Community

 
Magic: The Gathering Magic General <3 People who say you don't know the rules 2!
Jump Menu:
Post Reply
Page 132 of 149  •  Prev 1 ... 130 131 132 133 134 ... 149 Next
Switch to Forum Live View <3 People who say you don't know the rules 2!
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 2:22PM #1311
IronMagus
Date Joined: Aug 10, 2005
Posts: 5,678
Ok so this guy was just a total D-bag.  First, we have this:

0:02:16 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Volt Charge from Hand
0:02:17 [IronMagus] Shrine of Burning Rage now has 6 (+1) counters.

0:02:22 [b is b] Ok
0:02:23 [b is b] gg
0:02:24 [b is b] g2
0:02:25 [b is b] [Opponent is requesting a new game]

0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] ok
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] ip (Apparently he did say he'd play, but I guess I missed that because I was still sideboarding)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 7 cards
0:00:00 [b is b] kp
(meanwhile I'm still sideboarding.  Soon enough, I finish, and start the game...)
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:03 [IronMagus] [New Game: waiting for opponent]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus shuffles library
0:00:00 [IronMagus] If we have a disagreement about the rules, please don't quit.  We can get a ruling in a short time, and perhaps we'll both understand the rules a little better when it's through.  Last person who quit without learning: Patricio Jimenez
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus shuffles library
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 7 cards (As soon as I draw my cards, however...)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] [-------- New Game Started --------]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus's Security Code: B39B7F83/sb [Type 2]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] b is b's Security Code: AD646E58 [???]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:01 [b is b] [Opponent is requesting a new game] (He starts it over again!  Maybe he didn't like his cards, and wanted a "free" mull to 7 instead of going down to six?)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 7 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus shuffles library
0:00:00 [IronMagus] If we have a disagreement about the rules, please don't quit.  We can get a ruling in a short time, and perhaps we'll both understand the rules a little better when it's through.  Last person who quit without learning: Patricio Jimenez
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] [-------- New Game Started --------] (I just roll with it, and draw a new hand)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus's Security Code: B39B7F83/sb [Type 2]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] b is b's Security Code: AD646E58 [???]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:00 [b is b] kp
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 7 cards
0:00:03 [IronMagus] kp
0:00:08 [b is b] you start !!
0:00:08 [b is b] lol

0:00:11 [b is b] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:14 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Mountain from Hand (I didn't want to argue with him about how you have to say that before you draw, so I just went ahead and took my turn.)
0:00:14 [b is b] don't cry
0:00:14 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:00:15 [b is b] plz
0:00:15 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Grim Lavamancer from Hand
0:00:17 [IronMagus] End my turn
0:00:19 [b is b] you got first
0:00:20 [b is b] !!
0:00:25 [b is b] I PLAY
0:00:29 [b is b] noob

0:00:31 [IronMagus] ? (WTF?  So, who starts?  Make up your damn mind already!)
0:00:32 [b is b] b is b is now the controller of Mountain
0:00:32
[b is b] b is b is now the controller of Grim Lavamancer (note that's him taking my stuff, not me giving it to him)
0:00:34 [IronMagus] ok (I don't want to get in a fight here, I just want to play some Magic.)
0:00:34 [b is b] b is b puts Grim Lavamancer to Graveyard from Play
0:00:34 [b is b] b is b puts Mountain to Graveyard from Play

0:00:37 [b is b] b is b plays Plains from Hand
0:00:37 [IronMagus] IronMagus puts Mountain to Hand from Graveyard
0:00:38 [IronMagus] IronMagus puts Grim Lavamancer to Hand from Graveyard

0:00:38 [b is b] End my turn
0:00:47 [IronMagus] then why did you say "you start !!"?
0:00:51 [IronMagus] It is now turn 2 (IronMagus)
0:00:51 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:53 [IronMagus] IronMagus untaps his/her permanents
0:00:53 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
0:00:54 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws a card
0:00:54 [IronMagus] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:55 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Mountain from Hand
0:00:55 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:00:56 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Grim Lavamancer from Hand
0:00:57 [b is b] It is now turn 3 (b is b)
0:00:57 [b is b] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:58 [b is b] It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
0:00:58 [b is b] b is b draws a card

(No response, so we continue on with the game, until later on when he tries to O-Ring my only nonland permanent, a Shrine of Burning Rage : )


0:04:11 [b is b] b is b puts Tezzeret's Gambit to Graveyard from Play
0:04:19 [b is b] b is b taps Glacial Fortress
0:04:19 [b is b] b is b taps Plains
0:04:21 [b is b] b is b taps Sphere of the Suns
0:04:22 [b is b] Sphere of the Suns now has 3 (-1) counters.
0:04:23 [b is b] b is b plays Oblivion Ring from Hand (Immediately draws a line to my Shrine)
0:04:27 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:04:27 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:04:27 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:04:28 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Shrine of Burning Rage (I'm gonna pop the Shrine, get some damage in and make him exile one of his own permanents.)
0:04:31 [IronMagus] resp to ring
0:04:28 [b is b] b is b taps Tumble Magnet
0:04:31 [b is b] resp

0:04:34 [b is b] Tumble Magnet now has 4 (-1) counters.
0:04:38 [IronMagus] don't work like that
0:04:42 [b is b] lol
0:04:45 [b is b] i resp

0:04:49 [IronMagus] doesn't matter
0:04:50 [b is b] for activated
0:04:51 [IronMagus] I've already activated it
0:04:52 [b is b] yes
0:04:55 [b is b] no

0:04:59 [IronMagus] look, want me to go fetch the rule?
0:05:03 [IronMagus] or just paraphrase?

0:05:12 [b is b] play right or i quit
0:05:19 [IronMagus] let's do this step by step then
0:05:21 [b is b] et je t'emmerde pauvre con (???)
0:05:22 [IronMagus] back up ok?
0:05:24 [System] Player Lost




0:00:00 [IronMagus] If we have a disagreement about the rules, please don't quit.  We can get a ruling in a short time, and perhaps we'll both understand the rules a little better when it's through.  Last person who quit without learning: Patricio Jimenez b is b
MTG Rules Advisor since 2007-06-27.  Amateur MTG rules nerd since forever.
Download the official rules and more at wizards.com/magic/rules

-[ IronMagus' New Marketplace Trade Thread ]- 100+ completed trades!
Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 3:07PM #1312
Dilleux_Lepaire
Date Joined: Dec 6, 2005
Posts: 8,864


et je t'emmerde pauvre con




That's in french. It means something like "and **** you idiot".

He was hilarious. 

Rules Advisor

Quotes Show

Jan 10, 2011 -- 11:15AM, Uhhsam wrote:

giving a magnet to a dude in a mask with a little dagger so he can single-handedly bring down the meanest fatty ever to annihilate a plane .



Feb 23, 2011 -- 10:29AM, RPJesus wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 6:21AM, Dragon_Whelp wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 4:48AM, Riorvard wrote:

Rancor dies to in-response removal.



Yeah... Until next game, where it'll be right back.

Seriously, there's no way to deal with Rancor in any format. It should be banned, except Gleemax is a lobbyist for the Rancor party, so that'll never happen.


You can't ban rancor, it just returns to your deck.



Apr 16, 2011 -- 12:06PM, Dragon_Whelp wrote:

Apr 16, 2011 -- 12:02PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

You might want to actually talk to the Flavor & Storyline Board people... since, you know, our whole reason for playing Magic is the flavor. I'm willing to bet you'll get a lot more interest there than in General.



Indeed, both posters down there would be thrilled.



Apr 26, 2011 -- 5:10PM, Vektor480 wrote:


I think I wasn't direct enough in my last post. I'll try to fix it now.
Ahem...
NO ONE CARES

there you have it.



May 3, 2011 -- 9:29AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

When talks about banning Jace first started, I was thinking that I would see him banned come June 20th. But as I think more about it, I don't really think that Jace is the problem anymore. Sure his power level leaves very little to the imagination (opening Jace is like opening a refrigerator box with a naked girl on the inside), and sure his price does have a strong impact on what players choose to play (playing Jace is like being intimate with a woman and she doesn't charge you in the morning), but it is not the source of all the problems in Standard.



May 24, 2011 -- 12:02AM, SleetFox wrote:

How do people think saving room to print more abilities on cards is dumbing down the game?

Do you really think, say, Akroma would ever be printed if she said, "Akroma can block by creatures with this ability and cannot be blocked by creatures without this ability.  If a creature without this ability would deal combat damage by Akroma would be destroyed, prevent all combat damage that creature would deal to Akroma this combat.  Attacking does not cause Akroma to tap.  If Akroma is blocked and deals lethal damage, it deals the remainder of its damage to the defending player.  Akroma may attack and use abilities that require tapping in the casting cost the turn it enters the battlefield.  Akroma cannot be damaged, enchanted, equipped, blocked or targeted by black or red sources" rather than her "dumbed down" wording she has?  No freaking way.  Keywording and shorthand allows them to make complicated cards easy to play with, allowing them to be printed in the first place.



May 30, 2011 -- 5:57PM, Vektor480 wrote:

The creation of praetors was worth it just because now amoeboid changeling is a praetor.



Jul 6, 2011 -- 4:06AM, Purple_Shrimp wrote:

1. cast frankie peanuts 2. ask opponent "will you concede the game this turn"? if they say yes, you win; if they say no, play a staying power
3. subsequently ask "will you attack this turn"? and "will you cast a spell this turn"? (using a Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir for the second question if necessary) to ensure they can't disrupt the combo
4. donate them a platinum angel
5. play a mox lotus and braingeyser them for every card in their library. play an opalescence and donate them a glorious anthem and a blacker lotus , then play enchanted evening . play and activate a mindslaver and then donate them a fastbond and the mox lotus (returning one of the donates to your hand with eternal witness or whatever)
6. during their turn, play every permanent in their hand (playing lands with fastbond) then (as yourself) cast mirrorweave on the blacker lotus, so every permanent becomes a copy of it. proceed to tear up every card they control, and hopefully do it before they notice that they aren't bound by staying power's ability anymore and can concede



Sep 8, 2011 -- 10:08AM, SereneChaos wrote:

Sep 8, 2011 -- 10:03AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Sep 8, 2011 -- 9:39AM, SereneChaos wrote:


One part of the statement being true=/=the whole statement true.


