REMEMBER FLUFFY, mercilessly slain by the bastard Useless MancerShow
Fluffy, the cute and cuddly baloth beatstick of marshmellowy fluffyness and lolz, om-nom-noming Keeper's wicked soul; its insane, deadly amount of cuteness rips the fabric of reality to shreds, its pink, soft, round teeth dripping with honey, every breath spreading the repugnant smell of fresh flowers, this horrifying creature of destruction devastates Keeper by spreading its deadly, all-powerful fluff over the countryside, laying waste to dragon and furry bunny alike. It comes howling out of the east, an endless rattling and gnashing of teeth, a twisted grinding pull on the very fabric of reality threatening to consume body and mind alike in an endless glimmering pink torrent.
Nothing is more terrible than the sun glittering on its teeth, save perhaps the light glancing off the oily tones of the sequins that cover its hotpants.
Of course, there was that child who tried to eat Fluffy, mistaking him for a giant, walking piece of cotton candy. That child... is now the almighty leader of Fluffy, controlling his every move, sending him to devour the people that cross his path. And Keeper. Because we said so. Nothing can stop Fluffy's march to victory, spreading the sweet smell of strawberries where ever it lays its mighty paw. Followed by many jolly fairies singing joyful songs about Fluffy's cuddlyness, the baloth wanders the mountains of Zendikarland on a quest to share the love with Keeper, tough love that is...
If they make Mono-blue control a viable option for FNM again, I'm going to force myself to browse 4chan while listening to Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber and then I'm going to read Twilight books before I go to sleep for 1 whole week...
We were goddamn slowly making our way towards those **** mountains. The road was all filthy and wet, bird **** on every step and eldrazi piss raining from the sky. "So those ****tards are finally awake huh?" my idiotic companion asked. "Yep, we're in deep ****, homie." "Wazzup?" "Nothing, just pissed." My companion looked to the sky. A drop of the eldrazi urine fell right in his eye. "Oh, man. Now I'm pissed too."
As we were moving on, we were looking around on the innocent nature. Two baloths were doing it on the road so we had to make a little detour. The pools of piss were kinda unpleasant but at least it was warm so we had no trouble at night. "One gets used to piss running down your face you know." said my companion. "F'shizzle." answered I stoicly and kicked two rabbits, who were doing nasty things to each other's ass, in the ass. "Man one can't take a spit here without hitting some shamming animals." "Word. Zendikar sucks. Hope the eldrazi contribute a little to the population regulation." As my companion said that, a gigantic, 20 meters tall eldrazi slithered by. On it's arms and tentacles were remains of birds, rabbits, baloths, angels, planeswalkers, dragons, krakens and a few cities. We stood up and clapped loudly. "A few bitches less."
Am I the only one? Looking over the recent threads debating the merits of "Belgium," the various ideas to "fix" England and other topics which concern European nations, I'm struck by how much I don't care what happens.
Britain and Spain are, to me, completely inaccessible due to the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention volcanoes and socialism.
I sound like I'm bashing European nations, and I guess I kind of am. If you enjoy living in France, Luxembourg, Poland or any other, older nation, that's fantastic. I just don't see why there's such a huge uproar about a volcano that is mostly affecting a niche group of people.
Finally, Master Yumyums just had probably the most boring, worthless card in the entire contest. Why would you need to give creatures -1/-0 on your turn? To beat them down with your nonflying blue aggro deck that plays a bad win condition card to win (and if you are playing the critters, why aren't you winning with them?!)? And the win condition itself is so mindblowingly difficult it seems like it was only made simply to fit the criteria.
Derivative Radial Tangent Calculation of Pure, Absolute, Utmost, Uncontestable and Utter Doom Newton's Second Law of Equations
As an additional calculation to add to ~, reveal a Mathematical Equation from your hand, with a converted mana casting cost equal to a Prime Number. (Prime numbers are 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 13, 17...) ~ costs ƒ(x) = Σπ(δƒ(u)-ƒ(x)) if you're a fan of René Descartes in Facebook.
~ deals X damage to each creature your opponents control within a radius of X KM from ~, where X is the revealed Equation's converted mana cost. ~ deals Y damages to target player, where Y is the area of the Sphere (using the first 50 digits of pi as pi). ~ deals Z less damage, where Z is the distance in Lightyears from the centerpoint of the Sphere.
Add up X, Y and Z and round it up to the closest number. Multiply the damage ~ would deal by m, where m is the number of multiples of that number.
Calculate the first 50 Fibonaci numbers: Deal the difference between the 25-50th numbers, and the first 25 numbers. As long as the angular acceleration of an object t approaches maximum velocity relative to the cross product of a vector n and its bisector as the object passes through point Q at vector n's convergence in zero gravity, Disastrous Radial Tangent Calculation can't be countered. As long as you can do a geometric proof of anything on this card, target opponent must be doing one. Otherwise, he or she loses the game. (both games. you just lost the game.)
I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.
