
Pay 2 life: Vault Shade gains flying until end of turn.

CB10 – Extortion
B
[Twisted Vision by Havelock Vetinari - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/Holes]
Sorcery
Choose a card type other than land. Target opponent reveals their hand.  You choose a card of the chosen type from it. That player discards that  card.

CB11 – Graverobbing
1B
Sorcery
Return target creature card from your  graveyard to your hand. You may pay 3 life. If you do, return another  target creature from your graveyard to your hand.

CB12 – Scary Reputation
[by Kallisti - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
1B
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gains intimidate
Sacrifice Scary Reputation: Enchanted creature gets +3/+0 until end of turn.

CB13 – Business Venture
1B
Sorcery
Draw a card. If you have any gold counters, draw another card.

CB14 – Snuff Out
[Reprint]
3B
Instant
If you control a Swamp, you may pay 4 life rather than pay Snuff Out's mana cost.
Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.

CB15 – Plagiarize
[Brain Drain by Havelock Vetinari - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
2BB
Sorcery
Target player discards two cards. They lose two life and you gain two life.

CB16 – Reckless Looting
[Ransack by Shdwcat, Dig for Gold by Demons, altered at suggestion of Braman - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
3BB
Sorcery
Destroy target creature or land. Gain 2 gold counters. (Gold counters can be spent as colorless mana or life payments.)

CB17 – Energy Drain
[I Can't Believe They Haven't Printed This by Havelock Vetinari - Labs:Gds/gds2/Utopia/CommonGround/Submissions]
XB
Instant
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.

CB18 – Hoard
XB
Sorcery
Gain X gold counters. (Gold counters can be spent as colorless mana or life payments.)

Comments:
I was very happy with how clear the feedback was on my previous  submission, including an explicit assignment for this week. If I had  wanted to submit the best selection of Utopian commons I could, I would  have gone with red. However, I needed to show that I could innovate and  hit more than one note of my theme. I chose to focus tightly on a  "commerce" theme for black, using mercenaries, gold, and payments to  bring this across mechanically.
Unlike their Rebel counterparts,  Mercenaries were not very popular, so nostalgia was not a large factor  in my decision to use them. Rather, I felt that the concept of "hiring  for money" was resonant enough to stand on its own. Life payments are  usually less popular with new players, but I felt that factor added to  the appeal of gold counters by letting players "cheat" their way out of  losing life. While I wanted to focus on the life payment side of Gold  counters, I also made sure that there were several useful places to  spend piles of colorless mana at common.
Utopia was intended to be a  thematic set concept rather than a publishable title, but I'm quite  proud of my new logline. The set was always meant to be more about  adaptation than paradise.
Many thanks to Havelock Vetinari, Pojo,  Daniel, Shdwcat, Kallisti, Guy Srinivasan, and all the other people who  helped with the submission.

What's the deal with mercenaries? It seems like a poor, linear mechanic to bring back, and I don't see any new twist on it here.

Most of these cards are pretty drab, though some are reasonably well-executed in their own right. Gold is a reasonable mechanic, but you haven't used it much here. It also seems very out-of-colour. With such a generic mechanic, it might've been nice to try to have each colour have its own twist on Gold. Maybe by only putting it on a certain type of black spell (like discard, or creature kill, or something.)

Jay Treat

Escape to Muraganda

Empirian fugitives fight for survival with the primitive tribes of predator-infested Muraganda

Nateen Savage (CR01)
[NMEL's Nateen Bravo -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
R
Creature-Cat Barbarian
1/1
Whenever CARDNAME attacks, commune. If you succeed, CARDNAME gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
(To commune, reveal a card from your hand or the top of your library. You succeed if it shares a creature type with CARDNAME.)
{Cat Petroglyph Watermark}

Commune just seems like a worst-of-both-worlds "tribal clash". It's both linear and random.

Curious Thrash (CR02)
[NMEL's Recon Goblin -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
R
Creature-Goblin Scout Rebel
1/1
Whenever CARDNAME attacks, look at the top card of target player's library.