Whatever.
I'm still here about ten minutes away. Whenever you want to get destroyed in Magic, I'm available.



I would like to get destroyed in Magic, actually. Do you know anybody good enough?



Sep 9, 2011 -- 11:30AM, ElvenSoma wrote:

Please format your statements in a way that doesn't look like a baboon hit its face on your keyboard.



Sep 10, 2011 -- 2:58AM, Purple_Shrimp wrote:

why did Garruk Relentless lose a loyalty counter

Spoiler: Show

to get to the other side



Oct 8, 2011 -- 10:22AM, catowner wrote:

You're such an obvious troll that you have hexproof and : Regenerate.



Nov 7, 2011 -- 2:34AM, RPJesus wrote:

Nov 7, 2011 -- 12:25AM, krichaiushii wrote:

Dark Ritual being overpowered is determined more by what is done with it than the card itself.


True, but the fact that it enables so many ridiculous things is pretty telling. It's like, sure I can use a shotgun as a bludgeoning instrument, but that doesn't make it not a shotgun.



Nov 21, 2011 -- 12:09PM, Yanmato1 wrote:

Shortly before Serra died, she transferred her spark into an angel whose full name was Asha Avacyn Bolas. Her dragon father groomed her for her positions in Alara and Innistrad, and she's also been getting help from her uncle Ugin in the form of Urza, who was resurrected as Marit Lage to be the avatar as which she projects herself into material realms. Grieslbrand is a split personality who sometimes wanders the planes disguised as a human woman named Liliana Vess.



Nov 22, 2011 -- 6:59PM, rulesinquisitor wrote:

Yeah that (Content Removed) really annoys me.

Moderated by MY_self right about naahowwww!



Dec 5, 2011 -- 4:01PM, Gemstone386 wrote:

Dilleux_Lepaire just won the thread.



Jan 21, 2012 -- 12:45PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

And, as usual, Dilleux wins the entire thread. Nice work, sir, nice work.



Dec 14, 2011 -- 2:33PM, signofzeta wrote:

They need to make 9 layers of zones where cards go when they "die".  Much like Hell.



Jan 22, 2012 -- 3:32AM, Escef wrote:


Wow, holy doggy poop, kids, obvious statement is obvious.



Feb 5, 2012 -- 11:35AM, krichaiushii wrote:

Feb 5, 2012 -- 8:48AM, garruk_rellentless wrote:

i don't think your geting it WotC is trying to kill the comption to make it so that there shity app is the only one left.

I haven't tried the app.   How is its use of English grammar?

Cheers!



Feb 23, 2012 -- 1:16PM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Everyone's life would be easier if players would, instead of coming to the 'net for help with a deck, just netdeck and be done with it. And I'm not talking about some Top 8 lists, for the Casualists, too, can benefit from netdecking. I've netdecked plenty of decks from the Casual Play forums from users such as Mown, Raedien, Floopfoot, and a few others. I snatched straight the heck out of my web browser. Yes, people, your original idea fell victim to a savage netdecker. You have been assimiliated.

Suppose I wanted a Zombie deck. Why on earth would I spend time searching Gatherer for a decent list of Zombie cards when Raedien already did it for me? Taking time to be creative or waiting on people on the forums to tell you why your deck sucks or 'go to Casual forums' is a disasterous waste of time (to me).



Feb 24, 2012 -- 2:29AM, RPJesus wrote:

Feb 17, 2012 -- 8:07PM, SereneChaos wrote:

If WotC started putting $100 bills in packs, the players would complain that they folded them wrong.


No, they just spam them with ban requests .

That being said, Magic was ruined back in Alpha when they added all that rules and cards [Debutantes avert your eyes]. My friends and I still like playing it the "pure" way (Basically we go into the woods and hit eachother with wiffle bats while shouting made up obscenities. You know, the way Garfield wanted it to be played). 



Mar 12, 2012 -- 11:50AM, RPJesus wrote:

Don't worry about it. I've come up with a list of changes to fix EDH.

-First off, there's no commander.
-The minimum deck size is 60 cards, and each deck can have up to four of each card, save basic lands and relentless rats. Also decks have no color identity.
-Starting life total is 20.

And voila, now things are balanced.



Mar 16, 2012 -- 11:06PM, catowner wrote:

Here's a clever play you can try yourself:
-Convince friend to run relentless rats.dec in legacy tournament
-Get a deck with lots of mill, yixlid jailer, and humility
-Drop humility and jailer, wait for him to dump his hand, mill him out
-All his rats now have no abilities.  Call a judge because he's playing an illegal deck with more than 4 of a single card.
-Get him/her banned from competitive magic play



Mar 21, 2012 -- 2:30PM, wickeddarkman wrote:

But how to mark them without making the individual sleeve different!

You could buy a skunk and slam it's butt on you deck (pardon the french)

Then after the game just sniff at your opponent's pile of cards and you will know if any of your cards are there!!!



Mar 21, 2012 -- 2:38PM, Terti wrote:

In Soviet Russia, Sorin opens You



Apr 18, 2012 -- 3:33PM, HairlessThoctar wrote:

L, is for the leather gloves you weaaaar.
O, is for the organs that guy could spaaaare.
V, is very very, extraordinay.
E, is for every vagrant i butchered in a wine cellar befooooore.



May 11, 2012 -- 5:18PM, TinGorilla wrote:

The outer layer of the Magic: the Gathering box, the carton, or crust, is fairly thin and light, and contains largely aluminosilcates.

Within that lies the middle layer, consisting of the familiar booster pack. Although solid, the booster packs' high temperatures allow them to acutally move around within the booster box. This flow, sometimes called convection, is cited by frustrated box mappers as one of WOTC's most genious uses of thermodynamics since the Ravnica block.

No one knows what lies at the core of the booster box, but scientists theorize that it must be especially dense in order to make up for the large amount of fluff distributed amongst the booster packs.



Jun 15, 2012 -- 9:39AM, Burning_Forest wrote:

Jun 15, 2012 -- 9:31AM, chinkeeyong wrote:

Torpor Orb is absolutely godawful against Vexing Devil .



whoever is playing vexing devil is probably losing anyways



Jun 15, 2012 -- 4:36PM, RPJesus wrote:

I imagine [Ajani 3's] second ability involves him hurling the creature at your opponent Brion Stoutarm style, then the guy is just like "Okay, that may have worked, but don't- GOD DAMN IT!" as he does it again because cats don't give a **** :33.



Jul 6, 2012 -- 5:47PM, RPJesus wrote:


"Do or do not, there is no try." - Albus Dumbledore, The Lord of the Rings.



Jul 16, 2012 -- 3:14PM, catowner wrote:

Jul 16, 2012 -- 1:57PM, zpikduM wrote:

Its like that one time Elves broke out in a field of Jund. Elves became a resurgent hit, then died off again once Jund adapted to the rest of the field of G/W that it required mass removal that inherently pooped on Elves too.

Submit to the menace. Delver can, and will blot out the sun.


Then we shall play in the shade.



Jul 20, 2012 -- 6:02PM, catowner wrote:

I'm sorry, this forum isn't for getting bad advice on mediocre decks, that's standard deck help.  This forum is for starting ****storms.



Aug 13, 2012 -- 7:17AM, bay_falconer wrote:

Aug 12, 2012 -- 5:26PM, GM_Champion wrote:

Your advice would only lead me to make generic, boring, and unworthy content. It's of no use to me.



I just got this image of you as an architect, having finished a building suspended by only a small pole in its southwest corner, saying it's original.

Then the building collapses.



Aug 22, 2012 -- 7:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

I for one love the flavor of legendary lands.

"I remember my days as a youth at Tolarian Academy ."
"Wow, small multiverse, I actually went there too."
"WAIT, DON'T- Well ****, there's $200,000 in student loans well spent."



Aug 26, 2012 -- 11:18AM, RPJesus wrote:


And flavor goes out the window when you cast a second copy of a planeswalker right after the first one dies, so...

"Hey Nissa, I need a favor."
"You just asked me for a 'favor' like thirty seconds ago, and it turned out to be having Sarkhan Transmogrify my only follower into a dragon like 5 times -which dickery aside also violates some laws of causality - and then you let me get beaten over the head by that hedron crab."
"...I'll give you "
"...Well all right then."



Sep 6, 2012 -- 7:35PM, Jessica_Morgan wrote:

GM, I don't think Dill is better than you. I KNOW it. Even if he wakes up every morning, clubs a baby seal, steals all the TV remotes from within a block's radius of his house and then robs hungry orphans of their food he'd be better than you, for the simple reason that he learns from his mistakes.



Oct 8, 2012 -- 9:15AM, AzureShade wrote:


Oct 8, 2012 -- 9:10AM, EyeHunter wrote:

Tamiyo vs. Gideon

What would they have to fight about?  Like, all I can think of now is Gideon going "Hey, long-ears!  I'm gathering a group of 'Walkers together to fight some tentacle monsters.....you want in?"  and Tamiyo going "Ew!  Hentai no bakka Gideon-desu desu!" and flying away.



Oct 13, 2012 -- 12:42AM, Uhhsam wrote:

I open 4 packs just to be on the safe side.  Not only do I get more cards than everyone else, but I also get to spend the rest of the night off.  Win Win.



Nov 5, 2012 -- 10:48AM, Renasce wrote:


MaRo has a thing for people opening boosters with bad cards. But since he can only get so many bad cards printed in each set, he has found a devious way of getting more bad cards into circulation: He makes entire print sheets with just bad rares, then puts them onto the assembly line. He proceeds to wring his hands and twirl his evil mustache that he grew for twirling purposes as a lightning bolt strikes in the background. Afterwards, he goes to make sure that the good cards are only opened by everyone's friends, and that we all only get to open bad cards. He does this by memorising each booster, than switching them around accordingly. Whenever someone complains about a card, he immediately jumps out from behind a chair to yell "WELL, IT'S NOT FOR YOU!" before merging back into the shadows in order to devise new ways in which he can screw over players, then claim that he has valid reasons for doing so.



