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Well, he's moved on to a different pun at least.

"(Okay, I guess lands were left too, but we got burned pretty bad the last time we let lands and artifacts mix.)"



hilarious

post traumatic stress disorder from affinity...
my friend STILL plays affinity.

*walks away with Nightmare....*

"In short, we found a way to take every card type (except land) and turn it into an artifact."

Still no arti-planeswalkers...

on a semi-related note: I really think they could have safely reprinted the artifact lands (at least the B, U, and W ones, with sweet new Esper art :D). Without the affinity mechanic in Block or Standard, I don't see they could have been a problem. (It would have made for some interesting metagame calls as to whether or not to field them in the face of artifact destruction, I'd say)

/rant

I decided I'd give my most useful feedback with commentary about what I was thinking as I read the article.  I'm using quotes to make it clear when I was thinking it.

Plus, as I hint at above, we had the problem that we needed to reflect this not only in blue but also in the other two colors of the shard: black and white. You think it's hard finding "control" themes in blue? Try in white or black—and remember, we're talking about common white and black to get across the message. This is why I knew when I first surveyed the five shards that Esper was the trouble-maker.

Black and white are all about some control too!  White likes to prevent damage, Pacifism creatures, and generally do things that give you the illusion of freedom without actually having any.  It also has some solid utility ("control" in the form of contraband you're not allowed to have), formerly known as Disenchant, but also Oblivion Ring and similar effects.  Slight bleeds with effects similar to Shelter and Mana Tithe or Dawn Charm would be excellent.

Black control likes the cards like Coersion and other potent discard to maim your opponent's hand.  Killing creatures is also surely control oriented.  I know the reanimation theme fits into Grixis better, so I'm not touching it with "controlling the dead".  Stealing less tangible things (like life and soul) seem black enough, while still control.

(Okay, I guess lands were left too, but we got burned pretty bad the last time we let lands and artifacts mix.)

I still think the problem is that you coddled the lands, and that's where you fell into a trap.  Your logic was "Being an artifact makes them vulnerable to all kinds of things, so it'll be ok".  Then you proceeded to specify "non-land" repeatedly, sometimes even on cards that seriously shouldn't have (I'm looking at Granulate at the moment).  Lastly, the artifact lands interacted with nearly everything in the set, most notably Affinity for artifacts.  Basically, the artifact lands were cards without a decent answer to them.

Also, if you printed an artifact land right now, but didn't have Affinity for artifacts or any other abilities surrounding it, the only thing it would do is give Affinity decks another toy.  Does anybody else want their land to be slightly more vulnerable to their opponent?  Not unless they get something out of it.

(The image of an elementary wizard learning Terror on Esper popped into my head; he's looking up at his teacher saying "Why are we bothering to learn this?").

So without further ado, click here to see Esper's common level 3.

It's a 2 mana 1/2.  I think it'd be good in an Affinity deck, but that's the only deck where it stands out as absurdly insane (where the mere fact that it has a body does nothing bit make it vulernable).

Ironically, it has Type I relevance... I mean Vintage relevance. 

P.S. Ad Nauseam looks awesomely fun.