Nateen Warrior – (CR03)
[NMEL's Nateen Prowler -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1R
Creature - Cat Warrior
2/1
{Cat Petroglyph Watermark}

Raknak Lookout (CR04)
1R
Creature-Lizard Scout
1/1
When CARDNAME enters the  battlefield, Lizard creatures you and your allies control get +1/+0 and  gain first strike until end of turn.
{Lizard Petroglyph Watermark}

Mokomoko (CR05)
[Viashino Grappler - gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details....]
2R
Creature-Lizard
3/1
G: CARDNAME gains trample until end of turn.
{Lizard Petroglyph Watermark}

Thrash Rally Chief (CR06)
1RR
Creature-Goblin Berserker Rebel
2/1
Resourceful—When CARDNAME enters the battlefield, choose one — Creatures  you and your allies control with two or more creatures types gain haste  until end of turn; or put a +1/+1 counter on CARDNAME.

You needed to hew as much complexity off this card as possible, by replacing the first choice with something much simpler. Not just for the sake of rarity, but so that you can start to clearly define what the mysterious "Resourceful" ability means.

Chirokai Champion (CR07)
[Cardkeeper's Chirokai Champion -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3R
Creature-Beast Warrior
3/2
Intimidate
{Beast Petroglyph Watermark}

Distracting Thrash – (CR08)
[Braman's Thrash Intimidator -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3R
Creature - Goblin Rogue Rebel
1/1
Resourceful—When CARDNAME enters the battlefield, choose one —  Creatures with fewer than two creature types can't block this turn or  put two +1/+1 counters on CARDNAME.

Pouncing Kiri (CR09)
4R
Creature-Cat
First Strike
3/2
Morph-1R
{Cat Petroglyph Watermark}

Canyon Bloodhowler – (CR10)
4R
Creature - Beast
3/4
Morph 4R
When CARDNAME is turned face-up, Beast creatures you control gain Trample until end of turn.
{Beast Petroglyph Watermark}

Tactical Strike (CR11)
R
Instant
Target creature you control deals 2 damage to  target creature or player. If the creature you control has two or more  creature types, it deals 4 damage to that creature or player instead.

Primal Mind (CR12)
R
Tribal Enchantment-Beast
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature is a Beast. It must attack each turn if able and it loses all activated abilities.
{Beast Petroglyph Watermark}

Fencer's Lunge (CR13)
[NMEL's Advanced tactics -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1R
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
If it has two or more creature types, it also gains first strike until end of turn.

Ancestral Spirit of the Raknak (CR14)
1R
Tribal Instant-Lizard
Until end of turn, target creature gains "R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn."
Commune. If you succeed, add RRR to your mana pool.
(To commune, reveal a card from your hand or the top of your library. You succeed if it shares a creature type with CARDNAME.)
{Lizard Petroglyph Watermark}

The Tale of the Lazy Cat (CR15)
1R
Tribal Enchantment-Cat
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has first strike.
Cat Lore (Whenever a Cat creature enters the battlefield, you may cast CARDNAME from your graveyard targeting it.)
{Cat Petroglyph Watermark}

Tribal, but still good. Cat Lore is also a great name.

Terrifying Roar (CR16)
2R
Tribal Sorcery-Cat
Target creature gains Intimidate until end of turn.
Cat Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.
{Cat Petroglyph Watermark}

Volcanic Flow (CR17)
2RR
Sorcery
CARDNAME deals 5 damage to target creature.

Desecrate (CR18)
4R
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact or land. If that  permanent has any creature types, CARDNAME deals 3 damage to that  permanent's controller.

Comments:

Muraganda builds on the popular tribal theme of Onslaught and Lorwyn  while casting its own unique spin. The two sides of the conflict in Escape both care about creature types, but the natives care about quality while the rebels care about quantity.

I scrapped almost everything and started rebuilding from scratch,  considering myriad possibilities. Approaching, hybrid, living auras and  bind familiar didn't make the transition. Spell morphs are uncommon and  may not appear until the second set.

I knew the land had to have power that the Empirians could invade for  in the last set but I didn't like the idea of an exact retread of Snow  via Sacred / Mystic. Eventually I found that the Tribal type I had so  quickly discarded would define the entire block. Tribal will exist on  lands and artifacts from common and up, enabling type-checking and  sentience-matters effects. Counting effects have been scaled back and  types-in-play threshold effects are right out.