Nov 29, 2012 -- 9:00AM, bay_falconer wrote:

Nov 29, 2012 -- 8:56AM, GeekyDad wrote:

You open a booster pack, and staring back at you from the rare slot is a Lotleth Troll?

At least I can stick him in my EDH deck and still have four for my standard constructed.



Because lol troll



Dec 20, 2012 -- 9:49AM, Dragon_Nut wrote:

It helped that I more or less skipped most of GM_Champion's longer diatribes. I only have so many brain cells I'm willing to sacrifice each day.



Jan 13, 2013 -- 8:14AM, Catotheyounger wrote:


Mark Rosewater is sitting in a seemingly innocuous cable TV van, outside of Bankaimastery's house.  Sitting nearby are two hardened criminal hackers, fresh out of prison, and filled with resentment at their lack of physical fitness.  "Have you managed to hack his brainwaves yet?  The set deadline's coming up fast."  "We're almost through.  It should be coming up on the screen any second."  The hacker presses a button, and Kevin's thoughts flash onto the screen.  Mark and the hackers stare in amazement at the sheer beauty, the elegance, and the raw truth of what they see.  It's like the ending to 2001:  A Space Odyssey.  Brilliant light shines across the screen, the truth of existence is made clear to them, and they despair at their own foolishness, their own ignorance, their own inadequacy.  And then they steal his ideas.  As they return back to R&D, Mark sneers at a haggard old man chained to a cast-iron sphere.  The man looks up from his laborious task of breaking rocks in the dungeon of Wizards of the Coast headquarters, and asks a question:  "Kevin, my greatest student.  He - he's all right, isn't he?  You didn't hurt him?"  Mark deals him a weighty blow with his boot.  "Know your place, Richard.  Get back to work."



Feb 5, 2013 -- 9:30AM, Jman22 wrote:



Now show me on the Garruk doll where Zac Hill ruined your enjoyment of Magic...



Mar 5, 2013 -- 9:36AM, Astarael7 wrote:

I'm only opposed to it because it bears so little relation to how people actually play the game. The example of Miracles is actually a much better one then the Clone example I was trying to use.

From the game's perspective, the card can move instantly from face down in the library to revealed in the hand and that's fine for the rules. But in real life, we can't actually do that, so the card spends a good bit of time in locations that are neither where that player's library is nor where that player's hand is. And that's fine for real life. What I don't want is the disconnect to be explicitly codified. Along the lines of

183664.697 A game of Magic as laid out by these rules exists only as a pure Platonic ideal, utterly unrealizable by fallible mortals limited by the confines of physicality and the ravages of evil and sin.

183664.698 The cake is a lie, too.

I know it's true, but I don't want the rules to actually straight-up tell me that.



Apr 26, 2013 -- 7:53PM, Decktesting54 wrote:

Apr 26, 2013 -- 3:50PM, Ebontail wrote:

Pfft this cant be serious can it? If it is please delete your account OP. Its not even close to ban worthy, considering what JTMS and stoneforge had to accomplish to get banned i see the WotC selling magic to aquire Pokemon before that ever happens.



I'm trying to imagine sorin markov as a gym leader in one of those pokemon games which you have to beat him to get his badge... somehow I imagine that he would stab you in the chest with his sword before giving you the badge, even if you beat his pokemon....



May 9, 2013 -- 1:23PM, Smoke_Stack wrote:

Personally, I'd be fine with tea time but then I'm not gonna waste the mana summoning Emrakul, the Aeons Torn . He always takes all the sugar, drinks the whole pot of Earl Grey and doesn't even say thank you. SO. RUDE.





Break the Card Show


What is Break the Card? Show

Break the Card is a regular thread in the Cards and Combo Forum. Quite simply, the participants are given a Johnnystatic card (e.g. Xenograft ) and are asked to build a deck around it. The winner and honorable mentions are sigged below. Get brewing!


Week 1 : Xenograft Show

This week's Break the Card was based around Xenograft .
Thread : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27681049/Break_the_card_:_Xenograft?pg=1

Winner : Axterix with his Vampdrazi deck.
Finalist : Vektor480 with his Ally/Golem/Plant deck.
Honorable mentions : Zammm for the Turntimber Ranger combo and TinGorilla for suggesting Sarkhan the Mad .


Week 2 : Mindlock Orb Show


Here's the link to the Mindlock Orb contest : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27697565/Break_the_Card_:_Mindlock_Orb?sdb=1&pg=last#497536269

Winner : Axterix with his Maralen of the Mornsong deck.
Honorable mentions : Void_Elemental.



Week 3 : Bludgeon Brawl Show


Here's the link to Break the Card : Bludgeon Brawl : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27715169/Break_the_Card_:_Bludgeon_Brawl?sdb=1&pg=last#498208797

Winner : Vektor and his Grab the World deck.
Finalist : Crandor with his Awesome Aliteration deck.
Honorable mentions : RP Jesus with his Wat deck and Zix200 with his Signet Renewal deck.



Week 4 : Followed Footsteps Show


This week was Followed Footsteps : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27748677/Break_the_Card_:_Followed_Footsteps?pg=1

Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Exponential Growth deck.
Honorable mentions : Zix with his Carbon Copies deck and Escef with his Fungus of Speed and Time deck.



Week 5 : Delaying Shield Show


This week's card was Delaying Shield : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27790101/Break_the_Card_:_Delaying_Shield

Winner : Tevish_Szat.
Finalist : Vampire_Bat.
Honorable Mention : Zix200.



Week 6 : Painter's Servant Show


This week's card was Painter's Servant : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27940861/Break_the_Card_:_Painters_Servant?pg=1

Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Paint it Black deck.
Finalist : Wprundv with his Tiger, Tiger Painted Bright deck.



Week 7 : Venser, the Sojourner Show


This week's card was Venser, the Sojourner : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27977489/Break_the_Card_:_Venser,_the_Sojourner

Winner : Izzett with her "Venser, Trickster Trader" deck.
Finalist : Wprundv with his "Tactical Sojourner Action" deck.



Week 8 : Personal Sanctuary Show


This week's card was Personal Sanctuary : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28005461/Break_the_card_:_Personal_Sanctuary

Winner : MrQuizzles.
Honorable mention : Vampire_Bat and UbberSheep



Week 9 : Sundial of the Infinite Show


This week's card was Sundial of the Infinite : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28038277/Break_the_card_:_Sundial_of_the_Infinite

Finalist : Izzett with her "Afterlife Trespassers" deck.
Winner : Xeromus with his "Fortune 500" deck.



Week 10 : Jace's Archivist Show


This week's card was Jace's Archivist : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28063377/Break_the_Card_:_Jaces_Archivist.

Finalists : Jentaru with his "Consecration of the Draw" deck and HereticSmitty with his "ADHD: The deck" deck.
Winner : JaxsonBateman with his "The Archives Are Endless!" deck.



Week 11 : Search the City Show


This week's card was Search the City :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29518555/Break_the_Card_:_Search_the_City

Finalist : Mown with "A Thousand Footsteps".
Winner : Desolation_masticore with "Burn the City".


Week 12 : Fiend Hunter Show


This week's card was Fiend Hunter :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29530975/Break_the_Card_:_Fiend_Hunter

Winner : Yuyu63 with "Carnival Hunting".
Honorable mention : Dknowle's "Champion the Fiend".



Week 13 : Clock of Omens Show


This week's card was Clock of Omens :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29541549/Break_the_Card_:_Clock_of_Omens?pg=1

Winner : Dknowle's "The Myrs Go Marching".



Week 14 : Light of Sanction Show


This week's card was Light of Sanction :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29607219/Break_the_Card_:_Light_of_Sanction?pg=1

Winner : Zauzich's "Divine Plague".



Week 15 : Assemble the Legion Show


This week's card was Assemble the Legion :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29662307/Break_the_Card_:_Assemble_the_Legion

Winner : JBTM's "Some Assembly Required".



Week 16 : High Tide Show

This week's cards were High Tide and/or Bubbling Muck :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29760427/Break_the_Card_:_High_Tide

Winner : Mown's "Puppet Strings".



Week 17 : Illusionist's Bracers Show


This week's card was Illusionist's Bracers : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29776943/Break_the_Card_:_Illusionistss_Bracers

Winner : Enigma256's "Tezzeret's Bracers"


Week 18 : Savor the Moment Show


This week's card was Savor the Moment :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29787235/Break_the_Card_:_Savor_the_Moment

Winner : POSValkir's "A Savory Filibuster!"



Week 19 : Grinning Ignus Show


This week's card was Grinning Ignus : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29795547/Break_the_Card_:_Grinning_Ignus

Winner : dknowle's "Luren' and Laughin'".



Week 20 : Transcendence Show


This week's card was Transcendence : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29806481/Break_the_Card_:_Transcendence

Winners : Mown's "Transcending Timing Restrictions" and Dknowle's "Blinded by Greed", tied for the win.



Week 21 : Mortus Strider Show


This week's card was Mortus Strider : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29818471/Break_the_Card_:_Mortus_Strider

Winner : SimonGlume's "Mortus Head".



Week 22 : High Priest of Penance Show


This week's card was High Priest of Penance : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29917231/Break_the_Card_High_Priest_of_Penance

Winners : JBTM's "Two Clerics and a Goblin walk into a (Bom)bar(dment)..." and POSValkir1's "Choke Their Rivers with Our Dead!".



Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 3:37PM #1313
dlthe
Date Joined: Jan 6, 2009
Posts: 4,295

Jan 5, 2012 -- 2:22PM, IronMagus wrote:

Ok so this guy was just a total D-bag.  First, we have this:



YEP!

0:05:21 [b is b] et je t'emmerde pauvre con (???)




It's been a few years, but I am pretty sure that means something like "And I am bored sugarless by your idiotic silly buggers".

of course, sugar = a different word, with 4 letters, starting with S. "merde" in French literally means "s**t" -> emmerder = "to bore the s**t out of". It's what you might say after a really bad lecture on accounting or something really exciting like that.
and "con" is a slang word in french for, a stupid person. But really dumb, like, a total moron. It's a really nasty word, it's like calling someone a dum bass, but with an added twist of contempt.