Pilot of: Thrullilicious Bats in the Belfry Glittering Totem Citadel of Barbs Thallid Salad Spreading Slivers Swamped Hardheaded The Big Green Kobold Fire, Fire! The Eyes of Deception It's Complicated Candyman Faceless How to Annoy Friends and Alienate Enemies
0:10:45 [ZJB] It is now turn 16 (ZJB) 0:10:45 [ZJB] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step 0:10:52 [ZJB] ZJB untaps his/her permanents 0:10:54 [ZJB] ZJB taps spirit 0:10:56 [ZJB] ZJB draws a card 0:11:00 [ZJB] ZJB plays Plains from Hand 0:11:03 [ZJB] gg? 0:11:07 [Mono789] not yet 0:11:12 [ZJB] ZJB taps spirit 0:11:13 [ZJB] ZJB taps spirit 0:11:13 [ZJB] ZJB taps spirit 0:11:13 [ZJB] ZJB taps spirit 0:11:13 [ZJB] ZJB taps Knight-Captain of Eos 0:11:13 [ZJB] ZJB taps soldier 0:11:14 [Mono789] Be afraid. 0:11:16 [Mono789] Mono789 taps Vivid Crag 0:11:18 [Mono789] Mono789 taps Vivid Crag 0:11:18 [Mono789] Mono789 taps Vivid Marsh 0:11:18 [Mono789] Mono789 taps Vivid Marsh 0:11:18 [Mono789] Mono789 taps Reflecting Pool 0:11:18 [ZJB] lol 0:11:19 [Mono789] Mono789 plays Bituminous Blast from Hand 0:11:25 [Mono789] Now wrath! 0:11:35 [Mono789] Mono789 puts Wrath of God into play from Library 0:11:36 [ZJB] ZJB puts Knight-Captain of Eos to Graveyard from Play 0:11:39 [Mono789] Awesomeness! 0:11:54 [ZJB] ummm 0:11:59 [Mono789] xD 0:12:05 [ZJB] u didnt really cascade 0:12:13 [Mono789] What? 0:12:17 [ZJB] u have other cards in the deck that cost less than four 0:12:21 [ZJB] and u didnt reveal any 0:12:25 [ZJB] u just pulled out wrath 0:12:27 [Mono789] That was the first one I revealed bud. 0:12:37 [ZJB] ZJB puts Glorious Anthem into play from Library 0:12:40  Player Lost
So, I dragged from my deck to the field and revealed a wrath. He tried to say that I had other cards that cost 4 or less, but I have no idea what logic he was going for here.
Werewolves Invade YMtC!: Town-aligned Rotworm Mass, Survived, Mafia Victory Heroes Mafia: Angela Petrelli, Town-Aligned Undercover Revengeful Mother, Win for Me, Mafia Victory Super Smash Bros. Mafia: Town-Aligned Mason, Survived, Town Victory Bear Mafia: Town-Aligned Vanilla, Lynched Day 1, Mafia Victory YMtC Mafia II: Henry-Stern, Town-Aligned Vanilla, Town Victory, Town MVP Time Fracture Mafia: Mafia-Aligned Nero, the Last Romulan, Lynched Day 3, Borg Victory Touhou Mafia III: Tenshi Hinani, Town-Aligned Vanilla, Survived, Mafia Victory, Town MVP Mafia 2010: Lynched Day 1, Town-Aligned Vanilla, Mafia Victory Dragonball Z Mafia: Goku, Town-Aligned Charismatic Townie, Mafia Victory Quarantined Mafia: Lynched Day 4, J. Walter Weatherman, Infected-Aligned Administrative Assistant, Mr. T (so basically mafia) Victory Glass Box Mafia: Killed Night 2, Icthys, Town-Aligned Networker, Town Victory Battle Royale Mafia: Killed Night 3, Zipperflesh and Dark Stryke Victory Scars of Mirrodin Mafia: Killed Night 3, Town-Aligned Charismatic, Mafia Victory Portal Mafia: Lynched Day 3, Test Subject #2, Mafia-Aligned Rolestopper, Town Victory (that was utter BS) Toxic Waste Mafia: Survived, Violet, Hive (Cult)-Aligned Powerless Taskmaster, Hive Victory PK Hatez You Mafia: Survived, Town-Aligned Goth, Mafia Victory Dreven City: A Wild West Mafia: Town-Aligned "Los Angeles" Reed, One-Shot Vig, Survived, Town Victory (just barely, major props to Just a Cleric) YMtC Mafia III: Killed Night 2, Mafia Victory Vampire Mafia: Mafia-Aligned Pander, Mafia Victory Touhou Border Collapse: Bill Cosby, Town-Aligned, Killed Night 1, Mafia Victory Harry Potter Mafia: Argus Filch, Town-Aligned Tracker, Lynched Day 5, Mafia Victory [Basic #5] Bandit Mafia: Town-Aligned Vanilla, Survived, Mafia Victory Borderlands Mafia: Town-Aligned Mason, Killed Night 1, Town Victory eBay Mafia: Mafia-Aligned, Survived, Mafia Victory Full Metal Alchemist Mafia: Alphonse Elric, Town-Aligned Mason, Killed Night 1, Town Victory Sunflowers for Ragnarokio: Lynched Day 3, Town/Just a Cleric/Tevish Szat/Faux-Razor Victory True Blood Mafia: Lynched Day 4, Mafia Victory My Mafia Diary: Skyhunter, Mafia-Aligned Emo, Survived, Flawless Mafia Victory Paper Mario Mafia: Blue Goomba, Town-Aligned Lover, Killed Night 2, Mafia Victory Small Town Mafia: Pigsticker Mafia-Aligned Coward, Killed Night 2, Caveman Mafia and Zipperflesh Victory Stuff on my Desk Mafia: Lotus Cobra, Town-Aligned Vanilla, Survived, Mafia Victory Order of the Chaos Rose Mafia: Lord Dagol Ji'Lovik, Town-Aligned Hypnotist, Mafia Victory, Town MVP Camp Crystal Lake Mafia: Ongoing A Certain Magical Mafia: Killed Night 1, Town-Aligned The Siege of Balignor Mafia: Ongoing, Killed Day 4 Mafia of Ancient Egypt: Replaced in for Murica day 2, Ra, Town-Aligned Charismatic, Town Victory, Town MVP Lord of the Rings Mafia: Replaced in for Dr Demento, Town-Aligned Mason/One-Shot Self-Doc, Town Victory, Town MVP Internet Stars Mafia: Town-Aligned Vanilla, Mafia Victory Mythos Mafia: Ongoing