The next set sees Rebels adopting the Morph tactics of the local  fauna and putting the power of Muraganda's land to use: They will use  Tribal mana. I'm thinking, Spider mana, Frog mana and the like. Any mana  produced by a permanent with creature type Bird is Bird mana. These  symbols will match the petroglyphic watermarks of each tribe. I love the  hidden-hybrid implications (each of five tribes belong to two colors  each) but could also just use Tribal mana? This is the block to flaunt  the word Tribal rather than hide it.

This submission has a few too many bland cards in it. However, it has a good sprinkling of interesting ideas. 

...possibly too many ideas....

Multiple creature types is a good way to separate animals from humanoids.

Resourceful has promise. I get the feeling that the mechanic is "this creature either helps itself, or helps others." I'm not sure who the "allies" are, but that's not important. I'd cull it from the ability. I'd also try to rein in the mechanic by cutting out some variation. The mechanic is still too open-ended to be meaningful. I'd set the second ability to always be "this gets two +1/+1 counters", and the first ability to always just be "creatures you control get [some bonus] until end of turn." I'd also rename the ability to better fit its flavour.

Scott Van Essen

Set Name:
Malgareth, the UnderPrison

Log Line:
Natives drive out prisoners as they overwhelm the guards in a forsaken subterranean prison.

Cards:
CB01
Rookie Escape Artist
[Jailbreaker Apprentice -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
B
Creature - Human Scout
1/1
Sacrifice CARDNAME: Target creature gains Intimidate until end of turn.
Watermark: Prisoner

CB02
Scintilla Farmer
[Unnamed Scintilla Collector Variant -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
B
Creature - Elf Shaman
0/0
CARDNAME enters the battlefield with one +1/+1 counter on it.
Remove a counter from CARDNAME: add B to your mana pool.
Watermark: Native

CB03
Neophyte Assassin
1B
Creature - Human Assassin
1/1
When CARDNAME is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, target player sacrifices a creature.
Watermark: Prisoner

CB04
Scintilla Collector
1B
Creature - Elf Druid
0/0
CARDNAME enters the battlefield with two +1/+1 counters on it.
CARDNAME can't block.
Watermark: Native

CB05
Cavern Bats
2B
Creature - Bat
2/1
Flying
Watermark: Native

CB06
Essence Thief
2B
2/1
Creature - Vampire Rogue
Swampwalk, Lifelink
Watermark: Prisoner

CB07
Watcher Informant
2B
Creature - Human Rogue
2/1
When CARDNAME enters the battlefield, target player discards a card.  Gain life equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card.
Watermark: Watcher

CB08
Mold Creeper
[Mold Creeper - community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3B
Creature - Fungus
2/2
Compost - Whenever a non-token creature you control is put in a graveyard from the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on CARDNAME.
B, Remove a counter from CARDNAME: Regenerate CARDNAME.
Watermark: Native

Does Compost really have enough design space for it to be keyworded? I guess it's possible to mine the design space. I'm not sure it'd yield a great variety of interesting cards though.

CB09
Big Bully
3BB
Creature - Ogre Thug
3/1
Whenever CARDNAME attacks a player, remove a counter from target  permanent that player controls and put a +1/+1 counter on CARDNAME.
Watermark: Prisoner

This one hits the mark. Simple and flavourful. However, being a 3/1 means he'll just be blocked and die straight away, after using his ability. I would've gone for 2/2 here. (Any bigger and he's not common.)

CB10
Contaminated Puma
5B
Creature - Cat
3/4
Countercast - Each counter you remove from a permanent you control while casting this spell reduces its cost by 2.
Deathtouch
Watermark: Native

Good ability here. I'd write it bracketed as a keyword though.

I'd also liked to have seen a proper name for this mechanic.

CB11
Final Haunting
[Weaken with Souls -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
B
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play CARDNAME, exile a creature card in your graveyard.
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn where X is the exiled card's power.
Watermark: Native

CB12
Bribe the Guards
1B
Sorcery
Put a +1/+1 counter on up to two creatures, then tap those creatures.
Watermark: Prisoner

Excellent flavour and execution here. "Reversible cards" (where you can play it on your own guys or theirs) like this one are typically difficult to balance.