M:tG Rules Adviser
Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 3:48PM #1314
IronMagus
Date Joined: Aug 10, 2005
Posts: 5,678
I figured it was probably something like that.  People don't ususally switch to foreign languages to say "Dear me, it seems your are absolutely correct.  I shall now concede this game, and bid you a fond farewell" before rage-quitting.  Though the practice still kind of baffles me -- if you're gonna bother to insult me, wouldn't you want me to know it?
MTG Rules Advisor since 2007-06-27.  Amateur MTG rules nerd since forever.
Download the official rules and more at wizards.com/magic/rules

-[ IronMagus' New Marketplace Trade Thread ]- 100+ completed trades!
Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 3:50PM #1315
ToHarvestTheStorm
Date Joined: Dec 22, 2011
Posts: 20

Jan 5, 2012 -- 2:22PM, IronMagus wrote:

Ok so this guy was just a total D-bag.  First, we have this:

0:02:16 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Volt Charge from Hand
0:02:17 [IronMagus] Shrine of Burning Rage now has 6 (+1) counters.

0:02:22 [b is b] Ok
0:02:23 [b is b] gg
0:02:24 [b is b] g2
0:02:25 [b is b] [Opponent is requesting a new game]

0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] ok
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] ip (Apparently he did say he'd play, but I guess I missed that because I was still sideboarding)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 7 cards
0:00:00 [b is b] kp
(meanwhile I'm still sideboarding.  Soon enough, I finish, and start the game...)
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:03 [IronMagus] [New Game: waiting for opponent]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus shuffles library
0:00:00 [IronMagus] If we have a disagreement about the rules, please don't quit.  We can get a ruling in a short time, and perhaps we'll both understand the rules a little better when it's through.  Last person who quit without learning: Patricio Jimenez
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus shuffles library
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 7 cards (As soon as I draw my cards, however...)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] [-------- New Game Started --------]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus's Security Code: B39B7F83/sb [Type 2]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] b is b's Security Code: AD646E58 [???]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:01 [b is b] [Opponent is requesting a new game] (He starts it over again!  Maybe he didn't like his cards, and wanted a "free" mull to 7 instead of going down to six?)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 7 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus shuffles library
0:00:00 [IronMagus] If we have a disagreement about the rules, please don't quit.  We can get a ruling in a short time, and perhaps we'll both understand the rules a little better when it's through.  Last person who quit without learning: Patricio Jimenez
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] [-------- New Game Started --------] (I just roll with it, and draw a new hand)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus's Security Code: B39B7F83/sb [Type 2]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] b is b's Security Code: AD646E58 [???]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:00 [b is b] kp
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 7 cards
0:00:03 [IronMagus] kp
0:00:08 [b is b] you start !!
0:00:08 [b is b] lol

0:00:11 [b is b] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:14 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Mountain from Hand (I didn't want to argue with him about how you have to say that before you draw, so I just went ahead and took my turn.)
0:00:14 [b is b] don't cry
0:00:14 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:00:15 [b is b] plz
0:00:15 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Grim Lavamancer from Hand
0:00:17 [IronMagus] End my turn
0:00:19 [b is b] you got first
0:00:20 [b is b] !!
0:00:25 [b is b] I PLAY
0:00:29 [b is b] noob

0:00:31 [IronMagus] ? (WTF?  So, who starts?  Make up your damn mind already!)
0:00:32 [b is b] b is b is now the controller of Mountain
0:00:32
[b is b] b is b is now the controller of Grim Lavamancer (note that's him taking my stuff, not me giving it to him)
0:00:34 [IronMagus] ok (I don't want to get in a fight here, I just want to play some Magic.)
0:00:34 [b is b] b is b puts Grim Lavamancer to Graveyard from Play
0:00:34 [b is b] b is b puts Mountain to Graveyard from Play

0:00:37 [b is b] b is b plays Plains from Hand
0:00:37 [IronMagus] IronMagus puts Mountain to Hand from Graveyard
0:00:38 [IronMagus] IronMagus puts Grim Lavamancer to Hand from Graveyard

0:00:38 [b is b] End my turn
0:00:47 [IronMagus] then why did you say "you start !!"?
0:00:51 [IronMagus] It is now turn 2 (IronMagus)
0:00:51 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:53 [IronMagus] IronMagus untaps his/her permanents
0:00:53 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
0:00:54 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws a card
0:00:54 [IronMagus] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:55 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Mountain from Hand
0:00:55 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:00:56 [IronMagus] IronMagus plays Grim Lavamancer from Hand
0:00:57 [b is b] It is now turn 3 (b is b)
0:00:57 [b is b] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:58 [b is b] It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
0:00:58 [b is b] b is b draws a card

(No response, so we continue on with the game, until later on when he tries to O-Ring my only nonland permanent, a Shrine of Burning Rage : )


0:04:11 [b is b] b is b puts Tezzeret's Gambit to Graveyard from Play
0:04:19 [b is b] b is b taps Glacial Fortress
0:04:19 [b is b] b is b taps Plains
0:04:21 [b is b] b is b taps Sphere of the Suns
0:04:22 [b is b] Sphere of the Suns now has 3 (-1) counters.
0:04:23 [b is b] b is b plays Oblivion Ring from Hand (Immediately draws a line to my Shrine)
0:04:27 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:04:27 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:04:27 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Mountain
0:04:28 [IronMagus] IronMagus taps Shrine of Burning Rage (I'm gonna pop the Shrine, get some damage in and make him exile one of his own permanents.)
0:04:31 [IronMagus] resp to ring
0:04:28 [b is b] b is b taps Tumble Magnet
0:04:31 [b is b] resp

0:04:34 [b is b] Tumble Magnet now has 4 (-1) counters.
0:04:38 [IronMagus] don't work like that
0:04:42 [b is b] lol
0:04:45 [b is b] i resp

0:04:49 [IronMagus] doesn't matter
0:04:50 [b is b] for activated
0:04:51 [IronMagus] I've already activated it
0:04:52 [b is b] yes
0:04:55 [b is b] no

0:04:59 [IronMagus] look, want me to go fetch the rule?
0:05:03 [IronMagus] or just paraphrase?

0:05:12 [b is b] play right or i quit
0:05:19 [IronMagus] let's do this step by step then
0:05:21 [b is b] et je t'emmerde pauvre con (???)
0:05:22 [IronMagus] back up ok?
0:05:24 [System] Player Lost




0:00:00 [IronMagus] If we have a disagreement about the rules, please don't quit.  We can get a ruling in a short time, and perhaps we'll both understand the rules a little better when it's through.  Last person who quit without learning: Patricio Jimenez b is b




Rofl, might I suggest a girlfriend? Lmfao what a clown.

I desire to go to Hell and not to Heaven. In the former I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes, while in the latter are only beggars, monks and apostles.

-Soivet EB Reloaded
Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 4:45PM #1316
RPJesus
Date Joined: Nov 27, 2005
Posts: 15,148

Jan 5, 2012 -- 3:48PM, IronMagus wrote:

I figured it was probably something like that.  People don't ususally switch to foreign languages to say "Dear me, it seems your are absolutely correct.  I shall now concede this game, and bid you a fond farewell"



Oh god I need to learn how to do this now. I guess "Moshiwake arimasen" would convey more or less the same notion, but then dropping random Japanese into an otherwise English conversation brings us to a whole other kind of social ineptitude. I dunno, anybody wanna take a shot at translating that to French?

Zammm = Batman.
Bronies unite.
"I'd call you a genius, but I'm in the room."
It's my sig in a box Show

Jul 29, 2012 -- 9:56PM, ChaosLight wrote:


Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.


Oct 18, 2012 -- 11:06AM, SteelWall wrote:

Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.


Oct 26, 2012 -- 8:17AM, Chaikov wrote:

Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.



Dec 3, 2012 -- 10:18PM, Splattercat wrote:


Funny story:
InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. 
I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul:

Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." 
Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb."
Me: "*Sigh*. Okay."

I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board.

Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.


My DM on Battleminds:

no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.





Jan 15, 2013 -- 5:28PM, Iam_IronMan wrote:


Jan 15, 2013 -- 5:20PM, Jerrymm91 wrote:

Hi guys!  So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic.  I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked.  Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon.  Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in.  Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play.  I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's.  However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks.  I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real.  I want to begin playing it as a regular.  My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck?  Or are there special rules?  Are some cards forbidden or restricted?  Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol. 


I have the same problem with women.




Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry Show


Jan 7, 2012 -- 6:59PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.



Dec 2, 2012 -- 1:39PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.



Dec 17, 2012 -- 4:27PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.




Feb 8, 2012 -- 4:40AM, ArtVenn wrote:

I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now.

O' Jesus

Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle.

Amen.


Feb 17, 2011 -- 3:08AM, ArtVenn wrote:

Feb 16, 2011 -- 6:43PM, RPJesus wrote:

It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think  about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic , giving you time to set up your silly combo . Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills


Seriously, that was amazing.  I laughed my *ss off.  Made my day, and I just woke up.


ArtVenn
You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.




Jan 11, 2012 -- 7:19AM, Salla wrote:

Jan 11, 2012 -- 4:37AM, Ogiwan wrote:


.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?



Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again?

Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.


May 16, 2011 -- 12:18PM, Salla wrote:

I don't say this often, but ...

LOL



May 10, 2010 -- 7:37AM, AivaRuin wrote:



You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster...

Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil.

And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.



Jun 29, 2011 -- 11:05AM, Lineov wrote:

Jun 28, 2011 -- 2:44PM, Litmus wrote:



I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here.  ...



Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic


Jan 16, 2012 -- 11:37PM, febbstalicious42 wrote:

Jan 16, 2012 -- 11:35PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jan 16, 2012 -- 9:58PM, HeartlessNobody wrote:

we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary


So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?


I lol'd.


Oct 26, 2011 -- 11:40PM, zammm wrote:

Oct 26, 2011 -- 7:43PM, TyGuy42 wrote:

Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?

The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."



