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Fluffy, the  cute and cuddly baloth beatstick of marshmellowy  fluffyness and lolz,  om-nom-noming Keeper's wicked soul;  its insane,  deadly amount of  cuteness rips the fabric of reality to shreds, its  pink, soft, round  teeth dripping with honey, every breath spreading the  repugnant smell of  fresh flowers, this horrifying creature of  destruction  devastates Keeper by spreading its deadly, all-powerful  fluff over the  countryside, laying waste to dragon and furry bunny  alike. It comes howling out of the east, an endless rattling and  gnashing of teeth, a twisted grinding pull on the very fabric of reality  threatening to consume body and mind alike in an endless glimmering  pink torrent.

Nothing is more terrible than the sun glittering on  its teeth, save perhaps the light glancing off the oily tones of the  sequins that cover its hotpants.

Of course, there was that  child who tried to eat Fluffy, mistaking him for a giant, walking piece  of cotton candy.  That child... is now the almighty leader of Fluffy,  controlling his every move, sending him to devour the people that cross  his path.  And Keeper.  Because we said so. Nothing can stop Fluffy's march to victory, spreading the sweet smell of strawberries where ever it lays its mighty paw. Followed by many jolly fairies singing joyful songs about Fluffy's cuddlyness, the baloth wanders the mountains of Zendikarland on a quest to share the love with Keeper, tough love that is...

Fluffy, we'll miss you friend.  We'll miss you...

Mar 31, 2010 -- 1:21PM, Rush_Clasic wrote:

My other name consideration was "Thermodynamics of Doom!"

Apr 2, 2010 -- 9:50PM, Silly_Dragons wrote:

Master Yumyums! Master Yumyums! I made it even more unfun!

Spirited Betrayal
Sorcery
All lands are copies of Night of Souls' Betrayal . The legend rule doesn't apply to them.
*Headsplosion*

Apr 4, 2010 -- 12:01PM, royk wrote:

Apr 4, 2010 -- 12:00PM, Reaver4567 wrote:

If they make Mono-blue control a viable option for FNM again, I'm going to force myself to browse 4chan while listening to Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber and then I'm going to read Twilight books before I go to sleep for 1 whole week...

I already do that.

Apr 10, 2010 -- 2:43PM, Rush_Clasic wrote:

Apr 10, 2010 -- 2:40PM, Master_Yumyums wrote:

I NEED GRADES TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL.

Use of caps lock: 9/10

Apr 24, 2010 -- 1:51AM, lMarcusl wrote:

We were goddamn slowly making our way towards those **** mountains. The road was all filthy and wet, bird **** on every step and eldrazi piss raining from the sky. "So those ****tards are finally awake huh?" my idiotic companion asked. "Yep, we're in deep ****, homie." "Wazzup?" "Nothing, just pissed." My companion looked to the sky. A drop of the eldrazi urine fell right in his eye. "Oh, man. Now I'm pissed too."

As we were moving on, we were looking around on the innocent nature. Two baloths were doing it on the road so we had to make a little detour. The pools of piss were kinda unpleasant but at least it was warm so we had no trouble at night. "One gets used to piss running down your face you know." said my companion. "F'shizzle." answered I stoicly and kicked two rabbits, who were doing nasty things to each other's ass, in the ass. "Man one can't take a spit here without hitting some shamming animals." "Word. Zendikar sucks. Hope the eldrazi contribute a little to the population regulation." As my companion said that, a gigantic, 20 meters tall eldrazi slithered by. On it's arms and tentacles were remains of birds, rabbits, baloths, angels, planeswalkers, dragons, krakens and a few cities. We stood up and clapped loudly. "A few bitches less."

(People don't get banned for such posts do they?)

Apr 28, 2010 -- 9:14PM, JohnnyValdez wrote:

Am I the only one? Looking over the recent threads debating the merits of "Belgium," the various ideas to "fix" England and other topics which concern European nations, I'm struck by how much I don't care what happens.

Britain and Spain are, to me, completely inaccessible due to the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention volcanoes and socialism.

I sound like I'm bashing European nations, and I guess I kind of am. If you enjoy living in France, Luxembourg, Poland or any other, older nation, that's fantastic. I just don't see why there's such a huge uproar about a volcano that is mostly affecting a niche group of people.

May 3, 2010 -- 8:50AM, oranges wrote:

May 3, 2010 -- 2:47AM, Vorthosian wrote:

May 3, 2010 -- 1:16AM, RPJesus wrote:

May 2, 2010 -- 10:40PM, TinGorilla wrote:

Hell, I don't even like that they printed Pillarfield Ox

I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but pillarfield ox has one of the best pieces of art of all time. Of all time.

Really? I don't really see the greatness.

It's an Ox. In a PILLARFIELD. That's like, a field of frickin' PILLARS, but to this Ox it just looks like an ordinary field of grass - because he is so BADASS.

May 3, 2010 -- 7:05PM, Gardevior wrote:

Finally, Master Yumyums just had probably the most boring, worthless card in the entire contest. Why would you need to give creatures -1/-0 on your turn? To beat them down with your nonflying blue aggro deck that plays a bad win condition card to win (and if you are playing the critters, why aren't you winning with them?!)? And the win condition itself is so mindblowingly difficult it seems like it was only made simply to fit the criteria.

Derivative Radial Tangent Calculation of Pure, Absolute, Utmost, Uncontestable and Utter Doom
Newton's Second Law of Equations

As an additional calculation to add to ~, reveal a Mathematical Equation from your hand, with a converted mana casting cost equal to a Prime Number. (Prime numbers are 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 13, 17...)
~ costs ƒ(x) = Σπ(δƒ(u)-ƒ(x)) if you're a fan of René Descartes in Facebook.

~ deals X damage to each creature your opponents control within a radius of X KM from ~, where X is the revealed Equation's converted mana  cost.
~ deals Y damages to target player, where Y is the area of the Sphere (using the first 50 digits of pi as pi).
~ deals Z less damage, where Z is the distance in Lightyears from the centerpoint of the Sphere.

Add up X, Y and Z and round it up to the closest number. Multiply the damage ~ would deal by m, where m is the number of multiples of that number.

Calculate the first 50 Fibonaci numbers: Deal the difference between the 25-50th numbers, and the first 25 numbers.
As long as the angular acceleration of an object t approaches maximum velocity relative to the cross product of a vector n and its bisector as the object passes through point Q at vector n's convergence in zero gravity, Disastrous Radial Tangent Calculation can't be countered.
As long as you can do a geometric proof of anything on this card, target opponent must be doing one. Otherwise, he or she loses the game. (both games. you just lost the game.)