CB13
Drain the Land
1B
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Land an opponent controls
Enchanted Land is a Swamp.
Whenever enchanted land is tapped, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature you control
Watermark: Native

Great simple common. I might've considered taking the "land is a swamp" clause off. I can see why it's there, but that could be a different card. It's a good novel common with just the +1/+1 counter bit. Taking the "is a swamp" part off also adds tension, because they will still want to use their best land, whereas there's far less reason for them to tap a swamp.

CB14
Insatiable Rot
[Noxious Shroomguy -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1B
Enchantment
Compost - Whenever a non-token creature you control is put into a graveyard  from the battlefield, target player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Watermark: Native

I see. Compost is just "death-trigger" ability-worded. It has a nice flavour, but it's completely unnecessary. You could narrow it way down, and make a proper mechanic out of it, but as it is, it adds nothing.

CB15
Bonds of Reprisal
2B
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
Whenever enchanted creature attacks or blocks, it deals damage equal to its power to its controller.
Watermark: Watcher

Has this already been printed?

CB16
Grand Larceny
2B
Instant
Move up to two counters from target permanent to another permanent of the same type.
Watermark: Prisoner

More good flavour.

CB17
Strength Extraction
[Bash Through Guards -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2B
Instant
Destroy target non-black creature.
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
Watermark: Prisoner

CB18
Fungal Rebirth
3B
Sorcery
Countercast - Each counter you remove from a permanent you control while casting this spell reduces its cost by 2.
Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand.
Watermark: Native

Comments
Per the judge comments, I removed Grift and Recycle from the set.  I re-concepted +1/+1 counters as concentrated mana crystals  (scintillae) that Natives create through composting and other methods  and then consume for mana or utility effects. Prisoners mainly steal and  trade counters and use them for their pump effect. Watchers will  interact with them in a different way. Rage seemed the most liked  mechanic so I focused on Black, which will define much of the rest of  the set.

I went with a little less stealing and a little more killing, but the  stealing feel is important so I made it less parasitic. Most counter  theft abilities always give you a counter and then let you remove one if  available. The exception is Grand Larceny, which is a Fate Transfer variant (the proportion of relevant counter generating cards at Common Black is the same as in Shadowmoor)

I kept the number of compost cards low (~5 at common between green  and black) and they only see your creatures to minimize board complexity  and number of triggers.

Countercast was created as a limited smoothing mechanic, but became  quite popular in playtest. There's a nice interaction where you  countercast out a big creature, killing your scintilla creature and  triggering compost.

Both watcher cards use your opponents cards against them or for you.

Big Bully was changed from a saboteur trigger to an attack trigger so  you could get more uses out of it before your opponent dies.

Counters are great, but they're a known mechanic, and overdoing them causes "work" problems for players.

Even if this submission has some issues (like compost), and over-uses counters, it has a few great cards, and utilises its world flavour well. (Though I'm not sure that world is big enough for a whole actual block.)

Daniel Williams

Deadsands

Disparate factions struggle to survive in a wild frontier filled with outlaws, violence, and death

CR1
Howling Coyote
R
Creature- Coyote
1/1
Reveal a card from your hand: If the card you revealed is red, target creature can't block this turn.

CR2
Marauding Bandits
1R
Creature- Human Rogue
2/1
Whenever Marauding Bandits attacks, reveal a card from your hand. If  you reveal a red card this way, Marauding Bandits deals 1 damage to each  player.

CR3
Spellslinger Outlaw
[Duelist- community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
1R
Creature-Human Rogue
1/1
When Spellslinger Outlaw enters the battlefield, have a showdown with  target creature's controller or target opponent. If you win,  Spellslinger Outlaw deals 2 damage to that creature or player. (Each  player in the showdown draws a card. Then each of those players  simultaneously discards a card from his or her hand. A player wins if  the card he or she discarded had a higher converted mana cost.)

Very good. Showdown is a well-constructed mini-game. Be aware that Showdown should only appear on significant effects. Two damage is almost too small. If the effect is too small, players will always just discard lands, and the ability will just be an opportunity to filter.