Feb 9, 2012 -- 8:41AM, Dilleux_Lepaire wrote:

Spoiler: Show

Feb 9, 2012 -- 7:45AM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Feb 9, 2012 -- 5:49AM, ORC_Ragnar wrote:

I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct.

You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_...

Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively.

If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.

...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?



I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right?

Right.



Mar 9, 2012 -- 3:32PM, Garthanos wrote:

Mar 7, 2012 -- 4:54PM, RPJesus wrote:


Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).



Mar 19, 2012 -- 5:07PM, Kalnaur wrote:

Mar 19, 2012 -- 4:41PM, DoctorBadWolf wrote:


This just won the argument, AFAIC.



That's just awesome.



May 12, 2010 -- 9:36AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

May 11, 2010 -- 5:46PM, Master_Yumyums wrote:

HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!



That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players.

And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it.

He/It got me with Light of Sanction , which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).



Dec 16, 2011 -- 10:16AM, HairlessThoctar wrote:


+10



Jun 24, 2012 -- 8:23PM, Eonblueapocalypse1 wrote:

Jun 24, 2012 -- 8:13PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jun 24, 2012 -- 8:02PM, tehbeast wrote:

heaven or hell.


Round 1. Lets rock.



GG quotes!

RPJesus just made this thread win!



Jul 25, 2012 -- 12:06AM, WhiteRaven810 wrote:

Jul 23, 2012 -- 6:26PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jul 23, 2012 -- 5:47PM, felisdomesticus wrote:


Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS.  I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about:  creatures.


Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad , things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed .



You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.



On what flavor text fits me:

Nov 15, 2012 -- 12:55AM, CadaverousBl00m wrote:

Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius ?



Sep 15, 2012 -- 4:24PM, Dragon_Nut wrote:


First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.



Sep 17, 2012 -- 1:31PM, Banderbear wrote:


I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.



Jan 2, 2013 -- 7:46AM, royk wrote:



I you loads



Jan 20, 2013 -- 10:27PM, TV_Casualty wrote:

Jan 20, 2013 -- 10:17PM, RPJesus wrote:

"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran


10/10. Amazing.



Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 6:05PM #1317
Dilleux_Lepaire
Date Joined: Dec 6, 2005
Posts: 8,864

Jan 5, 2012 -- 3:37PM, dlthe wrote:

Jan 5, 2012 -- 2:22PM, IronMagus wrote:

Ok so this guy was just a total D-bag.  First, we have this:



YEP!

0:05:21 [b is b] et je t'emmerde pauvre con (???)

It's been a few years, but I am pretty sure that means something like "And I am bored sugarless by your idiotic silly buggers".

of course, sugar = a different word, with 4 letters, starting with S. "merde" in French literally means "s**t" -> emmerder = "to bore the s**t out of". It's what you might say after a really bad lecture on accounting or something really exciting like that.
and "con" is a slang word in french for, a stupid person. But really dumb, like, a total moron. It's a really nasty word, it's like calling someone a dum bass, but with an added twist of contempt.




"Je t'emmerde" has a different meaning than "Je m'emmerde" or "tu m'emmerde". To "emmerder" someone means something along the lines of "eff you". It's based on the image on, well, burying someone in fecal matter. What you're thinking about is "tu m'emmerdes", which can have the meaning of "you're boring me".

"Eff you, dumb***" would be an adequate english way of saying approximately the same thing.

Jan 5, 2012 -- 4:45PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jan 5, 2012 -- 3:48PM, IronMagus wrote:

I figured it was probably something like that.  People don't ususally switch to foreign languages to say "Dear me, it seems your are absolutely correct.  I shall now concede this game, and bid you a fond farewell"



Oh god I need to learn how to do this now. I guess "Moshiwake arimasen" would convey more or less the same notion, but then dropping random Japanese into an otherwise English conversation brings us to a whole other kind of social ineptitude. I dunno, anybody wanna take a shot at translating that to French?




"Mon Dieu, on dirait que vous avez totalement raison. Je devrai donc vous concéder cette partie, et je vous offre mes plus sincères salutations."

Followed by --players lost--, this should be hilarious

Rules Advisor

Quotes Show

Jan 10, 2011 -- 11:15AM, Uhhsam wrote:

giving a magnet to a dude in a mask with a little dagger so he can single-handedly bring down the meanest fatty ever to annihilate a plane .



Feb 23, 2011 -- 10:29AM, RPJesus wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 6:21AM, Dragon_Whelp wrote:

Feb 23, 2011 -- 4:48AM, Riorvard wrote:

Rancor dies to in-response removal.



Yeah... Until next game, where it'll be right back.

Seriously, there's no way to deal with Rancor in any format. It should be banned, except Gleemax is a lobbyist for the Rancor party, so that'll never happen.


You can't ban rancor, it just returns to your deck.



Apr 16, 2011 -- 12:06PM, Dragon_Whelp wrote:

Apr 16, 2011 -- 12:02PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

You might want to actually talk to the Flavor & Storyline Board people... since, you know, our whole reason for playing Magic is the flavor. I'm willing to bet you'll get a lot more interest there than in General.



Indeed, both posters down there would be thrilled.



Apr 26, 2011 -- 5:10PM, Vektor480 wrote:


I think I wasn't direct enough in my last post. I'll try to fix it now.
Ahem...
NO ONE CARES

there you have it.



May 3, 2011 -- 9:29AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

When talks about banning Jace first started, I was thinking that I would see him banned come June 20th. But as I think more about it, I don't really think that Jace is the problem anymore. Sure his power level leaves very little to the imagination (opening Jace is like opening a refrigerator box with a naked girl on the inside), and sure his price does have a strong impact on what players choose to play (playing Jace is like being intimate with a woman and she doesn't charge you in the morning), but it is not the source of all the problems in Standard.



May 24, 2011 -- 12:02AM, SleetFox wrote:

How do people think saving room to print more abilities on cards is dumbing down the game?

Do you really think, say, Akroma would ever be printed if she said, "Akroma can block by creatures with this ability and cannot be blocked by creatures without this ability.  If a creature without this ability would deal combat damage by Akroma would be destroyed, prevent all combat damage that creature would deal to Akroma this combat.  Attacking does not cause Akroma to tap.  If Akroma is blocked and deals lethal damage, it deals the remainder of its damage to the defending player.  Akroma may attack and use abilities that require tapping in the casting cost the turn it enters the battlefield.  Akroma cannot be damaged, enchanted, equipped, blocked or targeted by black or red sources" rather than her "dumbed down" wording she has?  No freaking way.  Keywording and shorthand allows them to make complicated cards easy to play with, allowing them to be printed in the first place.



May 30, 2011 -- 5:57PM, Vektor480 wrote:

The creation of praetors was worth it just because now amoeboid changeling is a praetor.



Jul 6, 2011 -- 4:06AM, Purple_Shrimp wrote:

1. cast frankie peanuts 2. ask opponent "will you concede the game this turn"? if they say yes, you win; if they say no, play a staying power
3. subsequently ask "will you attack this turn"? and "will you cast a spell this turn"? (using a Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir for the second question if necessary) to ensure they can't disrupt the combo
4. donate them a platinum angel
5. play a mox lotus and braingeyser them for every card in their library. play an opalescence and donate them a glorious anthem and a blacker lotus , then play enchanted evening . play and activate a mindslaver and then donate them a fastbond and the mox lotus (returning one of the donates to your hand with eternal witness or whatever)
6. during their turn, play every permanent in their hand (playing lands with fastbond) then (as yourself) cast mirrorweave on the blacker lotus, so every permanent becomes a copy of it. proceed to tear up every card they control, and hopefully do it before they notice that they aren't bound by staying power's ability anymore and can concede



Sep 8, 2011 -- 10:08AM, SereneChaos wrote:

Sep 8, 2011 -- 10:03AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Sep 8, 2011 -- 9:39AM, SereneChaos wrote:


One part of the statement being true=/=the whole statement true.


Whatever.
I'm still here about ten minutes away. Whenever you want to get destroyed in Magic, I'm available.



I would like to get destroyed in Magic, actually. Do you know anybody good enough?



Sep 9, 2011 -- 11:30AM, ElvenSoma wrote:

Please format your statements in a way that doesn't look like a baboon hit its face on your keyboard.



Sep 10, 2011 -- 2:58AM, Purple_Shrimp wrote:

why did Garruk Relentless lose a loyalty counter

Spoiler: Show

to get to the other side



Oct 8, 2011 -- 10:22AM, catowner wrote:

You're such an obvious troll that you have hexproof and : Regenerate.



Nov 7, 2011 -- 2:34AM, RPJesus wrote:

Nov 7, 2011 -- 12:25AM, krichaiushii wrote:

Dark Ritual being overpowered is determined more by what is done with it than the card itself.


True, but the fact that it enables so many ridiculous things is pretty telling. It's like, sure I can use a shotgun as a bludgeoning instrument, but that doesn't make it not a shotgun.



Nov 21, 2011 -- 12:09PM, Yanmato1 wrote:

Shortly before Serra died, she transferred her spark into an angel whose full name was Asha Avacyn Bolas. Her dragon father groomed her for her positions in Alara and Innistrad, and she's also been getting help from her uncle Ugin in the form of Urza, who was resurrected as Marit Lage to be the avatar as which she projects herself into material realms. Grieslbrand is a split personality who sometimes wanders the planes disguised as a human woman named Liliana Vess.



Nov 22, 2011 -- 6:59PM, rulesinquisitor wrote:

Yeah that (Content Removed) really annoys me.

Moderated by MY_self right about naahowwww!



Dec 5, 2011 -- 4:01PM, Gemstone386 wrote:

Dilleux_Lepaire just won the thread.



Jan 21, 2012 -- 12:45PM, KeeperofManyNames wrote:

And, as usual, Dilleux wins the entire thread. Nice work, sir, nice work.



Dec 14, 2011 -- 2:33PM, signofzeta wrote:

They need to make 9 layers of zones where cards go when they "die".  Much like Hell.



Jan 22, 2012 -- 3:32AM, Escef wrote:


Wow, holy doggy poop, kids, obvious statement is obvious.