CR4
Viashino Sandscout
[Viashino Sandscout- Urza's Legacy]
1R
Creature- Viashino Scout
2/1
Haste
At the beginning of the end step, return Viashino Sandscout to its owner's hand.

CR5
Loose Steer
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2R
Creature- Aurochs
3/2
Loose Steer must attack each turn if able.
Whenever Loose Steers attacks, it gets +1/+0 unitl end of turn for each other attacking Aurochs.

CR6
Viashino War Priest 1rr
1rr
Creature- Viashino Shaman
2/2
Trample
When Sand Tribe War Priest enters the battlefield, have a showdown with  target opponent. If you win, Sand Tribe War Priest gets +3/+0 and gains  haste until end of turn. (Each player in the showdown draws a card.  Then each of those players simultaneously discards a card from his or  her hand. A player wins if the card he or she discarded had a higher  converted mana cost.)

CR7
Sandtribe Raiders
[Waste Scavengers- community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3r
Creature- Viashino Warrior
Retaliate- At  the beginning of each player's end step, if a creature you control was  destroyed this turn, put a 1/1 red Viashino Warrior creature token onto  the battlefield.

Repeatable token creation isn't common.

You need to narrow Retaliate down. A once-off ability would've been fine here.

CR8
Swooping Thunderbird
3rr
Creature- Elemental Bird
4/1
Haste, Flying
Revelation- Whenever  Swooping Thunderbird is revealed from your hand by a spell or ability,  you may pay R. If you do, target creature you control has gains haste  until end of turn.

A 4/1 Haste Flyer in red almost counts as rare, not common.

CR9
Crystalline Ritual
R
Sorcery
Add RRR to your mana pool. This mana cannot be spent to cast spells.

Good.

CR10
Unearthly Reflexes
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
R
Instant
Up to two target creatures gain first strike until end of turn.

Good. A mechanics-appropriate name would've been good. (Like "Duelling Duo", or something to do with their being two creatures.)

CR11
Burning Hatred
1R
Instant
Burning Hatred deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
Retaliate- If a creature your control was destroyed this turn, Burning Hatred deals 5 damage to that creature or player instead.

CR12
Fiery Deadeye
1R
Enchantment-Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has "R: This creature deals 1 damage to target creature blocking it."

CR13
Reckless Prospecting
1R
Sorcery
Draw 2 cards, then discard a card at random.

CR14
Viashino War Cry
1R
Instant
Target attacking  creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn. Have a showdown with the  defending player. If you win, that creature gains intimidate until end  of turn. (Each player in the showdown draws a card. Then each of  those players simultaneously discards a card from his or her hand. A  player wins if the card he or she discarded had a higher converted mana  cost.)

CR15
Mob's Verdict
[Lynch- community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
2R
Instant
Mob's Verdict deals damage to target creature equal to the number of creatures you control.

CR16
Fiery Totem
3R
Sorcery
You may reveal a red card  from your hand. If you do, put an X/1 red Elemental creature token with  haste onto the battlefield, where X is the converted mana cost of the  spell you revealed this way. Exile it at the beginning of the next end  step.

Better to just have this be an X/1 creature, rather than creating a token. This card is also probably not common. Hitting someone for 5-6 is just a bit high for common.

C17
Gatling Volley
2RR
Sorcery
Gatling Volley deals 4 damage to target player.
Revelation- Whenever Gatling Volley is revealed from your hand, you may pay 1R. If you do, Gatling Volley deals 1 damage to target player.

C18
Blastminer Blitz
[community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]
3RR
Sorcery
Destroy target land. Blastminer Blitz deals 3 damage to target creature without flying.

I chose red for this challenge because I felt that it had the greatest connection to Deadsands and its mechanics.

In regards to those mechanics, I choose Revelation over Hold Out as  it has more design space, is more likely to yield a benefit to the  player, and is more Timmy-friendly. I retooled Showdown to reveal less  information and still be nonrandom. The discard was added in so that one  player couldn't win every showdown by holding onto one big spell. The  draw precedes the discard so that players with empty hands won't  automatically lose...and then draw a card. Sadly, it no longer triggers  Revelation, but I feel its an acceptable loss. I unkeyworded  spellslinging since it the timing and frequency of the reveal varies  dramatically between cards. I decided to stick to revealing cards of the  same color, as my set does not have a multicolor theme. I tried using  other card properties, but most of them proved too restrictive in terms  of building a deck.

As for my commons, I utilized as many Western tropes as I could. I  also made sure that there were multiple ways to cheaply reveal cards at  common and that all of my mechanics were well represented.

Random notes:
-Viashino are combat focused, while the bandits are focused on noncombat damage
-Don't worry. Auroch's are not a major part of the set. I wanted a  Magic creature type that represented cows/buffalos and they fit the bill  quite well.

Jonathan Woodward

Golamo

Great civilizations of creatures grown large vie for power amongst Golamo's erratic mana geysers.

CG01 - Leaf-Spinner Druid
G
Creature - Spider Druid
0/2
Reach
Tap: Add G to your mana pool.

Would've liked to have sees 0/3 here, so he doesn't automatically go splat if he tries to block.

CG02 - Graforman Explorer
[Graforman Explorer  -http://community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/wiki/labs:Gds/gds2/fractal/FirstChallenge/Green]  - Havelock Vetinari
1G
Creature - Insect Scout
1/1
Tap,  sacrifice Graforman Explorer: Search your library for a basic land  card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your  library.

CG03 - Thamarach Hunter
[Graforman Drone - community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...] - Palpable
GG
Creature - Spider Warrior
2/3
When Thamarach Hunter enters the battlefield, put a card from your hand on top of your library.
Favored (When Thamarach Hunter enters the battlefield, look at the top  four cards of your library. You may reveal an Aura card from among them  and attach it to Thamarach Hunter. Put the rest on the bottom of your  library in any order.)

If this set has a boat-load of auras in it, this is interesting. (As I said above, I'm a big fan of semi-random "top-of-library" effects.) Personally, I'd make the number of cards bigger (like 8), so you usually get an aura, and don't have to play 24 auras in your deck. I also don't entirely understand the mechanic's name.

CG04 - Thamarach Orb-Weaver
[Blessed Thamarach -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]  - Cardkeeper
2G
Creature - Spider Shaman
1/2
Reach
Favored (When Thamarach Orb-Weaver enters the battlefield, look at the  top four cards of your library. You may reveal an Aura card from among  them and attach it to Thamarach Orb-Weaver. Put the rest on the bottom  of your library in any order.)

CG05 - Unweaver Mystic
2GG
Creature - Spider Shaman
1/3
When Unweaver Mystic enters the battlefield, you may destroy target aura.
Favored (When Unweaver Mystic enters the battlefield, look at the top  four cards of your library. You may reveal an Aura card from among them  and attach it to Unweaver Mystic. Put the rest on the bottom of your  library in any order.)

CG06 - Monstrous Toad
3G
Creature - Toad
4/3

CG07 - Thamarach Mentor
4G
Creature - Spider Shaman
2/4
Reach
Favored (When Thamarach Mentor enters the battlefield, look at the top  four cards of your library. You may reveal an Aura card from among them  and attach it to Thamarach Mentor. Put the rest on the bottom of your  library in any order.)

Two creatures with Favored and Reach? :<>

CG08 - Graforman Consul
[Graforman Consul -  community.wizards.com/magicthegathering/...]  - Cardkeeper
3GG
Creature - Insect Soldier
3/3
Swarm  (Whenever a creature would block a creature with Swarm, it instead  blocks all attacking creatures with Swarm. You choose the order in which  the blocking creature deals combat damage.)
When Graforman Consul enters the battlefield, put two 1/1 green Insect tokens with Swarm onto the battlefield.

Isn't swarm going to create a big mass of creatures all attacking/blocking in one big scrum? I guess that's okay. But people would often just avoid blocking swarmers.

Choosing the blockers' order is too onerous. It's penalty enough having to block multiple creatures, without having to content with Banding too.

CG09 - Graforman Hexasquad
3GGG
Creature - Insect Soldier
6/6
Tram