Feb 5, 2012 -- 11:35AM, krichaiushii wrote:

Feb 5, 2012 -- 8:48AM, garruk_rellentless wrote:

i don't think your geting it WotC is trying to kill the comption to make it so that there shity app is the only one left.

I haven't tried the app.   How is its use of English grammar?

Cheers!



Feb 23, 2012 -- 1:16PM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Everyone's life would be easier if players would, instead of coming to the 'net for help with a deck, just netdeck and be done with it. And I'm not talking about some Top 8 lists, for the Casualists, too, can benefit from netdecking. I've netdecked plenty of decks from the Casual Play forums from users such as Mown, Raedien, Floopfoot, and a few others. I snatched straight the heck out of my web browser. Yes, people, your original idea fell victim to a savage netdecker. You have been assimiliated.

Suppose I wanted a Zombie deck. Why on earth would I spend time searching Gatherer for a decent list of Zombie cards when Raedien already did it for me? Taking time to be creative or waiting on people on the forums to tell you why your deck sucks or 'go to Casual forums' is a disasterous waste of time (to me).



Feb 24, 2012 -- 2:29AM, RPJesus wrote:

Feb 17, 2012 -- 8:07PM, SereneChaos wrote:

If WotC started putting $100 bills in packs, the players would complain that they folded them wrong.


No, they just spam them with ban requests .

That being said, Magic was ruined back in Alpha when they added all that rules and cards [Debutantes avert your eyes]. My friends and I still like playing it the "pure" way (Basically we go into the woods and hit eachother with wiffle bats while shouting made up obscenities. You know, the way Garfield wanted it to be played). 



Mar 12, 2012 -- 11:50AM, RPJesus wrote:

Don't worry about it. I've come up with a list of changes to fix EDH.

-First off, there's no commander.
-The minimum deck size is 60 cards, and each deck can have up to four of each card, save basic lands and relentless rats. Also decks have no color identity.
-Starting life total is 20.

And voila, now things are balanced.



Mar 16, 2012 -- 11:06PM, catowner wrote:

Here's a clever play you can try yourself:
-Convince friend to run relentless rats.dec in legacy tournament
-Get a deck with lots of mill, yixlid jailer, and humility
-Drop humility and jailer, wait for him to dump his hand, mill him out
-All his rats now have no abilities.  Call a judge because he's playing an illegal deck with more than 4 of a single card.
-Get him/her banned from competitive magic play



Mar 21, 2012 -- 2:30PM, wickeddarkman wrote:

But how to mark them without making the individual sleeve different!

You could buy a skunk and slam it's butt on you deck (pardon the french)

Then after the game just sniff at your opponent's pile of cards and you will know if any of your cards are there!!!



Mar 21, 2012 -- 2:38PM, Terti wrote:

In Soviet Russia, Sorin opens You



Apr 18, 2012 -- 3:33PM, HairlessThoctar wrote:

L, is for the leather gloves you weaaaar.
O, is for the organs that guy could spaaaare.
V, is very very, extraordinay.
E, is for every vagrant i butchered in a wine cellar befooooore.



May 11, 2012 -- 5:18PM, TinGorilla wrote:

The outer layer of the Magic: the Gathering box, the carton, or crust, is fairly thin and light, and contains largely aluminosilcates.

Within that lies the middle layer, consisting of the familiar booster pack. Although solid, the booster packs' high temperatures allow them to acutally move around within the booster box. This flow, sometimes called convection, is cited by frustrated box mappers as one of WOTC's most genious uses of thermodynamics since the Ravnica block.

No one knows what lies at the core of the booster box, but scientists theorize that it must be especially dense in order to make up for the large amount of fluff distributed amongst the booster packs.



Jun 15, 2012 -- 9:39AM, Burning_Forest wrote:

Jun 15, 2012 -- 9:31AM, chinkeeyong wrote:

Torpor Orb is absolutely godawful against Vexing Devil .



whoever is playing vexing devil is probably losing anyways



Jun 15, 2012 -- 4:36PM, RPJesus wrote:

I imagine [Ajani 3's] second ability involves him hurling the creature at your opponent Brion Stoutarm style, then the guy is just like "Okay, that may have worked, but don't- GOD DAMN IT!" as he does it again because cats don't give a **** :33.



Jul 6, 2012 -- 5:47PM, RPJesus wrote:


"Do or do not, there is no try." - Albus Dumbledore, The Lord of the Rings.



Jul 16, 2012 -- 3:14PM, catowner wrote:

Jul 16, 2012 -- 1:57PM, zpikduM wrote:

Its like that one time Elves broke out in a field of Jund. Elves became a resurgent hit, then died off again once Jund adapted to the rest of the field of G/W that it required mass removal that inherently pooped on Elves too.

Submit to the menace. Delver can, and will blot out the sun.


Then we shall play in the shade.



Jul 20, 2012 -- 6:02PM, catowner wrote:

I'm sorry, this forum isn't for getting bad advice on mediocre decks, that's standard deck help.  This forum is for starting ****storms.



Aug 13, 2012 -- 7:17AM, bay_falconer wrote:

Aug 12, 2012 -- 5:26PM, GM_Champion wrote:

Your advice would only lead me to make generic, boring, and unworthy content. It's of no use to me.



I just got this image of you as an architect, having finished a building suspended by only a small pole in its southwest corner, saying it's original.

Then the building collapses.



Aug 22, 2012 -- 7:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

I for one love the flavor of legendary lands.

"I remember my days as a youth at Tolarian Academy ."
"Wow, small multiverse, I actually went there too."
"WAIT, DON'T- Well ****, there's $200,000 in student loans well spent."



Aug 26, 2012 -- 11:18AM, RPJesus wrote:


And flavor goes out the window when you cast a second copy of a planeswalker right after the first one dies, so...

"Hey Nissa, I need a favor."
"You just asked me for a 'favor' like thirty seconds ago, and it turned out to be having Sarkhan Transmogrify my only follower into a dragon like 5 times -which dickery aside also violates some laws of causality - and then you let me get beaten over the head by that hedron crab."
"...I'll give you "
"...Well all right then."



Sep 6, 2012 -- 7:35PM, Jessica_Morgan wrote:

GM, I don't think Dill is better than you. I KNOW it. Even if he wakes up every morning, clubs a baby seal, steals all the TV remotes from within a block's radius of his house and then robs hungry orphans of their food he'd be better than you, for the simple reason that he learns from his mistakes.



Oct 8, 2012 -- 9:15AM, AzureShade wrote:


Oct 8, 2012 -- 9:10AM, EyeHunter wrote:

Tamiyo vs. Gideon

What would they have to fight about?  Like, all I can think of now is Gideon going "Hey, long-ears!  I'm gathering a group of 'Walkers together to fight some tentacle monsters.....you want in?"  and Tamiyo going "Ew!  Hentai no bakka Gideon-desu desu!" and flying away.



Oct 13, 2012 -- 12:42AM, Uhhsam wrote:

I open 4 packs just to be on the safe side.  Not only do I get more cards than everyone else, but I also get to spend the rest of the night off.  Win Win.



Nov 5, 2012 -- 10:48AM, Renasce wrote:


MaRo has a thing for people opening boosters with bad cards. But since he can only get so many bad cards printed in each set, he has found a devious way of getting more bad cards into circulation: He makes entire print sheets with just bad rares, then puts them onto the assembly line. He proceeds to wring his hands and twirl his evil mustache that he grew for twirling purposes as a lightning bolt strikes in the background. Afterwards, he goes to make sure that the good cards are only opened by everyone's friends, and that we all only get to open bad cards. He does this by memorising each booster, than switching them around accordingly. Whenever someone complains about a card, he immediately jumps out from behind a chair to yell "WELL, IT'S NOT FOR YOU!" before merging back into the shadows in order to devise new ways in which he can screw over players, then claim that he has valid reasons for doing so.



Nov 29, 2012 -- 9:00AM, bay_falconer wrote:

Nov 29, 2012 -- 8:56AM, GeekyDad wrote:

You open a booster pack, and staring back at you from the rare slot is a Lotleth Troll?

At least I can stick him in my EDH deck and still have four for my standard constructed.



Because lol troll



Dec 20, 2012 -- 9:49AM, Dragon_Nut wrote:

It helped that I more or less skipped most of GM_Champion's longer diatribes. I only have so many brain cells I'm willing to sacrifice each day.



Jan 13, 2013 -- 8:14AM, Catotheyounger wrote:


Mark Rosewater is sitting in a seemingly innocuous cable TV van, outside of Bankaimastery's house.  Sitting nearby are two hardened criminal hackers, fresh out of prison, and filled with resentment at their lack of physical fitness.  "Have you managed to hack his brainwaves yet?  The set deadline's coming up fast."  "We're almost through.  It should be coming up on the screen any second."  The hacker presses a button, and Kevin's thoughts flash onto the screen.  Mark and the hackers stare in amazement at the sheer beauty, the elegance, and the raw truth of what they see.  It's like the ending to 2001:  A Space Odyssey.  Brilliant light shines across the screen, the truth of existence is made clear to them, and they despair at their own foolishness, their own ignorance, their own inadequacy.  And then they steal his ideas.  As they return back to R&D, Mark sneers at a haggard old man chained to a cast-iron sphere.  The man looks up from his laborious task of breaking rocks in the dungeon of Wizards of the Coast headquarters, and asks a question:  "Kevin, my greatest student.  He - he's all right, isn't he?  You didn't hurt him?"  Mark deals him a weighty blow with his boot.  "Know your place, Richard.  Get back to work."



Feb 5, 2013 -- 9:30AM, Jman22 wrote:



Now show me on the Garruk doll where Zac Hill ruined your enjoyment of Magic...



Mar 5, 2013 -- 9:36AM, Astarael7 wrote:

I'm only opposed to it because it bears so little relation to how people actually play the game. The example of Miracles is actually a much better one then the Clone example I was trying to use.

From the game's perspective, the card can move instantly from face down in the library to revealed in the hand and that's fine for the rules. But in real life, we can't actually do that, so the card spends a good bit of time in locations that are neither where that player's library is nor where that player's hand is. And that's fine for real life. What I don't want is the disconnect to be explicitly codified. Along the lines of

183664.697 A game of Magic as laid out by these rules exists only as a pure Platonic ideal, utterly unrealizable by fallible mortals limited by the confines of physicality and the ravages of evil and sin.

183664.698 The cake is a lie, too.

I know it's true, but I don't want the rules to actually straight-up tell me that.



Apr 26, 2013 -- 7:53PM, Decktesting54 wrote:

Apr 26, 2013 -- 3:50PM, Ebontail wrote:

Pfft this cant be serious can it? If it is please delete your account OP. Its not even close to ban worthy, considering what JTMS and stoneforge had to accomplish to get banned i see the WotC selling magic to aquire Pokemon before that ever happens.



I'm trying to imagine sorin markov as a gym leader in one of those pokemon games which you have to beat him to get his badge... somehow I imagine that he would stab you in the chest with his sword before giving you the badge, even if you beat his pokemon....



May 9, 2013 -- 1:23PM, Smoke_Stack wrote:

Personally, I'd be fine with tea time but then I'm not gonna waste the mana summoning Emrakul, the Aeons Torn . He always takes all the sugar, drinks the whole pot of Earl Grey and doesn't even say thank you. SO. RUDE.





Break the Card Show


What is Break the Card? Show

Break the Card is a regular thread in the Cards and Combo Forum. Quite simply, the participants are given a Johnnystatic card (e.g. Xenograft ) and are asked to build a deck around it. The winner and honorable mentions are sigged below. Get brewing!


Week 1 : Xenograft Show

This week's Break the Card was based around Xenograft .
Thread : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27681049/Break_the_card_:_Xenograft?pg=1

Winner : Axterix with his Vampdrazi deck.
Finalist : Vektor480 with his Ally/Golem/Plant deck.
Honorable mentions : Zammm for the Turntimber Ranger combo and TinGorilla for suggesting Sarkhan the Mad .


Week 2 : Mindlock Orb Show


Here's the link to the Mindlock Orb contest : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27697565/Break_the_Card_:_Mindlock_Orb?sdb=1&pg=last#497536269

Winner : Axterix with his Maralen of the Mornsong deck.
Honorable mentions : Void_Elemental.



Week 3 : Bludgeon Brawl Show


Here's the link to Break the Card : Bludgeon Brawl : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27715169/Break_the_Card_:_Bludgeon_Brawl?sdb=1&pg=last#498208797

Winner : Vektor and his Grab the World deck.
Finalist : Crandor with his Awesome Aliteration deck.
Honorable mentions : RP Jesus with his Wat deck and Zix200 with his Signet Renewal deck.



Week 4 : Followed Footsteps Show


This week was Followed Footsteps : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27748677/Break_the_Card_:_Followed_Footsteps?pg=1

Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Exponential Growth deck.
Honorable mentions : Zix with his Carbon Copies deck and Escef with his Fungus of Speed and Time deck.



Week 5 : Delaying Shield Show


This week's card was Delaying Shield : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27790101/Break_the_Card_:_Delaying_Shield

Winner : Tevish_Szat.
Finalist : Vampire_Bat.
Honorable Mention : Zix200.



Week 6 : Painter's Servant Show


This week's card was Painter's Servant : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27940861/Break_the_Card_:_Painters_Servant?pg=1

Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Paint it Black deck.
Finalist : Wprundv with his Tiger, Tiger Painted Bright deck.



Week 7 : Venser, the Sojourner Show


This week's card was Venser, the Sojourner : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27977489/Break_the_Card_:_Venser,_the_Sojourner

Winner : Izzett with her "Venser, Trickster Trader" deck.
Finalist : Wprundv with his "Tactical Sojourner Action" deck.



Week 8 : Personal Sanctuary Show


This week's card was Personal Sanctuary : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28005461/Break_the_card_:_Personal_Sanctuary

Winner : MrQuizzles.
Honorable mention : Vampire_Bat and UbberSheep



Week 9 : Sundial of the Infinite Show


This week's card was Sundial of the Infinite : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28038277/Break_the_card_:_Sundial_of_the_Infinite

Finalist : Izzett with her "Afterlife Trespassers" deck.
Winner : Xeromus with his "Fortune 500" deck.



Week 10 : Jace's Archivist Show


This week's card was Jace's Archivist : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28063377/Break_the_Card_:_Jaces_Archivist.

Finalists : Jentaru with his "Consecration of the Draw" deck and HereticSmitty with his "ADHD: The deck" deck.
Winner : JaxsonBateman with his "The Archives Are Endless!" deck.



Week 11 : Search the City Show


This week's card was Search the City :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29518555/Break_the_Card_:_Search_the_City

Finalist : Mown with "A Thousand Footsteps".
Winner : Desolation_masticore with "Burn the City".


Week 12 : Fiend Hunter Show


This week's card was Fiend Hunter :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29530975/Break_the_Card_:_Fiend_Hunter

Winner : Yuyu63 with "Carnival Hunting".
Honorable mention : Dknowle's "Champion the Fiend".



Week 13 : Clock of Omens Show


This week's card was Clock of Omens :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29541549/Break_the_Card_:_Clock_of_Omens?pg=1

Winner : Dknowle's "The Myrs Go Marching".



Week 14 : Light of Sanction Show


This week's card was Light of Sanction :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29607219/Break_the_Card_:_Light_of_Sanction?pg=1

Winner : Zauzich's "Divine Plague".



Week 15 : Assemble the Legion Show


This week's card was Assemble the Legion :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29662307/Break_the_Card_:_Assemble_the_Legion

Winner : JBTM's "Some Assembly Required".



Week 16 : High Tide Show

This week's cards were High Tide and/or Bubbling Muck :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29760427/Break_the_Card_:_High_Tide

Winner : Mown's "Puppet Strings".



Week 17 : Illusionist's Bracers Show


This week's card was Illusionist's Bracers : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29776943/Break_the_Card_:_Illusionistss_Bracers

Winner : Enigma256's "Tezzeret's Bracers"


Week 18 : Savor the Moment Show


This week's card was Savor the Moment :
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29787235/Break_the_Card_:_Savor_the_Moment

Winner : POSValkir's "A Savory Filibuster!"



Week 19 : Grinning Ignus Show


This week's card was Grinning Ignus : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29795547/Break_the_Card_:_Grinning_Ignus

Winner : dknowle's "Luren' and Laughin'".



Week 20 : Transcendence Show


This week's card was Transcendence : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29806481/Break_the_Card_:_Transcendence

Winners : Mown's "Transcending Timing Restrictions" and Dknowle's "Blinded by Greed", tied for the win.



Week 21 : Mortus Strider Show


This week's card was Mortus Strider : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29818471/Break_the_Card_:_Mortus_Strider

Winner : SimonGlume's "Mortus Head".



Week 22 : High Priest of Penance Show


This week's card was High Priest of Penance : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29917231/Break_the_Card_High_Priest_of_Penance

Winners : JBTM's "Two Clerics and a Goblin walk into a (Bom)bar(dment)..." and POSValkir1's "Choke Their Rivers with Our Dead!".



Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 6:33PM #1318
Vektor480
Date Joined: Apr 5, 2008
Posts: 18,652

Jan 5, 2012 -- 6:05PM, Dilleux_Lepaire wrote:

Jan 5, 2012 -- 4:45PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jan 5, 2012 -- 3:48PM, IronMagus wrote:

I figured it was probably something like that.  People don't ususally switch to foreign languages to say "Dear me, it seems your are absolutely correct.  I shall now concede this game, and bid you a fond farewell"



Oh god I need to learn how to do this now. I guess "Moshiwake arimasen" would convey more or less the same notion, but then dropping random Japanese into an otherwise English conversation brings us to a whole other kind of social ineptitude. I dunno, anybody wanna take a shot at translating that to French?




"Mon Dieu, on dirait que vous avez totalement raison. Je devrai donc vous concéder cette partie, et je vous offre mes plus sincères salutations."

Followed by --players lost--, this should be hilarious



If I may also offer another language for doing so, in case you feel like sounding in a more visible latin fashion for some reason:

"Minha nossa, parece que você está absolutamente correto. Eu agora concedo essa partida e lhe dedico um caloroso adeus."

This is Portuguese by the way. But keep in mind that most players in the illegal programs out there are Brazilian (at least as much as I've observed), so it might actually have the opposite effect. Well, at least you'll sound like a gentleman!

OMG click HERE! OMG!
How to autocard and use decklist format  ---> Show
For autocarding, write [c][/c] with the name of the card inside it.

[c]Island[/c] = Island

For linking a card to Gatherer without writting the name of said card for readers, use the autocard brackets together with and equal sign and right the name of the real card. Then put the message you want inside the tags, like you would do with autocarding. Like this:

[c=Curse of the Cabal]Captain Never-resolves[/c] = Captain Never-resolves

For using the decklist format, follow this:
[deck]
4* Terramorphic Expanse
4* Evolving Wilds
...
[/deck]

It equals:

4 x Terramorphic Expanse
4 x Evolving Wilds
...



Real signature, Sblocked for space: Show

Jan 14, 2012 -- 5:42PM, Vektor480 wrote:

I like storm crow because I really like crows in real life, as an animal, and the card isn't terribly stupid, but packs a good deal of nostalgia and also a chunck of the game's history. So it's perhaps one of the cards I have most affection to, but not because "lol storm crow is bad hurr hurr durr".


Listen to my SoundCloud while you read my signature.
  The Island, Come And See, The Landlord's Daughter, You'll Not Feel The Drowning - The Decemberists by vimschy



Quizzles Show




Quotes Show

Mar 17, 2011 -- 10:28PM, Qmark wrote:

Mar 17, 2011 -- 10:15PM, ROBRAM89 wrote:

Although I do assume you deliberately refer to them (DCI) as The Grand Imperial Convocation of Evil just for the purposes of making them sound like an ancient and terrible conspiracy.

Now, now.
1994 doesn't quite qualify as "ancient".


Oct 11, 2011 -- 9:43PM, Tevish_Szat wrote:

Oh, it's a brilliant plan.  You see, Bolas was travelling through shadowmoor, causing trouble, when he saw a Wickerbough Elder with its stylin' dead scarecrow hat.  Now, Bolas being Bolas took the awesome hat and he put it on his head, but even with all his titanic powers of magic he couldn't make it fit.  He grabbed some more scarecrows, but then a little kithkin girl asked if he was trying to build a toupee.  "BY ALL THE POWERS IN THE MULTIVERSE!" he roared, "I WILL HAVE A HAT WORTHY OF MY GLORY." and so he went through his Dark Lore of Doom (tm) looking for something he could make into a hat that would look as stylish on him as a scarecrow does on a treefolk.  He thought about the Phyrexians, but they were covered in goopy oil that would make his nonexistant hair greasy.  He Tried out angels for a while but they didn't sit quite right.  Then, he looked under "e" (because in the Elder Draconic alphabet, "e" for Eldrazi is right next to "h" for Hat) in his Dark Lore of Doom and saw depictions of the Eldrazi, and all their forms.
"THIS SHALL BE MY HAT!" he declared, poking a picture of Emrakul, "AND WITH IT I WILL USHER IN A NEW AGE OF DARKNESS -- ER, I MEAN A NEW AGE OF FASHION!"

And so Nicol Bolas masterminded the release of the Eldrazi.


Feb 25, 2012 -- 2:54PM, Mown wrote:

Rhox War Monk just flips pancakes, and if games have told us anything, it's that food = life.


Jul 11, 2011 -- 10:47PM, Qmark wrote:

Jul 11, 2011 -- 10:36PM, SleetFox wrote:

This thread has gotten creepy.  XP

Really?
Really?

The last couple days have been roughly every perverse fetish imaginable, but it only got "creepy" when speculation on Mother of Runes's mob affiliation came up?


Jun 26, 2011 -- 5:52AM, MrQuizzles wrote:

Jun 26, 2011 -- 4:59AM, Mown wrote:

Jun 26, 2011 -- 4:44AM, skeindubh wrote:


4 tropical island
4 savannah
4 bayou
4 taiga
4 savannah


Nice mana base.
Not really.



Yeah, really. If my deck was going to cost $1000+, I'd at least make it good.


May 2, 2011 -- 8:18AM, desolation_masticore wrote:

I like to think up what I consider clever names for my decks, only later to be laughed at by my wife. It kills me a little on the inside, but thats what marriage is about.


Apr 3, 2011 -- 1:39AM, DrWorm wrote:

Apr 3, 2011 -- 12:02AM, crazysamaritan wrote:

Of course, the best use [of tolaria west ] is transmuting for the real Tolaria.



Absolutely.  I used to loose to my buddy's Banding deck for ages, it was then that I found out about Tolaria , and I was finally able win my first game.


Aug 30, 2011 -- 5:17PM, Maraxas-of-Keld wrote:

WOAH

wait wait wait

Aug 30, 2011 -- 5:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

You know, being shallow and jusdgmental aside, "I later found out that Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people"



Aug 30, 2011 -- 5:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

"I later found out that Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people"



Aug 30, 2011 -- 5:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates



Aug 30, 2011 -- 5:07PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jon infiltrated



OH MY GOD


Nov 22, 2011 -- 3:52PM, Pontiac wrote:

The only way I'd cast this card is into a bonfire.


Oct 10, 2011 -- 8:55PM, Glasir wrote:

The short answer is that there's no rule barring annoying people from posting, but there a rule barring us from harassing them about it.


Jan 21, 2011 -- 7:11AM, Qmark wrote:


Browbeat is a card that is an appropriate deck choice when there's no better idea available.
"No better idea available" was pretty much the running theme of Odyssey era.


Jul 10, 2012 -- 11:28AM, Dragon_Nut wrote:

Or perhaps it was a more straightforward comment indicating a wish for you to be bitten (Perhaps repeatedly) by a small yet highly venomous arachnid.



Aug 3, 2011 -- 6:46PM, ChaosLight wrote:

You're an idiot, and I'm in no mood for silliness.


Oct 10, 2011 -- 7:30PM, Vektor480 wrote:

Oct 10, 2011 -- 5:53PM, Rubik wrote:

You just... Vektor it.


That's the answer to everything.


Jan 17, 2011 -- 6:16PM, Maraxas-of-Keld wrote:

Jan 17, 2011 -- 5:58PM, Ragnarokio wrote:


I think the problem is that you don't exist.


This would sound great out of context!


Dec 19, 2011 -- 9:07PM, Dilleux_Lepaire wrote:

Modern is like playing a new tournament every time : you build a deck, you win with it, don't bother keeping it. Just build another, its key pieces will get banned.


Aug 4, 2011 -- 2:15PM, Mown wrote:

Aug 4, 2011 -- 1:45PM, Suudsu2200 wrote:


I specifically remember posting a thread when I was just a witty bitty noob.


You make it sound like that's still not the case.


Jan 4, 2011 -- 3:04AM, Niklor wrote:

Rap is what happens when the c from crap is taken away.


Doug Beyer:

But sometimes it's also challenging. Because sometimes OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?


Mar 20, 2012 -- 1:32PM, Terti wrote:

Flashforward five thousand years (Click for atmosphere) :


Aug 15, 2011 -- 8:06PM, Veslfen wrote:

to paraphrase Jeff Goldblum, Vektor finds a way.


Aug 1, 2011 -- 12:35AM, Ragnarokio wrote:

when in rome RAPE AND PILLAGE


Jan 31, 2012 -- 11:23AM, TchainT wrote:

I always find it helpful when im angry to dress up in an owl costume and rub pennies all over my body in front of a full body mirror next to the window.


Dymecoar:

Playing Magic without Blue is like sleeping without any sheets or blankets.  You can do it...but why?


Omega137:

Me: "I love the moment when a control deck stabilizes. It feels so... right."
Omega137: "I like the life drop part until you get there, it's the MtG variant of bungee jumping"


Zigeif777:

Just do it like Yu-Gi-Oh or monkeys: throw all the crap you got at them and hope it works or else the by-standers (or opponents) just get dirty and pissed.


Apr 1, 2011 -- 10:29AM, JustTerrorIt wrote:

Apr 1, 2011 -- 10:09AM, quadibloc wrote:

It's true that Alpha and Beta didn't contain any cards like Tarmogoyf , Darksteel Colossus , or Platinum Angel . It just contained weak, insignificant cards like Black Lotus , Mox Sapphire , and Time Walk .


Normally it's difficult to pick up on your jokes/sarcasm. But this one's pretty much out there. Good progress. You have moved up to Humanoid. You'll be Human in no time.


Sep 26, 2010 -- 5:11PM, Test-Subject_217601 wrote:

Sep 26, 2010 -- 5:06PM, NeoMint wrote:

I didn't know Samurai were known to be able to cut down whole armies...


They can when they're using lightsabers !


Sep 19, 2011 -- 11:59AM, Sebanovich wrote:

Sep 19, 2011 -- 11:54AM, Long_Con wrote:

My wife brought home a baby black squirrel they found on a horse track and cared for it for a few days.  We named it Grixis, but it died. 


Unearth it!


Jan 15, 2011 -- 8:07PM, Maraxas-of-Keld wrote:

I'm a Da Vinci Neurok.





And I'm on Magic Arcana. How about you?
Oh, by the way, I'm also on From the Lab now.
Twice, actually. And now with my own submited decklist!
Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 05, 2012 - 7:09PM #1319
Nyktos
Date Joined: Oct 11, 2007
Posts: 3,336
@IronMagus: I'm thinking that "you start!! lol" was a poor attempt at sarcasm.
blah blah metal lyrics
Quick Reply
Cancel
1 year ago  ::  Jan 06, 2012 - 7:00AM #1320
LMTRK
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2009
Posts: 6,812

Jan 5, 2012 -- 2:22PM, IronMagus wrote:

0:00:00 [b is b] kp[/color] (meanwhile I'm still sideboarding.  Soon enough, I finish, and start the game...)
0:00:00 [b is b] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
...
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus draws 7 cards (As soon as I draw my cards, however...)
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b shuffles library
0:00:00 [b is b] I am ready.
0:00:00 [b is b] b is b draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [IronMagus] [-------- New Game Started --------]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] IronMagus's Security Code: B39B7F83/sb [Type 2]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] b is b's Security Code: AD646E58 [???]
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now turn 1 (b is b)
0:00:00 [IronMagus] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:01 [b is b] [Opponent is requesting a new game] (He starts it over again!  Maybe he didn't like his cards, and wanted a "free" mull to 7 instead of going down to six?)



I dont have time to read the rest right now, but just so you know, I think this wasnt his fault. Sometimes if one player starts before the other is done sideboarding, then when the second player starts/joins the game, it restarts for the first player as well (whether you liked that hand or not).

Will read more later.

~ Tim

I am Blue/White
Reached DCI Rating 1800 on 28/10/11. :D
Sig Show

Jan 5, 2013 -- 9:32PM, RPJesus wrote:

Jan 4, 2013 -- 5:20AM, LMTRK wrote:

That makes no sense to me.

If they spelled the ability out on the card in full then it would not be allowed in a mono-black Commander deck, but because they used a keyword to save space it is allowed?

~ Tim   


Yup, just like you can have Birds of paradise in a mono green deck but not Noble Hierarch . YAY COLOR IDENTITY


Oct 26, 2012 -- 9:56PM, zammm wrote:

Oct 26, 2012 -- 12:24AM, Raeoran wrote:

Is algebra really that difficult?

Survey says yes.


Jul 7, 2011 -- 12:59AM, Novacat wrote:

Jul 7, 2011 -- 12:36AM, LMTRK wrote:

You want to make a milky drink. You squeeze a cow.


I love this description. Like the cows are sponges filled with milk. I can see it all Nick Parks claymation-style with the cow's eyes bugging out momentarily as a giant farmer squeezes it like a squeaky dog toy, and milk shoots out of it.

Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 132 of 149  •  Prev 1 ... 130 131 132 133 134 ... 149 Next
Jump Menu:
 
Magic: The Gathering Magic General <3 People who say you don't know the rules 2!
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing